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Flash of my choice [199 tokens remaining]
Date: November 6, 2022
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Yeah I guess chillun, she’s just gets her hooks into me way too easily
You’re going to pay her child support and alimony if you get divorced so maybe figure out a way to let this one go.
Look, she is an EX. You should have treated her as an ex as soon as you broke up. Why remain a good friend? If she never mentioned this relationship you weren't a good friend to her. Now reciprocate. Send her a card congratulating her with whatever type of gift you wish and decline. You can remain acquaintances but stop with the good friend stuff because you are not.
I'd drop the friend like a bad joke. Not even for sleeping with my ex but for spreading videos around. If you EVER cared about her then this is incredibly insulting and a huge breach of trust. I mean wtf… there are some rare situations, like if she is an exhibitionist and actively requests he shares, but those are few and far between. I'd take a hot look and ask yourself if you want to be friends with someone who would disrespect women in this way.
Always remember yoy are in part with who you associate. If you spend time with disgusting pigs then you're just as bad.
But I am uncomfortable because he is my crush' friend…I like my crush too much
Why are you trying to justify her cheating? You´re so fucking scared of change you´re willing to justify her getting her backs blown out by a dude?.
When a partner loses a loved one and spirals out of control, You help them come back or leave. Not to bang another dude
If people want to reach out, they reach out.
It seems like he is a wonderful guy, who understands your current circumstances and your priorities of different aspects of your life. I believe if he truly loves you and wants a genuine relationship with you, he would respect your priorities at your current stage of life and wait patiently until you are less stressed with academic responsibilities.
I think what he needs now is an assurance, just as you mentioned. The thing is you guys have to communicate; you have to let him understand that you are busy on college, but at the same time truly loves him.
My opinion is for you to pickup this relationship first. From what i see this isn’t any random relationships but a well established one. If they can wait, it proves that they truly loves you.
As of your parents; i think you should communicate with them first, which is hot. If they are just uncommunicatable, perhaps find a solution to low key date him. I mean, you guys already had sex, don’t think it’ll be that nude for you to hide this.
Please DO tell me if i didn’t respond to your problems, am new on Reddit (i mean this account is 2 years old but i just recently started using it) and am really willing to give relationships advice.
That’s not fair to your child and I would need that child support. Even if you don’t need it, you could save it for college fund. And it’s not fair to his ex-fiancé. Imagine to be her. Maybe she would have broken up with him, if she knew and would have found a decent man. She doesn’t know her husband, she only knows one side of him. No, you’re not a good person. Be honest, your kid will want to know his/her daddy. And half sibling.
how was i doing that? i asked a valid question.
No. Leave it. She’s just a co-worker and you don’t owe her any deeper insight into your personal life. You think you have a deeper connection because you have feelings for her. But sharing your feelings with her will only create more intimacy between you, just the thing you don’t want.
She is just a co-worker. You don’t have to be rude, but you only owe her professionalism and politeness.
Discord Mod here, there has been a recent hike of pedophiles on discord so please be careful, we recently had to update our server recommendations to recommend all females (esp minors) to switch their dm settings from open dms to request to dm (Which should be standard practice).
I suggest taking discord away from her immediately by bringing in the parents and reporting all those groups to discord (take evidence of course).
In addition, there are most likely many pedos amongst those groups, so you might as well as bring in the authorities-authorities.
Your sister needs immediate intensive therapy, she will hate you for now, but better it gets nipped in the but than going down a criminal path.
Don't sweat about it… You are overthinking here as well. While flirting, try to keep it simple… And if you want to be in the safe spot then you need to understand if feelings are mutual.
She is not over him, when you two are having sex, in her mind it is him not you. She knows what she is doing. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.
Yes i get it but there's a practical aspect to it as my body can't have kids like mens for many years to come.
I would rather scare him off now than later.
Also the first thing I noticed on our first day was him waving and pulling faces to a little kid. I am more excited about dogs myself ?. But i know i will 90% want kids in the next 2 years once i have done work on me.
if you can’t be in a relationship with trust why be in it at all? kind of silly. you gave your coworker a ride..
