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Jane Flowers, 26 y.o.
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Date: January 3, 2023
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I never thought about the consequences it could have on possible kids ty this gave me more insight. He explained why he had to wait 10 years to fight it he’s spoken to a lawyer (showed me proof of that) and explained that he wouldn’t be able to fight it due to him falling under Walsh he can fight to have ur expunged 10 years because it’s required for 15
I never thought about the consequences it could have on possible kids ty this gave me more insight. He explained why he had to wait 10 years to fight it he’s spoken to a lawyer (showed me proof of that) and explained that he wouldn’t be able to fight it due to him falling under Walsh he can fight to have ur expunged 10 years because it’s required for 15
She's probably just worried about the backlash she will definitely receive for you taking her name. And she's right, being a doctor, it's hella hot to get everything changed. It's not like most of us going to a couple of government offices. She'd have to change with medical boards, and who knows what else. Is not hyphenating the last name for your kids worth canceling the engagement?
Dudeeeee, she had an alcohol problem if it got to that point. Especially if she gets this sloshed frequently.
And people only quit when ready. If you ask and she doesn’t, guess what? Break up. She won’t change unless she’s ready.
And I guess she’s not ready to quit drinking.
Op, love isn’t a reason to stick around.
Love = safe
If you don’t feel safe, that’s not live. That’s fear.
So put this all on pause. You should focus on your health(mental and physical) and figuring out how to amicably part ways when the time is right.
I really needed to hear this, in my head I kept thinking it didn't hurt so its probably not a huge deal. I'm leaving when he goes to work. I have a bad habit of forgiving too easy
do you have any children with her?
if you don't, it makes this situation “less harder” to you, cause you already know what you have to do, because you possibly will never trust her again.
and you better be careful, cause if you don't have children with her, she can try to get pregnant and trap you into a relationship with her, and believe me, you don't want to be in this position, cause you will be resentful and this “family” will become toxic very quickly, and no child should be on this environment.
before you decide if you stay or if you leave, you better don't have sex with her and never believe if she says she's taking the pills.
chose very wisely what will be your next steps to make sure you will have no resentment, regret, anger and disgust if you stay with her.
if you think you can't overcome her betrayal, you better go separated ways.
you have a decision to make, and it's not easy for you, but you have to be rational in this moment.
22 years older…serial divorcee, sleeps with his paralegal. The guys a creep dates younger women because anyone his age would see through his BS.
I mis read it my b.
Give him the number to a family shelter and tell him to get out
Nope. I don't. I think it's about being open and honest , and communicating without being sketchy and/or trashy about it.
Tell that bitch she can fuck off
Drop Ashley. This is not a long term friendship. It’s 6 months old. You do not really know her. If you are inviting her to do things, stop. Start being too busy to do things with her.
If you allow it you will be sad for a long time, potentially injuring your future relationships.
If you break up now, you will be sad for some time but should get past it.
She doesnt want you. She just wants to keep you on the back burner in case no one else takes her fancy. Dont do that to yourself.
Look. I'm going to be blunt. Get mad. This doesn't mean go raging at her, it means use your anger to fuel you. It's over. Delete all her contact info. If she has anything at your place, gather it up and drop it off in front of her door. Ghost her.
Then proceed to work on yourself. Mind, body, soul, professionally. Stay away from other women for awhile. You're 27? Make a goal. Take 3 years, until you're 30, and build yourself up. Get a good financial base, either a better job, or advance were you're working at. Work out. Try to advance your education. Start learning a second (or third, as the case may be). Start a new hobby. Get a dog or cat.
But focus on you, and you alone.
But DON'T sequester yourself away. Go out with friends and family. Socialize.
But work on you.
Wow. Your mother is dying and not only is she not encouraging you to spend time with her but she’s trying to blackmail you into not seeing your dying mother. No. No. Not okay. That’s truly awful. God I really hope you move on
Good lord, actual adults ask people to be their Valentines?
Thanks for the advice, I’ll go with flowers and chocolate then dinner afterwards.
Forget the reason for your lack of trust or why he didn’t text. For me the most concerning part is how he thinks to deal with conflict. Ignoring a partner when they are sharing how they feel only serves to push your partner away and make them feel unheard and uncared for. Your trust issues on top of this fundamental inability to communicate and resolve conflict sounds to me like you’re better off not being in this relationship. Or you should seek couples counselling if you want to continue. This communication issue doesn’t just go away on its own.
I've told my girlfriend she can look through my phone whenever she wants. I've got nothing to hide from her. If she ever had suspicions I'd rather just quickly clear it up.
I commonly hear and read that laying a phone screen down is a sign of potential cheating shenanigans. I typically set my phone down screen side down, because I think it may help protect it against accidents. In a world of suspicion, where emotional and physical cheating seems fairly common, I've got no problem reassuring my partner that I'm not a cheater.
My good friend and his now wife had this issue. They have now been happily married for 10 years. They are both great.
