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You're right. I will show him tomorrow. He's getting ready to leave for work now. I brought it up a little and he said she doesn't work with him tonight which is kind of relieving.
Kind of typical for an abuser to start escalating as soon as he feels like he has you locked down.
Look at the words you used. J have to solve this. It’s very telling.
You can't blame your friend. If you want to make plans then make them and communicate that and don't expect friends to transport you around. That make you seem like a user or dead weight. She didn't change her plan…there was no plan. She maybe should of told you she can't help you but aside from that she wasn't wrong. You're 25 be responsible and get your life together.
.
The sister is playing the long game to break the two of you up. It's not unusual nor uncommon. You have simply reached the point where you will no longer accept the abuse handed out by the sister.
The real issue here is that your SO has not stood by you but rather joined the sister against you.
What that really speaks of is the death of this relationship. At somepoint your SO and you have to have a real conversation about the toxicy otherwise you might as well break up now because it seams they have already chosen their sister over you.
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I agree, and I appreciate the honest answer. I believe I could have probably handled it better. Unfortunately, at the time, emotions were high, and alcohol was involved.
My sister used to live with my mother and father, together. When she turned 18, my father dipped, and my mother was left effectively homeless.
I'm not sure about healthcare or anything, but I'm open to hearing new options besides the county behavioral health center we are currently using.
Don't beat yourself up, this was just two grieving people that had drunken sex. Youre still processing your wife's death and her sister bears some similarities to her, in your drunken state its not naked to see why it happened. Just draw a line under it and move on.
I’m sorry that happened to you, those guys sound like dicks… like myself unfortunately. I don’t want to be some dead beat trash boyfriend though, I do want to fix my relationship so my girlfriend trusts me again.
It's not just drunk talk, it's very real shit. But, you also shouldn't be worried. The way you present it, he has excellent control over that. You're shocked, right? Didn't think he had it in him? Well, he's doing a great fucking job keeping it under control.
People have extreme anger for lots of reasons. Maybe his family was abusive and he doesn't want to be like that. Maybe he actually just has a pretty normal amount of anger and he only thinks its particularly severe because he doesn't really have a great handle on what other people's emotional lives are like.
But he was just opening up to you about his emotional life, it didn't resemble a murder confession or a foreshadowing of impending abuse imo.
Friend, don’t. The knife was a joke based on a previous Reddit post that went viral. The rest was serious however.
types paragraphs about why a 5 year age gap is wrong in the context of dating
“Would i have fun with a 20 year old at 25, absolutely”
bye ???
There no more internal debate to have. you know the right thing to do. Everyone has told you. You're just dragging this on because you're selfish and pompous and its convenient for you.
It’s all gonna roll downhill from here …
Looking for pity? Idk he isn't that type of guy. He is yoir typical Hispanic male machista. Hides all his feelings, needs to be strong 24/7 er at least appear that way. I know that's my one thing I always do this. I always try to fix broken people by loving them. One issue is I am currently in a relationship. Its abusive though and I am trying to leave. It's such a complicated situation but I was just so thrown off by his response never had that. I thought Maybe he felt bad rejecting me and said that?
Be careful with that because you're not on the lease. However, and a lot of States if you have been staying there longer than 30 days and received mail there, that is your legal residence. However, I would be making plans to leave. Try to start putting money back into an account that she doesn't know about. When I was planning to leave my abusive ex, I paid cash all around the house that he didn't find.
Hell, I even had some behind a light switch plate lol. It's easy to do. Unscrew the plate and put some cardboard in there to block the wires. Then hide your cash and screw it back on. She'll be none the wiser. It's actually a good thing that you're not on the lease because you won't have to pay to break your part of the lease when you leave. You should also know that if you are able to obtain a restraining order against her, it will force her to leave the house.
Why did you stick around after the first broken promise? He showed you who he is.
Oh ok…. because if she can control it then there's reason to come at you like that
Trust is so naked to build back, especially after someone in the relationship cheating. I’ve seen people never fully recover and always wonder if the other is cheating when they go out without them. If I were cheated on, the relationship would be over.
It also says he fully expects to trade her in for a newer model at some point.
I actually asked him about how he’d prefer that we contact and meet each other after I left, (I actually lives 3 hours away so it’s at least not like another country), he said since it’s not a distant relationship we don’t have to talk everyday, but if one of us miss the other one then the person should bring it up and ask for some more attention like a call or arrange a meet up. He could visit me and I could visit him depending on what we prefer. But at the same time I also concern that without frequent bonding, his feeling to me might fade, and I just feel really scared of opening up my heart to someone and eventually get disappointed again.
