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Date: October 8, 2022
Yes my wife told me in the past she only watched lesbian for that reason. I was trying to find other creators outside of that to explore different things but i will check it out! thank you!
Help him start a business
I second thus. Boundaries are one thing and usually a good thing.
But at the same time, at some point you have to let a relationship progress into new territory. There are some things worth exploring and discovering before marriage, and this can reveal things that are either good or bad about your partner as a potential spouse.
You, with your current boyfriend in addition to the ones in the past. What else did you think that meant
Oh no, random internet stranger said my joke wasn’t funny. What ever shall I do?
Red flag.
No job-no income -finacially abuse slowly slide in between – totally disaster. 33 F, personal horrible experience.
Talk with him get to know his real thoughts, if he insists, then leaving would be better.
Good luck.
Get rid of the boyfriend. He doesn’t even sound like boyfriend material (incredibly selfish and not trustworthy). Let him stay on the opposite coast and you keep your space with your fur babies and let them have their zoomies, the zoomies are the best part! Are your cars neutered/spayed? They will eventually calm down a bit and hopefully grow out of the “missing the box”.
Why would you want to be with someone who thinks standing up for your morals and what’s right is “radical” and you’d have to be “brainwashed” to do it ?
I’m concerned then by what views he must hold
I wish I got that text about my ex. But I probably would have been in the same situation as you, questioning it. Open your eyes to the signs! If you see anything that points into that direction, don't find excuses for it. It's just weird to me someone would go out of their way to warn you if this man is heavensent.
He created the situation by asking you to either get rid of a bonded cat, or to break-up. He gave you no option to compromise.
Maybe she's insecure cause you've never given her the position she wants in your life?
Stop posting on Reddit and leave.
You have only met 3 times in 13 years? Yikes. Why are you wasting time with someone you never see? This is not a serious relationship on either side.
You are not put on this earth to make him whole.
Say that as many times as you need to.
If he can’t make the changes on his own, then he needs to consult someone who he cannot manipulate or influence.
The biggest problem is that people in his situation are really bad at self-reflection and objectivity, which are the two really basic elements required to make significant change.
If he’s not interested in the accountability and schedule of seeing a therapist, he’s not genuinely looking for change.
I'm sorry. Your edits don't make it clearer what advice you are actually looking for, since all of them is also concerning weight.
Could you elaborate more on what advice you are seeking?
This reminds me of when my now husband spent our first Christmas together. I got him a video game I thought he’d enjoy. A few days later we went to Best Buy together and he was about to buy the same video game. I ended having to tell him I already got it for him because he was adamant he wanted to buy it. Lol
Does he realise nobody else got any sleep either?
It's called emotional blunting it can happen on antidepressants. The options are a lower dose or a different medication. But no if she's got that side effect isn't just going to go away after say 6 weeks.
She obviously needs meds but it doesn't mean the current ones are a right fit for her
Unfortunately there’s no way to move on so easily. But you have to think about yourself. If he doesn’t care about taking it a step further then what’s the point in trying? You seem like a lovely person who wants to care for him but he doesn’t feel the same way. You should at least try and find someone who’s willing to give you the same back. Even though it’ll be hard talking to anyone else when you have feelings for him. Also that is quite a large age gap, no judgment. Think about yourself because the longer you talk to him the more you’ll grow to like him so it might be best to end it asap.
So, yes there are hills that you die on but those hills are mutually established early on in how you as a couple deal with things and handle situations collectively. Yes there are trivial things that need to be looked over but you should never concede ground or agree to something you dont actually agree with AND you shouldn't let your partner do that either. Have the hard talk. Learn to compromise.
Things like this have long build ups, and if you or your partner is conceding ground that they don't fundamentally agree with you can definitely expect that to be a check in the long term resentment box. Because you have essentially defeated your partner. That's not something you want to have to unpack in 10 years. Always be willing to compromise AND be willing to have the discussions to learn how to compromise.
Cheater, cheater…. jinkies, for the love of any ethical based religious system, please tell Bob that you've been cheating on him. Use that specific word: “cheating”. Thanks, have a lovely day.
Yeah, I think you’re being a bit dramatic. I don’t mean this condescending at all, but try a social media hiatus. There’s more to life than likes and swipes.
Means being silly and friendly, in a kiddish way
At least that's my meaning with it
I really wish I could go back and tell my younger self this, “run! His exs are not crazy.” When someone tells you they had crazy Xs it is often them that drove them to it.
