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KURT, 19 y.o.
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Date: October 18, 2022
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People can be friends with their exes.
That's just a drama queen, if she's always like this I don't know how you've made it 18 months together. The friendship thing makes. Me think she might just enjoy the drama and being the victim.
I get the “feeling a lot” thing, I can be quite emotional myself but this is ridiculous!
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Do you think he’s the one just because he hasn’t treated you like other people have in the past?
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I’m really proud of you for the way you handled it from the beginning of trusting her not going into because you can’t stop somebody from doing something they want to do. And I’m even prouder of your response afterward though I know it’s heartbreaking for you. Just move on with your life I promise you you will find somebody else that loves you and doesn’t do that but you’re a gym and a keeper. Good luck to you.
“Neither of us have anyone we could ask to be roommates”
Agreed. I had a friend who is bi-polar and Borderline Personality disorder. She was on a really low and told me some really fucked up things. Since she is a really great friend I told her we need to back off and that when she is ready to apologize to me, she can come back and we can talk.
Thing is… she is not my wife. If she continued that treatment to me, and didn’t admit she was having a low moment and that is really how she felt, I would walk away. Being sick NEVER gives the person the right to emotionally abuse others.
We need to protect ourselves and not keep letting ourselves get hit.
There is nothing in this situation for your benefit. Seriously. Financially, physically, etc. nothing.
He gets a online in maid and fuck toy, while you carry the financial load so he can smoke weed and play video games.
Where exactly is his compromise? He’s not giving up anything. A compromise involves both people giving up some of their “ideal” in order to both be mostly happy. He’s not compromising at all.
It is absolutely ridiculous for him to expect you to just bounce around with your stuff while he takes over two rooms. Maybe he should make his workplace in the living room or dining room while you take one of the upstairs extra rooms.
You’re allowed to have a no-porn boundary. More people than you would think do. If he isn’t okay to respect something that’s a boundary for you, then the relationship probably won’t work out.
I get really tired of people screaming about how stupid and immature people who don’t like their partners watching porn are. You are allowed to not like it, it doesn’t make you a bad person, or “ridiculously insecure”. Not wanting your partner jerking off to other people is normal imo. So many studies have proven how bad porn is for peoples mentalities and how they treat their relationships. If you don’t mind it, fine, but I promise you it’s okay to be uncomfortable with it.
Use your words. She can’t read your mind.
It really sucks when you lose a good homie like that, especially over something seemingly out of the blue. It sounds like he may be dealing with some unresolved feelings from the fallout back in October, but blowing up at you like that isn't healthy or fair. It's tough to say what to do in this situation, but you've already done what you can by apologizing and reaching out to him. It might be best to just give him some space for a little while and let him cool off. If he's really your friend, hopefully he'll come around eventually and you can have an honest conversation about what's been bothering him. In the meantime, don't beat yourself up over it and keep yourself open to making new gaming buddies.
Try and not worry about it. He might not know what to say.
What did you say exactly in the text?
Don’t be depend on her, there is no respect there. Don’t keep maintain the relationship, whatever respect she had for you is gone regardless if you want to keep going or not.
I'm not being snarky, but I did figure this was a first relationship. With love should come trust and respect. At this point you have neither from her. What is there left to build on.
Move on.
Sounds like a “him” problem.
Well, i suggest you hope for the best but plan on the worse.
Not knowing your details or your feeling , I would suggest making sure your finances are in order, and if you think he may be cheating, get tested for STD's.
I know it sounds harsh and jumping to conclusions but make sure you are safe and healthy moving forward is your focus.
From here you now have that seed of distrust and need to start watching for other things you may have missed. take your time and hopefully you are proven wrong but always play it safe.
I made him delete anything incriminating regarding me and snooped through all his files to make sure there's nothing
Also is important to know, IMO, when did this happen. I know that I was an asshole when I was a teenager and have done wrong by some people and wouldn't do that anymore.
We’ll done, you’ve really thought this through.
You have a good head on your shoulders & from what you’ve said, your boyfriend sounds supportive. You know what to do next, do it with confidence & preparation.
If he wanted to . . . he would.
He doesn’t want to.
Don’t waste another ten years on this man.
Spend some time reading in r/justnomil and see if any of the mothers being described match up with your mother's change in demeanor since you started seeing your girlfriend.
One night we got into an argument about it and my mother said that I was being “manipulated and controlled” by my girlfriend and that I'm “very easily manipulated and controlled” based off of my personality alone.
Because she's been manipulating you up to now?
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this.