Is this your man if so why do you talk down about him even less than idk a child. I couldn't even read the whole thing because of the superiority trip… Chores just 2 …good grief do you remind him to put on clean undies in case he's in an accident…
You’re in a subreddit that is significantly comprised of insecure guys, so take the responses with a grain of salt.
Dick size is a sensitive topic with a lot of men. But like all insecurities, he has to learn to on-line with it. He’s comparing himself to people who don’t matter, if the relationship is good he’ll come around eventually.
In my last relationship my girlfriend was self conscious about her appearance and not being as beautiful as some other women in her eyes. To me, physical appearance is only one aspect of beauty. I mean, if she put a gun to my head and asked me “am I the most physically attractive person you’ve ever dated?” I’d have to say no, she’s not. But those other people didn’t matter.
It’s hard to come to terms with these insecurities because it’s something you can’t change. Sometimes it just takes time to work out these insecurities.
Yeah we're a bit far from any beach. I mean it's not bad, like an hour and a half. So that'd have to be planned as heading that way as apart of the date likely
What fo you think you are misding. Random hookups will not provide you with anything that loving gf does (msybe except STD). There is nothing you are misding out on.
Thanks for the response, while I’m not convinced yet that she’s necessarily projecting, at this point it doesn’t matter to me because I am so tired of feeling worthless
I don’t think I am. I haven’t seen him in years, I’ve tried to right my wrongs from when I was in school with other people, the reason I hoped he wouldn’t notice me is because I knew he’d go all out on me
My gut feeling is to end the relationship. Her and I have had talks about me being a needy person and how she is independent. Any changes on her end to be more communicative won't last, I feel.
I’m a total idiot I often need obvious things clarified. I’m gathering from the comments that I left out how bad of shape the relationship had come to be. Gf wasn’t the same person I fell in love with. I was so desperate for a connection. It also wasn’t flippant. I rejected Landlord’s advances multiple times and felt like my world was crashing down the whole time. Do I say we have to leave? Leave the best rent deal we’ve ever had? Where then? What can we even afford? Will we need a lawyer? It was disorienting. I don’t mean to excuse my behavior I have just learned the importance of being kind to myself even when I make mistakes. Maybe the Team Skeet joke was to much I just was trying punch it up for Reddit a bit.
This I can cosign! I definitely agree the bf went about this the wrong way (going into detail about all the things he wanted to do and how he saw her was unnecessary and honestly thoughtless).
I also fully agree that discussing terms of a relationship, expectations, wants, needs, thoughts, and what kind of relationship there is should be done before becoming official or at least very early into it. And while people can't always know how they feel about things or those feelings change, it is incumbent on them to be considerate of their partners in how they share those desires. And it is extra important to respect when their partner has or may have boundaries against them in how you approach them and respond afterwards.
I feel like those same questions/feelings could apply to not just friends is all.
“Why are you with me then (if you want anyone else, am I myself not good enough for you)?”
“Why aren't you with (other women) if you want to be with other women, it could be just with anybody right? I must not be special to you”
“If we were to have a threesome would you develop feelings for the other person regardless of who they were?”
Nonmonogamy takes a LOT of trust, security, communication, understanding, honesty, and mutual respect. Even with those things it's not for everyone. And if brought up to a strictly monogamous partner, no mater how it's phrased, there is always the chance they may feel they aren't enough for you when you view things completely differently.
OP's bf was insensitive in how he brought this up, I'm not disputing that nor is it my intention to defend him in that regard. But I don't think it's necessarily wrong to feel attraction for others or have fantasies themselves of friends/other people if it doesn't change how you treat them. OP could wonder if he is ever thinking about/fantasizing about sex with other women without having asked him, and she can't control his impulses/turn ons any more than he can.
If the concern is that the brazen way he expressed his desires indicates he perhaps doesn't value their relationship and thus OP I can agree with that much more. But just having the thoughts? I can't
I hope you find a happy path.
Thanks for your message. I totally agree and I am certainly to blame. I am trying to get rid of jealousy.
Is this your man if so why do you talk down about him even less than idk a child. I couldn't even read the whole thing because of the superiority trip… Chores just 2 …good grief do you remind him to put on clean undies in case he's in an accident…
I never said he did it, said he wanted to.
