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KaylaLaine Public Chat Channel
Date: March 27, 2023
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KaylaLaine Public Chat Channel
I’ve been with my partner for 5 years and he’s met precisely one of my friends. He’s never met any of my colleagues/work friends either. I’ve met most of his friends and some of his colleagues/work friends. What’s the difference? Well, I have a hobby in common with his friends and they’re quite close by whereas most of my friends and colleague friends have a totally different set of interests and most aren’t nearby.
I don’t see why it’s a big deal for her to have a separate friend group. I guess I’m just not a believer in “your friends must be my friends and we must do all things together”. I think it’s healthy to do things separately as well as together.
Ghosted before meeting.
And there is definitely a large gap between clingy and aloof.
So then what exactly do you have to do? If I'm not clingy then they will ghost me because it feels like I'm aloof. But if I'm aloof then it feels like for them I don't want to talk to them or be with them and then they ghost me anyway so I'm literally fucked either way no matter what
I think it's plausible that he made a pass at her in a shitty way or said something otherwise embarrassing and doesn't want to be involved in the drama of telling you about it. If he's ashamed of embarrassed of what he said, clearly he also doesn't want to talk about it.
Tell your husband how you feel and ask him to tell you what happened.
Love that you called him a clown shoe. This is a term my boyfriend uses and I’ve never heard anyone else use it
I hear ya. Definitely not easy wishing you both the best.
If you're ready to be through with this, block him.
And then avoid similar attachments in the future.
He sees people as subhuman just because they are living the life they always wanted. It’s not a mental disorder, it’s not an illness. Sometimes our bodies just aren’t right for us and that’s okay. People deserve to on-line an authentic life as their authentic self. The fact that he as so much disdain for something that has zero effect on him shows that he is not a kind person to those who are different from him or differ in views. I cannot tell you what to do, that’s a decision you need to make for yourself. So I implore you to ask yourself: do you want to have a life with a person that knowingly and loudly proclaims that other peoples’ lives do not have any value because they’re different from him?
The reason people are not focusing on his behavior is because his wife is physically abusive and when someone is abusive, it does not matter what their partner did first, that is always an immediate “leave the relationship” situation. By saying “hitting you was wrong, BUT” people are opening the door to him justifying the abuse because abusees generally desperately want to find a reason that the abuse wasn’t that bad or that they actually deserved it.
In this situation, it is dangerous to give him a reason to blame himself because it could encourage him to stay thinking “we both did bad things.” He needs to recognize his wife’s behavior as abusive, exit the relationship safely, and whatever his own faults as a partner he can work on in therapy as he heals from the abuse.
You can get specially design ear plugs that minimise nouse. They let through conversations etc. but the reduce background noise and reduce really high pitched sounds to something more tolerable. Likewise you can get head phones the allow through conversation while playing white/brown noise and reducing background noise.
No dude that's not protecting somebody to take the agency to choose away from them. That's protecting his own and ex friend's ego. She's a grown ass woman who can handle the very hot things. I'd never continue a relationship with someone who thought he could unilaterally make decisions for me that I am not allowed to question. Absolutely not. No matter what happened, treating her as if she's a child is not protection, it's control and possessiveness.
Just stop, quit putting yourself in the martyr
Adults should be able to control their own actions and emotions, at least to a degree. With men, even more so I would expect that to be the case. Sorry for generalising that women are typically more emotional, it is the case from my experience
His defence of saying his actions are a reaction of your actions/words may be applicable to a degree but he should still own up to his actions and try to not let that be an issue or as big of an issue, going forward.
You should not feel like what he does is a direct result of your own actions or words during an argument. Everyone comes with their own personal experience and baggage about dealing with such and such situation, from their previous encounters with others.
It's a good thing that he has been apologising about it, after things quieten down post-arguments
She was never your friend. Never. A friendship doesn't work like that, it's about mutual support, that she never gave you, and both reaching out to each other, that she just doesn't do, and sharing experiences together, that she's not interested in sharing with you. She kept you around because you do things for her, it was always convenient to her to have you around while she had to do nothing at all. Just block her number. And seek therapy, so you can find out why do you let people to treat you like this and how to have healthy friendships in the future
Umm…messy.
I guess my take is you two need to be on the same page about child raring, and if you can't compromise then kids should be off the table (which may mean breaking up).
Its not that either of you are right or wrong, but if you're gonna have kids you need to figure out if you can compromise or not.
He's not trustworthy. That's why she's “insecure” with “trust issues” and had to resort to deceit. Has nothing to do with anyone's gender.
And no, married people are not entitled to privacy when privacy means hiding where they are 3 weeks a month.
Yeah but he married her with the tattoo. If she’s unwilling to go through the painful and possibly not effective process of removal then he can either be like ‘I’m the one that put the important ring on it’ or he can he upset about it forever. Yes it’s a symbol but she didn’t marry her ex, she married this guy.