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It's not part of your BF's duties to comfort you while you gripe about slights real and imagined. Depending on the frequency and length of these grievance airing sessions that shit gets old quickly.
What's he supposed to say,?
“I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that dunderhead in the Subaru cutting you off. It's a wonder you didn't take a personal day to deal with the horror of it all. And then your coworker said a thingy that might have been passive aggressive, and I know you hate her. You showed unparalleled restraint in not beating your work B about the head and shoulders after such treatment. And your left shoe just won't stay tied which would be enough ruin just about anybody's week. But you've handled it in a saintly way. Maybe we should get you a spa day next week especially since your friend invited that non-work B to her birthday party even though she knows how much you hate that non-work B.”
Sometimes all you get is an ear and a “that sucks.” If you're overwhelming another person with a particular topic they might even try to change the subject.
Should she be obligated to go to events that are important to me?
No.
It's fine to want her there, it's fine to say “this is very important to me, I'd really value your support” and then drop it if she says no, it's fine to hope she would put up with a little boredom, but OBLIGATED? Nah.
You don't get to stamp your feet and say “As my girlfriend, you HAVE to do this for me.”
Out of interest, what did she do for the previous four years of this vital, can't-miss chip ceremony? And did you attend every year of your childhood, since it's been going on longer than you've been alive?
OP i hate to break it to you but do you seriously think she would have left you for him on the basis if just an emotional affair. She slept with him before she left. She is just telling you she didn’t because it doesn’t sound as bad.
They simply told him to block her and report her.
Presumably they were telling him to report her for revenge porn.
move back into my mother’s house and I’m highly considering it at this point.
If that's an option then please do so. Pack up your stuff and “go visit” your mum. There's no telling what people this unreasonable do you leave and they lose their control over you. Better to go for the “visit” story and break up once you're safely away. Text her bye and then ghost
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He’s been in a house that she says is hers. Might be her shag pad where she takes her fellas on the side.
Who the fuck decides to take a nap in a sketchy park in the middle of the night ?
I call bullshit
You're being downvoted but you're right. Even drunk it would be an extremely stupid thing to do
You have a fiance problem. Until she is ready to stand up to her family she is not ready for a serious relationship. Give her some time; get her to go to counseling to help her process their toxicity. In the meantime, lc and grey rock her family.
Maybe scented hand sanitizer? Just a guess.
I work at a surgical center. The women's locker room literally reeks when a very specific nurse comes in. And yes, it's dangerous for patients as they might react to the smell. She doesn't care. She must smell as good as she looks.
Why not schedule a relaxing couples trip? Lots of spas do couples packages. You could even schedule them together and do the treatments in seperate rooms so you can relax
Doesn't seem like he gets sadder. He gets distant and borderline abusive to you when you are sad or vulnerable. Hell of a red flag.
Yes, when you are forced to worry about how your reasonable emotions impact someone close to you instead of processing said emotions, it's not a good sign.
I wouldn't say he's overbearing but I definitely have more space requirements than he does – ie he would happily spend every night together but I definitely need to sleep alone at my own place sometimes, especially if I've spent a few nights in a row at his
Another fake post, this sub has gone to shit
OP he definitely dumped you. While you may have talked about threesomes, I think proposing a “free pass” really hurt him. Has he ever expressed his interest in opening the relationship or bringing other people in? Was he enthusiastic about the potential threesome you had talked about?
I'm wondering if he just wasn't comfortable with that at all but didn't voice his opinion directly to you. Perhaps you asking for a free pass was the final straw that convinced him you two weren't compatible.
I can certainly see someone who is monogamous minded would have a problem with you asking for a free pass. I know if my bf asked me for a free pass I would be hurt because we agreed to be monogamous.
That being said, I think it was kind of immature for him to completely ghost you. He could have at least had a conversation with you explaining his discomfort and also feelings that he didn't feel you two were compatible.
As you don't have any information or family contacts, there's not much you can do. Take this as a lesson learned.
I'm not putting this all on you. He should have communicated his discomfort and feelings if he thought you two were incompatible. But do you also want to be with someone who can't communicate these things to you?
It sounds like you thought things were going well and that you two communicated well.
