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double penetration , ♥ [880 tokens remaining]
Date: October 4, 2022
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I don't see anything to talk out. I would go to the party one way or the other. And make sure the wife knows her man is at least kissing another girl.
How could a girl “Love” him when he is willing to cheat on his PREGNANT wife. Dude this isn't worth saving.
You sound like a child. Get over yourself. Last time I checked, the house is under his name. Just because you pay rent doesn’t mean there are no rules to follow.
The entitlement is wild.
Toxic . He needs help.
I just told her that I wanted to get to know her and see how things went. now I know her and have seen how things went.
Having a child so young meant you missed out on a lot of the fun, carefree aspects of being in your 20s. Now you can do it – travel, get a boat, get another degree.
What are the things you’d like to do/accomplish? Does your wife have any non baby-related plans? Now’s the time to get excited about that!
Marriage counseling, stat. The way she is treating you is not ok.
I'm not judging, but I feel like that had to be a lot of alcohol.
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Thank god you are still clear minded enough to recognise how completely disgusting this is. A lot of the time victims of abuse are too lost in their abuser's made up reality to see it. This situation is unbelievable, so glad you're getting out. Good luck xxx
Do you want to stay with him after what you wrote?
Does he blame himself?
punishes you, unemployed, overweight, spends his days playing games
It's a meaningless marriage, you've supported him for years
He wants a divorce and won't tell you?
Honestly, there's not much you can do past saying sorry. She has to decide whether or not she wants to stay with you.
This has been going on for 10 years
Because he's letting a 5 year old run the show?
No, it is not normal for a five-year-old child to scream “for hours” when they hear the word “no.”
I tried what they and you suggested. No change
Pretty much means what he said, so don't bee surprised if he starts “wandering” when you hit 31
I 24F am in a age gap relationship (he’s 43M). You’re going to likely always be met with people being funny when you tell them the age difference. My dad was initially against it, mum had no problem and my brother worked with him so he was fine too. Once my dad met him he really enjoyed his company, I brought him to our Christmas lunch with all the extended family and he was a big hit and everyone liked him. If he’s a good person then once they’ve met him I’m sure it’ll be no problem. My man is the kindest guy I’ve ever met and his family are amazing too, there will naturally be times where the age gap will get in the way so definitely be prepared for that?
Sorry this happened to you OP. At least is was before you got married. Get tested.
Just say “I know you’ve been parking your cruiser in other harbours. Sweet dreams my LA ex
Maybe sex was what held you guys together, which is not very good for the future, as dry spells do happen.
I also personally think it's a bit ridiculous to stop when you've already been active and living together because… what are you proving anyway?
No, there is absolutely no direct link between the two. Do you feel that he doesn’t care about you for any other reasons ?
You can’t control someone else’s beliefs or actions, only your reactions to them. If he holds beliefs that are unacceptable to you, you need to leave.
He's not a wonderful man and he's not treating you like a queen if he's talking to sex workers behind your back. You've only been married a few months and he's already cheating? You deserve better and you can start my divorcing his cheating ass and moving on with your life. Men like that NEVER change. Ever.
Your other friends, don’t ever trust them with your valuable items. Especially not your car.
Lawyer up. 180 and gray rock
I think it just shows how shitty this particular friend is. I don’t see how he doesn’t see it. I just think he’s using it as an excuse to get away from us.
If there’s sexual tension then why aren’t u puttin the moves on eg when you’re both drunk at 2am on NYE? Sounds like u don’t know how to physically escalate
Maybe so. It's not a huge deal, was more so just wondering what was normal in other relationships.
Can't help but feel you wasted five years of her life.
Not quite. Sex work usually involves multiple men, this doesn't. Also, sugar babies sometimes do not sleep with their partners at all, because one party might not be interested. You're still your own Person, you're maybe not loved for who you are but respected and if the relationship is not like that, it's recommended to leave, because a sugarbaby relationship should Look like I said. Respect is key, and if you're not respected, that's a reason to leave.
Ask him for a dildo isn’t he shape of him
Oh boy!! This is only going to get worse. He wants to be in charge and keep you all to himself. You are going to end up baby-trapped, stuck IN HIS house cooking and cleaning and having no life of your own. He will find ways to make you depend on him totally and will eventually find ways to alienate your friends so that he is your EVERYTHING.
Bounce as soon as you can. Now that you are feeling good about yourself you are more likely to find a good man who will love you for the person you are rather than the person he wants you to be.
As a guy I find it inappropriate to share what happens in the privacy of the bedroom with others and my friends no better than to ask.
I mean, this guy doesn't even have the decency to respect your no. At some point this IS going to end.
Him continually asking you to do something you don't want is going to get old. You're going to become resentful of the fact that he can't accept your boundary.
