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1. This is rude and unnecessarily invalidating. Life is not a suffering Olympics. You can always find someone who has it worse off than you. That doesn’t mean that you’re never allowed to feel down or stressed or upset. We don’t do this with happiness (“there are people who have it way better than I do, I shouldn’t feel so happy/things could be better”) so why do it with sadness?

   Granted, there is a point at which constant negativity or complaining becomes unhealthy, but there’s nothing wrong with expressing frustration, stress, or dissatisfaction when the situation calls for it. You feel what you feel.

   It sounds like he doesn’t want to play the role of caretaker/support system. Does he do this with other things (bad day at work) or just physical illness? Part of this could be how he was raised (lots of men especially are raised that are expressing emotions = weakness, “tough it out” etc). Some people just don’t know how to be supportive/what to say so they just try to shut the whole thing down.

   Regardless, you are entitled to feel how you feel and to want a partner who supports you. Hopefully you guys can come to some kind of understanding about what you need and want in the relationship.

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