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Room for live! sex video chat himari_jp
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Date: January 7, 2023
I mean, I'm almost 40 years old and my dad is not the type to have drinking buddies. But if that's where your mind goes, that's on you.
I went no contact with my mother. My sister tried to “reconcile” us by pressuring me. I went no contact with my sister. Neither of them have seen my children since they were babies. My mother died last month and it didn't change how I felt about my decision in the slightest.
Do not get involved if you want to be part of her life. Do not tell her you can see where he's coming from. His side is twisted and unfathomable. He disowned his child because she didn't want the career he had?! He disowned his child because she fell in love with a soldier from an allied country?! What do you find so understandable? Just the fact that he wants to see the baby? Tough. That was always the outcome of his actions. He did this. She owes him nothing but contempt.
She entertained the idea which means she would have… find somwone better this girl will hurt u in the end and obviously doesnt think as highly of u as u do her. U deserve better
Can you encourage someone to participate in an affair? She is 33, she made that choice on her own.
Girl what the fuck. How do you go from “my 31 year old husband repeatedly tried to have sex with my barely legal sister” to “we're trying to make it work”?????
I was with you until you said THAT.
You don't make this work. You don't get over this. This is not a forgivable thing no matter how much he blubbers and cries about having to experience the consequences of being a disgusting pathetic shit of a human being.
He will not get better, he will always be this gross shitty human. Dump him.
Your friend is an idiot. You boyfriend explained why he doesn't think you should do coke. If you already have anxiety he is absolutely right in advising you to stay away from it.
It sounds like the two of you aren’t compatible. You really have only known her for 6th months. It sounds like she was able to hide a lot of truths about herself because of the distance.
Be honest with yourself: do you see a long term future with the person you’re learning about?
You're 30 not 13, that's fine.
He already knows that with all of his issues that he should quit smoking, his current lifestyle is very stressful especially his job. He will probably know all this. Plus yesterday his mum who has to be the centre of attention was continually texting him saying she has terminal stomach cancer so his brother was having to ring her to see what was what.
We know his mum has got bowel & colon cancer but she was having treatment & responding so that was a new one & yes she would be like that with him in hospital because that is what she is like…..
I see both sides of this one. Yes, we should be able to have honest conversations with our partners. But also, it CAN be a sensitive subject, and the moment you say you're not as attracted as you used to be, regardless of the reason!, thats what she's going to hear, and it's going to put a damper on things.
So here's where I suggest you START. Ask her if she has a few minutes to talk. Say you're not quite sure how to talk about this, but that you want to be able to have open communication between you two. Then say you have noticed the change to more fast food, and that she has gained weight. Say you “want to know if you should have a reason to be concerned.”
Ask Should I be worried about you emotionally? Do you want to start planning healthy meals together or taking walks? Did you change birth control or any medications? I know you said you're happy with the way you look, but I also want to make sure you're feeling OK, both emotionally and physically. Like, is there anything going on that I should know about, and if there is, then I want to make sure we're communicating, and that I'm here to support you if you need.”
THEN, depending on what all she says…cuz this is where you really listen to her before you continue…THEN if she has a problem or issue, you focus on that, and how you can be supportive. If in doing that over time she loses the weight, be supportive and compliment how great she looks, that she seems to be doing better since …(whatever changes were made to address whatever the issue is)…and its looking really good on her, and how does she feel?
And as that continues and she gets back down to where you find her attractive again (don't lie and say it before you feel/think it obviously) , you can tell her how attractive she is to you, and that you had been getting worried about her weight and her health. And note that you can't believe what a difference it makes, but that you find her SO much more attractive when she's “at this weight” or once she's lost the extra weight in her face again, or “fit and looking Ike when we first started dating again” or…whatever you find sexy and worth noting.
