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Jim vs Jules, 22 y.o.
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On-line Live Sex Chat rooms Jim vs Jules
Date: October 28, 2022
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You need help my friend, you may have mental health problems but that does not make you crazy. It could be easily fixable by talking to a professional. Just by reading that, it seems your dad could have played a part, if this is the case, they will explain how the brain works so you understand what is happening, the will give coping mechanisms.
Nvm just went down further and saw he’s cheated multiple times
Take this from a 30yo who has been dating a sea of assholes in her life – a girl best friend is the first red flag 😉 He is engaging in sexual behaviour with her. Kick him to the curb.
For me, i got divorced early thirties. It was going out, concerts, festivals, dancing. My ex husband was the one to drag me doen, set expectations, bitch about everything I saw as a potential hobby, say money was tight. I couldn't explore myself and what I would like in life. It's not all always about finding D. I met my boyfriend later and he's the only I've had but he encourages hobbies, we go out and explore together, or stay home and explore with food, in bed, try hobbies. But he also does let me go out, even comes dancing with me. And yes, raves are fun, Molly feels good (though responsible at home use only for me), psychedelics are fun and helpful when used correctly. Doesn't mean she wants D…
I certainly agree but I have seen sooo many posts on here similar to mine where the husband’s behavior is explained away/excused, and the woman is “prudish” for having an issue with these types of things. It sucks.
I really hope this is a joke but I don’t think it is.
I don’t care what you look like or how much you weigh. No man should EVER treat you like that or even suggest it after the emotional abuse he’s put you through. Talk with him about how it made you feel and set boundaries. Yes, sex can cause us to do some weird things that are outside our comfort zone (looking at you anal) but you shouldn’t feel ashamed about it. My partner would never suggest to have sex with my thunker thighs or even call them that (even though I do)because he knows my body image is already shit.
Sending all my positive vibes, thoughts, and love your way OP. You don’t deserve this.
I am bracing myself for some downvotes here, but here goes…
There is no disputing that your life is YOURS and you don’t need anyone’s permission to live! it as you choose to. Not society’s permission, your daughter’s permission, or the internet’s permission. So that’s that. If you don’t want to babysit/nanny your grandchild- don’t.
But making decisions means living with the consequences and just because you have the right to tell your daughter how you feel and set a boundary, doesn’t mean that she can’t then do the same with you.
Your post says you are 57, which means you were born around 1966. Your son is 35 and your daughter is 32, so you became a mom around 1988 when you were 22.
1988 is not 1958, or even 1968, or 1978. Women were fully in the work force in 1988. You didn’t HAVE to be a mom at 22. You had access to birth control. It was accessible to any woman who chose to take it. The average age of marriage in 1988 was 27 for men and 25 for women, so you married younger and had children younger than your peers. My point being- you made choices and those choices have consequences.
You also say that your oldest son stayed at home until age 35 and his additional needs left you feeling drained and tied down. You want your freedom and are done with parenting- which is totally understandable.
But your daughter is married and having her first child at 32. So I am guessing she didn’t stay at home nearly as long as her brother. You didn’t take a tough stance when your son needed support and tell him you were tired and done with parenting. You exhausted yourself with him and now you are taking a very hot stance with your daughter when she wants some help.
It is what it is! She will likely think that you coddled your son and are too hard with her. She will think you are unwilling to offer her help when she needs it. It may affect your relationship with your daughter and your grandchild. It is a consequence of the choices we all make.
You could have waited to have kids until you lived more of your youth but you didn’t. You could have made different choices for your son that weren’t so taxing on you but you didn’t. You aren’t a victim, you are an empowered women who had made many choices that have consequences and the choice to tell your daughter that you are done with parenting duties is one you should make but also know that it will have consequences as all choices do.
I moved in a day. Right before I got sober in the 90s I was in an abusive relationship. It was my only one and I had a friend come with his truck and we packed up everything two dogs and a cat while he was at work. So it can be done. You can rent storage by phone and have somebody come over with the truck and pull everything out and put it in the storage. You’re in Britain so that may be slightly bred different. That is if you want to leave. But if he has a temper, I wouldn’t risk it. People are accidentally killed every day by somebody they didn’t think that harm them like that.
I am bracing myself for some downvotes here, but here goes…
There is no disputing that your life is YOURS and you don’t need anyone’s permission to live it as you choose to. Not society’s permission, your daughter’s permission, or the internet’s permission. So that’s that. If you don’t want to babysit/nanny your grandchild- don’t.
But making decisions means living with the consequences and just because you have the right to tell your daughter how you feel and set a boundary, doesn’t mean that she can’t then do the same with you.
Your post says you are 57, which means you were born around 1966. Your son is 35 and your daughter is 32, so you became a mom around 1988 when you were 22.
1988 is not 1958, or even 1968, or 1978. Women were fully in the work force in 1988. You didn’t HAVE to be a mom at 22. You had access to birth control. It was accessible to any woman who chose to take it. The average age of marriage in 1988 was 27 for men and 25 for women, so you married younger and had children younger than your peers. My point being- you made choices and those choices have consequences.
You also say that your oldest son stayed at home until age 35 and his additional needs left you feeling drained and tied down. You want your freedom and are done with parenting- which is totally understandable.
