Usually when you break up with someone that means you no longer want them in your life. You should've just let him go the moment you ended it because all you did was prolong his pain to the point that any positive feelings he had when you broke up with him turned into hate. Its never good to try and be friends until both people are completely healed.
Typically, when you break up, you stop giving each other gifts. It’s not odd to me that she didn’t get you anything—not even a card. You’re legally married but you’re no longer a couple.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through, OP. Your boyfriend is not reasonable at all. You just lost one of the most important people in your life, and he just wants his dick wet. Tell him 'bye bitch.'
A partner that loves you would help you get through this, not “punish” you.
At this point we are working on things very hot and trying to make things work, so I would assume (and we talked about this) communication is a big part of that.
Should I just not go? I also told him I'd just not go, that would be fine with me too and then he was like no please go! I'm just not coming with.
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If the tags weren’t on them and they weren’t the right size, they were either used (gross) or he’s cheating. I would confront him and ask him why there were no tags if he just bought them? Most people keep tags on gift clothing in case it needs to be returned
Has he “forgotten” any other occasions? Is he dropping the ball in other areas too, aside from child care?
If this is a pattern of behavior for him, and he's being inconsiderate in other areas after it's been explicitly laid out to him, then you have to seriously think about your options moving forward.
If this the straw that breaks the camel's back, I would highly suggest trying couples therapy, or at the very bare minimum, getting yourself some individual counseling. 10 years is a long time, and you have a baby together. If you decide you aren't going to put up with it, make sure you have additional supports in place for you and your baby.
And you nailed it on the head with him knowing better, this young OP doesn't know. But also same, so uncomfortable. But I wouldn't get offended if my partner asked either.
If you don't want to say explicitly, why not go shopping with her and suggest it and see her reaction? That way you can see how uncomfortable or open she is to it.
I think you should talk to her not as your wife, but as mother to your children. That behaviour is poor character and reflects badly on how to handle problems with other people (going all out to destroy someone’s life because of something so trivial? Certainly there’s a better way to manage that anger/hate).
If that doesn’t work out then you need to re-think your options on living in that family and also what is best for the kids. It’s between raising kids with wrong values vs a divorced parents. So yeah.
From my perspective it is you girls who are creating a toxic and hostile environment. Reporting this case to the HR would actually make you look crazy. He does not have to be friends with you, it is completely fine to stay colleagues.
I don’t understand the obsession with him specifically though. He is doing his job and communicating work related stuff with you guys. It’s even possible he had bad experiences being nice with female colleagues.
Yeah they're aware, I would hope this wouldn't devolve into taking sides but i just know how it usually goes when anyone, not just me, tries to be sincere with her in a difficult way. It becomes everyone's issue.
You don't get to be mad at someone for not being a mind reader. If you wanted him to pick you up and take you to grab your laptop, you should have told him.
She moved 100 miles away to a new life that only lasted 48 ish hours. The dude from her job/training only wanted sex not a full blown relationship and you as back up pitcher can fill in until the next new shiny dude comes along rinse and repeat!! Do not engage her nonsense, she has shown how much she valued you and the relationship she voted with her feet. She is not a long term option she lives a 100 miles away what has truly changed in the 48hrs that produced the massive perception shift. Why is she so sure and committed now! All signs point to a huge dose of reality in whatever form it hit. Find a person who really values you!
Thank you. We have a housekeeper already actually, and I actually have a membership at a local massage place that is really good. But I’ll see what she is up for, you’re right that she may just want to sleep and do nothing.
Some people like the colour blue more, some the colour red. That doesn't mean that their is anything wrong with blue or red. You havent been his favourite colour. But you are your husbands one. That's what counts
The part where you said “yeah I’m not gonna bother reading all that” before you edited your comment to remove that for some reason? Seems like you knew exactly what part was snarky ?
Nevermore.
Usually when you break up with someone that means you no longer want them in your life. You should've just let him go the moment you ended it because all you did was prolong his pain to the point that any positive feelings he had when you broke up with him turned into hate. Its never good to try and be friends until both people are completely healed.
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That sounds like the best solution. You can relax in the environment and just take time to heal.
Otherwise it is just going to be an emotional Rollercoaster where they push you way past where you're ready to go.
It's Reddit, what did you expect? Lol
That's so gross. Tell Casanova to grow tf up.
Thank you. Thats makes a lot of sense.
Further proving my point?
