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I want you to help me achieve my goal [Goal Race]
Date: October 18, 2022
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When an SO requests to open a relationship it can’t be unasked. The SO essentially is telling the partner they are not enough for them. A deep cut to a monogamous relationship that may never heal.
As for the specific question, did the GF cheat. I’d say she was too aggressive not to believe she didn’t explore dating the guy. I’d keep asking her with the same effort she applied to see if she’ll come clean on what really happened.
This
You say you are on leave, so I suspect military. She probably likes you, but doesn't want an LDR.
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They date younger women for that darling. Throw this bastard away !
You are basically admitting that you're together with your gf because she was the only one showing romantic interest in you. And now someone else is doing it as well and you would gladly switch. Well, you should break up with your gf. She deserves better. You have never actually loved or valued her.
If your husband does anything other than euthanize the dog or get rid of her in some other way, then he is a bad person.
Do not move in with him.
No, you don't deserve this. But you're going to have to stop choosing men who do this. You have to take your emotions out of the driver's seat and use your brain. Hitting people because one is aggravated is unacceptable. Also criminal. Someone who hits you is a bad partner, period. It doesn't matter how in love you are, or whether he says he loves you, it is a bad relationship.
You will never, ever, ever have the happy little family you're dreaming of if you tolerate this kind of behavior. If you try to make that happen with an abusive man, you will be miserable and you will damage your child for a lifetime.
You sound incredibly young and naive for your age. I think your past history with an abuser has affected your ability to think through situations like this more than you're aware of. Please get psychological help so that you can start recovering from the abuse and develop some emotional independence. Do it for the sake of your child, if not yourself.
For sure!
Having a “difficult childhood” might be a mitigating factor in a criminal sentencing hearing but it doesn't obligate the victims of a crime to forgive the perpetrator. This person didn't even steal from some anonymous store or something, she violated the sacred trust your family invested in her by allowing her into their home, almost certainly knowing she'd be caught. Meaning this wasn't just a matter of her envy or greed but rather an act of self destruction. So unless she's willing to start therapy to reverse her desire to ruin her relationships things like this are likely to happen again and again. That should be the line you draw in terms of willingness to take her back. But also don't expect your family to just get over it. They're probably never going to fully trust her and that's something you'll have to consider if you move forward with her.
Depending on a where or what devices it was on you can just report her. Maybe they will follow up? If she still owns the electronics they might take her devices and recover anything that was trashed. Also I understand patient confidentiality but isn't this something that should've been auto reported? Like if they suspect stuff happening in the home they report to dcs?
If I took a Taxi to and from work every day, I would be losing money, not making it. She said she takes public transit when she can, but often she gets off work in the middle of the night. She might need a job with better hours until she gets a car.
I'm concerned that since he is a Reddit user, he might see this before she is ready. Also if he doesn't want to divorce for religious reasons, your may want to get copies of the posts saved in case he tries to hide that. If the rest of the family has similar values, it would be good to have something to show he is the problem. I assume a lawyer can give guidance on this?
You were being ridiculous in not going to the wedding.
You dump her for cheating. Quick and direct, and go no-contact. You don’t concern yourself with how she feels about herself. She should feel terrible.
This is how my last relationship (also 3 years long and living together) started to end. She met someone she became interested in, our intimacy went way down (not even just sex, but kisses, hugs, cuddles, dates, time together, etc, all became almost nonexistent), she then started talking about her maybe being polygamous and wanting to open the relationship, kept promising I was her priority, but then everything went downhill; she started fighting me on everything, I started feeling miserable and she ended up just pushing me to break up with her. I now wish I had seen in the beginning where it all was going to. I was super supportive, I even told her in the beginning that she could explore other relationships if she felt like she needed to, and I comforted her about her feelings for this other person, but I very quickly felt like a burden and at that point there was no fixing it. I put in so much effort into keeping the relationship alive, but her attention was elsewhere and she stopped trying with me, and a relationship doesn't work when only one person wants to be in it.
If not break up, at least take a break. This is not a good sign in your relationship, and accepting things in the relationship that you are not comfortable with will not make anything better. If his attention is elsewhere, the relationship is at its end. Some time apart might do you both well before everything starts getting worse and resentment starts growing.
Is she diabetic? If so, this should be addressed with her endocrinologist. My brother had JD (type 1) and any semblance of irritability or odd mood, is a sign of low blood sugar.
I would suggest leaving a snack for her to eat on the nightstand in the morning so that she can eat it in peace and recoup her sugars. Do this before you start your day to avoid the ensuing conflict.
Seriously though, if she's diabetic, she needs to tell her endo that she's exhibiting low sugar in the morning so she can adjust her medication appropriately.
This!
Go spend some time over at r/QAnoncasualties. You dodged a massive bullet.
In your position, I’d stand my ground. Are you going to sacrifice your future son’s genitals to a religious belief that has no meaning or significance to you? Go to a synagogue and pretend every week for the rest of your life? Never eat bacon again? Has he told you yet that Judaism is matrilineal? In other words, according to Jewish tradition, if the two of you have children, they only count as Jewish if you are Jewish, not if he is Jewish. Perhaps you’re just not compatible.
On the plus side, he’s telling you this now, not after you’re married and 8 months pregnant. So you have the opportunity to decide whether this is what you want while you’re still young and free of baggage.
Not your partner's job to neglect himself to care for you. Grow up
You seem to be projecting a bit and reading into things way too much and not sure why you're automatically assuming he's lying. Dreams are just dreams.
There's no safe way to choke another person.
I had to move 3 hours away for my college. My boyfriend and I have been dating since we were 16, and we’re in our early twenties now. We set up a way for us to visit each other once a month for a long weekend or sometimes a week if we planned far in advance (enough time to give our jobs a heads up). We’ve been long distance for the past year, and it works for us! Just trying to give you some hope that things can work out!
But like you also said, you mentioned that you want to be with other people before getting serious; if you really loved this guy and can’t imagine your life w/o him, you wouldn’t be having thoughts like that. Reconsider that before you make your final decision on what to do.
Why would you even disrespect yourself so much that you'd continue to try and “work through it”?
Thank you so much for this advice
Starting from zero os better than starting from negative 100 when you are divorced with two kids in a few years because he left you for someone else.
It's impossible to tell from your account if she is using you. Set that question aside. Is this a relationship you want to continue? Is it worth it to you? How confident are you that this can be a successful relationship for you?
I would have been done when she dumped you the second time, but maybe you are more patient.
you are so young omg there is no need to even waste your time with someone who doesn’t like a big thing you do, life is too short
Good for you!! She will eventually run out of people willing to put up with her crap and you on the flip side of that will hopefully find true and dear friends close to you and you’ll be so much happier!! I wish you all the best!! And good for you for ignoring the stigma and putting yourself out there!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️
I would start by telling your partner that you want to share something that is impacting you and ask when he has time to talk. This allows him to opt into the conversation rather than feeling confronted. Be open and honest that you have noticed less effort on his end. Share that when he takes ownership of planning dates, it makes you feel loved and cared for. When he bounces the ball back to you, it makes you feel like you are carrying more of the responsibility in the relationship. Explain that this is really important to you and it would feel really good to be heard and your feedback to be responded to.
Remember that actions really do speak louder than words. If you share this with your partner and he does not make much of an effort, then he isnt really invested in working together to feel good in your relationship.
So because men aren’t allowed to make medical decisions for women, they’re oppressed?
Women get pregnant. They grow the child and give birth to it. Therefore it is their decision.
Please don’t troll me.