My ex threatened to kill himself while we were still together and were having a fight and I refused to let him into the place I was staying because I was scared of him. I called the cops. He never threatened to kill himself again because he knew I would call his bluff, and he didn't actually want to kill himself, he just wanted me to put aside my feelings and let myself be manipulated.
He's not my problem anymore, and your ex isn't your problem. Call the cops, tell his mother, tell him to do what he wants, you don't care. Not your circus, not your monkey. He wants your energy and your attention., Don't give it to him!
So he has or had full knowledge of the situation and had the opportunity to pull out some cash to cover your fun date. WYM he didn't do it?? So go meet with his ma and get enough money for your date. Tell her she has the only card and her son needs to be a man with it rn lol.
ask her to buy the bed.
You block him everywhere and tell mutual friends about his behavior.
If you walk past him on the street, ignore him. He isn’t worth your time.
BLOCK her and stay out of this. People do not cut off their entire family on a whim, nor do they make their DYING WISH to never have them even know about the fact they had a child or died.
Do not speak to her. Do not speak to any of them. I can't even believe you are considering it.
Now that you two have progressed to making major life decisions together, he might be coping poorly with anxiety or change. I’m not excusing his anger, which is a genuine problem. I’d be concerned, too. This won’t be the first stressful situation you to have to weather together. He needs to learn how to collaborate with you as a team without judgment, disrespect, or anger, or he is going to push you away, just like he is doing right now.
Communication is key. You need to tell him what you told us. He needs to know how his actions make you feel. Since this is your house, not his, I’m assuming you own it completely? I don’t really think he has the right to impose on you, then. He can have his preferences but you sound like a reasonable person and if he can’t work with you, you should put your foot down and set boundaries. It’s not your fault; you’re being reasonable, and he’s not.
I know conflict is no fun, but he’s bringing it to you, and you shouldn’t back down, because it just enables his bad behavior.
As far as keeping the spark alive: I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s healthy for couples to have time to themselves. Now, if his behavior manifests as spending eight hours at a time holed up in his gaming cave, that might be an issue… Have you seen hints of that already?
One of the best ways to keep things connected once you move on with a busy every day life is to set aside time, very explicitly and intentionally, just for the two of you to have activities together. Think of it like making an appointment for relationship-building.
Unfortunately, I need to wait 8 months until the lease is up. My mom cosigned it. Plus he still owes me $600.
Thinking on telling him it's in his best interest to get me that money by the move out date, or not talk to him ever again.
I honestly just want to get away from him.
Ain’t nothing wrong with you my boy. Can’t say the same about ur girl. Don’t feel inadequate, there’s plenty of girls that love average or even smaller. Keep swinging that hammer and you’ll find a girl that won’t do shit like that.
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Being a single mom isn’t easy, but there’s always the sperm donor route. Better than staying with an irresponsible liar
Run. Fast.
recommends
Key word and APP recommends the first 6 months.
We arrived the 23rd and I felt totally fine, even brought work out clothes and gym equipment. I was hit like a fire truck over night. But thank you for the sage advice.
My thoughts are you and this 'woman' are trashy cheaters that will have a miserable relationship and will constantly accuse each other of being cheaters.
But it’s not relevant at all to what the OP is going through in the situation she describes. Hearing “women are also capable of being shitheads” doesn’t help her. She’s not using sex as a reward. So how does your comment help her?
LMAO OP you are a clown
?
You probably will and just won't realize it tbh ?
My spouse has bipolar disorder and rarely works….However, I made it clear that I left my ex husband because he wouldn't get help for his mental health, so if he wanted to be with me he at the bare minimum needs to be getting treatment for his mental health. Now he has enough of a track record of quitting jobs and a life skills coach that he can apply for disability.
This is untenable for you guys. Something has to give. He needs to do something or his depression will get worse.
Don't be afraid of an ultimatum. You just need to decide what is important to you.
If it happens then that is unfortunate but wouldn't you rather go into it and expect it to go fine? I think the worst case scenario is if he is fine but you being doubtful gets in the way. It is better to be disappointed if you expect it to be great, rather than being anxious enough that it guarantees it is not good. If that makes sense.