If you were to just cave and do what he wants (and something you don't actually enjoy or want to do) you will eventually resent him.
Saying that he's “feeling unsatisfied in your relationship” because you won't do this one sexual thing is more than a little manipulative.
He's already told you that he won't stay in this relationship if you don't cave to his demand. So again, this will eventually end either way.
You may love him but he's willing to threaten to end your relationship because you won't do anal so…
But how is your relationship with your mother and sister or brother if you have any?
I see what you mean. I apologize. This is why I hate texting away. It makes it naked to convey what the other person means sometimes. I'm really sorry that I assumed and made myself look like an ass.
Yeah people love abusive people every day, that's why they get stuck in abusive relationships. Love is respect. He's not respecting you, he doesn't care that he physically hurt you. Who fuckin cares about love. This is how you end up trapped with him. Get a brain.
11 months is not a lot of time. And you started paying her bills 2 months in, so even if she didn't like you, she would have probably hung on for the financial security.
It's naked to tell who's manipulating who. Are you buying her interest or is she playing damsel to your white knight?
This is an incredibly ableist comment. “I couldn't control my panic attack so you can't ever trust me”.
This is precisely my biggest fear. I’m confident the child is mine, but have no confidence I want to be with her anymore. Rather start over without a child, which I know is selfish.
That sounds really messy. If I was in that situation I would probably thank her and say that I would have been interested (if you would have been) but with the level of manipulation, hate and lies that have been going on because of Molly you don’t think it would be healthy to become enmeshed at this time. Maybe they could follow up with you if Molly leaves the picture to see where things stand.
IMO this Molly person is something else and I wouldn’t recommend getting closer to them while she’s around. Sucks but you don’t need that kind of stress.
I'm not saying this is what's happening here, but my first thought was this comedy bit I saw last year from a married guy saying his wedding ring was a chick magnet…. but then he realized women just felt SAFE around him enough to open up. They weren't flirting. Because he was married, women felt comfortable being friendly because some single guys take friendliness as an invitation to do/say unfriendly things.
I agree with others, set firm boundaries. “No thank you. I have a wife.” instead of “Sorry, I have a wife.” The difference between the two has been discussed on tiktok if you're interested.
He should push a baby out of his dick and then literally keep it alive for months to see what that's like. I cant with people like this. He should have thought about this before getting her prégnant. What a selfish prick.
Someone doesn’t “accidentally do something to you against your will”.
It wasn’t an accident, it was an act of ignorance and disregard for your boundaries.
Thanks so much. I will definitely bring it up and ask. According to him he only wants sexual stuff over clothes and I need to figure it out.
Updateme
How’d you find out?
Girl how many red flags do you need from this POS?
Tell her to get her tubes tied. Only moderatately more invasive and it will be her body, her choice.
He blocks me and deletes me off everything, not because he doesn’t want to talk to me it’s because he knows how much it affects me.
You realize how cruel that is, Yes?
Would you treat someone that way? If a dear friend described this to you, laid out everything you wrote in your post, what would tell her?
Be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone you loved.
And reexamine why you are NOT as good and loving to yourself as you would offer a friend.
I guess by “earned” I meant that you can't be terrible to someone and still expect to share sex with them, even if that person is your spouse. But yes, that's a bad word to use.
He forgot about some expenses that we had discussed last week and got upset.
Sure you are, if they consent.
If it does end the relationship then the fiance is an asshole. They weren't even trying for kids.
U high?
Find someone else to pick a fight with dude. I think your take is dumb as hell and have no desire to continue
The moment a bitch would spit in my face, they're lucky divorce is all they would be getting.
Guys asks if he should leave situation alone then gets angry when people say yes…… ?
He’s a physician
Just to be clear, either way she would be more than 6 weeks. If attack was 2 months ago (let’s say 8 weeks), and that was when she got pregnant, based on the way we count things (assumed date of last period) she’d be measuring as 10 weeks (+/- 7 days) not 6. If conception was OPs last intimacy, she should be measuring as about 12 weeks (+/- 7 days).
Damn I guess free awards aren't a thing anymore. Take my broke ass gold ?
You should have never said yes. Allowing something like that to happen takes a ton of planning and communication. After you calmed down you should have truly thought it through before being even more rash and accepting their proposal. Your feelings matter too and you cannot please everyone. You have to take yourself into consideration as well.
Do you think your kids can’t feel the vibe change? Living together and resenting each other will affect your kids worse than divorcing.
As I said allowing your partner to go outside the bounds of your marriage takes a ton of planning. You guys should have discussed amount of times, boundaries on location, the relationships with each other going forward, and aftercare (because again, your feelings matter.) And that’s just the start.
