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Room for on-line sex video chat Jitoon_Exe
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Languages: en
Birth Date: 2002-10-08
Body Type: bodyTypeAverage
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: January 14, 2023
Do u think she has reason to not want to be with u anymore?
Like I'm assuming it hasn't been very happy lately.
I'd speak to her about it
OMG I needed to hear this. Thank you stranger
You guys are very young, and interpersonal communication is not a strength at that age if I recall correctly. Pick your battles.
Time to call the feds on a predator
The age gap plus controlling jealousy are massive red flags. You don't need to be in a relationship like this, it's not normal. His behaviour isn't normal and he is unlikely to change. Take care of yourself and your own mental health and break it off with him.
The age gap plus controlling jealousy are massive red flags. You don't need to be in a relationship like this, it's not normal. His behaviour isn't normal and he is unlikely to change. Take care of yourself and your own mental health and break it off with him.
You’re copping some hate on here but I just want to say I think you did the right thing leaving. Your ex husband sounds like he only wanted to work on the marriage when he was losing you. That’s a selfish reason rather than one that shows he cares about you and wants you to be happy. Ignore the hate and go on-line your best life. Band mate is probably just a rebound but that’s ok.
As long as your clear – you are not the problem but you need to stop enabling your girlfriend – that is not helping her
I know that it's bros before hoes
Dude unpack that. You don't have to tear women down to appease your male friends. You're trying to help B but you're messing with Gs emotions to do that. You don't owe B so much that you need to stop talking to girls he likes because he has a crush while in a relationship.
This guy seems to be demanding a lot as a person who's been in a relationship this long. You have to ask yourself whether reducing your own happiness is worth keeping a relationship that honestly seems unfair and one sided in my view. All I'm saying is that if I were in your situation, I'd start considering whether this guy has your best interests at heart or whether he wants to have his cake and eat it too.
The question you have to answer is whether you'll let him or not.
Also… if you ever see his girlfriend, might be worth hinting this is all going on. Seems unfair on her to be in a relationship this long with someone clearly unfaithful.
I would have an honest discussion with both your children explaining all you've said here.
You've been with her for 1.5 years, no ring, no kids, and she expects to be consulted regarding your decision to go to med school? No thanks.
Mind your own business. It seems that you really want to hurt M by telling her the truth. It’s possible she knows and has had conversations with him. Your relationship with K is over —-move on and find someone else
I don’t think it’s your place to tell M. I think if you do it you are doing it just to be hurtful to her and destroy her happiness under the guise of “speaking your truth.”
We're young, but it's been like this for 4 years almost. I wish I could say he'd grow out of it.
They can help her if they feel so strongly about it. Their moralizing is really easy from the cheap seats
Hey. You probably shouldn’t offer people advice because this advice is some of the worst I’ve ever heard. It’s real dumb shit.
I don't care. I'm not going to do a super nuanced post for everything that could possibly happen. This is entirely about insecurities, so that's what I wrote about.
Your post adds literally nothing to this conversation.
This happened in the sex and the city movie iirc
WHAT THE FUCK
No. This is not cheating. Being fucking raped is never cheating. Doesn’t matter how “dishonest” you were about it.
And honestly, even if it was consensual, you were broken up at the time. You can have all the sex you want, never tell him a thing, and it still wouldn’t be cheating.
Quite frankly, you should not be with this man. Anyone who reacts aggressively to things you did when you were single is not safe to be around. And anyone who can make themselves the victim of YOUR RAPE is definitely not someone you should be around.
Why are you still talking to your ex so much? Stop that. And your friends are ridiculous. Maybe find a new group.
I don’t understand people who have that sense of “humor” that consists of putting other people down for their own laughs. Who the fuck does that? Like are you so insecure about yourself that you have to make other people feel bad to make you feel good inside? How does that make sense? I mean, I guess to them they enable eachothers behavior and no one is there to say “maybe that’s not okay”. I can’t believe you’ve put up with that for eight years, especially them being surprised when you’ve shown up to group gatherings in the past. I have really bad social anxiety and awkwardness and if my partner did that I’d instantly be leaving because that crosses the line. Just gross people I wouldn’t want in my life, and I don’t blame you for not wanting them in yours. My main goal is to be the best person that I can be to myself and others – and I know that it’ll never be perfect, but I hope that I inspire others around me to do the same. Unless you’re an asshole to me, a straight up a creep, or using me for something, I’m not one to judge.
