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Date: October 7, 2022
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Well she's fucked. Good luck to her now trying to find a man in her 45.
You stay strong my man. You did nothing wrong and you will get over it. Let time do its job.
Well first of all he won't wash the fucking sheets
Divorce him and gets what owed to you. She can have him full time when he needs to move in with her because you got the family home…
someone beat the shit out of your fiancée and disrespected your relationship.
Thank you x
I hate to be that redditor, but you should break up. You aren’t compatible and she seems to not want to accept responsibility for her words and her immediate response is to gaslight you…
I do wonder if it was intentional to leave them out. She has mentioned that I'm the first guy she's ever met that didn't start live!. I wonder if that means she's worried I only like her in the assumed context of a cisgender girl and that I won't like her if she tells me. Or if she worries I'll be angry at her like some people can be. Or is she just enjoying being liked as a girl without having to preface it with being trans?
I should probably clarify. Its been 9 months. We both clearly describe each other as partners etc. I'm not just assuming she is my GF!
Ask them if there's something that's missing from sex. My friend used to complain about his ex (my other freind) not fucking often enough, but once they broke up she told me he hardly ever ate her out or did any foreplay so it was thoroughly unpleasant for her. Not saying it's that, just an example but might be something small or that she simply has a lower libido, nothing can be gained from stopping communication.
You can't find them because there are no sources that say you have to do a physical hold if someone bites you.
Where is this policy taking place?
I refuse to believe this story
You are looking at this as something that won't give you pleasure, however you won't know that until you try it maybe even a few times with him. He may see this as a great gift because it can take your sexual relationship to a whole other level then you ever knew was possible. Don't be so quick to think that anal sex can't be satisfying. There are many people who only do that and those who love it more than vaginal sex alone.
if his colour is blue, and yours are either green or blue it is impossible for him to be the father. not less then 1, a clear 0.
by your post hes probably suspecting something, and he is letting you know there is no room for bullshit.
At this point I think she would accept as little as a “sorry boo won’t do it again”
Ok!
Then I will add a few things. You are clearly in love with her, but she is not in love with you. Your error is that you behave as a)you are a couple and not friends (buying stuff – ensuring her financial safety) and b) moving around just to be close to her and then not moving back when she did not move herself.
This is obsessive and controlling behavior – and to a large extent you have brought this on yourself. You made yourself into a security blanket and a piggy bank without having things clear between you – and as such you have made some seriously abnormal behavior patterns for your friendship.
I think you will have to accept that the money you have invested in her are gone. (Unless it was very clear that you were loaning her money)
Please take this as a learning experience. You can not demand love for money. She gave you what she had companionship and “friendship”. That I feel that she was misusing you and to some extend manipulating you for money – is to some degree due to your own readiness to give her money for what you thought (maybe subconsciously) was love.
I hope all the best – this is a difficult situation to experience.
My parents are on their third labrador.
Labs have a lot of energy, chew everything, are a little dumb, and are very food motivated. I've loved every lab, especially the one I grew up with, but I think they work best for families with children because children also have energy.
Labs are super friendly. They love everybody. Just be prepared for the chewing and the sad, hungry eyes.
I would skip the family dinner also. Catch up on sleep and think about this relationship. You pay the mofo rent. And he has the balls to do this. Not much respect.
True!
He sounds super butt hurt and jealous
Dude your going to loose a lot of weight if you continue to assume, when she's not around. Just pray history doesn't repeat itself.
She'll get caught if she thinks she's smart
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All the other people's advice on herebis spot on. Listen to it. You are the asshole here.
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He's emotionally cheating with you. You have to decide that you want better than that for yourself.
This leads nowhere good, even if you two end up together. They might make you feel special, but at the same time, he's getting off having his cake and eating it to. If you end up as main boo, it'll only be a question as to when their next side boo comes along.
If that's the path you're wanting for yourself, keep proceeding as you are.
Dude, this sucks. I wish I had some advice. Instead ? here’s a hug.
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Yes, I've seen the charge. Apparently the police came in as she was attacking him and that's how she got the charge. I saw it live! when we first got together and it listed her as the abuser.
