I (26f) feel like my husband (30m) and I have had too many children and I’m starting to resent him for it. How do I stop that?

My husband and I have been married for about four and a half years. We have three daughters who are three years old, one year old, and our youngest is three months old. They're all fairly good children, but are all still at the age where they need lots of attention and help. This is really difficult with all three of them, especially when one of them gets upset. The eldest two eat well which I'm happy about but the baby won't feed and it makes everything so much worse. All I want is for her to, but she just won't most of the time. She's really fussy and cries a lot, which disturbs the others and upsets them. I tried taking her to the doctor but there wasn't anything wrong with her so I don't know why she's always so upset. She keeps me up at night, and it never stops.

Because I'm so tired, I had started mainly talking to our eldest daughter in my native language for the last months. This meant she started picking it up and now she'll talk in it. I really didn't mean to, but it means that when my husband talks to her, she'll often answer in it so he has trouble understanding what she means. He's angry at me about it, but I really didn't mean to do that. She's a smart child, I know that, but I never would have thought she would pick it up like that, and prefer to speak it.

My husband will also often want to have sex with me but I'm just so exhausted and I'm terrified of somehow becoming pregnant. I think my husband probably will want another one, but I couldn't possibly cope with being pregnant again right now. It's already all too much. But it makes him frustrated, and he'll say how he's working all day so I can stay and look after the children and I won't even touch him. But it's not him, it's all of the other factors that make me panic.

I'm just exhausted and tired of the constant crying and complaining and screaming. My husband doesn't seem to get that this is just too much, and that it's actually really difficult for me right now. I feel horrible being selfish, and I know I'm very blessed with three healthy children and I should be happy but it's really naked to be at the moment. I do everything I can to be a good mother to our children but it just doesn't seem to be enough. I can't even adequately feed our baby, I've caused one of our daughters to speak in the wrong language and it feels horrible. I don't want to resent my husband for all of this, but sometimes I do anyway and I feel awful about it. Sometimes I feel like I don't want any of this and he doesn't seem to understand how I feel.