I also want to say that as soon as one of my long term friends had a partner, it wasn’t just my me and my friend, it was myself, my friend and their partner which makes their partner my friend too. Like oh wanna hang out? Hell yeah all three of us let’s go. It’s not hot to be inclusive. And I have another good person in my life so what’s the downside? I hope you’re able to solve this and heal, whatever you choose.
One time in my drunken state I borrowed a friend’s leggings and threw them in a hamper (thought it was mine but again, drunk) and forgot about them. Took my partner’s hamper to do wash and found a WOMAN’s LEGGINGS that weren’t mine, freaked out, asked him whose they were and where they came from. Obviously he didn’t know but he was freaked out with me, trying to figure it out, willingly offering his phone and all to prove I had nothing to worry about. I figured it out and we had a good laugh then, but at no point did he lash out at me for asking a reasonable question or finding something suspicious and having a concern.
Like the other commenter responded, I think you need to focus on drumming up some desire for each other – desire is about wanting more, not having more. Check out the book Mating in Captivity by Esther Perel – I think it will really help change your perspective on this.
I don’t think you can solve this without being honest with him about what’s on your mind… I know that’s scary, but sometimes real intimacy and risk-taking is what’s needed to reignite the spark and remember that you’re two individual people. I’m not saying to be cruel about it or purposely create drama, but by withholding your feelings about this you’re not really letting him see the real you and he’s not able to react to who you really are or show up in the way you need. I know you mentioned trying to talk about the sex stuff, but it’s about more than that and he doesn’t know it. Tell him what you’re afraid of, and ask what he’s afraid of – if he can have this conversation with you honestly, it will take your relationship to a new level.
Confidence is attractive. Take your shot.
She doesn’t tend to socialize herself with people she can learn from, it always partying or smoking/drinking
Are you planning to use the car at all? If so, you could agree with her to pay towards upkeep (for example, a certain amount of money on gas and oil changes, and part of the car insurance if she is listing you on the policy). Don’t make payments on the car.
He would say that to any woman she is with. The real question is why is he with such a bitchy and controlling person? Does he not realise that break up is an option?
Instead he stays to call you names. He wants to stay and call you names because that is what he likes in a relationship.
it is my husbands that he got from his family. and it should go to his children. ALL his children.
It should, but it won't. And I am not trying to beat you up about it, I get that it is infuriating that he is clearly putting more energy into a past relationship over his current and hypothetically forever one.
But he made a choice. One he is firmly doubling down on.
Now you make yours, do you want to stay with this sort of partner?
Your girlfriend and her friend are both honestly pretty terrible. Like others have said, the fact that they seem to share shit like this is a major violation. It’s not girl talk. It’s a sexual violation.
I mean, try it again with toys, and let him know his lack of effort is really becoming a problem for you. It's not about the current lack of skill, it's the lack of willingness to try.
Did you bring him into the group? You only dated a few months yet your friends are choosing to be friends with him still? If you dated for years and there was a strong foundation of friendship I could understand it more.
I’d be happy for her but I’m a whole lot older than you. You have a lot of growth yet and seriously, counselling will help you get there.
You only control your actions and you have the same issues.
The level of impossibility is depends on what you are willing to trade off. You best have a plan or your life won’t improve. Maybe dating can’t be your priority but working more to save to get out?
You need something way more objective than a what if situation. You probably need some type of therapy to work through this, because you need to figure out where you and your girlfriend stand because you need to figure out your dynamic before the baby comes. Doing relationship drama with a newborn is such a bad idea.
Thanks. That helps to hear. I stumbled upon. She should have been more clever
Oh man, that sounds like some core red pill/ manosphere bullshit. Suggest therapy, and maybe check out some support forums to find out strategies about how to detach someone from those groups.
Oh man, that sounds like some core red pill/ manosphere bullshit. Suggest therapy, and maybe check out some support forums to find out strategies about how to detach someone from those groups.
Don't ever stay with someone because you feel pressured to do so. That's not a good reason to stay.
I think you need to go no-contact and pretend they aren’t in your life anymore. Don’t keep reaching out, or you’ll look crazy to them. No matter what happens, there will be someone else out there that makes you feel special, and you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Your partner doesn’t seem to want to put in the work to make things work.
