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I will undress and touch [Multi Goal]
Date: April 11, 2023
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I should add that we have been together for over a year.
I fully second this! All these people in their early 20's, dating awful partners, need to understand how much time they'll end up wasting being unhappy if they don't move on
Girl, call a women's shelter and ask them to help you make a plan to get rid of him safely.
Do you feel you want to spend the rest of your life with her ? What vibes the idea of marrying her gives you ? You might be scared, you might be concerned of the future (work, finances etc), which is normal but on the other hand you want her to be with you. Then go for it. If it hurts your stomach, if you don't feel it in your bones, if the idea to build your life around you both repels you, then no doubt, don't marry her and be clear to her about it, which probably means the end of your relationship.
A secret friend is suspicious. A secret friend he buys shoes for, more so.
There's nothing to be unsure about. Though, I get it if you're busy and stressed with work and life.
I bought my exs engagement ring at 16, two weeks after we got back together. I knew she was the one immediately. I'm just stupid and never proposed when I promised I would and never did in the end. It was the biggest mistake I'd ever make.
Don't be stupid, anon.
Sounds like it's not an issue….ever think that she messaged the other guys more than you because she was actually spending her time with you in person? If you two weren't exclusive, she was free to do as she pleases…
With the above being said, I only take issue with the situation because she was “being explicit in communications” with multiple guys at the same time… To me, a girl should only be explicit with someone she's dating in an exclusive relationship…. by carrying on with multiple men at the same time, in makes me question her promiscuity and her past… I'd have asked her body count after seeing those message exchanges….
Probably because most people don’t outright say “I don’t want you to come”. It can be rude, can hurt someone’s feelings, lead to confrontation, etc. there are many reasons.
Idk if, from the details, I can confidently say she is “treating him like crap”.
Who in this family is working? Ditch the wife, get a job, get full custody of your daughter. Do what’s best for your daughter, end of story. I’m Assuming she will be in kindergarten full time next year?
I don't know what OP should do about it, but I agree with you that he's trying to make her the problem even though he's the problem. When I was younger and less gentle in my approach to… everything… I had a conversation that went basically like this with somebody I was dating.
Them: Don't say that anymore.
Me: Why?
Them: I hate how I look, and it just feels insulting when you say I'm naked… as though you could ever really think that.
Me: Okay, that's a problem. You don't get to accuse me of lying without a shred of evidence aside from your insecurity.
Them: …what?
Me: You just accused me of lying since you refuse to believe we don't share the same taste in physical attractiveness.
Them: No, that's not what – I just meant that I'm so ugly, and –
Me: So your opinion is objective, is it? You're the only person on earth who can accurately assess how good somebody looks?
Them: No! I just –
Me: I'm more objective than you anyway! Nobody is objective about their own looks. Maybe you should trust my judgment. You're obviously clueless about how attractive you are, so maybe you shouldn't try to act like you're well-informed on the topic.
Them: I'M UGLY!
Me: Stop accusing me of having bad taste! It's none of your business what I like and what I don't, so stop telling me what I like!
Etc.
Strangely, despite how rude and insensitive I was, they actually decided to go to therapy after that conversation. It's like it knocked some sense into them.
Report him to police.
Yeah moving forward, if I were you, I would consider threats of violence among my deal breakers. Whether they escalate to make good on their threats or not is irrelevant. You don’t give them that chance or allow them the habit of coercing you via threats of violence.
My husband has had to go visit his family alone this week during the 1st anniversary of his granny's passing because it's busy season at my job. He wanted me to go, but he understood that I couldn't.
It's not about toxic work culture, some of us work in sectors that you go into knowing you're going to have to put more time and effort into at certain point of the year. I work in higher education, so my busiest point of the year is now when end of year exams are being taken. It's an unspoken understanding between me and my manager that we don't take leave or go in holidays during the next couple of months unless necessary. Every day is busy, there's a lot to do and if I am absent, my link in the chain is gone and what we have worked naked to organise is affected.
Have a bit of compassion and I'm sure he'll plan something with you too.
