I would text the host and say I won't be there because I was awake until whatever time, then had work and quite simply can't function at that level of tiredness. I'd also say your boyfriend should still be there and you'll give him the recipe for the dish because you don't want to let them down. Then I'd give BF said recipe and go to bed.
You don't make the rules for other adults, including who they can and cannot hook up with. I don't why you think this is something you should, or can, do.
Stay out of it. This is literally none of your business.
I think you’re putting too much thought and importance into the act of getting engaged. Life doesn’t always work out according to plan, and if I’m not mistaken, you two haven’t even experienced living together yet. I would definitely advise to be living together before a solid marriage plan is put into place.
You have a good, loving relationship, and you both seem happy with it. That’s what is important. Finish your schooling while building that relationship, take the eventual step to getting a place together, then take the next step in life.
I’m not sure how the dynamic works at home, but I think it’s time you have a long and naked talk about this together with a doctor. Like even if it makes him upset, you just gotta make him go through that nude conversation. Maybe even consider talking to a therapist about this because it definitely sounds like he’s using binge eating as a coping mechanism.
You went to a girl house alone, knowing that she liked you and it bothered your girlfriend. And then you slept with her and someone else and lied every step of the way. How can anyone trust you when you have proved that you'll always chose to disrespect your girlfriend's reasonable boundaries and lie and lie and lie?
Sex can be both casual and something special. I’ve had sex with girls where it was purely physical and we just make halfway decent friends afterwards or hookup a few more times when we need it.
I’ve also had sex where I was truly in love with the other person and they rocked my world emotionally. That sex is something completely different and special beyond belief. Unless you actually have some sexual experience its naked to understand that.
This doesn’t make her a bad person, dirty, or less than she was before. I get why you’d want to leave and how the views don’t align. Just make sure you don’t make her feel dirty or like she’s worthless on the way out.
sure, like how someone can leave the toilet seat up or mix up recycling and trash… but asking your gf if they can fuck their best friend? that is some weird ass gossip-girl-euphoria type of nonsense.. and you are in MAJOR denial for even entertaining it.
Well for one thing, if she asks you if something annoys you and it does – TELL HER.
Meanwhile, sit down and talk to her. Tell her how her actions make you feel; assure her you love her to death; ask her to dial it back. Point out (and think about this ahead of time) specific times you really do not want this. While you're working? Cooking? Trying to concentrate on something else? Right before you are walking out the door? I mean, there's a time and a place, is what I'm saying.
If she continues, say something in the moment “Sweetie please – this is what I was talking about. Can we not do this right now?” The 'right now' should be meant as it states – not right now.
Hopefully she will take this as it is meant and not as a personal attack. And really, your body is yours and it's not for her to mindlessly grope. Now, if she gets defensive or petulant (“Well I guess I'll just never touch you again if it's so terrible to you!”) then you have bigger problems.
There might be a disconnect where he doesn't understand what you mean by “talking about emotions”. For example this:
I usually vent about my job, relationship with family
Doesn't seem to me to be necessarily talking about emotions, but talking about events that may or may not have an emotional impact on you.
So he might not understand what you are expecting of him.
He might also not understand that discussions like this are partner-bonding events for you. When I think of venting about frustrations about my job, I think I'm helping myself by getting things off my chest and my wife is helping me by patiently listening to whatever I'm talking about. I've never thought she was getting anything out of the experience.
He probably thinks he's doing you a favor by not bringing up things outside the relationship that aren't bothering him.
Also, if he's like me, and I think many men, his ideal emotional state is one of equilibrium and contentment. From his perspective, if he doesn't have any strong feelings to talk about that means things are going well.
The way you talk down about your partner says everything tbh. The way you shit on her degree, her job, even her medical expenses.
I wonder if she knows this is how you talk about her and her choices when she's not around.
Youre the one gold digging here. I won't rehash the numbers as they've been explained many times in various comments but yeah… you aren't being fair to her especially given she's unwell.
I think it would bother me coz it means they don’t feel the same way about it. When I have sex it’s like a bonding experience. I’ve tried casual and trying to stay separated from it. I never could. And when I realised the other person could I’ve never felt more isolated and alone.