Mom here. First. Start by not putting yourself down. If you don’t think I are good enough for him, why would he? Every time you catch yourself thinking badly about yourself, tell your brain to shut up because you are amazing. Seriously. Do this. Second. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You don’t want to be a casual hook up so don’t be. You will never get what you want if you don’t ask for it. If you act like a casual date, that’s what you will be. Don’t settle. The worst that can happen is that he doesn’t feel the same way. You putting your feelings out there probably won’t change that but what if he is interested and you let your self esteem issues stop you from being honest. Third. If you want more than casual then don’t settle for a casual hook up. It will just end in pain. So. Tell him that you have developed feelings and see what happens. We always expect the guys to do the asking but that’s really unfair. It’s hard. You face rejection. Even in these supposedly forward thinking times, it’s still on the men to face that rejection more often than not. Be honest. Tell him. And tell yourself that you are absolutely fabulous and any man would be lucky to call you his partner.
When you do, show him this reddit post. That should cut off his “sacrificed everything” martyr complex right at the knees.
No but I can’t we didn’t make the best of it. Good night sweetheart
I know people who work in high stakes positions. I'd believe that someone wanted to take him out. He may not be the only one. They bank on him keeping quiet. Who would risk it? There are law enforcement departments that specialize in this type of extortion.
I've seen variations of this scam, but the seems personal. How much did they want? USD? Bitcoin?
if you know then why haven't you done it? Instead of coming on here and asking strangers what to do. Also, it still kind of feels like you're trying to paint your wife as the bad guy here with all her nagging. Pay a therapist to hear you rant
It’s ok, in the last post the friend was disabled but in this post OP has changed it to OP is sleeping with the groom. Gotta keep changing the bait!
Help I’m dating an immature girl and she’s acting immature!! Date someone your own age and she will have the emotions maturity to deal with other women on your fb. Her reasoning that you don’t understand is that she’s only 19. By the time she is 27 and she’s dated a few guys she will know more about herself and wont be insecure.
Lol we are broken up? I’m not having any real w him
Why are you looking to dig your own grave here? You're nuts.
Do you own your house or is it a rental? Is she on the lease?
You need to set a time line for when she has to move out. Or else it doesn't sound like she's going to make any real efforts to leave and will try to keep pushing for sex as a way to “hook” you to let her to stay because it's easier for her than finding a new place to live!.
Grab your stuff from the apartment and keep her on read. and be done with it. Move on. Find someone else.
A is definitely true but B definitely not true, a good therapist is very differentiated about the situation and doesn't take either person's side and just analysis it from a neutral perspective. As you said you do not believe in leaving marriage so I think if you are able to do it financially even if you don't have a session every week (maybe every two weeks) it would be very beneficial for you, so I'd try to have a sit down talk with him
He posted a video of her getting her back cracked and she sent an sms saying “I am glad your butt was on the video and not mine ?”. Is the video was a close up of his rear!
Basically he doesn’t want me to see anyone else.
Yeah, so that's a big no on open or poly relationships. I personally I feel that it works best when both parties are starting the relationship with open/poly in mind and not suddenly sprung up and tried to use as a fixer to one's relationship. Also in open/poly both parties should set boundaries, but be allowed to see others.
Honestly it sounds like this guy wants a pass to cheat and eat his cake with you too.
“hey, about last week…being open…how are we or i doing?
-because YOU want the input. The guidance. You are the one not very open so YOU position this so he has the “lead”.
Normal people will open up and have this conversation because it is growing. Its maturing the relationship.
Can he do his degree part time? If so any help you can give may be a big help in that regard
Personally I think college is way more valuable than a baby. One is an investment in his future, the other is an investment in the baby’s future. I know which one I would choose…
If you are willing/able to take care of the baby and the ex is ok with that, I think it would be a very kind thing to do and he would appreciate it for the rest of his life.
Also if he doesn’t take this chance now he is not likely to go very far in life. Sorry to all the teen parents out there, but it’s a shitty life. He’ll probably be working dead end jobs til the kid moves out and then he’ll be years behind his peers in the work force and will have no hope at achieving much of anything. It would be one thing if all he wanted to be was a dad, but most people want more out of life than that.
Ah, this is one of those permanent “breaks”
Get a pren. Even better, don’t marry until he behaves in a secure way. It would likely end poorly.
You need to address the problem. Don’t joke about it and don’t treat it like ‘our’ money. He’s not showing enough stability for that.
Can he realistically handle not ever making as much or having as much? You both need to know. It may change in the future but he needs to be okay either way. Not hope he will be but know he’s mentally handling it.
Maybe couples counselling would help? Have a third party ask questions.