You have every right to be angry, he has been a complete arse. I am so sorry.
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Nah just one
You people are nuts. Why have kids with someone like this?
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He doesn't know the meaning of “no” or “stop” to the point she has to repeatedly say it? That's not something you have to “teach” someone especially at his age. Seriously, give him a book? Sure, lets go find him a book for 5 year olds on what the meaning of no is if he is genuinely that dense.
I have considered it but for now it's not really an option to do it together as we attend college in different cities and also I don't really have money to invest in gym, as I don't have a job and I would need to rely on my parents for that as well. But as soon as I get a job I'm willing to try it out of course.
Depends on what kind of work culture and relationship they have. Lots of people at work have my personal number for emergencies, especially since I work from home a lot. It would be great if they would give me a work phone but I’m not high ranking enough. Either way, unless someone is harassing me, I’m not going to block them or refuse to give them my number. But I know in other work places this would seem very strange.
I definitely wouldn't put up with it. Either you choose me or you lose me. Whether you can put up with it is up to you.
Indian origin woman here. What his girlfriend is doing is called brown fishing in Asian communities including Indian. We also call it black fishing if she goes to extent of tanning in which her skin becomes black in tone. As an Indian who is mistaken frequently for being white European, I know why it’s an issue. We have lot of black communities historically in various Asian countries. Next, Asian countries are already fighting against skin lightening, colorism, white worshipping and white validation issues, which is apparent to be a big problem in comment section here. For example, in india a light skin actress will be colored black or brown in skin tone for a role while actresses who are of the said skin color will not be given the same role because they are of dark skin tone. Supporting such ignorance isn’t okay. Also, Asian communities itself are recently realizing how they have used light skin actors to make fun of dark skin tone people all across media and in real life. It has an impact on people. Dark skin tone people face lot of discrimination in Asia. His gf is doing a privilege nonsense.
Thank you for this
Everyone is different. He actually may not mind her talking to you. So like I said, if you feel uncomfortable, end the friendship. Of course, you wouldn't just ghost her. You'd let her know that you think it's a bit much and she should confide in her actual partner. She's not your responsibility whatsoever Hun but I see that you feel like she is somehow. Good luck.
No it won't. It will be brought up by her Attorney and used against him.
Yea I completely agree, at this point I just want to stay friends and if anything happens and I still feel like it could be worth pursuing then maybe. I just think time is the best thing for the situation.
How much time does he really give you in a week?
This does not sound like a lasting relationship.
It just sounds sad that you hardly spend any quality time together. You even mention when you are together he’s working.
What are you getting out of this relationship?
“You're my mom and I love you very much. What happened between you and Dad was between you and Dad and I had nothing to do with it. It is both unfair and manipulative to expect your own child to choose one of you over the other.
I'm sorry you're hurting. But asking me to cut ties with my own dad is not a healthy recipe for healing for either one of us.
If you continue to try to force me to choose between the two of you, you might not like the results.”
Jfc, this is ridiculous.
Agreed.
Ive tried to support it, ive said i dont mind if he does, but the issue is I want a form of honesty from him to at least tell me when he does because if i want to have sex that day he happens to, then if we do he cant finish. It just makes me feel undesirable ya know?
I talked about how I treat relationships seriously, and he agreed. When he told me his life plans, that was the first time he mentioned he only wants casual dating and to online alone, etc. it was a shock because I thought we were on the same page, and when realizing we weren’t, I ended it immediately.
Was he planning to purpose on her too?
*porpoise
You are 100% focused on what he should be doing for you, how you feel, what you need. Relationships are two way, he sounds like you are just draining him
this^
I agree, I also made sure to note that the reasons for couples therapy was apparently for “trust and communication,” OP did not have a trust problem, she had a cheating husband problem. Also, just because a couple has communication problems does not mean that a person is allowed to cheat. The husband's reasons for saying that couples therapy is needed was just a convenient way to give blame to OP. While couples therapy can be incredibly important for an issue like this, there is no good faith effort made by OP's husband and no real remorse either. Trying to “work on the marriage” was just a way to string OP along until they got back to Utah.
