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Date: October 3, 2022
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hey! current fourth year med student here – been in your shoes, its tough. for what its worth, there ARE people (your partner maybe being one of them) who will understand your time commitments and love you anyway as long as you put in what you can. Ive been in several relationships where we did our best and they were still great! That being said, you’re right that this is the reality of going into medicine. Those people are out there, but there’s less of them and the time commitment ramps up even more in med school and then residency. It sounds like you love the field and thats awesome!! Even with that, Its good to reflect if its for you from time to time. Happy to chat more, feel free to DM me!
He is a predator. Just because someone was kind and nurturing during the chase does not mean that’s who they are in the relationship. It’s a ploy, one that I fell for and its only going to get worse.
He has sexually coerced you, which is sexual assault.
Baby girl, run. Run.
why would u stay with someone who is selfish and mean… i stg all the posts on here are looking for justification as to why they should stay with the absolute worst partner, just be single and happy
Consequences for choises are not Threats
101 how to ruin a friendship
I mean I guess but, just because she feels that way doesn't make it so. People are individuals regardless of their familial ties to one another.
She hasn't stopped with the CP. Pedophiles dont change or stop unless incarcerated. She was running it by you and feeling you out to see if you were a pedophile, also. Leave. Like, yesterday. Ghost her. Block her on everything. Throw away all of your electronics. Phone, PC, tablet, that she had access to and could have used. Contact authorities. Anonymously. She's a piece of crap human. Scrub your mind of memories of her. Good luck.
Don’t move together unless you are absolutely sure.
Worse, if your relationship is close to falling apart. It’s time to address those issues and decide if the relationship is working.
Also, coercion is not consent to a non-monogamous relationship. My BIL fell into this trap when his ex-wife wanted an open marriage and basically bothered him about it until he said, “Fine, do whatever you want.” Like other forms of consent, if it isn't an enthusiastic yes, it's a no. Notice I also said “ex-wife”.
The comment he makes isn’t a statement about his feelings
Being told as a guy … is extremely hurtful.
If you re-read his comment, he is making a statement directly about how this can make men feel. The feeling they experience is extremely hurt. He is not judging or demanding in any capacity here. Women are justified to express themselves, but words can be hurtful if they're not expressed with tact and care. Two things can be true at the same time.
This is something to seek therapy for
It is not women’s responsibility … It is their responsibility to learn that.
I totally agree with you. As I mentioned in my last comment, this insecurity of men is not an excuse to avoid healthy communication, and it's not a healthy mindset to begin with. I agree with you that therapy could greatly help.
Everyone has insecurities because it's human nature. I have insecurities. You have insecurities. Maybe you're insecure about your appearance, or maybe you're jealous. If you're in a relationship, would you want your partner to scrutinize you for your insecurities, tell you to just get over it, dismiss your feelings, and question your sexuality?
That's not how parters are supposed to treat each other in a relationship, and that's not how you support someone to overcome an insecurity. It requires patience, love, understanding, compassion, reassurance, and some time. It is also possible to express your needs and feelings while also respecting your partner's needs and feelings.
We're all humans. We're not perfect and we all have flaws. We should try treat each other as we'd hope someone would treat us.
Regret about the past means you have grown as a person. We all regret many things in our past.
When he brings up how you had acted in the past, apologize for the mistreatment, thank him for his patience and for noticing your improvement, then compliment him for being a great husband. Also, let him know if you start returning to your old ways in even small ways to take note and help you bring it up to the doctor… meds sometimes need adjustments.
Yikes. I could be wrong but maybe he thinks you’re of “less value” because you only attract “ugly men”. I truly hope not for your sake, but it’s happened to me before. I would leave it alone for a bit, but talk to him when things have calmed down. If I’m right, you don’t want to be with a man like this. THEY are the ones of low value and low worth.