Don’t get into funding his business. It’s probably unwise because you become a business partner and if it fails or goes sideways you both have extra resentment.
Talk about how you see both your lives. How you both want to handle money, goals, children, future. What you both want from the relationship. Are you really both on the same page? Talk it out.
Well then you can go one of two ways. You can call him out on that, but that goes against your specific request about making it nice. If you want to call him out, then call him out. There’s just not going to be a nice way to say it, and if that’s what you’re doing this for, why do you care to be nice? But if You do want to be civil, use what I said
Well then you can go one of two ways. You can call him out on that, but that goes against your specific request about making it nice. If you want to call him out, then call him out. There’s just not going to be a nice way to say it, and if that’s what you’re doing this for, why do you care to be nice? But if You do want to be civil, use what I said
You might look into relational ocd?
that's rape
Sorry I didn’t say before.
Currently no he hasn’t touched alcohol in over a year and he didn’t drink at all yesterday. It was an on and off thing where it’s be excessive then it’d stop for a few weeks then back again. Once he left the job he was at, it got better, he had long hours and didn’t see us a whole lot either so not sure if it just made the perfect storm. He tried to drink occasionally and only have 1 or 2 beers, but he would just crave more so he stopped completely.
Especially a go**amn 34yo? Ok sure it sucks for someone to “move on” so quickly but what do you expect when you cut the relationship off???
Just my opinion, but it's bothering you because you officially like him and you are trying to deny it to yourself. Yea it sounds to me like you definitely like this guy and half your foot out the door as far as your relationship goes.
I had this happen to me once but It was because my boyfriends (at the time brk up 10 yes ago) friend had all the qualities, traits and beliefs that my boyfriend at the time didn't have but that I wanted (My bf at that time was an abusive monster. His friend was caring and considerate and treated and acknowledged me as a person)
Nothing happened. The whole thing was one way anyways. I like him and he and my ex were like TIGHT asf together so there was no way that would ever even happen.
But for your situation, from what you have said, is ot sounds like he is taking interest in you.
The last thing I'm gunna point out is this.
A different guy I dated for 2years and lived with ended up leaving me for a mutual friend he had been talking to.
We were in couples counseling already, I stopped having sex with him, and one day out the blue he just tells me it's not working out and I have 1 month to move out.
I ask if there's another woman he says no.
Come to find out him and our mutual friend decided together that they wouldn't pursue eachother officially until I was moved out bc they felt that that would be 'wrong' otherwise
Hmm how thoughtful.
Whatever you do sister, don't be that fucking person who hides the 'real' reason for why they want to end the relationship.
If you and this guy get together be fucking honest with your boyfriend about it. It's not just about you and it's a chugging shitty thing to do
I'm glad I found this comment after reading OP's post, great stuff!
I'd like to add something I've found extremely helpful from my own experience related to point 2: I think he should pick a safe word, and you should both practice it.
Safe words way too often get looked at for as something kink related, or with the light of “we can read each other we don't need one”. Even with a hypothetical safe word in place, a partner might be scared to use it due to “ruining the fun/romance”. This leads to the same uncomfortable guessing!! But safe words allow you to pause without thinking about how to gently stop things–not thinking being key.
Safe words are to make both people FEEL SAFE, no matter what's going on. They're not panic words.
I've found amazing success in forcing myself or my partner to practice a safe word before anything gets crazy. This is to train both of you exactly how to react and what will happen so you actually feel safe saying it to your partner when overwhelmed.
My suggestion would be as you start kissing, take a turn or two saying your safe word while you still feel okay. It's okay to stop! Immediately pause and reaffirm each other. Then continue–or not. Just my two cents on what I've found works in similar situations.
THIS IS THE COMMENT & DIALOG!
This comment needs to get boosted higher up. He is batting zero for no effort.
Yeah I guess that’s just the hard part. I know it’s just gonna take time, but I’ll get there. Thanks for the advice!
Nah. He won’t leave because he knows I’m trying to change.
Actually OP said they don’t have a problem with thinking about committing crimes (auto theft).
Stop enabling his financial abuse. Sit down with a list of home finances and show him how much you expect him to contribute. If he won't get rid of him.
What are you trying to do here? Cut off his outside activities?
Not romantically no. Excited about the prospect of being friends though.
but have a binding commitment to Friend 2 bc I am a MOH.
No you don't. Her poor planning caused this issue, and you don't owe her. Go to friend 1s wedding.
I'd never have married someone like that.
