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titjob [Multi Goal]
Date: October 10, 2022
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titjob [Multi Goal]
A narcissist won’t change. Narcissist traits are wired in their head and they are unable to see it themselves, so talking to them about it is useless. Do yourself a favor by leaving him. It’s not healthy and it would just destroy you.
You don’t have to understand. It is your low self worth rearing it’s ugly head. Smother that bitch. Instead of wondering if you deserve something, be grateful. That applies to anything in life.
She has BPD and struggles a lot with overthinking, anxiety and other issues
Ditch her.
Damn
It’s just banter. She’s pushing your buttons with some cheeky talk.
It could be flirting, but I’m going with the above.
I should add that we are no longer trying. When we were we were in a really good place. Obviously since then things haven’t worked out for us and so we decided it would be unfair to bring a baby into the world.
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Yeah ik ? I wasn’t mad on the more pets really I just wanted to program the same time in a way idk
She’s not going to change her mind, she’s ass deep into conversion therapy ffs. You want to risk exposing a kid to that?
Thank you for saying that. I think I am unconsciously racist in some sort of way. He got invited through a Facebook group. I just don’t like the way he’s saying “oh it took me years to get invited” like something he earned and he just slapped on my face.
I'm literally a sailor, and I can't manage two bottles.
Your wife’s passive aggressive behavior is pathetic and disrespectful towards you.
Losing a job due to retrenchment is common and not your fault. Finding an equivalent job can be nude, but there are plenty of businesses that would help you and just remember 70% of jobs are filled without being advertised.
Use your network to find opportunities as a lot of times it’s friends of friends that can help you. Work your network and contact list. Contact the opposition companies direct. Don’t email or call, just grab your resume and go see them.
Now, with your wife’s behavior, you need to challenge her and tell her that while you “appreciate her efforts” it is more important to find a job that suits you. Now, she will become all teary and upset then say something like “I’m only trying to help and you don’t appreciate my efforts” blah blah blah. Passive aggressive people are always the victim.
Good luck with your search. Use your network and of course look at your skills. You might not find something in the same industry but if you change industries you can tell them what skills you have and will bring.
How sexually active are the two of you together? If you're not very sexually active, she could be jealous of what's on the screen.
And this may seem odd, but do you compliment her body and build her up? Does she have body image issues? Ask her why she feels how she does. I have body image issues and I kinda tune out sometimes when I see someone I consider to be more attractive than me on a TV show or even TikTok.
Insecurities happen. It's just a matter of figuring out if she's willing to work on them so this doesn't keep happening.
A very long time ago, I cheated on my first boyfriend. I consider it the worst thing I've ever done and have felt guilty since. I've never hidden it from boyfriends since, and when I met my current partner we discussed bad things we'd done early on, and I said #1 the worst thing I ever did was cheat on my boyfriend and here's why I did it (I was young, emotionally broken, stupid and selfish), and here's why I'd never do it again.
I can see it's a breach of trust with your sister, but as others have said, if she wasn't going to do it, being honest about it was important. It also didn't sound like she was waiting to tell him – and hiding something like cheating from your partner I think isn't part of healthy relationship communication. Especially after a year together.
If you’ve been accepted, tell everyone all about it and then break up with her.
I’m inclined to agree with other commenters that this is certainly a sign of untreated mental illness.
I have OCD that partially manifests in extreme jealousy and sometimes mild paranoia, but what you’re describing is beyond that. And her constantly accusing you isn’t okay.
I went to therapy for over a decade of my life to learn to healthily cope with these feelings/convictions when they arise, it’s all about logic and thinking through it.
It’s exhausting living when you’re always suspicious of the people around you, and she absolutely has to receive therapy and/or medication to manage this or it will only become worse.
We’re still figuring out if we’re the right fit to be in a permanent commitment… which is depressing because being able to travel together is an important part of that for me. If he can’t even be Mr. Right Now, how can I want forever?
Wait? So if she's not sure what she wants career-vise, it's an issue and a negative for you so much so that you literally don't consider her as a life partner but you are totally fine with not knowing what you want in your personal life? Dude.
Just end it. I know it's not CONVENIENT for you, but you put expectations on her you don't meet yourself. And you don't even see that…
Let's say everything she said is true. This guy she slept with, felt guilty about sleeping with, and apologized,and you forgave her… She is still in contact with him? And she called him drunk when you were having issues to rant about you?
If she is completely honest, isn't this enough that you can make a decision?
And from your story, you say he never actually came. Okay. But that speaks to his behavior, not hers. You really need to think about that.
He’s actually a great employee and our bosses love him. He likes the job a lot! Only heard good things
Nah far better to expect his partner to take all the responsibility and stuff her body around with multiple rounds of Plan B hormones than actually standing by his decision.