There's been nothing else sketchy going on and everything has seemed normal until now, I never got any weird feeling he might be cheating or anything. Yeah, he might go into town and spend a night every few weeks away, but I think that's normal. He also told me to consider the source and seems to get upset that I keep talking to him about this because he says nothing is going on and that I have nothing to worry about. I trust him, this was just sketchy to me.
Did I read this correctly – you have been dating for four weeks, and two of those weeks you were no contact, she's in love with her ex and actively trying to get her back, but also wants to keep dating you?
Come on.
?
If I were you I would jusy cut out her and the whole friend group, and there are a number of reasons for that.
For starters they, especially she, has shown you where their priorities lie, which is in self preservation and lying instead of being honest with you and prioritizing the friendship with you. These people cannot be trusted, and I cant keep watching my own back. Making new friends is far easier than reconciling old one.
Also, if this ex guy is integrated in your friend group, its not fair to your bf to ask him to be around ex, so you'd have to cut thr group off anyways. Again, they didn't think about you and your new bf and didn't even ask you when integrating your ex into the group.
Ghost her don't tell her shit. If her friends start coming at you get them in a group chat without her and send the screenshots but NEVER SPEAK TO HER AGAIN. It is way worse on a cheater than confronting them.
To guilt you into coming back.
For all we know, he will be into that, so yeah. The porn category he is into is full of pain and suffering. I think he knows the reality and simply values his pleasure more than the wellbeing of others. It doesn't mean he will be willing to cross those lines irl, but the fact that he doesn't want her to do prep is a red flag.
The part that gets me is her cognitive dissonance. They had an agreement, she was going to get rid of it, and backed out and expected dad to completely fucking take up the reins and expects him to be active. You can't make people play house with you especially when there's an actual child at stake here
Stop worrying about labels and communicate with your friend.
Influencers lie all the time. Your girlfriend's got her head screwed on right.
You should break up with her, I'm sure in time she'll realise what a dodged bullet this relationship would be.
While the other walks around on eggshells in constant fear of upsetting their partner.
She can plan purposeful dates. You don’t have to do all the work in the relationship. It’s a partnership.
My thoughts exactly! I feel like there ISNT an issue. If there’s any context she says I’m excluding her from this part of me. An unfair assertion, in my opinion. Sigh.
That is not at all how it works or why people use safewords. They don't imply CNC. “No” or “Stop” are not appropriate safe words. They're too ambiguous and can slip out in even the most vanilla play.
Something that's fairly common is the red-yellow-green safe word set. Like a traffic light, green means go or 'it's safe to continue because I'm enjoying this too;' yellow means 'slow down or redirect to another activity' (the exact implications of yellow should be discussed prior to entering any kind of scene with someone); and red means 'stop the scene'
This kind of system allows for more nuance than 'no.' Also, green-yellow-red allows and encourages an inexperienced dom (which it sounds like OP's bf is) to check on their sub's mental state without having to stop the scene completely.
You're with a creep who doesn't appreciate you.
Divorce him and put alimony and child support in your pocket, before he goes out and gets some new teenage strange. Because yes, he will.
I would think she would be excited to hear from you. She knows how long you were In prison for. She knows you're out. Have you been using social media at all? Like updating it?
Just throwing it out there that she might have felt like it was a trap. Considering the lengths he’s gone to to “prove” she’s throwing the games, doesn’t seem beyond the realm of possibility
He thinks making money will make me happy cause it does him so he spends most his time doing that when in reality I just want him to spend time so I nag and we argue and it repeats it seems every other day now and we haven’t came to a good solution.
Shock, anger, fear, disgust: this post generates powerful knee-jerk reactions which hijack readers’ emotions. We can use this as an opportunity to practice being objective observers and active problem solvers.
Take a moment to pause; notice your feelings and then let them go. Once you are calm you can re-read the story—but this time, avoid making assumptions about the situation. This post has several characteristics that suggest OP is pretending to be pregnant. The motive for withholding the truth from her partner should not matter; she is refusing to take accountability for an uncomfortable situation she created and this post represents an attempt to shift all the blame onto him.