Id at least like to feel it has some meaning to the other person. And if they’ve had loads of casual sex then it probably doesn’t have the same meaning to them
You and your family are a package deal. My ex used to stop me from seeing my family. I missed quite a bit of my infant nephews life before leaving my ex. It hurts to be sure, but it’s better this way than being forcibly separated from your family by a partner.
Idk, doesn’t sound like there’s much you need to do here except see where it goes? It doesn’t seem like you’ve been doing this long enough (though it’s naked to tell?) to warrant a serious conversation yet. Just let it happen naturally for a little while first.
Keep your expectations low, and just bear in mind the gravity of the situation should you fall in love and then break up – how much harder going to work will be, etc.
Sex is important in a majority of relationships and in my opinion, a big factor to keep things healthy.
Your boyfriend though, is out of his mind. Kissing and cuddling mean nothing unless it leads to sex? He threatened to kill himself when you tried to talk to him about it? He's manipulating you and he's very immature about it all.
Just rip the band-aid off ASAP. He is not your responsibility after. Good riddance.
Show them any video about love bombing. Talk to them with respect and love, and try to stay positive while doing it, but show them. It’s not just you that says it.
Also, and I understand that youth is a player in this, she's 22.
How many men could you have possibly known overall? What was this guy competing with, her dad, some cousins and maybe a few guys she knew from school?
yes i would
I would text the host and say I won't be there because I was awake until whatever time, then had work and quite simply can't function at that level of tiredness. I'd also say your boyfriend should still be there and you'll give him the recipe for the dish because you don't want to let them down. Then I'd give BF said recipe and go to bed.
I have but only to exclaim how big it is. Even when verging on average.
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Good for you on that edit
Wtf… I would watch this but wish it was Judy’s hairy nipples.
There’s so much more to it though, he used to hold me and help me breathe in my panic attacks, it’s naked for me to fathom letting him go.
You don't make the rules for other adults, including who they can and cannot hook up with. I don't why you think this is something you should, or can, do.
Stay out of it. This is literally none of your business.
I think you’re putting too much thought and importance into the act of getting engaged. Life doesn’t always work out according to plan, and if I’m not mistaken, you two haven’t even experienced living together yet. I would definitely advise to be living together before a solid marriage plan is put into place.
You have a good, loving relationship, and you both seem happy with it. That’s what is important. Finish your schooling while building that relationship, take the eventual step to getting a place together, then take the next step in life.
I’m not sure how the dynamic works at home, but I think it’s time you have a long and naked talk about this together with a doctor. Like even if it makes him upset, you just gotta make him go through that nude conversation. Maybe even consider talking to a therapist about this because it definitely sounds like he’s using binge eating as a coping mechanism.
You went to a girl house alone, knowing that she liked you and it bothered your girlfriend. And then you slept with her and someone else and lied every step of the way. How can anyone trust you when you have proved that you'll always chose to disrespect your girlfriend's reasonable boundaries and lie and lie and lie?
I wouldn't trust you either.
You should make that clear in your wedding vows then, if/when you get married.
You cannot make those commonly used vows because you aren’t willing to stick around if things get tough.
Sex can be both casual and something special. I’ve had sex with girls where it was purely physical and we just make halfway decent friends afterwards or hookup a few more times when we need it.
I’ve also had sex where I was truly in love with the other person and they rocked my world emotionally. That sex is something completely different and special beyond belief. Unless you actually have some sexual experience its naked to understand that.
This doesn’t make her a bad person, dirty, or less than she was before. I get why you’d want to leave and how the views don’t align. Just make sure you don’t make her feel dirty or like she’s worthless on the way out.
Good luck
You seriously need to wake up.
sure, like how someone can leave the toilet seat up or mix up recycling and trash… but asking your gf if they can fuck their best friend? that is some weird ass gossip-girl-euphoria type of nonsense.. and you are in MAJOR denial for even entertaining it.
Well for one thing, if she asks you if something annoys you and it does – TELL HER.