1 He could be new to it and just needs to get used to it. OR 2 It could be a woman thing you, him, or together need to look into. In my friend and wife’s case it turned out to definitely be something she needed to do differently hygiene/nutrition wise. Don’t recall what it was exactly but they fixed the issue ?
What they did do for sure is communicated about it clearly, civilly and respectfully. I was really proud of them for cracking this and having the opportunity to resume enjoying oral sex ?…serious, bc my buddy was a total sheltered dork ? but they did it ! Woohoo ?
I’m gonna throw up
I get it, she sounds annoying, and her diet is taking up a lot of her head space. It IS working for her though, so I don’t get why you’re being so judgmental about the diet choices she’s making. Sure, have a conversation about enjoying her company and wanting to reconnect with her without necessarily having to talk about her diet. But insulting the diet and your gf’s impressive commitment to it isn’t going to get you what you want, which is more non-diet-focused attention from your gf.
The happiest I have ever been was single, for years. Do what I want, date for fun experiences, learning about me. What to leave in, what is absolutely a deal breaker.
You need your ME space. Until you find out who you are, you won’t find the right relationship. Married 30 years this summer, we dated 7 years, a few engagements with him, breaking up to re adjust, and learning to be each other’s forever.
I need anal, I'm a t-girl any relationship where I'm NOT getting fucked in the arse ever isn't a relationship I wanna be in.
I didn't say force. Pressure, yes. I mean in my experience, guys can push a lot, even from a wheelchair.
She says the girl lived with her when they were younger iirc. So I don't think so.
I have no idea what to do.
Sure you do. It's very very obvious. Not easy mind you, but obvious.
Yes because it’s a relationship and OP is the side chick… why else is he spending every night there?
Yes because it’s a relationship and OP is the side chick… why else is he spending every night there?
Platonic relationships are possible, but it's probably not happening here. It seems that the smoke screen is the ease with which she tells you about each and every one. You aren't happy so what's the point in staying in this relationship. No amount of conversation is going to get any cooperation and she will likely just stop talking about the other men. IMO it's time to move on.
Nobody should sleep with someone who premeditatedly tried to rape them. Ever for any reason.
Doing so is a BAD decision. Telling her this is not to make her feel bad. It’s to inform and empower.
If she DOES now sleep with him and gets pregnant, she SHOULD feel bad for creating a helpless child with an abuser. As a child of a woman who stayed with an abuser, there is no excuse for voluntarily staying with an abuser.
Are you sure she’s “repulsed” by you crying, or she’s just confused because she witnessed you having extreme mood swings in the span of a couple minutes? You say you’re not used to talking about your emotions, so I can only assume that these displays of emotion aren’t normal for you, so she might just be confused. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it sounds like she wanted you to talk about your feelings and you broke down crying, but you never actually told her what was wrong. So maybe she’s distant because she doesn’t know what caused it and she doesn’t know what to do. Sounds like you both need to do more communicating
This is interesting to read. I've been in a relationship with my gf for about 2 years now, her native language is English, which I speak fluently. I however speak a different language. She is now learning my language to communicate with my family, not because I wanted her to, but because she wanted to. I would have no problems translating her words to my family.
If I were you I would do something because you want to. If you do not want to learn something you should not be forced to do so. If your boyfriend then says you 'Don't like his family' that is his problem. Make sure what is important to you, in life, in a relationship, in your family. If your boyfriend does not want to keep that balance, then decide on what you want to do.
I’m saying that you shouldn’t bring it up to him. This is something for you to work through on your own.
Nobody I know irl uses condoms with their GFs who are on bc lol
i love her with all my being? but thank you for reading and replying and the advice
I was constantly judged for every action or decision I did on my own by my parents
Yeah, that's the kind of attitude that would create a habit of lying. But it really sounds to me like OP's wife has that exact sort of demeanor, even if she's not trying to judge. He says in the OP she is “strong-willed” and influences him a lot. I'm that same kind of asshole, and I have to be careful about how I talk to people about some things because I can be really overbearing.
“I personally feel that my views on LGBTQ has not impacted my views or actions with my wife or child.”
This is incorrect and you know it. Your wife is TELLING YOU that it is. You refute her accusations of homophobia/biphobia by saying you only view her as your wife and the mother of your children. But if you do not affirm her sexuality, you straight-up are not accepting of a part of who she is. By what you're hinting, I take it you view her identity as a sin. Bisexuality is not just some kind of “flaw” you can so chivalrously overlook, it is an identity, a community, and a cultural experience. Most importantly it is a fundamental part of who your wife is.
“If the LGBTQ stance was the core problem, then I've been lied to for our whole marriage.”
You have not been lied to because she is telling you that it's an issue! It's also very common for people to grow in confidence about their sexuality over time and frankly, I've known SO MANY bi girls to get in relationships with non-affirming straight men when they have not yet found their footing as an LGBT+ person, but take issue with it as they grow in confidence and pride in their community.