OP begins the post shaming her partner for his reaction to her pretend pregnancy. He is excited . It’s common for young couples to resents him because she doesn’t want kids. But remember: OP knows she isn’t pregnant, That’s fine, but the only reason OP is how common it is for people to decide to start a family only after pregnancy. She starts off by creating ambiguity and stokes flames of suspicion. She doesn’t paint a clear picture, but instead encourages you to jump to conclusions within the first two sentences. She hints that her partner broke a condom on purpose, writing about her long-time partner in an alienating manner. OP’s tone is distrustful and invites the audience to view her partner in a negative light.
By the end of the post, there is an enormous hole in the story: the OP is not pregnant and she has been withholding this vital fact from her partner and his family for weeks. This is not something you simply let your partner “figure it out by themselves” because you’re “too stressed to handle the conversation”.
OP, it doesn’t matter if you were upfront in the past about your stance: you owe your partner the truth. You may be uncomfortable with his reaction because it triggers relationship insecurity; you and your partner may realize you are incompatible with each other. It sounds like he believes you want kids, since you told him you could be pregnant and “left him to deal with it on his own”. Ultimately as unpleasant as this situation might be, you are responsible for telling him the truth.
If it were so simple. Parents unfortunately died 3 years ago and now they have only each other. I can not break that…
You're fourty-two, not eight lmao. I'm not understanding why you need a mandatory nap every day.
She has a lot of growing up to do, how does she think parents take care of their disabled children who can't afford a caretaker? You have to clean the genitals as well.
What on gods green earth are you trying to say
If you're worried about marrying her now versus later due to finances, how does that change anything? Yes there are costs involved for the wedding and all, but if you wait ~10 years for it, then factor in cost of living and inflation, you'll be paying considerably more by then.
If you know you love her, and you want to marry her, I would suggest going for it. You've been together 5 years already, thats longer than a lot of marriages in itself. And shes right to feel concerned that you're stringer her along.
You need to be honest with yourself and what you really want. You did mention as well that shes your first girlfriend, implying perhaps you're missing out on other women out there. If thats the case, didnt you mention shes beautiful, smart and sexy? If you're still on the fence after 5 years, do her the courtesy of cutting her loose so she doesnt waste her time on someone who doesnt have the same desires as she does.
It doesn't have to be cheating to be unacceptable to you, it could just be that you don't think the lifestyle he leads is something you want to live! with. Always wondering why about a partner can be a grinding thing to your trust.
Let’s put it this way: your wife sees you supporting someone who broke their vows. You disagree with breaking vows, but not if this person does it. This person will most likely be single soon. This person, who you support, is now known to your wife for being okay with breaking vows instead of working with their spouse to solve the issues in their marriage. You support someone breaking vows because they wouldn’t communicate.
If I was your wife, I would be pretty upset too.
You’re not wrong to feel hurt, but you’ll be seriously deficient in judgment if you stay with him.
Ask yourself this: Do you want to be with a girl who judges attraction based on income?
You deserve everything that comes next when you decide to go to therapy after finding him fckn his stepsister. Such a tard.
We have the same political views on a large scale, which is why it blows my mind how we can end up so hateful over such a small difference of opinions.
When we disagree, he doesn’t give any value to my opinion. His matters & mine is “ignorant & uninformed”. They’re opinions. They’re predictions. Not one person is right or wrong in and opinion or prediction, in my “opinion.” He speaks in such absolutes when responding to my thoughts or opinions…
I moved from my home state with him (because my family is toxic & I needed to get away to grow. I thought a new environment would help, but it didn’t. All it did was take away the security I had of going to a family members house (instead of the porch or car.)
We are to start therapy next Saturday & obviously some of my own faults will be pointed out to work on, but I’m worried when his faults are pointed out, he won’t even care..
Delete, ignore.
this guys a jackass, but he’s kinda not wrong that it’ll be awkward. that’s natural, so is being nervous. just take it slow, remember foreplay, and make her feel desired. communicate; let her show you how she likes things, and listen to them.
Wait, so is she free to do whatever on this trip? Where did she go and with whom?
