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Date: February 16, 2023
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Yeah, my ex did this to me once, too.
We weren't even arguing, though. He was (loudly) getting ready for work while I was still in bed. I asked him to turn off the closet light, and he walked over, lifted the pillow i had put over my face to block the light, and spat on me.
Turns out he had some serious fucking issues. Honestly, I think anyone who would do that to another person, especially one they're supposed to love, has some serious fucking issues.
You need to find out if you can both flex a little – if not, your needs/expectations might be too different long term.
It’s fair for her to want to know if something is bothering you in a timely manner and it’s fair that you need time to process what you are feeling. Have you sat down to talk about these competing needs and what could be an acceptable timeline for both of you? While ideally she would like to know in the moment…you might not have fully processed how you are feeling. Maybe you can agree to something like 5 days or a week and as long as you bring it up within that timeline she can’t ask why you didn’t bring it up sooner – it would be assumed that you brought it up as soon as you yourself proceeded your emotions.