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Felix, 18 y.o.
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Date: November 23, 2022
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Exactly, as long as I don't have proof that's my child, I'm not going to be involved with her at all.
Yea no you need to break up. It's called Trickle truthing. She's just going to keep cheating and either be better at hiding it, or more confident since you let her get away with it once.
Don't date people that like anime. Easy
If he was in love with his wife he wouldn’t have done it. Nobody truly in love would ever cheat. Anybody who does is not being honest with themselves or anyone else.
My brother in christ, please stop using exclamation points. Having said that, let me try and offer you what advice I can. I don't think you came here looking for an explanation on how to save your marriage, I think you came here looking for someone to justify your actions. Now, if that is what you want, that is fine. But you are being, at best, disingenuous by claiming you want help understanding your wife's reasons for wanting a divorce while simultaneously explaining why nothing is your fault.
As to the specifics of your situation, I am not going to judge which one of you is contributing more to your household. We are only getting your side of things and I would imagine her side would differ somewhat from what you are presenting. But for the sake of argument let's assume that you really are doing more than her. In however way you want to tally the score, or by whatever point system you are using in your head, I will just concede that you are doing more than her.
So congrats on being more productive than your wife. You win…a divorce!
But seriously, when you suggested getting divorced she fucking jumped at the chance. This in spite of knowing that this would dramatically reduce her standard of living, quality of life, and also potentially negatively affect your child. She didn't fucking hesitate. In her mind, not having to deal with you anymore is worth whatever price she has to pay.
I'm going to be honest, that is not a good look for you.
There is a definite possibility that she really is a freeloading, lazy, cold bitch that doesn't appreciate you. And if that is the case, I'm sorry and I take it all back. But if that isn't the case, then you probably need some therapy so you can understand why your marriage failed.
If I had to guess I would speculate that she feels like a live! in maid that you periodically fuck. Spending all day with a small child can be very rewarding, but it is also incredibly draining. Mentally, physically, and emotionally it takes a toll on you. Furthermore, if she isn't going to work or going out with friends or interacting with other moms, she is probably starved for adult interaction. Especially if she has spent the last few years in lockdown with minimal external interaction, that can definitely be rough on a new mom.
Maybe she is depressed. Maybe she feels she made a mistake having a kid. Maybe all of this made her realize that you two are fundamentally incompatible. I have no idea. But from the tone of your post I get the feeling that she feels leaving you would be a net positive for her and if you aren't willing to seriously examine your own actions in your marriage, then I don't think this is salvageable.
I would leave you with this. Even if your marriage is really over (and my money is on this being the end) you really need to figure out why it ended and how you can avoid it in the future. Because otherwise you are just going to carry all your issues into your next relationship.
Get her a bidet. If your bathroom cannot accomodate one, then you can get a bidet attachment for your toilet. Eliminates the need for toilet paper.
I once had a girlfriend who did the same. It will be only a short time until she starts to get abusive and violent with you because she can't handle this level of jealousy.
I feel like your friend was too callous, but I hope this begins the healing process for you. I'm so sorry for what you went through.
(Also, warn your friend that he's allergic to kiwi, and symptoms like the burning lips can worsen considerably all at once.)
Just stop calling her back til she asks why, then you can tell her if you want. No need for drama, you don't need her permission to not give her your energy
That’s what I’m saying. My husband and I know each others passwords but I don’t go looking through his phone and he doesn’t look through mine. I’m just wondering if you said hey can I use your phone and he said no did you say why? Bc to me that’s just weird. If my husband grabbed my phone to look something up bc it was closer or to snap a quick pic I wouldn’t think anything of it. But if I snatched it or told him no I feel like the obviously next question would be why.
I already said I was having a termination. God people are actually so righteous and rude here.
I can read in your post just how low your self esteem has been brought down by her.
Your partner should be the one to build you up and support you when things get tough. That’s why they are a partner, not an enemy.
Being with someone who perpetually tells you that you aren’t good enough and they are better is just a bully. Take off your rose coloured glasses and talk about the situation with your family and close friends, I think you need to hear an outside view of just how mean this person is to you.
Seems like the answer is obvious, cut him out of your life.
First of all, get a restraining order. Like, as soon as humanly possible. Also get someone to serve him a formal eviction, don’t do it yourself. If he does not leave after the eviction have all the utilities turned off and change the locks when you’re able when they’re out of the house. Or, you can contact your landlord if you’re renting and tell them basically you were in an abusive situation where he would not leave, see if you can break your lease (sometimes they’ll do it without much penalty if they’re decent) and have them evict him.
The stuff you can replace, just remember that, it might take a while but it can be replaced, you and your daughter cannot be.
Like everyone is saying I would keep contacting the police and a lawyer until you get some kind of answer as to how to proceed with recouping that money or your possessions (if EVERYTHING was truly gone like all of it, and that quickly it sounds to me like he hid your stuff as a power play and didn’t sell all of it, like maybe he sold a TV or electronics that could could get quick cash for, but things like clothes and such he probably stashed somewhere or sadly could’ve thrown out).
Truthfully I think you need to post this in R/legaladvice because we can all tell you what to do but they can give you specifics on HOW to do it.
Have you ever called the police on him before when he was physically abusive? If not it’s ok, but is there basically any written or recorded proof of his violence? Find anything you can it’ll help with getting the restraining order. You need to be strong and do literally anything you can to keep yourself and daughter away from him because this loser trash will go nuclear when he realizes there’s no chance of you coming back. And moving forward be careful, I suggest you do research as to the signs of abuse in their early stages because sadly victims of DV are more likely to attract abusers even after they get out of a bad situation, that’s not to scare you just to tell you you need to go into anything new in the future with your eyes wide open and do your research. Remember: It’s not a fault with you, men like this can literally sniff out their victims better than pigs finding truffles.
Personally this would bother me unless they only slept together once and determined they had no chemistry. I have a friend like that who id NEVER fuck. But multiple times!? Unless he was paying her there must have been some attraction there at one point. That would ick me out. But it's up to you
Dated for around 6 months. We knew each other casually beforehand and moved in with mutual friends. We didn't start dating until 2 months into the lease.
I checked your profile, you posted about two months ago (in a deleted post) that your wife has a drinking problem in addition to emotionally cheating in this post. I have only one question, why are you still with this woman?
This is the way, it also helps you mentally move past the relationship to cleanse yourself of that stuff. Plus once the relationship is over it’s safe to assume that person probably doesn’t want you having nudes of them but doesn’t feel like asking you to delete everything.
Get a divorce. Life is too short to spend with someone like this