She's the one that asks for it, she's very much into it.
Your experiences are not universal, just because you dislike anal doesn't mean everyone does.
Better for a child to be out of a broken home than living in one.
I wrote it on my phone and it literally just fell out of my brain I do apologise, I will reformat on my laptop later.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
I'm crushed. I know I'm not perfect but I would never do that to him. We've been married over 13 years and we've always had a yin and yang type of relationship. We're total opposites but we complete each other, or so I thought. He says he wouldn't know what he would do without me in his life, but he's still willing to take one step closer to finding out. The list seems to me to be all his perception of situations, how he has chosen to view them, yet all the blame lies with me. It's like the point was to make me feel horrible about myself.
The list includes things like I'm selfish, I don't initiate sex more than 3 times a month which means I don't want him, I don't get instantly turned on by his presence, I don't want to hang out with his D&D friends, I have no idea how to be sexy, he bought us matching pj's and I've only worn them a few times, he's trying to grow as a person and I'm not, I don't like sci-fi TV shows, I get up to pee when he started to initiate (I come back), I don't like nipple play even though it's his favorite body part, I didn't take the bait when he was trying to set me up to ask about his fitness goals, never thought to talk to a doctor about low libido and how sex is not on my mind, he wishes i would have hooked up with someone when we were separated so he wouldnt feel so guilty, and that's not even the whole list.
He says if I'm only doing something sexually adventurous to make him happy, then it doesn't. He also says he understand the difference between spontaneous desire and responsive desire, but continues to act like I'm broken. He says it isn't all about sex but the parts that aren't just make me want to tell him I'm not his maid/mother.
After reading through the list, it feels a lot more like control and manipulation, trying to turn me into the person he wants instead of myself. It's a cycle, he gives up on trying to change me in a way that makes me feel like he's accepted me, but no.
Things I have done to “better” myself
He wants me to find out what kind of porn turns me on, so whenever I have a minute alone I try to do that. Not much success because it's a mental thing for me. Being spoiled and taken care of turns me on.
Experiment on Reddit because, as it turns out, attention from strangers does turn me on.
I have been able to change my mindset and be more open to sexy time, avg 3 times a week.
I've made the effort to understand why sex is so important to him.
I make an effort to be more adventurous even when it gives me anxiety.
I've managed to lose a decent amount of weight multiple times, but the cycle continued so I gave up and the weight gradually came back.
I'm working on being solely responsible for my own happiness.
I've been trying not to put the world before myself so much but look where that got me.
I took a job that I absolutely hate because the money makes thing better for my family. I suffer every day for it and have nothing left to give when I get home, but I'm stuck because comparable pay isn't out there right now.
I'm trying to accept the idea of marriage counseling.
I guess my question is how do I get him to see that his reality isn't the only reality? That my needs are different than his needs and that hes warping these situations in his head to fit his narrative?
Not true. Burn out is real. Cleaning the house spotless all the time and never spending money on himself. Is the kind of the that under normal circumstances people would tell someone to give themselves a break. It’s more concerning for him cuz she might be wondering if this change is sustainable.
Dude is deflecting trying to push blame on you, def move on with your life. While I’m not a fan of checking up on people, you actually had a valid reason and he straight up lied. He’s clearly into the other girl and she is him. If you try to save it he’ll just get more clever with the lies and trying to hang out with ole girl. If he wasn’t doing any thing bad he wouldn’t have lied. Cut dude out.
Knocking her out won't make any symptoms sny better, it will just make her not be able to react. For example, she might still throw up, but she won't be able to make sure she doesn't inhale it. This might literally kill her. DON'T DO IT.
I can’t even read the post because the title is too disturbing: 3 kids by 22.
Most first loves don’t work out. Most people aren’t with their childhood sweetheart forever. It’s complicated now that you have children, but probably best to go to court to work out a custody and support order (if you can come to an agreement amongst yourselves you won’t need an attorney or may qualify for free help from legal aid).
You're calling the person who fucked your wife behind your back for years while pretending to be friendly to your face a great person to have around‽
May be but a heart to heart discussion could sort everything out
Regular earplugs are fine for that.
