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jenovakitty, 27 y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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His gf is the jealous one who needs to knock it off. No adult should have full access to someone else’s phone. It’s a ridiculous precedent that is so damn controlling.
IMO, you and your friends have made the only reasonable choice by limiting what you text him. If you now know that everything you send him could be seen by someone else, why keep sending him personal info?
I feel like this girl needs to build trust bit by bit but shouldn't doubt the group or read the messages of her boyfriend. Or it would have been better if she was added into the group if she wants to know things. But to some extent she is getting to this guy's neck which might spoil your friendship.
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Yeah that kinda sucks. Just think of Christmas eve as Christmas honestly it's not about the day but the people. However I suggest you get comfy pajamas, blanket, snacks, beer or wine if you enjoy that and pick a show of movie series to binge.
Maybe it's because you're comparing a city to a state.
I really wish I could go back and tell my younger self this, “run! His exs are not crazy.” When someone tells you they had crazy Xs it is often them that drove them to it.
Ooof that alone would be a dealbreaker for me.
Don’t trust him when he says he loves you. He’s a proven liar.
Three strike rule. Give him one more chance. If some unforeseeable tragedy strikes again, then maybe it's just the universe telling you that you don't belong together.
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Dogs in the bed aren't great for a relationship. A bed should be for quality sleep and quality sex – dogs don't help with either.
As someone who has had a history of bad insomnia due to bad mental health, I would suggest that these are probably the main issue – but he's using the dogs as a reason for not sleeping.
I had issues with cannabis and videogame addiction – both causing anxiety and overall bad mental health. If your boyfriend is playing highly stimulating videogames late into the night, that will have very negative effects to his mental health and sleep quality.
Try having the dogs sleep in the lounge for the nights your boyfriend stays over – this should lower his sleep anxiety and improve his chances of sleep. Encourage him to make better behavioural routines, exercise, seek therapy, play less video games – all these things will really help improve his sleep.
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Thank you for your reply but your prejudgment of my personality as well as the over-all tone of your post is not exactly conducive to making me taking your advice seriously.
It doesn’t but they’ve had 11 good years after that, and if the evil b**** of a friend didn’t have anything more recent as ammo I do believe that much given no cheating of any kind with other people past that.
So if you had what you know now to be 2 bad years to start I’d probably trust the most recent 11 years to be the person he is today.
You’re still incredibly justified to be hurt though.
By hurting alone she’s probably going through cycles of most likely damaging self and blaming friend and husband(rightfully so for these people).
Trouble is, the only good that does is make her increasingly resentful(don’t blame her) and less likely to be able to move past it if she wants to make the marriage work.
Before she makes a decision either way or let’s that cycle continue, I would challenge her to communicate which is the only cure for resentment being built, which would allow her to get clarity on unknowns and express her feelings.
So I would have OP write down all the questions in her head that she would want answers to, write down all the hurt she’s feeling, and have a frank discussion he deserves to be a part of where he answers those and faces that.
If he can’t do that, then maybe OP’s been wearing rose colored glasses to the reality of the relationship here, and should start asking more questions to move toward a divorce.
That would be the only thing in my head that could give them a shot to move past this. She needs to express the feelings she’s building and feels, and he needs the opportunity to be accountable for his actions.
If she doesn’t I think this goes far longer and is much more painful than it needs to be making a decision on the future.
My therapist calls this “anal cranial inversion syndrome.”
And he was in the area while she was pregnant for nineish months, but not a word got to him or his brother?
There’s been so many occasions where I bring stuff up the next day and he either can’t remember, or says I’m making it up.
He has a drinking problem if he is blacking out. He mad a fool of himself and left you alone in a bar, in a city you don't know. Not remembering doesn't excuse his behaviour. He should be apologizing profusely. If he doesn't agree to stop drinking I would leave… this kind of thing will keep happening if he continues to drink.
this was my plan, but i’m not really sure how to portray it without making her feel like she’s doing something wrong.
she doesn’t work and has no car, so she generally asks since the campus’s food is gross. it’s usually cheaper food, but still can’t help but feel some type of way about it when paired with the other stuff
It's probably the best thing to do in this case. the relationship wasn't healthy to begin with. With you demanding intimacy and getting jealous of a dream. And him so casually over sharing. You both need to grow up.
I think people should leave each other’s phones alone.
I think people should leave each other’s phones alone.