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Date: December 6, 2022
Goodness sakes. You have to be extremely young. If he has to travel for work he has to travel for work leave the relationship and don’t go into hysterics when he has to. This is a serious level of codependency at only a couple months into the relationship.
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I just want to know what other people think about this situation. Would you mind if your partner didn't have a college degree? Is it a deal breaker?
EDIT: I wasn't gonna add anything but for the people who found this question absurd; this is reddit y'all. It was just a question. No need to make a big deal out of it. Thanks to the ones who shared their opinions, I appreciate.
EDIT #2: Guys before commenting “Why would it matter?” please read the comments first and see how many people broke up just because of this. This is obviously a deal breaker for some people, so yes, it would matter.
Thank you so much for your comments. I should write a letter and decide whether to send it or not a bit later. Thank you so much
OP, the other posters here could totally be right, but I want to provide another perspective. Yesterday my partner slid a check I received day ago over to me and said “endorse this please”. I did. Still haven’t deposited it. (I will after I post this, I PROMISE.)
I come from a similar background to your husband. While I’ve gotten way way better about managing finances, checks still trip me up! I’ve never had a job where I was paid by check and actually cashed all of them. It’s absolutely insane. But when I get a check, my brain sees it as the money. It’s there and I can cash it whenever, but I got the money. (It’s possible this is a weird form of object permanence issues that stems from ADHD? I don’t know.)
Then, it’s taken too long for me to cash the check. In the past if I really needed access to the money, I’d go to the bank and make the deposit, or use mobile deposit. But if need doesn’t spur me into action I will keep “forgetting” or unintentionally deprioritizing the act of making the deposit. Because the money’s right there, in the check on my desk! Nothing short of an overdraft fee has ever been able to convince me otherwise. I say this realizing that I have a strange mental disconnect over this and your husband may as well.
When it’s gone on much too long I get embarrassed and worried the bank won’t take the check anymore. And I don’t want to raise it to my employer who (in my mind) will think I’m a dimwit for not depositing my check(s) on time. And I don’t want to raise it to my partner because I feel ashamed that I don’t pull my weight managing our finances, and foolish for not having done something that feels so easy. It feels terrible to feel like she has to babysit me when I’m managing money. Realistically though, I need the help.
So I get paid via direct deposit now. Sometimes I freelance and get a check, but my partner knows all this and will keep sliding it in front of me until something happens.
$17k is an insane amount of money in this context, but it might not be malicious. He might be flailing over something that feels very silly and difficult to put words to. That doesn’t mean a conversation doesn’t have to happen – it absolutely does. Just… don’t pack your bags quite yet.
Probably listened to a Tate motivational video
You are entirely too old to be this concerned about your girlfriend “liking” a photo on social media.
On it!!! Thanks so much
Your “closest friend” is hitting on your boyfriend. She clearly doesn’t respect you or your relationship.
So you’re both white and he’s a libertarian?
Oh man, welcome to life. Expectations are killing you. Don't get me wrong I was in the same situation, literally payed for everything, performed as good as I could in bed and took shit from her family and when I asked her to be a bit more supportive or just to execute the plans we had sometimes it didn't happen. Now, what I am getting to all of this, I realized what she did in her head was the most she could've done because to her that was the max effort. The message of my song is, we expect and that is not right, just because we want someone to change it doesn't mean shit. Sure some people will be open to change but you shouldn't count on it. The only thing I suggest you is to talk to her one more time and if that doesn't work it's time to move on but next time gather more data on the person so she will have all you need and want.
I am trying to be fair and give him benefit of doubt but I guess there's nothing that can fix this other than him actually gaining the experience head on.