'I know I can be a nagging bitch'
There used to be a nagging defence in the UK where a man had claimed his wife was a nag and it was considered as mitigation for killing (i.e. murdering) their wife.
That's what I hear here.
I am going to be very blunt – strangling/choking is a predictor murder. He has already attempted to murder you. Next time he may very well kill you, or the time after that.
Get to a safe place and report this abusive piece of shit to the police.
Why do people stay with partners who have cheated on them?
She has already shown you how little she cares about monogamy.
She is going to do it and she is going to how she doesn’t get caught. But if she does, she knows she can get away with it since you’ve already forgiven her more than once.
The stakes are low for her since you’ve given up your dignity in this relationship.
Is this how you want to online?
Date someone your own age and grow up.
Ok, being together and communicating is not the issue. This is how you express issues. I don't know how bad these arguments are. I don't know if you should or should not be together, but constant fighting kills the love.
What I will say is blocking her number is what you do to an Ex. Unfollowing is not done to a loved one unless there is a critical issue where the posts are disturbing.
What if there is an actual emergency? She's going to need to borrow a phone so you get a call from an unknown number?
She is right. This is a breakup. If you didn't mean for it to be, you need to try hot to walk it back… first with her phone number where you text her about being an idiot and apologizing for going too far.
That’s why he asked the 14 year old!!! He knew she wasn’t going to tell him it’s inappropriate even if she felt it was. You are clueless and should not be living with a woman with teenage daughters!!!’
OP, I think you’ve overreacting. You guys are partners right? Why are you treating him like some enemy? He was just thinking about being intimate with you and wondering “will it be the same after the baby” and asked you, and you exploded on him. Take it easy, it was just a question.
I wouldn't want you alone with my child either if I was him. You keep downplaying your actions, YOUR child have died because of your inability to take care of them and neglet. Of course he doesn't trust you, stuff like that is hot to get past. The one time he went out to relax you decide it would be the time to watch her alone? You could have picked any other time. Obviously professional help is needed for you both individually and as a pair
Do you factor in the absolute shitshow of patriarchy that those countries are ?
Because that’s a wiiiiild take you got there …
He says his wife struggles with having a purpose and he tells her to stop working…
Huh? It mainly just sounds like he was trying to sincerely help someone in need, was willing to make that sacrifice and thought his wife was onboard because she never said she wasn’t when asked. I get that now the wife comes first but this doesn’t sound bizarre to me. Some people care about others and want to help people in pain
Eh – I think it's good that you ended things because you didn't seem happy. LDRs are very hot. Always? No. But damn, they certainly can be. It seems that you had doubts after trying to get back together – other guys intentions, running into the Nick dude again, the what ifs, and it still being long distance as before. It sounds like she broke up because she wanted to try dating Michael who was physically closer to her (my apologies if I misunderstood that part). The distance between is still the same. A good indicator of future behavior is past behavior (and yes, people change for the better as well). But is that and your insecurities worth being unhappy for a relationship that may or may not work out in the end? If you're good, then it's good.
It sounds as if this is who she is. If you manage to persuade her to change, she'll be tidy for a couple of weeks then slide back into messiness. So you either love her as she is, or you split up. That's the choice.
I don't think you are crazy. I can see how you feel, a mom doesnt have to talk about her son's sexual activity in front of his wife. It's not wrong, but if you are not comfortable it should not happen. Would you be more comfortable being intimate if no one ever mentionned it? Maybe bring that up. “I'm kind of in the mood right now, but we both know your mom will make a big deal about it tomorrow morning so it's kind of a turn off.” Or maybe talk to your MIL and straight up tell her.
Your partner is an asshole around her in her perspective. I don’t care how you feel about it, if what he says makes her uncomfortable then that is all that matters. If you continue to think it’s fine then you are also the asshole. And the fact you think the 8 out of 10 comment was fine in the situation, makes you a pretty shitty parent….
The first year of any relationship is the time when you find out if you’re compatible. It always starts out great. It’s what comes after that, that you pay attention to. You aren’t compatible. It does not mean the other person did anything wrong. It’s just not a fit. Honestly this sounds exhausting. It isn’t going to go the distance. The kind thing to do is end it now rather than later. The longer you stay, the more you will hurt her.