I say all this as a woman with kids who has allowed her husband to sleep with other women. My relationship is as healthy as ever. Planning is so key when it comes to something like this.
Honestly, I’d strongly recommend you go to therapy on your own to figure out what you want and decide your future. You need to plan me time away from your family. Your marriage is already dysfunctional. It’s only going to lead to dysfunctional kids if you continue down the path you’re on.
Unfortunately, there is no way to make up for years of being a selfish and self-absorbed person when you're breaking up.
You are at this point after years of selfish behavior, poor communication, and fundamental lack of respect for your gf.
The time to be concerned was months or years ago when you initially became dissatisfied with the relationship when there was still time and or inclination by one or both of you to work on it the improve. Even if that effort failed, it would have come after both parties trying and putting in the effort, so would not have been a surprise to anyone when it was time to call it quits.
Your cowardice has led you to this moment. Don't pretend like you're some noble or good person now, especially since you don't want to make it easier for her, but for you so YOU feel less guilty and have less fallout to deal with.
Then why even mention he’s in one and ask this sub if we would floated one?
Why did you marry someone who only 10% wanted kids opposed to your 80%? That’s on you bud.
a clear cut declaration of your intent for her every now and then might work for when she gets like this.
Leave now. There are so many red flags for this person and that they shouldn’t be in your life.
Drove drunk on a motorcycle and which could’ve gotten you both as well as other harmed or killed on top of being illegal. I’m not surprised you going the extra mile to make him feel special on his birthday , he sounds like a shitty partner and petty asshole that no one should put effort into being kind to.
Your saftey and happiness don’t matter to them obviously please leave for your own self preservation.
I’d leave this relationship if it were me.
If you aren’t doing that, I would insist that the chore contributions match the financial ones – if he’s paying 80% of the bills, he does 20% of the chores, and vice versa. I’d make a weekly chore spreadsheet where, every day, you initial any chore you’ve completed. Then, when he says you aren’t pulling your weight, I’d refer to the sheet. Point out that you’re doing 100% of the chores despite the fact that you contribute x% to finances. He can make vague accusations, but data doesn’t lie.
But yeah – once you get to the point that you have to do that, you’re dealing with someone who is emotionally abusive, and it’s time to leave.
Divorce her, tomorrow.
Nope its not enough. We are talking about months of no sex. Its not like they were having sex only once a week because he is tired. My understanding of sex is great should be a few times a week.
Depends how much you want a baby and this way there’s no IVF hurdles to overcome.
Just tell your dad that him and your mom are your family. Their current partners are not. If they feel offended by that, so be it. They are old enough to understand.
Your managing ONE website? So youre sitting around doing nothing for most of the day?
Is this the type of woman you want to be with? For me – no way I would seriously date a girl who gets trains run on her. Personal preference obviously. But ask yourself that.
Something i find weird, how can he be emotionally open in that situation but not when you needed him? Was it too early in the relationship? Has he lost a pet?
Does your ex have any other children or only your son?
Check the very last paragraph
I have a friend who gets rashes when exposed to dimethicone and it was really naked to figure out where it was coming from. Not something on an allergy test either. Def not hearing any compassion from OP about her exs discomfort
OP, you were sexually assaulted. This wasn’t cheating. If your girlfriend is someone who’s worth staying with, she will absolutely cut off all ties with the person who raped you. She sexually assaulted her best friend’s boyfriend. Your girlfriend’s reaction will tell you what kind of person you’re in a relationship with.
Jesus Christ… LISTEN TO YOUR WIFE. Everyone is telling you how to make her understand, but I think behind your wife’s attitude there’s a real fucking beauty and a lot of real emotion about the unfairness of the world. “This is how the game works” literally, in the most literal of literal senses, is how we wind up with inequity. It is the reason why highly profitable biotech companies will increase prices 100%… BECAUSE THEY CAN. So don’t make her try to understand. Just listen. Listen again. And then listen some more. Give her the space to pour out her emotion until she cries. Let her know that you stand with her, and agree that it’s unfair that she makes what she makes, and you make what you make.
Okay bet, then encourage him and lift him up. He'll probably be happy someone takes an interest in him beyond the superficial. You know how to finesse it without telling him what to do.
So I seem to end up in this situation a lot. I meet someone I really like. They kinda like me back but not as much. Will sleep with me but kinda not really get invested. Then bin me off when I ask to be exclusive.
One girl literally told me she never planned on having a relationship with me or anyone else and didn’t know why i got the idea she did. I’d been seeing her for 2 months and sleeping with her. Then 4 months later she had a new bf all over social media.
How can I feel I deserve a girl I’d like if this happens all the time
I think if you're seeing someone for several months, a text every day or two, even something as small as 'thinking of you and hope you're having a great day' just shows that, you know, you're thinking of them because presumably, you do? Think of them? Like, once every day or two?