Yeah. Dude’s an AH. He could’ve easily played it off as a “I’m not really good with words, so I got AI to help tell you how much I love you.” Instead he laughed and tried to play it off as a joke.
Your boyfriend is full of doo-doo up to his ears. Yeah, men don't get approached by women in bars. Suuuure they don't. That's the most common way people meet!!
He is jealous and insecure, and he actually sounds like he plans to cheat on you, and because he knows that's what he's going to do, he assumes you will do the same thing.
You don't need an insecure little boy like this. You need a grown man who is secure enough to trust the woman he professes to love. Drop this loser and go on and live! your best life!
Sounds like you all need to start doing what you can do, not what you want to do. It's big decision time!
Why are you trying to date teenagers. Stop it.
Whether or not you call it one, you're still in a relationship. It sounds like this could get painful.
It doesn't matter what other people have done. No one can tell you if she is going to “come back to you” or not. That is not relationship advice.
Look I’m kind of an asshole already but I am the younger sibling in a similar but less dramatic situation. I would risk the friendship and say how uncool I think that is.
Ask her if she'd be into wearing an outfit for you in bed and chat a bit about making it fun for both of you. P.S. I'm picturing a cute lingerie outfit and some fun accessories under a puffer but can see the appeal of a full bundle too lol
This entire interactions sounds extremely manipulative on his part – both in his initial answer to your joking question and his subsequent behavior.
You were not “lying” to him and for him to call it that is extremely disingenuous.
It sounds like he says a lot of things that he's convinced you that you “take it too personally” – HINT: when a comment is a personal comment, the only way to take it is personally.
This person can’t handle confirming their own pregnancy let alone continuing it for 18+ years
To know the level of hormones? That's an indication of how far it has progressed and if it's viable
No more context is needed. This relationship has just run its course and you shouldn't allow yourself to be her backup plan between the new relationships she's seeking. She smacks of someone who can't be alone ever and that's a deep and dangerous character flaw.
Thats not an overreaction to your mistake. That's a conversation that needs to be had because he's got some built-up resentment he hasn't addressed. Your mistake was just what triggered the outburst.
He has it all right now. Stop letting that happen. Close yourself off to him. Leave him with the kids. Go out and enjoy your life.
Also – at 36 it’s unlikely he’s joining any kind of armed forces. Tell Peter Pan it’s time to grow up.
Hey! Sure. Last night we were out listening to a band with his cousin. He is afraid of dancing and I love to dance. His cousin invited me up to dance and we were just enjoying some of the music – for context it was not a club, most everyone there was 60+ and the band was playing Spanish rock.
A man who had been dancing earlier with his cousin came up and grabbed our hands, spun us both, and then we let go and danced in another part of the dance floor. He said he did not like me doing that and it was disrespectful. I apologized and asked if he could forgive me. He said yes.
When we got home he told me to shower because he didn’t want to hold me after another man had touched me, even though the man had only touched my hands.
We fought about it again this morning.
I wonder how many other girls he’s actively hiding the kid AND you from
I used to feel so embarrassed and shy around someone I liked. It was horrible. I got over this by forcing myself to practice talking to cute people. It was awful. It's easier now.
If it was me, and I were you, and I really wanted to talk to this cute girl at school, I would probably handle like this:
I'd write my number on a piece of paper with my name. I'd find a day after class when I'm feeling brave. I'd probably promise myself a reward for going through with it. I'll pull her aside say “hi!” she'll say hi back. ask her how she is, she'll say good or whatever. then i'd say, “I'd like to get to know you a bit. Is it okay if I give you my number?” and give her your number.
I asked out my partner like this, basically. Then we got to text and get to know each other over text before having an actual date, where we had some common ground that made it so easy to talk to each other!
Let me caveat this by saying that I am nerdy and not smooth and I need my partners to be okay with that, so I was okay with having a kind of dorky giving of my number.
you didn't just compare a 73 year old still working and making $18/hour to warren buffet did you?
Nah. It's not victim blaming to expect a person to talk to their prospective fiance you're infantilizing her, an adult woman, which is in and of itself a very disrespectful act