I think you need to go no-contact and pretend they aren’t in your life anymore. Don’t keep reaching out, or you’ll look crazy to them. No matter what happens, there will be someone else out there that makes you feel special, and you deserve to be with someone who wants to be with you. Your partner doesn’t seem to want to put in the work to make things work.
What is R4R
Of course. I could never do less than that
Heck, your current boyfriend is crazy. And you’re walking on eggshells to placate him. This is VERY unhealthy.
It doesn’t matter. He doesn’t like it and it’s a reasonable and common request
I'm finally moved out and just, thank you so so so much. You've been so helpful like I can't thank you enough!! Definitely have a lot of healing to do but it's going to be lots easier living away. You're an absolute legend, I've really appreciated all your support and advice 🙂
Even if an affair is happening and the side piece is well aware of the relationship, I would still blame the cheater, unless she is raping him.
Throw the whole man away.
I told her “I’m not going to stand up to my family and I’m not going to tell you to leave”
Understandable. And I’m sorry you went through that.
I do agree and I have told him I want to move on but he always says why can’t you just be normal and we be a normal couple … it’s very confusing
Trust me, your significant other could have done worse when you guys were just friends. People test the waters on a couple of people before leaping into one and that’s probably what she did. If she ever brings that name up again, then worry. But your fine
Don't take it as a sarcasm . But you don't see each other as much as I see my friends and family. If you lived a country away it would be understandable. But my take at your situation is that you are not really close to each other. I don't know your life obviously. But what you describe is odd to my eyes. I would in fact asked for MORE , not less .
So, is there a concern that you did not talk about ?
Nope. It’s not necessarily like that. Some topic are sensitive for some people. For example people around me have been told by my medical team to avoid talking about weight gain/weight loss around me when I was younger.
Example: I’ve suffered from anorexia, I recovered, I’ve gained weight. I’ve fallen into bulimia. I recovered. I lost the weight. Pandemic. I gained a bit of weight (still healthy bmi). I started crossfit. I lost the weight. My partner knows better than to tell me “your face is round”. Because he knows that for me it’s a trigger. I know that I’m kinda of an extreme example. But yeah, I’m sure I’m not the only one.
(I’ve now recovered, I have a better relation with food and I’m “healthy”. But still commenting my body is a big no no)
Nope. It’s not necessarily like that. Some topic are sensitive for some people. For example people around me have been told by my medical team to avoid talking about weight gain/weight loss around me when I was younger.
Example: I’ve suffered from anorexia, I recovered, I’ve gained weight. I’ve fallen into bulimia. I recovered. I lost the weight. Pandemic. I gained a bit of weight (still healthy bmi). I started crossfit. I lost the weight. My partner knows better than to tell me “your face is round”. Because he knows that for me it’s a trigger. I know that I’m kinda of an extreme example. But yeah, I’m sure I’m not the only one.
(I’ve now recovered, I have a better relation with food and I’m “healthy”. But still commenting my body is a big no no)
over ten years huh? how much over?
over ten years huh? how much over?
You really could have just summarized this post to about three sentences…
You can't expect someone to shut off an entire part of their sexuality tho. Sounds like y'all aren't compatible
No, then you're just enforcing YOUR beliefs on to them, which makes you a hypocrite.
If she broke up because she did not feel loved and wanted by you, then maybe your gift is a good start. But it will take a lot more than that, and there are no guarantees.
It will take ongoing romancing for her to see you mean it, and keeping it going if she does give you another chance.
I keep thinking that it’s my trauma and not his fault, but I can’t help but worry about the next time he gets drunk
As you should. Whether you want to admit it or not, your BF sexually assaulted you while he was drunk.
How do I address this situation in a way he will understand?
What exactly is he not understanding? You've told him (in broad strokes) about your past trauma and you told him that he basically assaulted you the other night, I'm not sure what he could possibly be confused about.
should I just ignore it because he didn’t mean any harm?
I think it's a bit of a leap to say that he didn't mean any harm. Drunk or not, he's still responsible for his actions.
How many times did he keep trying after you said no? How many times did you have to physically push him off before he stopped? You can't accidentally rape someone. What he did, he did with the intentions to have sex with you regardless of what you wanted. Does that sound like someone that doesn't mean any harm to you?
Is it just my trauma speaking?