I know snapchat doesn't equal cheating but when she acted weird .it made it quite equal to cheating or even doing something bad over there
YTA It is a bag of chips, buy more. You aren't where the chips are anyway.
Oh look. The trash took itself out. Now all you gotta do is not go dumpster diving….
Dude, I like to keep everything short and to the point
Sleep required actually varies from human to human. It's not a set number. Some people can function perfectly fine with less sleep, though staying up late literally isn't an implication of sleeping less.
I've seen this post title before.
I agree. Find some better people to chat with. Not everyone is nice
Get out of here with that misogyny. She’s made it clear she’s doing the thing a hell of a lot of women do, which is try to be as polite as possible so as not to blow up her social life/friend group, and because women are often concerned that blocking someone who won’t take no for an answer, but who you will still run into in person, will lead to violence.
My reaction wasn’t really about the moving part as OP’s question wasn’t about that particularly. He mostly doesn’t understand why she wants to leave him.
As said before I think that’s not the right way to go, by then again we don’t have enough info to really know her reasons. I can understand she would want to be closer to family. OP can also move closer and start over there, see how that goes.
Okay but betrayal requires… a betrayal? He didn't do anything he said he wouldn't do, he just found out some life changing information that was actively withheld from him. That's not a betrayal because he didn't actually do anything except have a life before he met her. He didn't even withhold any information, he didn't have any to withhold! She has no reason to feel any less safe with him now than before, this reaction makes absolutely no sense.
Well done. It should not have taken this long for someone to point this out. It is childish, abisive behavior by a grown married woman who should be more mature.
Plenty of people have had difficult lives and still have basic empathy. I'm not saying he's the devil, I'm saying that this is a major, dangerous character flaw.
I'm going to venture a guess that your own childhood/family was abusive, is that correct?
I agree with all of this, and want to add on another thought. Women are often just conditioned to be ashamed of anything sexual. I bet you'd be surprised how many women didn't even know about their clitorous until a shockingly older age. Purity culture is still a things that still seeps into the most open-minded households.
We KNOW men masturbate. But, there's a whole mental burden around sex that is so deeply rooted in us, that we get these weird hang-ups when confronted with something we were conditioned to see as “wrong, dirty, private, or embarassing.”
I mean, what if a siblings, parent, or friend walked in on you? Awkwardness would last awhile. Yes, your fiance is your sexual partner, but this is probably the first time she's ever seen another person masturbating. It was simply a complete shock that sparked a lot of feelings she's probably never had to confront in that way.
I will say…asking you not to masturbate while she's at home is unreasonable. But, maybe don't address that until she's worked through her initial reactions.
That's so sad. I am a woman who watches porn, with and without men in it. I do t compare my SO to those men or their dicks, because those are professional performers. I don't compare myself to red carpet stars when I get ready to go out, because they have literal teams of people working on them. Porn stars at the grocery store look very similar to any other woman in sweats and no makeup grabbing almond milk. They're just regular women, doing a job.
It's tough as I know the core group of our mutual friends will side with her, regardless of what happened. They've reached out to me to offer support, but I don't want to be maintaining friendships with people who allowed/encouraged/enabled my ex to do what she did.
Lol good riddance
The only way this is going to be addressed, at all, is you speaking with your partner.
So I was being nosey on my significant other’s FB account
I would like to know how you justify this though as while sure, snooping is on one end of the scale, while finding this is the other – why did you want to look in the first place?
Regardless of anything else you need to get a two things straight:
-While I totally hate the premise of the whole “but we never said we were exclusive” excuse, were you? Did you have a reasonable belief you were or was this ever said? -If nothing else this means you should go get yourself tested as there's no telling what 2nd-hand ick you could've picked up if she's been with other folks while you thought you were her one-and-only all this time.
The above aside, this is to me something that would fundamentally break my trust, faith and desire to be with a partner anymore – there'd be no real “coming back” from knowing that they were A) Actively seeing someone else without making me aware B) Were having sex with them and C) purposefully leaving those two facts a secret – what she's said about you and being “forced” in a relationship is something else as well and is just icing on the cake.
What she's said to her friend is what she really thought. What she did with the other guy is what she really wanted.
Honestly this sounds like she “settled” for you, had her fun/cake and ate it and is presumably of the opinion you'd never find out.
Leave.
Easy and shor answer is : “no”. A more complex and elaborate one would be: “hell the fuck no”.
Yo still need to work in your self respect m8. Kudos for beating anorexia, but there is still work to do if you even fathom to get back with her.
28 is a reasonable age to have done all that, thanks.
Love is not a solid reason to remain in an abusive relationship. You are a victim of repeated emotional abuse.
You deserve better. Your future kids deserve a better role model.