I M28 slept with my wife’s younger sister F26. Have we ruined our family?

Ive ruined my life. I slept with my wife’s younger sister

Hi Im 28 (M) my wife who I’ve been with since I was 15 passed away from cancer 2 year ago. She was my best friend and such an amazing person. The absolute best. She made me a better person. Without her here I’ve felt so depressed.

Last weekend I got very drunk with my wife’s younger sister 26 (F) while hanging out and we ended up kissing and having sex without a condom. I fucked up. I betrayed my wife. I betrayed her family. And I feel disgusting, I am disgusted with myself for it being with her sister.

My sister in law and I have been really close since my wife passed as friends. We hang out weekly and talk on the phone daily. Shes been the person I can go to for hugs and to cry and talk about good memories of my wife. It’s never been anything romantic just a really good friend, a good family member. She so awesome.

My mother and father passed when I was in high school so my wife’s parents have been there for as parents figures since I was 15. They invite me to family dinners a couple times a month and treat like I was their son. I fear I’ve lost it all because they are gonna think I’m scum who slept with both of their daughters. And I know I deserve to lose them when they find out. I deserve their hate and not to be considered family anymore.

2 days ago I spoke to my wife’s sister and we were both apologetic about what happened. She went on to tell me that she has some romantic feelings for me and has them for about a year. She said she would only pursue them if I were comfortable with it. She started listing all the thing she thinks are great about me and we kissed again. I told her I needed space and time to think and she has been very respectful of that.

My wife was the only sexual partner i had ever been with so don’t know if that’s playing a role in my feelings. But yeah I like her and she makes me feel happy and she’s truly a good friend. I just see her as someone who is amazing, who is gonna be an awesome mom and wife to someone. She’s beautiful and I can’t look at her like a sister anymore even when I try.

I know my wife would hate me right now. I talked to my mother in law yesterday, who talk to about everything and I felt like a POS not telling her what happened with myself and her daughter. Now I’m a liar too on top of everything. The worst part is yes i would like to explore my feelings, yes i have strong feelings for her. I didn’t realize i did but i do. But I know how messed up that is.

I don’t know how to move forward, i don’t want to lose my family, I don’t want to lose her, I got want to disrespect the memory of my wife. I’m such a pos