Meanwhile, sit down and talk to her. Tell her how her actions make you feel; assure her you love her to death; ask her to dial it back. Point out (and think about this ahead of time) specific times you really do not want this. While you're working? Cooking? Trying to concentrate on something else? Right before you are walking out the door? I mean, there's a time and a place, is what I'm saying.
If she continues, say something in the moment “Sweetie please – this is what I was talking about. Can we not do this right now?” The 'right now' should be meant as it states – not right now.
Hopefully she will take this as it is meant and not as a personal attack. And really, your body is yours and it's not for her to mindlessly grope. Now, if she gets defensive or petulant (“Well I guess I'll just never touch you again if it's so terrible to you!”) then you have bigger problems.
Good luck OP.
I wouldn't pursue this relationship. You're not what she needs and she's not what you need.
You think this will still apply to a partner you've admitted you are not attracted to?
Have you been masturbating or watching porn more frequently?
This can also cause issues with how long you last.
Ha! He’s telling you he’ll cheat on you & when he does, you can’t blame him. After all, he warned you, and he does have a penis.
Just leave him now. Save yourself all the future brain damage.
How long would you normally take to “fall in love” though?
Odds are you already were a carrier anyways but anyone can break up with anyone for any reason
There might be a disconnect where he doesn't understand what you mean by “talking about emotions”. For example this:
I usually vent about my job, relationship with family
Doesn't seem to me to be necessarily talking about emotions, but talking about events that may or may not have an emotional impact on you.
So he might not understand what you are expecting of him.
He might also not understand that discussions like this are partner-bonding events for you. When I think of venting about frustrations about my job, I think I'm helping myself by getting things off my chest and my wife is helping me by patiently listening to whatever I'm talking about. I've never thought she was getting anything out of the experience.
He probably thinks he's doing you a favor by not bringing up things outside the relationship that aren't bothering him.
Also, if he's like me, and I think many men, his ideal emotional state is one of equilibrium and contentment. From his perspective, if he doesn't have any strong feelings to talk about that means things are going well.
Why do I feel u r being used here sir
The way you talk down about your partner says everything tbh. The way you shit on her degree, her job, even her medical expenses.
I wonder if she knows this is how you talk about her and her choices when she's not around.
Youre the one gold digging here. I won't rehash the numbers as they've been explained many times in various comments but yeah… you aren't being fair to her especially given she's unwell.
why dont u just do it and get it out of the way and if u enjoy it ur pleasantly surprised and if u dont u have a reason next time it comes up
You left your dream school for him??
Oh hell no. This man doesn’t want you to reach your full potential. A real partner would have encouraged you to stay there.
You deserve better.
I think it would bother me coz it means they don’t feel the same way about it. When I have sex it’s like a bonding experience. I’ve tried casual and trying to stay separated from it. I never could. And when I realised the other person could I’ve never felt more isolated and alone.
Id at least like to feel it has some meaning to the other person. And if they’ve had loads of casual sex then it probably doesn’t have the same meaning to them
You and your family are a package deal. My ex used to stop me from seeing my family. I missed quite a bit of my infant nephews life before leaving my ex. It hurts to be sure, but it’s better this way than being forcibly separated from your family by a partner.
Idk, doesn’t sound like there’s much you need to do here except see where it goes? It doesn’t seem like you’ve been doing this long enough (though it’s naked to tell?) to warrant a serious conversation yet. Just let it happen naturally for a little while first.
Keep your expectations low, and just bear in mind the gravity of the situation should you fall in love and then break up – how much harder going to work will be, etc.
Could he just have a low libido?
Sex is important in a majority of relationships and in my opinion, a big factor to keep things healthy.
Your boyfriend though, is out of his mind. Kissing and cuddling mean nothing unless it leads to sex? He threatened to kill himself when you tried to talk to him about it? He's manipulating you and he's very immature about it all.
Just rip the band-aid off ASAP. He is not your responsibility after. Good riddance.
Show them any video about love bombing. Talk to them with respect and love, and try to stay positive while doing it, but show them. It’s not just you that says it.