Well, there's your … well, not answer, but response, anyway.
You can accept it … or not.
Your move.
How is that not control? Of course you are allowed to leave him.
You don't need permission to end a relationship.
If he is trying to prevent you from leaving, I would recommend enlisting the help of family and friends (preferably your parents if you have a good relationship with them.)
Unfortunately it is evident from your responses that you are too young to realise just how fucked up al this behaviour is, which is exactly what he was counting on by dating younger.
I wish you the best if luck and hope you can get out of this and be free to make your own choices.
Open relationships are a huge taboo, mostly because people don’t bother actually thinking about it and just assume they’re bad.
Open relationships are not that uncommon, and they’re healthy for a couple with good communication skills. As long as you’re both open and honest, go for it.
Anyone with a sens of logic knows that being with a gambler will lead to nothing but financial stress. Stop bailing him out of his bad decisions. Keep your money for yourself and ask him to really work hot on this dumb habit/addiction so you can have a future together.
Let actions speek, not words from here on out.
Tell her you wish her well but you have realized she was right and breaking up was the right choice. Then sort out the separation details as friendly as possible.
And while you should never say this out loud, thank the great spaghetti god that this happened. You will be grateful eventually. You both are young, and she clearly isn’t ready for a more settled lifestyle. Mourn the end of the relationship, remember the good and learn from this what you don’t want in the next relationship and what you don’t want to repeat.
Your most likely right. Theres no where i can go though. I work in the same area i online, i dont have a car, and telling her i need some space is just going to hurt her. I knew i was going to back off someday… ugh
Check out the book Attached.
Focus on yourself. Learn and grow.
I'm sorry, but I'm having trouble understanding. You destroyed your child's familiar unit through your own selfishness, cheated on your partner, and refuse to even acknowledge the shitty things you did. Now you think you're owed something? This kid doesn't owe you shit, and I truly hope he goes NC with you for his own wellbeing. If this is real, I doubt you will understand what an abusive narcissist you are, but let's break it down;
you said: “My son was the only child of ours living in the house with his mother following the separation, as our older daughter had already moved out by then. I feel like this led to him having more distance from me due to being around his mother during this time, and influencing him against me in some ways.” But you admitted that you cheated on his mother and broke up the family while he was a teenager. How is his justified hatred of you his mother's fault? He also included some other things he was not happy about with the relationship between him and I (admittedly we didn't have the best relationship when he was in high school, as I had extra work coaching a local football team, as it had been my dream to move up in that industry, while I worked my usual 9-5 construction manager job). You obviously have a history of choosing yourself over your son. Why would you think he wouldn't be upset about that? “In the list of grievances he had, he included the fact that I had never apologized to his mother for cheating on her, which I didn't think was his business, nor had I apologized to him doing what I did, which I also didn't think was necessary as it was an issue between his mother and I. He took particular issue with the fact I had apologized for the situation and not apologizing for what I did.” How is your refusal to acknowledge destroying his family not his business? And why the fuck didn't you apologize to anyone for your fully shitty behavior? “As he invited me to the accommodation I booked it immediately, and assumed he had extended that invitation to my partner. So I booked for both of us jointly and paid jointly.” He couldn't even stomach seeing a picture of the woman who helped you destroy his family, why in hell would he want her there? It's his wedding, a celebration of love and future marriage. She (and you) ruined his mother's marriage. How can you not see how fucked it was to invite her? “Hi son yes sorry I haven't replied but to be honest your message has caused me some emotional stress. I had just done 3 days and nights work with very little sleep so was a bit emotionally drained.” How can you possibly see yourself as the victim here? You were emotionally drained? What the fuck about him- the son you coldly shut out for years that tried to be strong and reconnect with you? “I guess the fact that your mother allowed me to be invited to stay there gave me a false sense of hope. Might have been a lot more accepting for me if I hadn't already booked and paid for the expensive accommodation with our money that we are not going to be able to share.” Well then, you should have asked him first. Don't you fucking dare try to blame him. “I know this sounds selfish but when you are in a relationship you want to be sharing things together.” Every word out of your mouth sounds selfish. It truly does not sound like you give a single shit about your son. “I know the issues are mostly mine to deal with for now but I had to let you know how I was feeling as it has rolled around in my head for a week trying to work out how to address it.” Everything here is wrong. They are solely your issue to deal with; you made your bed, now lay in it. You had now need or reason to try and drop this on your child as if your assholery was somehow their fault. “TL;DR: My son has not responded to a text where I assumed I could invite my partner (who I cheated on his mother with) to his wedding.” Just typing this should have made you realize what an asshole you are.
