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my first day together [220 tokens remaining]
Date: October 18, 2022
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Wow, you sound exhausting.
I think he may have thought the day was going to go differently. Honestly it sounds like you ditched him. Maybe he thought you’d want to at least spend some time with him while he was learning to ski. And you didn’t do lunch with him? Weird. Sounds like he got hurt, was already pissed and bailed on you. Just my 2 cents.
I feel like your girlfriend deserves someone better than you.
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Haha just wait 'til the honeymoon phase has been over for ten years, her looks aren't the first thing you notice any more, and you realize the true meaning of the word -compatibility-.
Hint – it ain't this.
Why the fuck are you on the sub if you're going to ignore all the advice? I'll try your way. I T S A B A D I D E A
Hang on, you say you don’t know how you’ve been annoying and yet describe a scene where you pouted (which YOU did jokingly, per your usual) and he got ‘exasperated’ and then called you a pain in the ass. It sounds like you were literally being annoying and he maybe said something he could have said in a different way, but you sound like a pain in the ass if you jokingly pout often. He was clearly annoyed, by you being annoying. Now he was also clearly joking as much as you were as well and perhaps there was a miscommunication here on what’s supposed to be funny, but I would also look at the whole picture here.
Thank you for your reply, no she doesn’t have a high metabolism she always eats just a little bit and gives me her food to eat, so high metabolism is off the books i think. But she doesn’t have appetite most of the time tho, is that related to any medical issue?
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Do you want it to work because you still love him, don’t want a life without and want to forgive him or is it because you have a child together?
If your staying just for your child then your going to be miserable married to him, your child will pick up on it and that could do way more damage than having parents who are separated.
She wants you to be involved that much because she loves you and believes you were a good mother, not because she did not think about childcare enough.
You can and should absolutely open up to her about your feelings and that you are burnt out because that is okay and even if it will hurt the relationship shorttermly, you can maybe sit with them and think about solutions they and you are happy enough with.
That’s a lot of weight in a year…I’m concerned for her mental health.
Word. I'd save myself a lot of stress if I didn't see my family and friends as extensions of myself. But I thought this was normal to a degree. Wouldn't your mother, for instance, be disappointed if you did something stupid at school? Or made the news for some crime?
Glad things worked out for you!
If you think women are ever not aware we're potential victims everywhere…
Imo, she's upset about the “She'd keep it”. To her the two of you are a team, if anything were to happen it'd be the two of you, whatever the decision may be. But to you it's “she”, deciding something you don't want and wouldn't be a part of.
And, yeah, talk about it, because I get it, ten years is a lot of wait, if she wants kids. I don't know that she actually wants to wait that long, or that you truly want children and it's not something you abstractly aren't against (nothing wrong about that).
You have two options: either break up with her and go sleep with other people, or grow up and realize that there is more to life than having sex with a bunch of random people. If you’re okay with losing potentially the best match you’ll ever have since she’s “near perfect” go with the first. Under no circumstances should you try to sleep with other people while you’re dating her.
If not for the “fell in love very quick” part, I wouldn’t have seen this as a red flag. But her behaviour is very weird for sure.
Let her know about you wanting to wait till you’re 35 and do not budge. That way you’ll at least find a conclusion
Really? How :/
If you don't feel chemistry, she's not “the perfect girl.”
OP, do not listen to that regressive clown. You're getting tons of good advice elsewhere on the thread: don't let one bad actor covered in downvotes steer you in the wrong direction.
That’s good advice. I’m just anxious because a lot of the stuff he says is subtle, so I don’t want to speak out and then have him say that’s not how he meant it.
Personally monogamous relationships seem complicated to me but I guess it depends on what one is used to.
I mean personally I couldn't handle it if someone said something like “omg u hugged another girl, that's cheating”
It is not but who cares stop dating this dude
Thanks. I have friends but I want my romantic relationship to be a place I can recharge.
I know it's pretty late to call it “love”. I had feelings. Thanks for your advice, mate. I have to wake up
You gotta elaborate on “not feeling it” to get some real advice tbh
I mean, if I were your wife I don’t think I’d be furious over this. I don’t think your assumption was insane; with the limited context you had in the moment, it seemed suspicious and that makes sense to me. I’d have laughed this off with my boyfriend personally, after asserting that he should know better than to assume I’d cheat. I don’t think you’re the bad guy for this.
However, you definitely should have mentioned the phone immediately. “Who’s phone is that, in the bathroom?” You’d have known if she was up to anything by her reaction to that question. She probably finds it a bit odd that you proceeded to have dinner with her and acted strangely the entire time, sitting on your “knowledge” and stewing.
As for what you can do, just apologize anytime she mentions it and assure her that you don’t think she’d cheat, which is why finding the phone was so shocking and confusing to you… but at the time, not having all the needed info, it was the first thing that made logical sense. Don’t imply that she’s overreacting, everyone thinks differently and she does have a right to feel untrusted. She likely just needs time to cool off, just give her reassurance and whatnot.
That's fair and a good point.
Say no and start making arrangements for the dog to be rehomed now, before she moves.
She needs to be responsible for her irresponsible actions in deliberately getting a dog knowing she would be leaving it. She needs to be a part in taking the dog to the shelter.
Otherwise she’ll go home leaving you to deal with it and her conscience will be clear – out of sight out of mind.
Of course because information has no value. Couldn't be so that they could be an informed voter. Or spend their money in more ethical ways. Being informed is always more inherently good and helpful than willful, intentional ignorance. But sure if you need to justify ignorance to help yourself sleep then go ahead.
How about how the right is actively trying to attack women's health care? Shouldn't she know if a treatment option was removed because of their idiocy? You.litetwlly are championing people to bury their head in the sad. You are actively part of the problem. That's exactly what the fascists want you.to do because an informed populace is anathema to authoritarianism. And yes sometimes people simply being aware of the tactics and attempts to spread fascism is enough.
But you're in the process of getting divorced and she knows that, correct?
Is her friend your coworker? Why is this friend telling you so much?
Fucking on mushrooms is really awkward. I'm not convinced they did for this reason alone.