But I ask you to honestly think about WHEN you started to lose attraction for her too. Would she realistically have to lose 50 of that again to be sexy to you? Is that even realistic for her once you know the situation and her desires and goals around her health and lifestyle (both emotional and physical). Or will just 10 or 20 lbs make a difference? Are you invested enough in her as a person to take the time to approach this as a lifestyle change and address the whole issue? Or is it already too late for you, and there's too much that would need to change at this point. You'll have to consider everything that's going on once you know if there's an issue. And if you're realistically in it for the long haul or not. Or if you can be? If she's happy with where she's at now and there's “no problems”, or if ideally she'd be happy taking 10 of it back off and eating healthier or starting to take walks with you, but you know you realistically would need her to lose 4x that before you'd find her attractive time again, THEN its time for the harder conversation.
Whether that's a few months from now once you see if/how things are progressing, or as a second part to the initial conversation.. like if she says “Aw, thanks for your concern. But no, I'm good and there's nothing going on (which I'm doubtful of, but?). THAT'S when you move into “Well ok, good. I'm really glad to hear that. But then…and this is really hot…we have a different issue.” And thats when you can say you don't know how to say it, but that your “attraction for her is waning”. If she asks, or if you want to offer, you can absolutely mention the weight specifically. But she likely knows, especially if its an immediate talk right after the initial “I've noticed changes in your eating/fast food habits and want to know if I need to be concerned” talk. And if you feel like its headed for breakup, or that nothing is likely to change at that point, then its your call if you feel the need to specifically mention that more weight = less attraction.
Therr's honest, and compassionate. Then there's honest but blunt or brutally so. It may be a fine line between mentioning “waning attraction” and specifically saying “weight gain”. Read between the lines and you will likely be able to tell if she needs it spelled out for her, or if it would just be cruel. Watch her face to see if its a touchy subject for her and you can see she gets it, or if you think there's any purpose or good reason behind saying “weight gain” specifically. For some people its a much more sensitive topic than for others, andbi think you won't really know where she stands until you start having the conversation unfortunately. But you DO need to talk. And find that line between kind/tactful and honest/clear. And I think knowing IF there's an underlying issue that can and should be addressed FIRST, to see if that is fixable and then positive reinforcement and more specific conversations about how the weight specifically WAS a problem once she's back on better footing MAY be a more successful (and kinder?) route to go long term. IF you're willing to out in the time and effort, and think that her goals line up with getting back to a place you'd be attracted at again.
Complicated, but i hope that gives you some ideas inbetween “Be honest, tell her the weight is unattractive” (which could potentially kill the relationshipnright then and there), and “Dont say anything, she already knows.” Because I think you really do care for her.. But you can't just not address it. Good luck.
I don’t think the problem lies in her wanting some alone time. Not at all. As you said, alone time is definitely important.
Imo the problem here is that he’s being excluded from the group. The first time around they invited him, he didn’t go, they had a great time. The second time around they invited him again, he went, and they had a worse time. How’s it going to look if the 3 of them go away again and don’t invite him? It’s gonna make him feel like he’s a problem and that they don’t like hanging out with him.
He sounds juvenile. He might grow out of this.
You snooped. That’s a massive violation of her trust. You changed your settings as though she is just as untrustworthy as you are. Yes, you’re being petty.
Yep, and every abuser does that when the object of their abuse seems like they will leave. Once they see the manipulation worked, they escalate.
Best response so far. Thank you.
You used him as an emotional dump truck while he was deployed? And you’re upset that he told you he can’t handle it anymore. Gezz. What did your therapist advise?
What is she saying? That seems pretty relevant here.
It’s unhealthy aa red flag for controlling behavior. My ex cheated on me. In 18 years I have never asked to go through my wife’s phone or computer.
shes not even on the pill
shes dumb as fuck thinking this will hold up long term
Lol you’re right. I appreciate the honesty! It’s easier than it sounds as he really talks his way out of it and or sits and mops like a child. Sometimes I feel like I’m dealing with a child more than an adult. But i’ll try it again
I hate to be the one that brings this up, buuuut….
