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He can earn it with behaviour. Small rewards based system. Gold stars for tantrum free day. Assign a dollar figure for each star. Use silver and bronze stars as a reward system for the days he shows really good behaviour or if he helps with chores or does small tasks on his own like putting away his toys.
Tell him how many stars he has to earn to get a toy. Tell him how he can earn extra stars for being good or helping or not biting or hitting. Whatever you decide is worth a star.
I cannot believe that you feel you have the right to ask a 40 year old grown man to give up his closest friends just because one of them is his ex. I get not wanting to be shown photos of ex's, nobody really want to see that. But You can't come into someone's life, and expect them to have the same feelings on things that you do. Do you think it's right, or fair, for you to ask him to cut off his friendships just to make you feel better? Friendships that he's had for years? You feel like that's a reasonable request? If not being friends with past partners is something you won't tolerate, then you have every right to walk away from the relationship. What you DON'T have the right to do is come into a relationship like it's their home and you walk in like you own the place. It's their house, you don't have to live there. You get what I'm saying? If you can't handle him being friends with these people, then you leave, you don't force him to make a decision that he will 100% resent you for in the future. (You realize when he said their friendship is no big deal, he hardly sees them, etc he was trying to minimize it to make it easier for him to give them up…for you. He probably went through so much mental turmoil after the ultimatum, I don't think you understand what it feels like to be told by someone you care about and want in your life that you HAVE to give up other people you care about to make them stay. That's not just some easy choice you make in 2 seconds. Ultimately he realized he shouldn't have to give up his friends for a relationship).
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
You can leave. Tell his mom to call his other girlfriend to come be with him in the hospital. As he has stated that she's the one he loves, it would be a kindness to him to make sure he can be with his love.
Hello /u/delirioussloths,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
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include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
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Agree with the comments about joining groups. Maybe book clubs? Check your library for some activity clubs as well
He can earn it with behaviour. Small rewards based system. Gold stars for tantrum free day. Assign a dollar figure for each star. Use silver and bronze stars as a reward system for the days he shows really good behaviour or if he helps with chores or does small tasks on his own like putting away his toys.
Tell him how many stars he has to earn to get a toy. Tell him how he can earn extra stars for being good or helping or not biting or hitting. Whatever you decide is worth a star.
My wife has always been a “difficult person” when it comes to several things, like moodiness, anxiety, control issues, manipulation and selfishness
You will have a rough relationship whatever happens.?
I cannot believe that you feel you have the right to ask a 40 year old grown man to give up his closest friends just because one of them is his ex. I get not wanting to be shown photos of ex's, nobody really want to see that. But You can't come into someone's life, and expect them to have the same feelings on things that you do. Do you think it's right, or fair, for you to ask him to cut off his friendships just to make you feel better? Friendships that he's had for years? You feel like that's a reasonable request? If not being friends with past partners is something you won't tolerate, then you have every right to walk away from the relationship. What you DON'T have the right to do is come into a relationship like it's their home and you walk in like you own the place. It's their house, you don't have to live there. You get what I'm saying? If you can't handle him being friends with these people, then you leave, you don't force him to make a decision that he will 100% resent you for in the future. (You realize when he said their friendship is no big deal, he hardly sees them, etc he was trying to minimize it to make it easier for him to give them up…for you. He probably went through so much mental turmoil after the ultimatum, I don't think you understand what it feels like to be told by someone you care about and want in your life that you HAVE to give up other people you care about to make them stay. That's not just some easy choice you make in 2 seconds. Ultimately he realized he shouldn't have to give up his friends for a relationship).
Hello /u/ThrowRAsanriohoeee,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
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You can leave. Tell his mom to call his other girlfriend to come be with him in the hospital. As he has stated that she's the one he loves, it would be a kindness to him to make sure he can be with his love.