I didn't even go into how awful and indelicate you were when you had the audacity to have a full 'discussion' with your son about the woman who helped you destroy his family. It's obvious you don't respect your wife or son as people, and I wonder if you truly respect anyone meaningfully. I truly hope this is a shitpost because you sound like the lowest form of human garbage, and yet you somehow think you're the victim. Do your old family a favor and stay the fuck away from them.
Yes this is very true. It took about 3 years of therapy for me to unlearn all that.
You took off to another state to start your new life with your AP and left him behind. What do you expect? Why would he want to share anything with the woman he perceives to have taken his Dad away from him? He's grown into the man he wants to be, and by limiting contact with you, is making it very clear he has no intention of being anything like his Father. You made your choice dude. You prioritised a homewrecker over your relationship with your child. He'll never forget that feeling.
If your wife is willing to divorce you if you don't want any more kids what kind of foundation is that for a long term marriage? She is basically saying her way or the highway, what an unreasonable person.
OP, you need to stick to your guns and say no because if you say yes just to appease her and she gets pregnant again, your life will not get any easier, it will only get harder on every level. One of you needs to be the sane one.
Please come back and update when you find out. I'm hoping it's something incredibly boring but feel this need to know.
You are spoiling him with things when what he wanted was a family who loved him and spent time with him like you do with your younger children, he feels like the mistake you made at college is all he will ever be and that his 3 younger siblings are the preferred family. Yes you spoiled him and bought him things but he didn’t feel connected to you or his father and he didn’t ever get the family he should have had.
You broke a huge promise you made to her while she was recovering from delivering YOUR child. You're an idiot and you have really damaged your relationship. It looks like you're trying to downplay what you did.
The fact that she was in recovery from giving birth makes this 10000x more horrible.
Well, that baggie of coke he found will deff be the most expensive bag you’ve ever purchased. Hope it was good.
Your behavior going forward is the only way to build trust. You may as well consider the tuition help over though
This argument makes the girl a rapist though.
How can someone consent to sex if they are too drunk to even remember they gave their phone number?
Yeah he might actually have to gasp take care of his own kids if OP leaves him!
Thank you. I really appreciate your response. I'll read up on that today. I'm heading back home tomorrow and wanted to have a better understanding of what is going on before I get back into this situation
This is just fucking strange. If he is going to be that way when you were just stating how you felt I would end it. But I have a sneaking suspicion that those are not the words you used and you were pouting.
I think it’s time to lay out what your future plans are, ask him what his are and see how they align. That’s not you pressing him for anything.
‘Maybe’ after 6 months of relationship and spending almost all weekends together isn’t good enough. Does he want marriage, kids? If so what does his timeline look like? Does he see himself with you? If not, what would he need to see himself with you? Or is it a complete no? Plus anything else you can think of you want to ask.
Telling him what you want in your own future is not forcing him to do anything. Either he can work with you to merge your futures, or leave if he doesn’t want those things
I would not be with someone who wasn’t sure he wanted to be with me. Enough to schedule a “propose or break up” date. You mention things you are doing to be a better partner to him, but is he a good partner to you? A good partner wouldn’t need 10 more months after spending three years to decide if you “make the cut”. Get a therapist, work on your self-esteem, and tell this dude you’re reevaluating your priorities in life and what you deserve, so you’ll let him know if you want to continue with the relationship or not by June.
Yes but OP specifically said they struggled with gender pronouns in the bedroom so that's why we're confused I think
Lol who said anything about moving in or getting engaged?
