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Date: January 21, 2023
And if she didn’t tell that one friend about every time she cheated then there could still be other things OP doesn’t know and never will.
Failure to launch: IRL Edition
Yeah, I’m torn because it’s probably due to the undiagnosed adhd but any number of steps we try and put in just doesn’t help her.
She’s always late for work too
He told her he was going to call the cops if she didn't leave, that's why she left in the end. But reading your and the other comments makes me realise that he is giving her way more leeway than it seemed to me at first… thank you for making me aware of this.
He was prescribed antidepressants for this? That actually seems a little concerning. He does not sound depressed and that can exacerbate other problems. What was his diagnosis from the hospital? Was there a trauma incident? Head trauma? Family history of psychosis?
You need to get him in to see an outpatient psychiatrist ASAP and possibly a neuropsychologist due to the onset, which he can get referred to from the psych. He needs an actual evaluation. I'm surprised this wasn't done at Kaiser or wasn't part of the follow-up plan.
If you can't do this, you may need to hospitalize him if his safety is at risk, and you need to be an active part of his treatment. Psych wards are not kind places, but he should be able to consent to having you as a visitor and to have access to medical records/speak to his clinicians (I'm not an expert on this — you need to ask someone at the hospital probably, and I think you should be his agent for POA type stuff as a spouse but you may need an official document there — also ask).
It seems like he needs comprehensive treatment, there is not a single pill answer to this.