You don't comprehend well.
It's okay though.
You’re in a subreddit that is significantly comprised of insecure guys, so take the responses with a grain of salt.
Dick size is a sensitive topic with a lot of men. But like all insecurities, he has to learn to on-line with it. He’s comparing himself to people who don’t matter, if the relationship is good he’ll come around eventually.
In my last relationship my girlfriend was self conscious about her appearance and not being as beautiful as some other women in her eyes. To me, physical appearance is only one aspect of beauty. I mean, if she put a gun to my head and asked me “am I the most physically attractive person you’ve ever dated?” I’d have to say no, she’s not. But those other people didn’t matter.
It’s hard to come to terms with these insecurities because it’s something you can’t change. Sometimes it just takes time to work out these insecurities.
nice age gap
Yeah we're a bit far from any beach. I mean it's not bad, like an hour and a half. So that'd have to be planned as heading that way as apart of the date likely
So sorry for you to have so many shitty people around. Family & husband 🙁
What fo you think you are misding. Random hookups will not provide you with anything that loving gf does (msybe except STD). There is nothing you are misding out on.
Thanks for the response, while I’m not convinced yet that she’s necessarily projecting, at this point it doesn’t matter to me because I am so tired of feeling worthless
I don’t think I am. I haven’t seen him in years, I’ve tried to right my wrongs from when I was in school with other people, the reason I hoped he wouldn’t notice me is because I knew he’d go all out on me
My gut feeling is to end the relationship. Her and I have had talks about me being a needy person and how she is independent. Any changes on her end to be more communicative won't last, I feel.
A classic case of two different people?
I’m a total idiot I often need obvious things clarified. I’m gathering from the comments that I left out how bad of shape the relationship had come to be. Gf wasn’t the same person I fell in love with. I was so desperate for a connection. It also wasn’t flippant. I rejected Landlord’s advances multiple times and felt like my world was crashing down the whole time. Do I say we have to leave? Leave the best rent deal we’ve ever had? Where then? What can we even afford? Will we need a lawyer? It was disorienting. I don’t mean to excuse my behavior I have just learned the importance of being kind to myself even when I make mistakes. Maybe the Team Skeet joke was to much I just was trying punch it up for Reddit a bit.
Sweetie, it’s him. It isn’t you.
It looks shiny on the outside, but you know it’s defective.
Really. Don’t beat yourself up over this. It’s fools gold.
Yeah, lowering things to the level of the messier partner only punishes the cleaner one, the messy one doesn't care or even really notice.
Are your wife and MIL Asian? If so. Good luck. If not. Then try to convince your wife otherwise.
This I can cosign! I definitely agree the bf went about this the wrong way (going into detail about all the things he wanted to do and how he saw her was unnecessary and honestly thoughtless).
I also fully agree that discussing terms of a relationship, expectations, wants, needs, thoughts, and what kind of relationship there is should be done before becoming official or at least very early into it. And while people can't always know how they feel about things or those feelings change, it is incumbent on them to be considerate of their partners in how they share those desires. And it is extra important to respect when their partner has or may have boundaries against them in how you approach them and respond afterwards.
I feel like those same questions/feelings could apply to not just friends is all.
“Why are you with me then (if you want anyone else, am I myself not good enough for you)?”
“Why aren't you with (other women) if you want to be with other women, it could be just with anybody right? I must not be special to you”
“If we were to have a threesome would you develop feelings for the other person regardless of who they were?”
Nonmonogamy takes a LOT of trust, security, communication, understanding, honesty, and mutual respect. Even with those things it's not for everyone. And if brought up to a strictly monogamous partner, no mater how it's phrased, there is always the chance they may feel they aren't enough for you when you view things completely differently.
OP's bf was insensitive in how he brought this up, I'm not disputing that nor is it my intention to defend him in that regard. But I don't think it's necessarily wrong to feel attraction for others or have fantasies themselves of friends/other people if it doesn't change how you treat them. OP could wonder if he is ever thinking about/fantasizing about sex with other women without having asked him, and she can't control his impulses/turn ons any more than he can.
If the concern is that the brazen way he expressed his desires indicates he perhaps doesn't value their relationship and thus OP I can agree with that much more. But just having the thoughts? I can't