I do agree and I have told him I want to move on but he always says why can’t you just be normal and we be a normal couple … it’s very confusing
1.) It doesn't matter whether it's a sexual thing or not. You want monogamy, he wants poly, and instead of making the choice between you and poly, he's trying to manipulate you into giving him both, even though he knows it will make you unhappy.
2.) They are 100% gonna gang up on you. Why else would they even want to have this sit down?
3.) Do you feel happy and loved? I'm hearing a whole lot about his feelings, I'm not hearing anything good about yours.
You deserve better than this shit.
Haha he could use some bed bugs! He’s silly because he performed as I would expect a troll to. They get all crybabyish at first, when they realize they can’t handle the trolling back at them, they play the “witchcraft” card as their end game, He’s unoriginal and certainly not the first clown shoe to do that. And yikes, I hope he doesn’t own guns, or wind up fooling a woman. I hate the thought of why he’s seeking Asian women, it’s sickening. ?
I understand what you mean, OP, but if you bend over backwards to accommodate someone in your life who doesn't want what you want, doesn't have the same priorities you do, you are going to get hurt. Don't become polyamorous for one guy. Do it because you want to do it. Sometimes two people can love each other dearly but still not be compatible.
Ok, so Julie is hurt and upset because of post-partum? And she should see someone? I think you're just as nuts as Amy. If this shit went down in my relationship Amy would have been literally thrown out of the house with all her shit…. packed or unpacked.
I'm 55. You'd probably blame menopause. One of those guys that blames everything on menstruation, post partum, menopause. We're allowed to get angry and have emotions without these factors involved
Your gf is biphobic. It doesn't matter what she says to try and counter this, she still is.
It DOES make her the bad guy and you SHOULD break up with her over this. It's only been 3 months and she is CLEARLY not comfortable dating a bi dude. This is disgusting. Wake up.
You didn’t make him this way his father did and then he’s perpetuated it into what he is now. I’m sorry honey but you need to get away from this guy. He’s the one that’s causing your depression and all of your mental issues by dragging you down into his pit. He is in need of serious I mean serious, psychological treatment. He is basically a non-functioning human and you need to get yourself away from that.
Instead of asking for advice and trying to ask him to stick to the original plan, why wouldn’t you just tell him no thanks and you’ll take an Uber. Problem solved.
Nope! The iud will do NOTHING to protect from STDs. Also, I would never leave protection of my body and unwanted pregnancy on anyone else.
Wear condoms. The iud is irrelevant. If she insists, end it.
You are already checked out and are just waiting for him too mess up again. Why waste time? Just end it now.
“I got this unexplainable enjoyment out of seeing them go from anxious to relieved every time I took my knife away from their skin. See? I was never going to hurt them, even if the probability of me hurting them was 90%”
Omg yes, that's exactly it. Really strong “angel of death” vibes from OP.
But the girl he had the dream about, he knew her in real life as well, they used to spent a lot of time together
Good luck – just tell her
And hang with her male co-worker
Overstepping boundaries is not a crime and some of us have had a very unhealthy or weird upbringing. That does not make such behaivors okay but it also never helps to blow shit out of porpotion.
On Reddit?
No, but you said poly is stupid PERIOD. I agree in this situation (raising poly in a settled, monogamous relationship), but I have known poly relationships that worked out.
This. Thank you – I don't think I have ever felt heartbreak like this, and man does it hurt.
But, healing starts with separation.
This is really sad. It sounds as if your partner is stuck in some type of depression, and can’t seem to get out. Made worse by lack of support. And yes, taking the animals away would be harmful. Especially if she has no one.
No one can tell you what to do, only you can decide that. However, if you’re going to leave, then leave now. Tell her why. But also explain that nothing will make you stay. And get out as fast as possible.
I wish you both luck.
Me i would throw it right back at her and talk to someone on video chat for.hours and see how they like it… thats the cynical side of me…. but this behavior is complete bullshit and anyone defending this shit needs an awakening… either put your foor down and says this is BS and you stop this or just ghost her. Dont be mat, as in doormat.