No. Your trauma is obviously part of this and is no doubt making it more difficult for you to deal with these events, but if your BF hadn't tried to rape you then he wouldn't have triggered your trauma. Your trauma is telling you to be careful because the man you thought was loving and trustworthy just tried to rape you, maybe you should listen to it.
She wouldn’t be my gf… she’s putting herself in dangerous situations drinking like that and then tagging her location on social media. It’s never the girls fault but shit can go wrong sooo fast in these scenarios.
Why haven’t you trained your dog not to sleep in the bed??
Because she trained it to sleep on the bed.
Puppies don't know about bed. But since day 1 she has been making it sleep on the bed so the puppy is bed trained now lol
The puppy probably had separation issues (it was tiny, 2 months! That's barely limit to separate from the mom) and sleeping in a box? How about getting an actual bed and a plushy or something?
Ask her nicely and say it makes you uncomfortable. “Hey there’s something that’s been weighing on my mind as of late. Can I please talk to you privately? Say that I appreciate you and everything you are currently doing. I appreciate you for being here for me (basically sincere and truthful things). But when you bring up my parents every time we talk it brings up painful memories/hurts me/etc. You may not even realize you’re doing it and I’m sure you have the best of intentions, but if you could kindly please stop as it’s taking a toll on my mental health.” Obviously word it to your liking, but something along those lines. Be honest, open, and truthful. Then be firm in that boundary you have set. I wouldn’t make a spectacle in front of everyone and if she continues, again pull her aside in private and talk about it. Also, speak to your gf about it. Lay it out to her like above and you’re handling it, but would also like her help in enforcing that boundary if needed.
Tale as old as time.
It totally is real though. I always thought I wanted kids, but then when the time came around that we were settled and it would be a good time to have them…. I didn’t really want kids. Until all of a sudden I did. It really was a hormone thing. My logic brain was no longer there. I felt that biological clock for sure.
Why would your pathetic loser husband want more kids when he’s not interested in being a dad to your first one?
I’ve been very vocal with him about how fucked all of this is and I haven’t been putting up with his shit over the past few months. My bf has severe depression and probably bipolar disorder, it’s not an excuse to treat someone like shit and I told him that. He can’t justify treating me badly and use mental illness as an excuse. He threatened to kill himself a few times when I tried to leave. I know it made it seem like I don’t love myself enough but I do, I have been choosing myself over him more and more and it has been making him mad to see himself losing me slowly. Anyone who’s been in an abusive relationship would understand the feeling of being pulled back into something you don’t want. Im at a point where I’m not sad about leaving him anymore, I feel unburdened and want to be carefree and happy again. I’m not someone that ‘needs’ to be loved by someone else, I can love and take care of myself very well. I probably do need counselling though because of the amount of trauma I’ve experienced in this relationship. I actually told him I only read such things about relationships like ours on-line and never thought I’d go through it myself. I’ve kept this to myself out of embarrassment for putting up with all this bs knowing I deserve better.
I blocked him as soon as I said I’m leaving.
Why would she need to work out not wanting to send nudes/be sexualized in therapy? Seems fine, especially since they haven’t been dating very long
Something very similar happened to me at exactly the same age.
It started off with clothes on, and slowly the high pressure tactics and manipulation started. I’m an extremely forward person, but I guess my nervous system got overwhelmed and I found myself feeling like the best/safest/fastest way out of the situation was to go along with it to a point. I knew I didn’t want to keep going, but I “forgot” how to advocate for myself in the overwhelm and confusion.
Basically, I trusted the person. When they turned the tables and started pressuring me, I was overwhelmed and my nervous system put me in “freeze” mode. Also maybe there was a hint of violence underneath if I didn’t comply? No! Not violence, more like blackmail.
Like the wife, I had also signed a consent before the shoot started. I trusted my friend. They betrayed me.
It can happen to anybody.
Send him the screenshots and block him. You don’t owe him any kindness or consideration.
There is no need to lie. Just be straight with them and if you like you can have a small ceremony just for the family. You worry too much.
I don’t want to be with him. I wanted to know if you can build back trust. Consensus is no. He won’t accept any condition so it’s cool. He will feel like he gets to make the choice here.
I wouldve blocked him.. but i guess make him plan it n pay. Jesus.
I wouldve blocked him.. but i guess make him plan it n pay. Jesus.
Generally, in terms of social issues, anything you see on social media (which reddit is) is going to have a tiny kernel of truth, while being blown out of proportion to hilarious levels.