It's odd to me that you think one text every day or two is a lot and it sounds like you don't really want a relationship. Sounds like the only thing you 'ruined' is a super casual fuck, which you can find anywhere so why fret about losing this casual fuck?
You really need to find a way out. Gina a roommate situation and just leave. Everything else can be worked out. Yes it’s difficult but it’s doable
There doesn't appear to be any money involved, not that it makes it any better or worse. The men are only thinking of themselves.
Nah you just sound narcisisstic
I’m so sorry, OP. Your bf is wrong and you are still an amazing altruistic person. To help others, you have to first help yourself. Your safety and welfare are your number one priority. You can exercise your altruism in other ways that don’t pose such a risk and that don’t don’t trigger your PTSD.
I hope you realize she just called you a liar, and she doesn't trust you. She also just told you that she will never have your back. You don't deserve that, and she doesn't deserve you. I'm will to bet he's done this with every relationship she's ever had. While yes he's gay, he's also overly attached to your girlfriend, and refuses to share her with anyone in the romantic sense. Until she wakes up, and realizes what he's doing she'll always end up alone. That is not your fault, it's hers, and not something you should have to fix, or tolerate. I understand you love her, but she jist showed you she really doesn't love you. Record him the next time he starts his crap, send it to her, along with a text that says you didn't believe me so here, now we're done, and walk away because you deserve better.
Also self sabotage to me is saying something. 1) yes therapy like we talked about and 2) your heart is telling you something isn’t right about this relationship
Why would the gf question it? OP should tell her exactly why he's removing himself from the situation, and break up with her if she doesn't fix it.
None of what OP has done is reasonable. He shouldn't be goading someone he calls a “bully” into bullying him just to show his gf. That's not how adults handle things.
You sound very difficult to date.
It's been two years. Of course, she had someone else already. She is stringing you along until someone better appears. You are playing a game, and she is making the rules. The only way to stop it is by not playing.
We’re you in a relationship with a different guy at the time?
She's choosing to go out all the time. Ask her to stay home for dinner, bath time and bed time and stay home for the night. Does she have any interest in being a mother? a partner? I'd ask her outright what she sees happening in the next year, next five years and next 10 years? If she is not going to be a parent, better you end it sooner than later.
I would say we are comfortable in our finances.
When I asked her about it she said she is able to get in on hyped nft releases, which she can buy for a couple hundred and sell at the resell market price usually thousands more than she bought in at.
She is paid 0.8 eth a month (approx 1.6k current market value,) to mod for a nft community on discord.
I agree that’s why I jumped on, but surprisingly she’s still making a good amount on the side due to nfts.
What are you talking about?
Most useful reddit advice
The single easiest way to improve your sex life immediately is to dump that dude out of your bed and straight to the curb.
Are you going to end it with him? Please don’t believe him if he says he will change. He’s almost 30. At that point, it’s pretty rare that someone will drastically change their personality
Why is it wrong for having a conversation with someone else? Analyze that thought for a second.
You are allowed to speak to other people and to have friendships and engage in interactions with other people while you’re in a relationship, so long as no trust is betrayed. I’d highly urge you to just peruse r/abusiverelationships and see if there’s any similarities you recognize in his behavior.
This man is a fucking bleeding wound emotionally, and there is nothing you can do for him. It is clear that he hates himself and is unable to face it so he projects his feelings outward on you. People like this are incapable of healthy love, please know you deserve so much better OP I wish you all the best
Your therapist needs to be exchanged. It sounds like they’re getting ready to stalk you.
Unless I've missed something, it's OP's wife who is expecting.
But then wouldn't you be the very creep you were just now talking about?
Does he have any male friends? Try to initiate something that would trigger this behavior normally, but in front of one of his male friends. See if he still does it.
Yup, most people will. If it’s a boundary for you that’s fine, but this appears to be born out of a breach of trust. Therefore this isn’t really about the porn it’s about your broken trust in your relationship. Your partner isn’t saying anything to make you feel better and I’d suggest finding a new partner is the best outcome here, but you need to appreciate you now need to work on building your confidence and trust in others, otherwise you’ll feel like this again and it won’t be your new partners fault.
Ended by default is not appropriate for anyone to do. It’s not fair that she’s stringing you a long. It is a big deal because if you’ve been in a relationship then it either need to continue or end. It’s very immature to just let it fade away and let the other person carry all the burden of possibility. Send a text with your feelings and tell her if it is over then she can send you a text and you just need to know so you’re not being led on. And if it’s not over then she needs to FaceTime you to establish a connection again. You’re not overreacting and she might need the push because she is not good at confronting or turning people down so just give her an easy way out for your mental and emotional sake.