Genetics. Chances are your son will have any mental disorders you two may have. And I know it sounds bad to say, but let me tell you from first hand experience: parenting a child with mental disabilities is so damn hot. You gave this poor kid a disorder and you can't do anything to help them. I feel like shit for having a child with my ex, when he has sooo many mental illnesses/developmental issues.
Your mother kind of has a point…
Exactly! That, and OP may be eligible for alimony. The wife's a user.
That’s a level of petty I could never imagine reaching.
Why would he say he’s not ready for a baby but do everything in his power to not buy protection or at least pull out ?? What did he think was going to happen?
The same reason you had unprotected sex with him when you’re not ready for a child. You both said you weren’t ready for a pregnancy and yet neither of you bothered with protection.
If having protection is a discussed and agreed on requirement for sex, then neither of you should’ve had sex when it became apparent that there was no protection.
Were you incapable of buying condoms when he failed to get them? I know you said you asked him to get protection, but when he didn’t, and you still had sex with him, you told him, through your actions, that he didn’t have to respect your wishes.
Sorry for the long winded post but I have no idea what to do and I’m not getting any help from him as his answer was he’s not ready? But it doesn’t make sense how he can say that to me after everything?
He’s not ready for a child and that isn’t going to change just because he got you pregnant. Why doesn’t it make sense? He doesn’t want a kid at this point in his life, so he’s doing everything he can to not be associated with the pregnancy.
At best, you can hope for co-parenting and child support from him. At worst, depending on your jurisdiction, he may be able to completely waive his parental right.
Your two options are termination or continue the pregnancy. If you are continuing the pregnancy, make sure you are capable of being a single parent. You can also look into adoption as an option if you chose to continue the pregnancy.
Don’t be shocked if her plan isn’t just an affair but rather to move back home with the kids and leave YOU
A jealous girlfriend? Because I don't want to have sex with a guy if he's in a relationship with another woman? I'm not sure how this makes me sound like a jealous girlfriend?
Would you want to have sex with a guy if he were in a relationship with another woman?
Unfortunately, there's some truth in this. And the more attractive you are, the more it'll be true. This is right up there with “if a guy wants a hug, he wants to feel you up”. Found out that was true in my later 20's (I was naïve).
So, yes, it can happen. You can have male friends, he can have female friends. Does he want to have sex with them? Probably some. Does that mean he will? No. As long as both your intentions (you and your bf) are good, then the trust can remain intact, and you both should be able to have friendships with the opposite sex.
Just don't be naïve about their possible intentions and be respectful to your BF. So, don't put yourself in “situations”, be respectful and demand respect from your friends and if you don't get it, don't continue the friendship. You both can have friends of the opposite sex.
I think I trust he doesn't want me to change, like he's said he wouldn't want me to dye my hair etc. I agree there's some red flags but I don't know to what extent their like super serious, if that makes sense? Thanks for the advice though
I honestly appreciate your input and perspective.
There was one time, about six months ago when he actually bought one weekend and essentially would disappear every hour or so for to do it. It was so blatantly obvious, but I also wanted to be in denial that he was doing it.
Then the next day, I confronted him, and he admitted to using it. He apologized and deleted the dealers number. But, just that day of him hiding away to do it was really frightening. I get flashbacks of him closing the door of his room or bathroom- pretending to do other things. Meanwhile he’s getting high.
I completely understand what you mean by wanting to do it to feel normal, because he’s an entirely different person when he’s on it. And perhaps I am over reacting because ever since then he only does it when it’s around but he will omit unless I explicitly ask him if he’s done it.
All in all, it’s just a crutch and it’s heartbreaking. Even with medication prescribed or a legal you can’t just cure ADHD. You have to continuously be moving toward healthy coping mechanisms that improve your life but like this… All I can think of is someone that’s lost control.
4 months in and all this crap? Nope.
But I also want to know why you don’t trust men. Is it because you yourself are not trustworthy ? If so, take a look in the mirror before your next relationship.
You need to cut your losses. This isn't going to fix itself. Break up with him and move on, so he can too.