Yes, ageism is a thing. But it's not universal or even half as prevalent as browsing reddit with your attention primed for the subject will make you feel it is.
Are there a lot of men who are into younger women? Absolutely. Do some people age more gracefully than others? Totally. But it's not as big a deal as your “oh god, 27 and 30 are uncomfortably close together” doped up on social media filter bubbles brain is trying to make you believe.
—
I don't think that reddit is a bad source because people on it aren't mainstream. Reddit is pretty mainstream at this point.
It's a bad source because people rarely ever comment on subjects they don't have strong feelings about. Most people don't care, and you won't find those people posting/commenting much.
“The Media” isn't much better, because they'll always amplify the scandalous and the things that make people like you anxious, because anxiety gets people clicking. The world isn't full of Leonardo DiCaprio's. If it were, his 256th barely legal girlfriend wouldn't be newsworthy.
They can honestly assume what they want. I've said this wasn't the case multiple times but they can believe whatever they want.
Tell your girlfriend. He did this to himself, you didn’t put him in this awkward place.
I’d also distance myself from him. I think continuing with the same speed of friendship will lead him on and/or complicate feelings.
When we bought our house we didn’t completely change locks but did have it re-keyed. In fact, the real estate agent set us up with a local company to have it done as part of the closing cost/ contract. Never occurred to me that people would just leave them. Yikes like ya most people might be fine but there is plenty of creeps out their. And may not even be the prev owners but someone they knew.
On the off chance you are person not a bot.. You have already sorted it all out and he knows you are good person who missed a message. There is no need for guilt.
You do not want a relationship so that is it. There is no action to be taken here. What you do is carry on your life.
Your Mom can give you the insurance information and you can see a Gynecologist whenever you want. I'm surprised she hasn't already. If you were my daughter there's no way in hell I'd let you suffer.
Your Dad can't stop you. You're an adult and your medical decisions are for you to make not him. He's not a Doctor and needs to shut up. He doesn't know jack shit. Don't suffer because your Dad's being a controlling AH.
Vasectomies do not stop production, they stop sperm from entering the semen but there will still be sperm produced in the testes.
Every time I read one of these stories its like wtf did you think was gonna happen? This relationship is totally fucked
I know I’m late to the party here and you might not not see this. My husband and I have two daughters, both in their 30’s. It breaks my heart to think of you living like this. You are a responsible home owner who is gainfully employed. You are kind to animals. You are not the problem here. There is such a great life out there for you, if you could exit this relationship.
It’s not going to be easy. Every day that goes by will make it harder. I don’t think you should be alone when you have this conversation with him. His behavior with the dog makes me think that it might be safe for you. Please have somebody else in the house when you have the conversation with him. Don’t let him drag you into an endless fight about it. You don’t have to justify yourself to him. Just tell him it’s over, you don’t love him anymore and you’re kicking him out, and you have no interest in trying to save the relationship.
He’s going to give you a sob story about not having a job or any money, etc. Too bad – he’s an adult and he can figure out his own life. He isn’t your responsibility and you don’t have to save him.
You truly have what it takes to make a great life for yourself. I’m keeping such a good thought for you. You can absolutely do this.
Polyamory is certainly a shift in “values”, but it’s also often a vehicle people use to justify bad behavior. Morals, values, and behavior all shift gradually over long periods of time, due to workplace, family, location, and personal circumstances/contexts; conceivably anything could’ve caused his values to shift in those ten-ish years. Media showcasing different lifestyles (e.g. normalization of cheating on TV shows, polyamory in media, etc) could be just as much of a reason for the changes as being in a long-term abusive friendship or romantic relationship.
Taking video or photographs of a person committing sexual acts or in a hot or semi-nude state without his/her consent is usually a criminal act if the pictures or videos are taken in a place where you can reasonably expect to have privacy
I’m not saying putting large amounts of money each month towards it, but as someone who definitely doesn’t make 100k a year, I imagine making 100k a year leaves you with some disposable income. I’m just playing devils advocate here, the alternative is dumping the woman he loves because her financial burden will ruin his life. It was just a suggestion.
He's lying through his teeth. He took the meds, retook the test and showed you the second one. Dump his ass
Recent studies have shown that the infection rate for men is higher
You leave. That’s it – leave.
If he threatened self-half, report it to the police. And that’s it.
Don’t follow up to see if he is OK. You aren’t involved anymore.