Amen, brother! I would trade my Queen for nothing as she’s everything I wanted and needed and then some. Enjoy each other and don’t let anyone attack what you have!
Yes that's way too fast
Why is this detail buried in the comments and not made clear in your post?
Why do you say that?
You’re absolutely right. I am a political science grad and read about politics all the time. If you went to CNN website right now there’s probably 40 or so headlines on the main page. I’d wager 99% of them are negative. These news networks work off profits so they show what people think they want to hear. But it’s all negative and depressing.
There’s a lot of good that happens in the world, but the news doesn’t report on it.
Just tell him to stop talking about it all the time. You don’t mind hearing the occasional thing but to be drowned in negativity is annoying when mental health is a real thing.
He either respects your wishes or he doesn’t. If he doesn’t, just walk away from him. You don’t have to turn miserable but just show him you aren’t going to play that game.
Why the extra step?
Not so exclusive? They were dating. Sure it was the start of their dating, but nothing in that says “not so exclusive.” Let's not make excuses
She hooked up with the ex well dating OP and “did stuff” who know what that means with another guy well they were exclusive, hooking up is fucking someone so their is that plus add in the second instance of cheating proving it is more then one fumble. Then she lies to him for twenty years well still obsessing over the ex and you have a women who doesnt deserve marriage because she is a cheat who clearing isnt fully invested in OP
This relationship sounds dead anyway, so leaving it makes sense. Why has your sex life been dormant for months? That seems like it’s the under laying issue at hand, yet it’s given no examination here.
“Sexually autistic” jeez☠️
This is really different stuff and maybe i should explain that in my post. As it already too late i will answer in same way to some other replies. Imagine you born here eastern europe. If its not capital city, they are maybe 5000, 10000 people here. So you are going to school, high school with the same people. If you dont have childhood friend you are f*cked. Yeah then you go to university but even her you meet some people lol. And count if you are maybe shy, and people are simply cold by nature and not welcoming to strangers….as i write to some person i have so many friend that i have to need do two stag parties. But this is extremely uncommon here
Girl – I’m on TikTok and I get served that bullshit all the time about “if he’s not ____ then he doesn’t love you”. Outside of the videos discussing mutual respect, love, communicating with your partner – the material stuff is BULLSHIT. Relationships are never 50/50, they just can’t be. One person at various points will always be giving more or receiving more, or need more support than the other. It’s important to not be completely abandoned or be with someone who falls into weaponized incompetence – but that doesn’t seem to be the case in your relationship.
Yes – your partner should go out of their way to make you feel loved and cared for, and you should feel supported by them. BUT if your only metric is material goods and feeling like they’re spending money on you – you’re in for a badddd time.
My boyfriend and I aren’t really big gift people, but we show love my actions, planning date nights for each other, spending quality time. I also make more money than my boyfriend so I wouldn’t ask him to spend money he may not have when I can buy things for myself and make myself happy. I’m not even saying gifts can’t be your love language – but holding someone to the impossible standard set by TikTok teenagers who have no idea what a real relationship looks like is a recipe for disaster.
You may be asking for too much financially, he might not be able to afford that dresses that you want. You are fine to ask I guess, but what, you want him to spend money he doesn’t have just to make you feel better?
You’re young and discovering what relationships are and can be – DO NOT LET TIKTOK DEFINE YOUR RELATIONSHIP.
Any outsiders perspective here?
^ This is exactly how the abuse started in my last relationship
I’ve been with a guy who was uncircumcised. It didn’t smell at all and although it was different for me lol, I didn’t have any issues with it at all. Your boyfriend is clearly not cleaning himself right. If you’re not into uncircumcised penises and you almost threw up, I would suggest ending the relationship.
Dump the guy. He's obviously an abusive misogynist.
Bullshit.
Being a fan of trump isn’t just a sign of political ignorance (or malevolence or both), it’s also a sign of moral rot.
Even if Trump was actually good for the economy (he’s not btw) his vast corruption, clear alignment with russia, and mishandling of covid means someone who thinks trump being “good for the economy” is more important than the lives of the people Trump was supposed to be acting in service to.
That’s “children dying in coal mines is fine as long as my retirement fund goes up” morality.