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Date: September 21, 2022
Gently OP – you both need it individually. Together nothing is being resolved but apart you both may be able to get yourselves to a place where you can start putting the pieces back together.
It shouldn’t have been started in the first place , and yes it can still be stopped even after confrontation. He should have realized “oh shit , I forgot im a grown ass man and shouldn’t be fighting people in the street “
The other thing is that moving in together is a big test of the relationship. This could have some make or break implications… adding her to the title just before determining how you guys handle living together and sharing household responsibilities seems reckless at best.
HAHAHA. Thank you.
Yeah I agree totally with you but i don’t wanna be the reason for their break up.
Trust your gut. It’s never wrong. He left. Did he say why? Usually when they leave and then come back it’s because the person they left you for didn’t want them.
You also need to think about your future. If he walks out and you take him back you are telling him there is nothing you won’t forgive. Do you want to be with a man who cuts and runs when we he feels like it? Contact a divorce attorney.
Gifts are about the receiver. Not the giver. It’s one thing to be bummed your gift doesn’t get the reaction you hoped, but it’s a red flag that your girlfriend was upset about this to the point of being rude to your daughter over it.
Your minor daughter reacted graciously. Your girlfriend acted like a damn child.
Which means your opinion matters even less.
Things happen unexpectedly and no matter how much you plan things out…life happens and in your case literary. You just need to speed things up and move in sooner than you expected. I had a baby at 19… so you are not too young…nobody is ever prepared for parenthood …you just gotta do your best…you got this…you can make this work….
He'll reach out to you once he's ready to do so. Focus on your mental health for now.
You girlfriend is in a periode of bad self image and possibly a bit depressed.
She just wanted confirmation that you loved her and she is the most beautiful girl in the world for you – and you just became upset (understandably). I think you need to call her and tell her you are sorry that it did not work the right way but you love her a lot and started getting afraid that she did not like you.
Leave a lot of ❤❤and stuff. It would have been best if you could just go home to her but I do not know what the time is – but meet her tomorrow.
She’s expecting a lot after only 4 months of dating .
If your boyfriend supported you through your struggles, watched as you suffered and spent time helping you then I totally get it. First he won’t want to see you go through that again as he cares about you and second it’s exhausting supporting someone who’s struggling with mental health and depression. Even if you are 100% on board with helping someone you care about her better. It would be frustrating to go through all that with you, see you getting better then watching you choose yo put yourself in a situation that could very likely put you back in the state you were before. He’d probably continue to support and be there for you if it was things outside of your control that caused it. The fact that you are choosing to take this risk is probably extremely disheartening for him.
I know :p
It sounds like your wife needs a serious mental health intervention. Maybe she would benefit from a trial separation with the grounds she seeks help and I wouldn't let your kid stay with her during that time.
Yeah, I am aware it will cause damage to his mental health so I am trying to be careful with what I do. For me it’s not necessary to know about what his in his head (I will surely listen if he is willing to share) but more as how do I support him in this rough time. I don’t want to seem as if I don’t care but I don’t want to bother him too much. I find difficulty balancing between those two.
But you can do something now. Next time he contacts you just grey rock him. Give no details about your life, you're too busy to meet up, oh sorry thats happened to you. Offer no detail, no advice, don't engage.
Using the late friend for clout is disgusting.
You can do this so long as you chose your words carefully and tactfully. Don’t best around the bush and use a soft and loving tone. But if you let it ride the resentment will boil over. Explain that it’s a limited small party and there will be other inclusion in the future.
So? That's a 4 year friendship. It's even more of a normal friendship.
I must say I actually disagree with this advice. Although you are in a relationship now, it is very unlikely that you will be together in 5 years time and you will miss the chance of going to prom with your own friends. Would you consider going to get pictures taken together beforehand and maybe going to the after party together?
I think you are looking for a reason to be upset at her this is not about any of this really cause it happened 2 years ago, and it's honestly not that big of a deal like you keep repeating you weren't exclusive, so why are you really upset with her, you need to figure that out.
If I may ask, because I'm dumb with any sort of relationships or dating, what's the “tell” here that she's interested and not just friendly or comfortable with me?
It's kind of unprofessional. has nothing to do with work. A little flirty yes. Not real conversation ,
Ok
Im not sure how much I agree with your “Time to end the relationship” take. I personally believe its worth coming to a compromise. But I thank you for your opinion and insight
Loooooove bombing. A month and wants to marry you. Hahaha. Tf. The sex must be good though.
Why do you keep posting different versions of this?
She messaged saying that she knows a girl that he met on Dating app and followed her on instagram and he did that with multiple women while we are together.
And how is this cheating?
Whenever you smell it, just say sniff all around and say it smells like pee… you don't smell that?! I'm wondering ifnhes one of those randoms who starts putting pee on their hair or something.
If you don't want to just sya it, there are plenty if passive ways ti make it clear there is a smell. You don't have to say it's him. You can let him figure it out.
Something is definitely wrong. He should be excited to introduce you to them. I do agree with the commenters saying it sounds like he doesn’t like you.. it’s sounds super harsh but I don’t mean it in a mean way ? is there a reason you don’t on-line together yet? He could be hiding something bigger than not liking you/respecting you.
I think the argument that it’s hard to reply to such long voice messages is a good and valid one. No need to tell her you’re getting annoyed, just say you would prefer shorter voice messages about one topic so you can reply better and you’d love to talk about a lot of stuff when you call
It is understandable to miss your child when they move away, especially when they move far away. You say you do not want to control him, but you want him to think about you and take you into consideration. So that means you DO want to control what he does.
I get that cultures are different, but the fact he moved so far away and is not telling you about his life leads me to believe this is a case of “missing missing reasons”. It kind of reads like you have always been someone who wanted to control him and keep you as his top priority when that is just not realistic.
He has a family and a kid on the way. You are not his top priority and have not been for a while it seems like. I understand it is upsetting, especially seeing those around you with all their family, but you wanting him to change his job choice or place to on-line because of you is not reasonable.
What about looking into moving closer to him?
Here in the UK we have packs of 3, 6, 12 and then doctors offices/gay clubs have bowls of them.
I don’t mention my mom because I am tired of it. I’ve been dealing with this for 20 years. I’m exhausted. I’m at an empathy fatigue.
In her mental break downs she’s called me every name and insult in her book. She’s gotten physical many many times over the most trivial of things. Ex: I didn’t want to eat an apple that she bought. Also smashes everything inside the house including the TV, my electronics, the glass cabinet, etc when she’s upset.
This has caused me mental health issues too. Except I don’t mention it to them, even in a calm tone (like my msg to my dad) they’ll act mean, call me ungrateful, etc. I’m completely drained.
Also my dad does not care about my mom enough, he’s moved out himself because he can’t stand living with her but expects my underaged brother to deal with it alone when I’m at university.
And yes I’m upset at my dad because it’s plain rude.
guessing you were scaring the hoes
so why does he do that? like what is the psychological reason behind guys who act like this because a couple of his friends are the same….i like to know how people's brains work lol so im just curious re: your thoughts and thinking about ways i can avoid this next time because you are spot on.