If he keeps bothering you, block him.
“go commit a crime to prove it to me” lol no
Pastor here. While I’m in agreement that I wouldn’t touch Mexico with a 100 foot pole right now and that yes she should discuss with her fiancé, going in person to see for herself what an orphanage is like (PS not her first trip if I’m not mistaken) is a way to understand the situation up close. As Bryan Stevenson says in Just Mercy, “We can’t understand the important things in life from a distance. We have to get close.” So while sending money and supplies is important, seeing the situation can be life changing. I went to Mexico for a week to learn about immigration with my seminary class. Seeing the people and the situation up close, even just for a week, was life changing. Can she do up close at home? Sure. I think many of us would benefit from doing that. I choose to believe that she isn’t there for vanity based on her post, but that she actually cares. If more of us chose to get closer to those who truly need help, there’d be a lot more love and compassion in the world. Getting off my soapbox now. Thanks all.
This, my dear, is sex pest behavior, and pushing you to have sex over and over until you finally relent is sexual harassment, bordering on assault. He will not get better.
Do yourself a favor and end the relationship. He needs therapy, and you need someone who respects your boundaries and respects your choices. 20 years old is the perfect time to learn to stand up for yourself and define your boundaries. Please do.
So ur unhappy without that 1 position?
He broke up with her for not using a birth control method he thought was effective enough, so presumably he wanted it to be a method she was controlling. All of those are under his control – if he'd wanted to use them he could have tried them instead of breaking up with her.
Sounds like he is fetishizing your race or at least to him it's an important aspect of who you are.
You can date outside your race, just date people that don't fetishize you.
First tell your step dad then tell Roger. If Roger makes a big deal about it then he doesn’t need to come to the wedding. It’s your wedding and you shouldn’t give your bio dad a free pass after the way he abandoned you. I did the same thing. My brother walked me down the aisle and my dad was a guest.
Here are some concrete steps you can take to try to help your mom:
Encourage her to seek professional help: Offer to help her find a therapist or mental health professional that she feels comfortable with. If she's resistant to the idea, remind her that depression is a serious illness that requires treatment. Set boundaries: Let your mom know that while you love her and want to support her, you can't be her therapist. Encourage her to seek professional help instead. If she tries to unload her emotions on you or your children, gently but firmly redirect her to a professional. Offer practical support: If your mom's living environment is contributing to her depression, offer to help her clean and declutter her home. If she's struggling with basic needs like food or water, offer to bring her groceries or help her fix her toilet. Take care of yourself: Supporting someone with depression can be emotionally draining, so make sure to prioritize your own mental health. Consider seeing a therapist yourself or joining a support group for loved ones of people with mental illness.
Remember, you can't force your mom to get help, but you can encourage her and support her in taking steps towards recovery. Wishing you both all of the best.
No i like her very much. She is a good person.There are some things that she does i don't like.
That's a different person you're responding to, dummy.
Sorry if porn gave you ED, but projecting isn't going to change anything, either.
Yeah it would be on my name only, sorry if it wasn’t clear enough he would feel like that just because we’d on-line in it and I would be repaying it back slowly
Yeah it would be on my name only, sorry if it wasn’t clear enough he would feel like that just because we’d on-line in it and I would be repaying it back slowly
I am very particular about my shampoos and struggle a lot finding ones that go well with my curls. I get not being eager to give them up, but I would at least try some solutions, like putting on night caps or sleeping with my hair in a braid. At the end of the day the comfort and health of my partner would be more important though and she doesn't seem to get that, so do with that what you will
I love this. You are a wonderful mommy! ❤️
My parents had a very abusive relationship. Not physical but verbal and emotional same vibes. Constant cheating constantly blaming herself. I never wanted that for myself and fell into it as a teenager.
My mom hated my first bf because she said he was just like my dad… that woke me up after being in denial for a long ass time.
I always tell my husband he's the man that sets the bar for her and she's lucky her dad is gonna be the most loving person ever. And her mom a crazy dragon lady that can spot a douchebag dude from far away. Lol
The fact that she pretended to be in pain during your first time with her makes me question her sanity. To take it that far plus all the lying shows she’s got major issues in the head. Major red flags
Any chance he just didn't notice? A lot of young men have a hot time dealing with emotions like this. Just tell him what you need. “Hold me for a while please.”