That's toxic AF.
Because i know it would hurt sleeping next to him knowing he’s slept with someone else.
This is a pretty big indicator that opening up the relationship so he can essentially cheat on you to experience what it's like being with a man is not gonna work out. If he wants to explore that and you aren't comfortable with it, then you guys need to break up.
I put his wants first
This is incredibly unhealthy behavior. It's absolutely fine to fulfill someone's wants, but not at the expense of your own mental health. Does he ever put your wants first? How often do you go along with things that you're uncomfortable with just so he can get what he wants? How often do you put yourself second? Your wants and desires are just as important as his. And if you don't feel that they are, then you would do well to get into therapy.
him not helping me face HIS feelings
You can't force someone to face their feelings. You cna try all you like, but at the end of the day, he's got to want to do it. And I really honestly think you should be focusing on your own feelings because your post points to a codependent attachment to this guy and it's not healthy.
Dude you’re not helping, you gotta talk to him like a person not a bitch.
You can be brutally honest but don’t make someone who’s feeling bad worse. Guide them to a solution, help them while they are lost.
That makes more sense, but you may be be misreading what’s going on.
Is someone better at sex because they’ve had a lot of partners, or does having a lot of partners increase the likelihood that one of them said “that’s awful, not like that, like this.”?
Not saying you owe hookups a teaching session, but also, why hook up with someone if you don’t want to have a good time? And if you need to tell them what to do to have a good time, just tell them what to do.
But to the more important question: again, if you’re going in to this thinking about the sex might be bad and that you don’t want to deal with that, then don’t go into it at all. You’re setting the relationship up for failure with that approach. Sex is often bad at the beginning, but it gets better the more you practice with another person.
RemindMe! 15 days
Finally the proof that all those “Enlarge your penis” pills works!
You disagree with every response you get so why are you spamming?
If I was looking and everything else meshed well? Sure.
Hug them and love them and look into their eyes. One time, I was so homesick that I drove home and sat on my mom's lap and we sang “Brahm's Lullaby.” Do whatever you need to do.
I don’t think his love has conditions per se
It does, but that's not a negative thing. Romantic love should have conditions. The idea of romantic love as unconditional is deeply unhealthy and traps people in relationships they'd be better off leaving.
If someone demands for sex this earlier in a relationship, and even threatens to break it off over him not getting sex, then its clear to day that he doesn't love you and is after your body. Once he gets it, its over.
Dont give in to him, break it off first. No actual reasonable person is going to pressure their partner in to sex like this.
Here is the answer. “Byeeeee ! Have a nice life asshole”.
I lost him at black cat to his golden retriever energy, wtf is that. She probably got overwhelmed.
You were only sleeping together but he was jealous and you were head over heels for him?
Was he sleeping with anyone else? Because your answer lies in the answer to that.
I find it incredibly suspicious you seem to have hidden the fact that you were sleeping with others and even said in your post this was the part you were scared about telling him.
Seems like you know exactly the sort of relationship you two were in but only you didn't want to be exclusive, and then you didn't tell him (if he thought you were exclusive, this is called “cheating on him for 4 years”). But once again, if he was also sleeping around then he is deeply hypocritical and doesn't have the right to get angry here.
If the answer to the above is as I expect, I don't think you'll be open about it on a public forum like Reddit. So, in advance, my advice is to ponder on and try to understand how you hurt him and come to terms with the fact that what you did was hugely betraying and mean.
If he's just a hypocrite, break up with him because he has no right to shame you for activities he also participated in at the time.
INFo: how long are you together? Sorry if you’ve said it somewhere, it’s a big post lol
Okay. Trust me, I mean this in a nicest way possible, but this was soul sucking just to read. I promise you, no one would put up with this, she can be peachiest peach when you’re good, but honestly, how long does it last?
If you’re not aware. This IS abuseive relationship. You’re loosing yourself dude. I am so sorry that you’re going trough this alone, since she completely isolated you and made you think that keeping shut about this is going to benefit you, actually it only benefits her. There was literally no one to tell you that this is actually pretty extreme. There is a reason why you barely hear from your only 3 friends that you’re basically allowed to have, and the reason is her.
I REALLY hope you listen to what people are telling you here. This is not healthy in any way. She should be in therapy. You need to leave, you’re just 27 years old, you’re gonna lose yourself completely. She’s gonna cry, she’s gonna beg, tell you how she will change and god knows what not, but hey, let’s be honest, you and I both know that the damage is done.