“At least I ain’t got one weird titty, bitch…”
I'd apologize for laughing and ask him if he would be willing to talk. Send a card, chocolates or something…
Then, ask him what about being a furry is so deep and important to him. What part of it seems so central that he needs to come out to you about it? I would not explain what you think of being gay vs being furry. Let it go. Ask him what is going on for him. Clearly he thought this was a huge thing to reveal. Why? Reassure him you are friends and you are not judging.
Be careful to me it seems like you’re the back up girl/friend/FBW
That’s true actually. I should try to schedule an appointment with the therapist I was seeing
Yep
There's no fresh starts with cheaters, there are only fresh slates. All you've done here is prolong the inevitable and given her another chance to cheat on you.
I think you need to ultimatum him. If he does this and prioritises his brother above you, and the entire wedding party over a panic attack you can't marry him, ever. You're gonna go have a big party with all the guests tomorrow and bring a friend on the honeymoon. That'll give him time to move out. This can't go on. I'd tell him and his parents.
Pay for your own room? Why is that not an option?
That's ..not very much for a woman her age, with her qualifications. I couldn't retire on 1.5 million.
Do you go to the ends of the earth for him?
Have you ever asked him to be your valentines?
Have you romanced him ever?
sorry princess, chiv's dead, the future is female and you need to man up if you're gonna play with the boys.
Well rather than 'dating', stop looking for love, and start looking for platonic friends. There are guys out there looking for love who are also feeling the same things you're feeling. Be patient, don't focus on finding a romantic relationship; Love will find you when you least expect it.
Also, find a good therapist to help you sort out your emotions, show you how to boost your self-confidence & learn how be a good friend etc… Find clubs that align with your hobbies/interest and join them. Be kind to everyone, Do you, and don't worry about building relationships with who can't/wont accept you for you. Learn how to be comfortable/happy with your own company and love yourself, as you can't truly love someone else until you love yourself. You're young and have a lot of life ahead of you, be the best person to yourself you can be & enjoy the here and now.
Mute.
It sounds like your friend will dump you before you dump her – you mentioned you are not being asked to “hang out” as much now.
It's natural when one party decides too abstain that the other party may find they have less in common. Just let this die a natural death.
A tasty drink if you do find yourself at a bar is an Arnold Palmer. (Half iced tea, half lemonade, quite refreshing.)
This is completely unacceptable behaviour.
You need to leave this relationship before he hurts you.
Did you end the relationship?
I cannot believe he’s twisted your reality so much you describe normal events like going out in college as things for him to “heal from”. He’s crippled your entire college experience so far; do you want to live! your life crippled?
I fear she's not far away from agraphobia. She's started to comment on how her .ind is working, and it is frightening, I can see that she must be only a few steps away from thinking – I'm just not going to go out, it'll be easier.
You are wrong.
I think you both might have mine… I guess long men with hearts of gold are just ideal partners!
He probably covertly is just looking for permission to have an affair.
I wonder if you both would accept a different compromise, like a ring tattoo?
Yeah probably just wait and see if he reaches out. From an outside perspective, does needing time lean to break up or idk just actually need time?
ngl i would just break up. that whole overbearing mom thing is not something i’d want to be tied to. he’s a grown man but he still allows his mother to dictate his life. getting married into a situation like that is literally my form of hell.
I think I am cause me cheating is very out of character I honestly think I just got tired of his bullshit
Why do you think you depend on him?
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It's been a MONTH. This is not a long term commitment kind of thing. He can sort out his own dick.
Good point. He is trying to find someone willing to pay him $700 to make sure she has an orgasm too.
That actually makes more sense as a scam.
He’s telling me he wants time, to think things over, to give me the relationship I want.
If she's telling the truth this will outrage her and she will:
Unfriend him from LinkedIn Go to HR because this is sexual harassment
Of course she might be too afraid of backlash but this is a hill I'd die on as a woman, and a partner, that she simply must do.
I didn't see her say it was at a party with other people watching, sounds like they were hanging out one on one. I think he told his friends and instead of acting concerned they congratulated him seeing as they are 10 year old boys and not mature enough to see it as fucked up.
Perhaps OP secretly loves that she has a SO who is important enough or rich enough to need a PA? She's probably looking into the future when she's this dude's wife and can fire the PA.
Could you go with him a week or two before and then he can extend his stay?
Unfortunately no, it’s a white powder that’s relatively fine, but not super fine
Get the fuck out sweetie!! It is NOT normal at all for someone to PUSH you, ACCUSE you for wanting it and MOCKING you while crying?!? Please please leave that man. A true partner never lays hand on the other NEVER. Im begging you to leave that relationahip!
Unless you're in a relationship with her, you can only do so much.