You do not fully accept and affirm who she is, and you go to a church that probably thinks she is going to Hell and is probably fighting to take away her rights as an LGBT+ person in your region. I personally think churches like yours are even worse, because they'll be “nice” about it while they talk shit behind your back and actively push agendas to make your life worse. And then expect a cookie for not, what, beating you in the street lmao???
We are living in a scary time for LGBT+ people and you do actually have to pick a side IMO. Is that side gonna be your wife's?
It sounds like you are convenient fuck friends. You have a history. You're comfortable with each other. When you're in close proximity, you get together, fuck around, and spend time together until one / both of you go back and lead your 'regular' lives. Maybe I'm missing something?
You need to stop being his sugar momma. He is grown. Block him and run away. Do not associate with people in his circle. He is a black hole sucking out your life force. Get over him and live your life. He doesn't deserve you.
Yeah, just leave her alone and move on. If they're not actively displaying interest in you, whether that's engaging in conversation or giving alternatives for plans – there's no reason for you to go the extra mile for someone that isn't matching your effort.
You are so young you have your entire life ABEAD of you. I know it’s very hot right now and it will take some time, but you will find someone EVEN BETTER than her – it’s probably impossible to think that’s possible, but it is. She seemed amazing at the time but with some time and a different partner your perspective will change and you will see she probably wasn’t the perfect person for you. Good luck my friend, take 6 months to work on yourself, focus on other things you are passionate about or develop new interests, and someone new will come along- just be open to it (down the road).
She didn’t lie. She wasn’t obligated to share any information with him.
I bet you left our a lot of how this really went down.
However let's start off with the differences here. She called off work to see her best friend for a long weekend trip. You wanted her to call off to meet one of your friends to hang out. Her and her best friend going on a planned trip quite clearly trumps you and your buddy hanging out for a day.
But the part you left out is how your conversation went down… Asking her to take a day off to meet and hang out with a stranger, who is not your best friend should have been phrased as a question, followed by the importance of the request you are making. Something like, “Hey my buddy Timmy is going to be in town on the 25th and I'd really like you to meet him, can you call off that day and hang out with us? It would mean a lot to me because I want you in all aspects of my life, and meeting old friends is part of that.”
Now even if she said no to that… it is reasonable and you were not manipulative.
It's how you responded that I'm betting made her think you are controlling.
AT ANY POINT did you not accept her saying no?
AT ANY POINT did you point out that she's OK calling off work for her friend and not you?
Because your response to her after she said no… that may be why she thinks you want to control her.
Your bf sounds both unstable and potentially dangerous to your safety. Eventually his punching the walls will be him punching you. He has shown you that he is willing to touch you in a violent way to prevent you from doing something that he doesn’t want you to do.
Yeah I'm not sure he deserves another chance given his awful behaviour. Being drunk is not an excuse – these people are cruel and ridiculous, and alcohol just helped you see their true colours. They are absolutely d*ckheads. You definitely need to dump him for his total lack of empathy and support. What happens when it's much more serious?
What? Calling someone a shitty person for doing a shitty thing is not abusive.
Doubt it. If mom was smart she never would have had Insta and this never would have happened. Now they are using it to track her and learn about the kids and she just keeps posting giving them more info.
She was a hypocrite. And your loss I understand it’s real, but you had genuine feelings for him, and he had genuine feelings for you. I don’t know that you did anything wrong that two ordinary people don’t do when they fall in love. Should you have told your friend maybe it would’ve made it easier because emotions are complicated and this polyamory stuff makes it much more complex. They’re great for sexual experimentation, but they do not work with relationships because of exactly these kinds of situation they damage everything around them. Go on and online your life. This was not her boyfriend. This was a guy that was disposable to her.
Boys come and go but doggies are always with us.
Should I not have said that ? I’m open to suggestions
It is implied by you that the reasons they give are good enough. I don't have to point. When you say they can give a reason for what they did, they are thinking 'hey, this reason was good enough for me.' You are attempting to defend & justify that their good enough reason ought to be good enough to defend cheating.
God damn it
That’s super immature and I would question her AND her friends’ character. Also what kind of sick friendship is this ? Getting in a competition to see who gets more male attention? That’s bound to create unnecessary drama.
Could you sound any more like a creep?
Well, the term “open relationship” is not the proper term for the early days of dating. You're not exclusive yet, then later agree to become mutually exclusive. That's how dating works, for adults anyway. Either way, there's nothing wrong with monogamy and if she wants to be poly and OP doesn't, it's best to end things.
Instead of asking us, if you know who he is, ask him. Show him a picture of her and tell him she has an STD. Gauge the reaction.
I am happy to carry 100% of the load IF she is a SAHM and we are married. We have been DATING for only 2 months. So chill out lad.
We are not married just engaged lol
Not really about the location, more about the fact that she randomly was out of the circle one day lol makes me think she doesn’t want me knowing something.
I mean it sounds like there are way bigger issues in your relationship than the porn