Typically, when you break up, you stop giving each other gifts. It’s not odd to me that she didn’t get you anything—not even a card. You’re legally married but you’re no longer a couple.
He can't be trusted. I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry for what you're going through, OP. Your boyfriend is not reasonable at all. You just lost one of the most important people in your life, and he just wants his dick wet. Tell him 'bye bitch.'
A partner that loves you would help you get through this, not “punish” you.
At this point we are working on things very hot and trying to make things work, so I would assume (and we talked about this) communication is a big part of that.
Should I just not go? I also told him I'd just not go, that would be fine with me too and then he was like no please go! I'm just not coming with.
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If the tags weren’t on them and they weren’t the right size, they were either used (gross) or he’s cheating. I would confront him and ask him why there were no tags if he just bought them? Most people keep tags on gift clothing in case it needs to be returned
That’s what I’m thinking. Everyone is blaming her birth control but all that with the sheets and showers says something else.
You can do so so so so so so much better than this clown. Please dump him and find yourself a grown man.
Has he “forgotten” any other occasions? Is he dropping the ball in other areas too, aside from child care?
If this is a pattern of behavior for him, and he's being inconsiderate in other areas after it's been explicitly laid out to him, then you have to seriously think about your options moving forward.
If this the straw that breaks the camel's back, I would highly suggest trying couples therapy, or at the very bare minimum, getting yourself some individual counseling. 10 years is a long time, and you have a baby together. If you decide you aren't going to put up with it, make sure you have additional supports in place for you and your baby.
And you nailed it on the head with him knowing better, this young OP doesn't know. But also same, so uncomfortable. But I wouldn't get offended if my partner asked either.
If you don't want to say explicitly, why not go shopping with her and suggest it and see her reaction? That way you can see how uncomfortable or open she is to it.
Wrong sub
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This sub is for relationship advice to a specific situation between two or more people
I think you should talk to her not as your wife, but as mother to your children. That behaviour is poor character and reflects badly on how to handle problems with other people (going all out to destroy someone’s life because of something so trivial? Certainly there’s a better way to manage that anger/hate).
If that doesn’t work out then you need to re-think your options on living in that family and also what is best for the kids. It’s between raising kids with wrong values vs a divorced parents. So yeah.
From my perspective it is you girls who are creating a toxic and hostile environment. Reporting this case to the HR would actually make you look crazy. He does not have to be friends with you, it is completely fine to stay colleagues.
I don’t understand the obsession with him specifically though. He is doing his job and communicating work related stuff with you guys. It’s even possible he had bad experiences being nice with female colleagues.
Lonely is better than beaten or dead. You are 19, believe me, you will meet plenty more people. Ditch this abuser.
Yeah they're aware, I would hope this wouldn't devolve into taking sides but i just know how it usually goes when anyone, not just me, tries to be sincere with her in a difficult way. It becomes everyone's issue.
You don't get to be mad at someone for not being a mind reader. If you wanted him to pick you up and take you to grab your laptop, you should have told him.
She moved 100 miles away to a new life that only lasted 48 ish hours. The dude from her job/training only wanted sex not a full blown relationship and you as back up pitcher can fill in until the next new shiny dude comes along rinse and repeat!! Do not engage her nonsense, she has shown how much she valued you and the relationship she voted with her feet. She is not a long term option she lives a 100 miles away what has truly changed in the 48hrs that produced the massive perception shift. Why is she so sure and committed now! All signs point to a huge dose of reality in whatever form it hit. Find a person who really values you!
Do you enjoy this drama in your life? Just break up. I promise you he’s not worth so much headache.
Since the dawn of time.
Leave it alone. If it's a safety hazard, or breaking laws/codes, call the city.
Thank you. We have a housekeeper already actually, and I actually have a membership at a local massage place that is really good. But I’ll see what she is up for, you’re right that she may just want to sleep and do nothing.
Some people like the colour blue more, some the colour red. That doesn't mean that their is anything wrong with blue or red. You havent been his favourite colour. But you are your husbands one. That's what counts
Does he want to do this? Or does he want to keep his house?
The part where you said “yeah I’m not gonna bother reading all that” before you edited your comment to remove that for some reason? Seems like you knew exactly what part was snarky ?
How did you manage to go a year and a half without talking about this??
Honey, a good therapist can help you open up communications with your wife. Love doesn't have to be like this.
I think he'd find it a very sweet gesture if you're trying to learn his native language.