Continue with the pregnancy if that's what you want. Ditch your boyfriend either way. Anyone that is explicitly saying they might abandon you and force you to be a single parent is not someone you should continue a relationship with. It doesn't matter if he's “not ready”–it takes two people to make a baby, and he can't just abdicate responsibility because he doesn't feel like taking responsibility. It's a pretty shocking and gross revelation of his character, and that's not someone you want to spend your life with. To further support point number two, do you really want to deal with that MIL for the rest of your life? Having her undermine you every step of the way, getting into your partner's head and turning him against you, etc? He seems to value her opinion over yours, and seemingly even over his own opinion, which again, is just a reflection of his poor character. If you have the baby and lose the boyfriend, please still file for child support payments, because whether or not he wants to be a deadbeat and not involved in his child's life, that child is still entitled to his financial support!
There is no state in the USA where that is true. The mother will likely not get full custody, but I guarantee you the court will give her visitation.
So is yours….read it?
Idk about the series you‘re talking about but women like OP‘s girlfriend and Carrie are literally poison (I say this as a woman myself). And what you described is the exact same situation.
Why is she even with OP if she keeps seeing another dude she cheated with? They belong together, shitty people should date shitty people so we‘re all save?
No, honey. Your happiness CAN'T come second. That isn't how love or relationships work. This is exactly why you're depressed – and you ARE depressed. Because it's not POSSIBLE for a relationship to work when you have the mindset of “my happiness can come second”. You're literally allowing her to . . . well, keep you as an afterthought. You're giving her permission, because you're saying it yourself: “It's okay for me to be an afterthought”.
You need to leave this relationship, where you are not valued. There is no relationship here. And you are not her therapist. It is not your job to make her happy and be treated like this IS your job, instead of a partnership.
And then you need to get some therapy, to learn to value yourself.
Yeah the 'we weren't exclusive' is just used as a get out clause for bad behaviour. The fact she had a key and was running errands suggest they were spending a lot of time together, and that comes with an expectation of respect and behaviour.
Just like fetching parcels is 'something you do for a partner' so is having open communication and not ditching the other way to spend time with a friend of the opposite sex. You can't have one without the other.
He decided he wanted to be more than just her FWB. It happens.
I don't know what he did to you and told you to accept such a relationship, but he lied to you, you are worth much more. He's currently in the phase of dumping you and the only reason he's doing it slowly is because he wants to find someone or he's waiting for something to go his way to make it easier for him to dump you. I've had several interactions with such people and it's sickening how similar they are, especially in some of the things you mentioned yourself, as if they have one, shared brain. Creeps. If you feel trauma bonded, it’s because you are, and he knows what he did and what he will continue on doing. He mentioned your friends not because his sexual drive is that high and y’all are freaks, but to lower you and make you adapt a feeling of being with someone who settled for less. Which is far from the truth. Anyone who uses such tactics aren’t settling for less, but their partners are. Which is why they have to use such childish and ugly tactics to attract people and make them stay. It’s alright tho, you will get over him sooner or later, and no, he won’t treat anyone better than you.
You're a mother now, that baby is your responsibility in the extreme.
This man is either stupid or delusional. Second hand, even third hand smoke is known to be dangerous.
Don't mess with your childs health over an idiot.
It all smells fishy. Wouldn’t be surprised if ex friend said something like “keep this between us because XYZ”.
Then the hot couch part. That’s a bit off too. Blackout drunk. Got hot. I dunno. Unless she sleeps in naked.. why not go lay in bed.
Many I dunno’s.. phone check is valid.
No way this is real
I think you're just gonna have to trudge through it, man. jus let the feelings wash over you
Her guy is the best she could do and the natural progression of that relationship was marriage. She obliged but has been wanting your husband this whole time. She's willing to risk it all to have him, watch your back because she's fucking dangerous.
helped
But he doesn’t want it to be just you and him. He wants other people thrown into the mix, too.
It’s fine that he has those desires. But it’s not fine to coerce you and repeatedly ask you to try something you really don’t want to do. If you’re digging in your heels on this, and he’s still trying to convince you to do it, then he’s being selfish with what he wants and not considering you at all.
Choose yourself and let this guy explore his sexuality on his own. There are SO many people out there that will be a better match for you in the long run.
Exactly
Good luck getting your money back. Put your money in your own account and take what he gave his friend.
You on-line in the house, clean it so that you are comfortable!