But your daughter is married and having her first child at 32. So I am guessing she didn’t stay at home nearly as long as her brother. You didn’t take a tough stance when your son needed support and tell him you were tired and done with parenting. You exhausted yourself with him and now you are taking a hard stance with your daughter when she wants some help.
It is what it is! She will likely think that you coddled your son and are too naked with her. She will think you are unwilling to offer her help when she needs it. It may affect your relationship with your daughter and your grandchild. It is a consequence of the choices we all make.
You could have waited to have kids until you lived more of your youth but you didn’t. You could have made different choices for your son that weren’t so taxing on you but you didn’t. You aren’t a victim, you are an empowered women who had made many choices that have consequences and the choice to tell your daughter that you are done with parenting duties is one you should make but also know that it will have consequences as all choices do.
Sooooo having empathy means he still has feelings? I can’t imagine not caring about someone’s feelings in this situation, regardless of their history.
You need to rehome that dog and breakup. That poor door is a prisoner in your house. And your bf clearly doesn’t care about your opinions.
Since you’re 40 years old (and still on Reddit I might add)
Lol whut? Are you planning to leave the internet when you turn 40 ?
Reddit isn't Logans Run ffs?
Either she is cheating, or she is okah supporting her friend cheating on their husband. Either way, she clearly does not value relationships, and either thinks cheating is acceptable, or actively engages in it. Either way, I'd be running.
This doesn't sound like a healthy relationship. Its your life, is this how you want to live!… Is he connected to criminals is that why your afraid to take action ? If not dude has issues…go to the authorities, report him… he is making death threats By not doing anything to protect yourself you are a willing victim and giving him power.
You know everything you need to know about your ex. Meeting him or talking to him would be totally useless, TBH.
Block him, forget about him and focus on your recovery.
I guess I’m just not cut out for those then. I feel so devalued and low key used.
The thing is that anxiety can generally be managed if you really want to. I'm not saying it's easy but her attitude seems to imply she isn't optimistic about it. If my partner had any kind of health issue I'd expect them to be doing everything possible to deal with it. I might leave a diabetic who refused to manage their diet too.
Stay at your own city since they never acknowledge you as his gf anyway. Do not move back with him. Get your own place and find yourself a new boyfriend that do not have demanding values.
Girl you’re crying about a guy you’re not even super serious about? Lmaoo
Choose the best college – in terms of course, program, prestige, what you family want, what you want etc etc. You’ll deeply regret it if you make that decision for a boy/girl. I am 30 and I barely remember my HS bf
Block him on everything with no explanation.
I hope so.
I'm always supportive of opposite sex friendships and think relationship_advice is unnecessarily paranoid about them 99% of the time. This is one of the 1% where it's not paranoia.
If Alex had JUST told you he loved you and let it go when you told him you didn't feel the same way I'd say this could be salvaged, but that's not what he did. He went so far over the line he couldn't see the line with a telescope.
I feel heartbroken that Alex can’t be at our wedding, I’ve been thinking about him a lot lately, god I miss him so much. He was supposed to be apart of my wedding. As children it was our dream to be at each others weddings, Alex was supposed to help me plan.
Here's the thing, you are missing the Alex that you knew BEFORE that video call. You wanted that Alex to be a part of your wedding. You wanted that Alex in your life. But that Alex isn't available anymore, the only version of him you can get is the horrible toxic one that tried to undermine your relationship and pressure you into breaking up. That is the Alex that you would be inviting back into your lives if you called him.
Is it time to have Alex back in our lives?
No.
Do I talk to Louis about this?
Hell no. Louis has been extremely understanding of this situation so far because you have been doing all the right things. You offered to distance yourself early on, which let him trust you enough to meet the guy instead, and that went well so he didn't mind having him in your lives. Then when Alex lost his goddamned mind you told Louis everything, as you should have, and cut contact, as you should have. Things are fine with Louis right now because you did the right thing at every juncture. Inviting Alex back into your lives, for your wedding to the person he said all these horrible things about, would be an enormous mistake and a huge slap in the face to Louis.
How will Louis feel?
He'll feel betrayed and hurt and wonder if he can trust you anymore. If you're willing to go back to associating with someone who said all those things about him and about your relationship with him then he's going to conclude he may not know you as well as he thinks.
Hell, like I said earlier I am fine with opposite sex friendships as a general rule. I'm the most sympathetic audience you could have for this situation. But if I were in Louis' shoes and you came to me and said “I want Alex back in our lives” I would seriously reconsider the wedding.
Does anyone have any advice?
My advice is to stay the course. The Alex you want back is not available. That Alex is gone. It's sad that he ruined your friendship the way he did and I understand why you miss him, but you're missing a theoretical version of him that no longer exists. the version you'd be inviting back into your life is a toxic mess and it WILL seriously damage your relationship with your fiance. Don't do it.
bro watched too many rom coms
This whole relationship sounds like a Shakespeare tragedy, just leave him and be happy, he's got issues that no one seems to be able to fix.
I don't think there's any way to fix this. You don't love her anymore. The marriage was a mistake and you knew it. You caved to pressure due to her guilt. Now you are depressed.
You either stay married and stay in a position where you aren't happy or end the marriage.