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i miss him so much. i’m so alone in this apartment
I personally always hated mixing work with anything else, but in that case she would have been better off just telling you that. There are different worlds, and people at work have inside things that others don't understand. I feel like it would have been far better to not invite you at all and tell you why. Of course, this is just me and I'm not saying this is why she did this, just a possibility.
“Destroy them” is an extreme that doesn’t sound like they’ll have fun. You don’t have to LET them win either, but if you want to play again with them, make sure it’s fun lol.
You're not making any sense why would you be uncomfortable? If it's something that the other person wanted you to do with them?
You’ve treated Lilly like shit and fucked her over twice, and now you’re here talking about wanting to do it for the third time!
Hi and thank you for the advice.
Yeah I know that, it’s just very difficult. I did try to walk away at times but was called out on it and apparently used it as an excuse to get out of an argument. I wasn’t in the wrong every time just to clarify. But of course I know I was bad in the past and now getting help with it. It’s only day 2 of no contact and it’s eating me up.
You leave. He’s not just going to magically stop doing this ever. He thinks it’s a game and everytime you crawl back to him and beg him to talk to you, he gets what he wants and it just reinforces his behaviour. All this will do is lead to you walking on egg shells and trying not to set him off because as you say “it comes for seemingly no reason.” As someone who witnessed this bullshit behaviour, it’s never “no reason.” It will sound incredibly dumb because it is dumb but there is something that happened to him that was an inconvenience and either you did or didn’t do anything and now he’s upset about it. And get this, once you think you figured out what it is, you’ll still be wrong because it’ll be something so fucking dumb. It literally has nothing to do with you and he probably won’t tell you what it is anyway because he’s doing what kids do when they throw a temper tantrum.
I’ll give you an example. The “argument” that my parents had one day went as such. Dad was looking at houses in Florida. Mom walks into the room after a long day at work and dad says he wants to talk about these houses and she says “can we do it later? I need a nap.” He says something and says “in fact, you’re pissing me off.” Then walks out. Now from the context you’d assume the argument and the silent treatment was brought on by the prospect of him being excited about houses in Florida and her being tired and asking to deal with it later. Wrong. He revealed later that he was upset that my mom didn’t support him while he was going to night school to advance his career. He hadn’t been to night school in literal years……. safe to say my parents are divorced now and happier because they were incompatible that way which is fine.
I did too until I read OP's comments. His mother is a MIL from hell.
What a great turn of events since your last update. I am glad you did what you did and you likely saved his life. Sometimes it takes knowing when to step away from the person you love when you know they need to help themselves.
Please don’t self identify as “optimistic and hopeful” to excuse choices that should rationally be described as “somewhere more than naive but not obnoxiously stupid”.
Cause this is so fake
You didn't hurt your children, your wife did by having an affair. She broke the marriage vows, she broke the family, not you. She acted selfishly and by asking you to hide the affair from the family is also selfish, too, because she doesn't want her actions to negatively impact her relationships. She doesn't want to face the consequences. By allowing this, she gets to have her cake and eat it, too. If she didn't want her family to think poorly of her, she shouldn't have behaved poorly (cheated) in the first place. She decided that having a side-piece was worth risking her family. She gambling on you staying silent. Make it a losing bet.
OK. And do you guys have any set times where you do video calls or have virtual dates? Or are you just winging communication at this stage?
What are your reasons for staying? He doesn’t treat you well.
“I am not going. I’m getting divorced and I don’t want to join.”
Why does she care what they think?
Just…don’t go?
I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be insensitive but I just don’t understand why she cares what they say or do if she’s leaving the marriage anyway.
What are they going to “attack” her for? Id think they’ll be happy they can go just the two of them since they’ve been trying to push her out anyways.