Decide that she lied.
And block her everywhere. Not “fur sure”. Do. Yesterday.
She is toxic and wants to hurt you. So she made up this lie.
Basta! E finita la musica for that nastiness.
Im guessing this has slowly been adding up. At the beginning you just wanted to help and support him not thinking about it as a job. He at the same time got used to you helping out for free and now sees it as expected.
Now you are starting to react and not feel comfortable anymore. Especially since he didnt even think about buying you a fan even after you asked about it.
You need to hit the breaks and have a talk with him. It is unreasonable for you to take time of from your real job, rejecting being paid working to work for free with him. It is also unreasonable that he wont even think about your comfort while you are doing so. From now on you should only help him to the extent you are comfortable doing for free (and he needs to make sure you are atleast as comfortable as he makes himself), or he needs to start paying you. It is fully ok for you to not help at all aswell. He should be greatfull for all the help you have given so far either way.
He is telling her they all need to talk bc he’s a manipulative little shit and he knows the implications. It will most likely drive the wedge even further between these friends and then he can spend more unlimited time with Kate. This is triangulation and he’s gas lighting his gf by acting like she’s insecure when she’s perfectly reasonable. He’s loving the feeling of attention from both of these women and ruining their friendship. Based on his other posts, he has narcissistic traits in my opinion and this is his current supply he’s feeding off of. That’s why he is refusing to acknowledge the issue or offer a viable suggestion that won’t offer his gfs friendship.
Do YOU want to be become a mother NOW? Are you able to financially sustain your child? These are the questions you should be asking yourself.
Even if your bf reacts favourably, you don't really know him and you cannot decide if he is the right parent for your child
Happy birthday OP ?
You didn’t do anything wrong, this guy is just not into you. It’s a bad excuse to tell you he doesn’t want to commit to you. There’s nothing immoral to hooking up with someone who’s not your boyfriend.
You were 14 when your Mom died this women didn't raise you , they hurt you and pushed her on you and tried to oblierate your mothers memory after 2 months.
I would write them a long long letter, and say straight up the fact they both refer to a woman you didn't even meet till you where 14 as your ” Mother' and tried to destroy you actual Mothers memory only 2 months after her death is abhorant & abusive.
Tell them you clearly understand how sometimes a “beloved” step parent who raises a child from a very young age or who is in your life as an adult for 30 or 40 years (and doest't demand it) are somtimes refered to as Mother by a step child.
Remind them this is not the situation here. They tormented a grieving teenager.
Tell them you currently have no intention of making or having contact with them but if you did consider it in the future , it would need to start with them admitting their behavior was cruel & abusive.
They would also need to fully accept that your fathers wife is not and will never be a Mother to you or grandmother to your children. She is the women he married when you were close to being an adult who tormented you in your time of grief.
Get it all off your chest and sack your therapist.
thank you so much for your advice.. i beg him to communicate with me, talk to me, tell me your feelings and he just doesn’t. I dont know where it went wrong in our marriage, i hate feeling like it’s something i did.
Yeah, that’s a no go and should not have taken that much time for him to grow an empathetic bone in his body. It is not okay to shame people, especially in front of others where he essentially made fun of you to his friends. Those people defended you…. From your own partner.
OP this is all the advice you need. That’s very odd she would have such a strong opinion about you being at a casual work get together to celebrate her… something seems off, follow your gut. You feelings are valid and as her spouse she should 100% be putting your feelings into consideration.
Yeah. That is annoying.
OP this is all the advice you need. That’s very odd she would have such a strong opinion about you being at a casual work get together to celebrate her… something seems off, follow your gut. You feelings are valid and as her spouse she should 100% be putting your feelings into consideration.
Thank you
Read the TLDR version.
Sorry you're going through this mental anguish, it sounds difficult and conflicting for sure.
Have you turned each and every stone possible to see whether your marriage has a future? Have you discussed your (reasonable) serious concerns with your husband? How has that conversation gone?
If you haven't, maybe ask to sit down and speak to him when you're both emotionally available, fed and well rested and explain your thought process. You've been together a while so it would be the kindest thing to do ( unless you're in any danger or feel unsafe in doing this, then wouldn't recommend a face to face).
I just wonder if there's a chance he would turn things around more permanently if he knew you are considering walking away for good…and if he doesn't, well, you have your answer and at least you'll know you did everything you could.