I (38m) came across messages between my fiancé (38f) from the past that has me questioning going forward with engagement. Should I bring these up or drop it?

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I’ve been with fiancé for 5 years. Both would be on our second marriage. I left mine of 10 years due to infidelity from ex. It left some damage but hasn’t affected this relationship since there has always been trust (and therapy on my end). Hers ended because there was “no love left” in her words. I’ve never really gone that much into it because I haven’t really cared.

Cue this past weekend. My fiancé was having issues trying to recover pictures from an old phone. I have some experience doing this so I offered to try. I end up recovering some pictures, however there was also some old WhatsApp message on the phone that caught my eye while going through the data. I wouldn’t have looked if I didn’t already see parts of the text while going through everything else.

It was an exchange between an old high school friend that was at the time deployed in military. They were sent while she was married and pregnant . They were in my opinion pretty gross to be sending to someone while you are married/carrying someone’s child. Mostly things like “we should fuck” from him…… very thirsty obviously showing interest/pushing the issue. She didn’t shut it down at all and seemed to encourage it, even mentioning that she could “vacation “ where he was deployed. This was only 2 years prior to us getting together, 1 year before her divorce.

I stopped there and have been in a panic since. I want to bring it up because these messages seem to conflict with values I thought we shared and discussed. Also they were from before we even knew each other. I guess what I’m upset about is that she considered this acceptable while married. Also I stumbled across this and wasn’t seeking it out. Would it be wrong to even bring this up?

submitted by /u/throwRA_8587
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Date: April 17, 2024

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