Because her only motivation to do those things is because I did them. Not because she’s actually interested in them or would have done them on her own. Have you ever been around someone that absorbs your personality? Someone we work with says we laugh exactly the same. She’s literally changed her laugh to match mine. It’s weird and would be to anyone. I don’t know the reasoning or why she does it which is why I posted here
It’s not so much about the age gap that my parents have a problem with. That’s what they’re saying this time, but historically they’ve held the ‘No one is good enough for our daughter’ stance so I don’t expect anyone I bring back to be liked. Boyfriend is very understanding about it but I just worry how he’d take it on the day. But thanks for the advice 🙂
Hey do not stay in this marriage for your kids sake! My parents stayed married for WAY to long because of me and my siblings. We all could tell they didn't love each other, hell they hated each other even at times.
So please don't stay with your wife just because of your kids. There is nothing wrong with coparenting.
Tbh my mind went more to other vices rather than cheating. It’s entirely possible it’s nothing at all but no matter what you say, his work hours are not normal for active duty. Especially given that he wants to leave, something else is going on.
Thanks for this perspective. Been second and third guessing myself over this. Just wanted to know if I was being in the wrong for feeling the way I am. Getting my ish together as we speak…
Our culture greatly stresses the involvement of family in our marriages. I want my family to be involved in our marriage and they want to be involved as well . I just don’t want my father to be part of it but if he doesn’t approve, the rest of my family cannot participate in good faith which is why my fiancé wants me to talk to him ….
I'm sorry, hun. He's a dochebag. Just avoid him at all costs and maybe seek therapy. You’ll find someone who appreciates you. Also, consider this a lesson not to shit where you eat.
Talk to me again in 17 years, haha.
I read it. You’re giving a lot of detail about what has happened since they ghosted you but not much at all about what happened leading up to them ghosting you other than that their dog died. But they only ghosted you. Clearly this person wants nothing to do with you for some reason. You seem to be more interested in venting and getting sympathy than getting advice. Which is understandable when you’re frustrated. Everyone needs to vent sometimes. But not really the purpose of this subreddit.
just leave him
Boyfriend (20f)?
Omg it isn't that deep. She is tripping. If she wasn't flirting she could of said just said so or just agreed if she was flirting. My lord…the senseless drama people create is laughable.
You definitely need a new therapist. You should install cameras around your property. Do not answer the door anytime they show up. Document everything and try to get a restraining order. When it’s time for the birth of your baby let security, doctors, nurses and friends know they aren’t wanted and do not let them in.
When he left I went into his room and just walked and looked around because I’m hardly ever in it and just wanted to see..
This is weird. 2 years together and you've barely even been inside his room?
She’ll be getting a new doctor next month as we’re moving to a new city so maybe they’ll have new opinions. I’ve offered to go with her to get some tips, but she understandably would prefer to go alone. Would a sex therapist be better for this or do we just need to find a sex positive gyno for her?
Your girlfriend is not required to tell you her every single move. It's creepy and controlling that you expect her to update you with everything she does.
He is way too old for you. And he is too old to have more children too. You have your whole life ahead of you and you can and will find someone that wants the same things that you do.
This time you've got to pretend that you're your own daughter and not let people treat you how you wouldn't want your own daughter who you've raised all these years to be treated.
Yeah, you are right. It would be better if I just tell her, but the thing is that my gf hated Nicol at start of our relationship and I don’t want to ruin it. Gf is okay with her now.
Maybe I’m insane but why is everyone implying that the pregnant person is insisting on being accommodated?
Its reddit and they hate pregnant women,
Nowhere here did i read anything other than the married couple to be want this person at their wedding and are sad that all their plans aren't something they're comfortable having a pregnant person do.
I'm so, so sorry OP, but your wife is 10000% cheating on you. She doesn't love you anymore, she doesn't want to fight to keep you, so please don't fight a one-sided battle for one-sided feelings. She clearly stated she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore, she's putting the responsibility to end things on your shoulder so she doesn't have to pull any weight.
You deserve so much better, OP. Please leave this woman who doesn't want you, you still have much to live!.
Im sorry for what you are going through. I know, (been there, done that) that you want to try to save your marriage. Seeing as how she felt like she does BEFORE you got married would be very alarming to me. She married you KNOWING she doesnt love you. It doesnt get any more dishonest or manipulative than that.
I would look into an annulment if you can. If not, give her the divorce she wants.