So I guess you can't complain to your partner about anything….Your cold still is annoying and matters. You were sharing it with the person you love. I did not once hear you compare it to cancer or water boarding….He behaved like a jerk.
she’s already regretting it and she hasn’t even done it yet
Yeah no… honestly that's not great. That's sometimes worse. Because I'm sure u heard alot of tht as a kid.
I can't tell you what to do. But if you've spoken to her about that already and she's still getting verbally abusive with u and angry and now is leaning towards throwing shit at u. It's not a great sign. Yeah it was a towel bt what is she had a cup in her hand or a glass. Would it have been okay? No.. so why is throwing anything at anyone okay?
I teach 9year olds that it's okay to get angry but you are under no circumstances allowed or entitled to take your anger out of anyone else. You take a walk, go count to 10 and breathe. And they can understand this. Personal bubble space! Keeping hands to oneself!
So adults saying they can't control their anger or how they react to situations is bullshit!
yea, but it comes down to did she communicate it to him. I've seen people communicate their problems that never got fixed and others that hint or do not say anything while expecting their partner to figure it out themselves. depending on what she has said it is possible she is not innocent either in all of this.
No. They don't need to know before you serve her with the divorce papers.
The fact that you think for a second someone should even consider moving across the country for someone they've dated for 1 month isn't just a red flag, it's a road flare.
Once I misunderstood a friend and thought her babysitter would pick up my daughter from school, and I was at a conference, my partner had to leave work to pick her up. I felt really really bad about that, but it was a stupid mistake, caused by extreme fatigue from trying to fit five+ days' work into four in order to go to the conference.
My kids have both made it to adulthood despite me effing up all sorts of things like that.
Mistakes happen. The absolutely fabulous thing is that you learn from them. You didn't know that clasp didn't always shut clean, maybe it was the first time it didn't because of an inner spring losing its springiness or something. Now you know, and you'll make sure in the future. If your BF has never effed up, tell him to come and see me, I'll give him a medal that says “Most Perfect Jerk”.
If you are uncomfortable, then say no.
You do not have to meet anyone.
The fact that she’s “super close” to 2 of her exes is probably a massive red flag -especially seeing as you are both 20, which means she lacks the social and emotional maturity to deal with a relationship and the ending of it.
She can, and in some cases should be friends with past partners, but anything more than what is normal for a friend (which is different from person to person depending on how they treat their friends) is inappropriate.
But again – you do not have to meet anyone if you are uncomfortable.
You are also allowed to put relationship boundaries in place, especially around the situations surrounding exes – so that would include the amount of time spent with them (should never be more than the time spent with you) them not spending time together alone, in any setting that could be considered inappropriate (so no going back after a night out and staying “on the couch” etc)
Just remember that these boundaries apply to you as well, and would have to be agreed upon by both of you, and would not be solely based on exes – it would be a boundary for how you both show respect to each other and the relationship when dealing with friends etc.
I mean some people are just really trash with communicating through text. I would talk to her about what you're feeling in person.
Your mil sounds depressed. My advice is to ask your wife to insists her mother undergoes therapy before anything else. Working or not working is, at her age, more of a financial choice depending on her bank account, but the other behaviors seem off.
Then, you need to explain to your wife your feelings, and hear her side. If she's thinking this out of obligation, she will be miserable as well. Specially since their relationship is not good, as per your words.
Looks to me like your mil living with you will make both of you miserable
That’s not necessarily true. Some people, myself included, initiate distance as a means of preparing for the right moment to break the news.
This was the strategy in my last breakup. I became more distant as I gathered the strength, planning to exit.
Things take time. Planning a breakup, the aftermath, and preparing emotionally to leave someone is naked. Typically this manifests in distance.
They were being hyperbolic for the sake of what he’s asking. He’s not asking for those things, he’s asking for another full time job on top of his existing one and fatherhood. It’s simply not realistic and it would lead to burnout – him, her, everyone.
And also, it’s cold sores! Whether you have HSV1 or HSV2, most people have some form of it. It’s really not a big deal
i just got dumped by my bf too, i am grieving but i want to let you know as much as it’s tough, we got this! i’m still trying to fight for my relationship and u should too
Now that he’s shown you who he actually is, believe him, and leave.
It’s the blunt truth.
If someone comes along who she get strong feelings for she will leave you.
Because she will have found her one true love (in her mind).