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Room for on-line sex video chat MarinaLady
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Birth Date: 1973-12-06
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Date: January 8, 2023
“definitely not a mind game power play” *proceeds to manipulate his wife with divorce papers
So you're now fantasizing about leaving your husband and getting involved with a man who literally dumped you on your ass and didn't even stick around to be friends because he found a girlfriend? You're an idiot and you don't deserve your husband. If you were any kind of a decent human being you would leave your husband before he figures out what you're doing.
PS Your so called friend isn't much of a friend if he knows you're married and hes pulling this shit. The only reason hes even in touch with you now is because he and his girlfriend broke up. If that hadn't happened do you honestly think he would have gotten ahold of you?
Gross. Your fiancé is sexist to boot. You picked a winner
You guys may have not been official but aren't you guys dating to get to know each other and build something meaningful that could lead into a relationship? At this stage you guys are literally figuring out if you're a good match and if both parties have integrity. How can he focus on you if he's entertaining other people? unless he told you straight up he's non-monogamous, but it seems like he didn't from your post.
If someone, who you've had a relationship with for 2,5 years, breaks up with you over text, you aren't the problem. He is.
You HAVE got your shit together. You're doing amazing, balancing a full time job, a part time job and an education.
What should I do?
Count your blessings you weren't married. Go on and live your best life. Oh, and don't take this guy back when he does come to try and start your relationship again.
UpdateMe!
Sorry, your boyfriend is insane. Hope your next one doesn't have a weird hang up about your background.
Oh lady, you aren't ready for a relationship with the new partner. You need time to get over your old toxic flame. I'd say take things super slow with your new man and in the meantime cut contact with your “ex”. Write out all the things that hurt you in that relationship and have it ready when you start missing them. As time goes by people tend to remember only the good things. The fact that he turned on the waterworks right when you chose to break it off and get someone better says a lot. You know he is immature and not ready. If he were, you guys would have been together by now
You can still apply if you can show it was done under fraud, duress or material mistake of fact, but there's no guarantees.
Why would you say that? I need advice and how to solve this thing and find out the truth. I have acknowledged my mistakes and I'm trying to get better, but you can't say that. You just wanna work me up.
This year a goal of mine is to cut out people that do not make my life better. This would be one for you. He does not make your life better, literally only worse. Your parents think you should deal with it because everyone else has. Break the cycle
She is only 20 and still needs to learn A LOT.
You seem to be looking at her not dating anyone else as a positive when in fact it's a pretty glaring red flag. It's absolutely normal, even healthy that people reach a certain age and start wondering if there's more out there than the person they dated in childhood. If she hasn't done that yet it's likely coming at some point. So don't get your newly experienced self into a situation where she'll do the same thing to you that you did to her. If you're the only person she's ever been with she simply doesn't have the experience to know if you're really the one she's meant to be with.
Well when I had a ldr we also went to sleep while in a call with each other. (same time zone)
I mean…. Why not o-o
Honestly, I feel there's always going to be something with his brother that will disrupt your life one way or the other. I'm older than you but if I'd be in your shoes, I'd postpone the wedding indefinitely or elope without telling anyone. You had the party… so fuck the rest. It's just for show. If you want to marry your guy, do it without the fanfare. Also… keep is brother out of your lives as much as you can. But I also think you have a boyfriend/husband problem with regards to his boundaries and his emeshement with his brother…
Think long and hard if you want to continue like this or make (maybe drastic) changes. It's your life we're talking about…
99% of the problems in these posts lately can be solved by not dating someone more than 3-5 years older than you.
I think everyone defines for themselves what’s too much for a first date. You already said you had no issue with sex on a first date, so I don’t see where this would have been inappropriate. Consent is the important factor though. He probably assumed he had your enthusiastic consent since you were making out, you clearly did not consent and he backed off. I think it’s more of a miscommunication at this point.
If I were your gf and I found out this was going on, I’d do you the favor and dump you myself. You’ve been emotionally cheating. Cheating nonetheless so a shitty person. The girl you’re flirting with is a shitty person. It’s better for the world that two shitty people keep to themselves and leave the rest of us for someone who isn’t shitty
What’s your definition of a generous tip?
Don't stay with someone who barely pays attention to you. You're worth more than that.
Sounds like you guys rushing into living together is freaking her out.
Came to say the same thing. Sexual compatibility is necessary for a relationship to work.
OP, you were acting under the guise of having come to a compromise. You initiate and she reciprocate when she is ok with it. Then she changed it to you should ask vs physically initiate which you did. It may seem to her like you want it so often because of the 4-5 times you asked she rejected your advances, so you kept asking as the need was never met. You didn’t cross any boundary, you followed her request and respected her boundary. Especially if you didn’t try to continue to pursue sex when she said no.
She has every right to not want to have sex, just as you have every right to want it. Doesn’t seem like your compromise is working for either of you. Might be time for each of you to find someone you have more compatibility. If you stay, both of you will end up resentful. You by not having your physical needs met and her by feeling pressure to have sex.
What is OH short for?
nah, I left it and i didn't bring it up again just to leave it cause I was nice to her last night and I was sweet as she's just started period and I was thinking let me just be the bigger person now that she's admitted to lying about it. When she said that “I lied to just be petty”, I was alright with that. We were sweet to each other last night and slept on the phone together it was all normal. She has PMDD i think.
Then today she wakes up and messages me about the fact that even if the lie was true I'm not understanding and that I don't know her. She said I don't know her because if i really did I'd know the lie wasn't true. She proceeded to say because you don't know me let's set new boundaries and the sort. So i just explained how everything she said doesn't make sense and it ended up with the main post.
There's more on this situation on the other comment
It's fine for a short-term relationship, but it is very unlikely to work in the long run, especially given that she is already concerned about being too old for you.
In 10 years, she will be almost 40 while you will still be in your early thirties. She will look significantly older than you and will likely be complaining about it even moreso than now. Once menopause hits, her ovaries will basically stop producing estrogen.That will cause her pussy to lose its elasticity and dry out, drastically reducing her ability to enjoy sex.
This is why posting videos in the first place is a stupid thing to do. Here in France you'd be able to sue whoever posted it without permission.
NO. Why would you?
I do this too. My partner is from a big family where everyone is competing to get a word in edgeways, whereas I only had a not-talkative brother who left home when I hit my teens. So I just wait for him to finish talking, holding up my hand to show that I'm to speak next. It annoys him, but I tell him if he'd just let me finish, I wouldn't have to do it.
u/Juju_salem73 you're hitting it on the head here. Doing things for the sake of the child is something all people dating parents have to deal with.
Doing something like this, after the ex has offered a sexual/physical relationship, and not seeing an issue with it would be obliviousness at worst. The OP has every right to question this especially after his gf said she was considering the offer.
OP she's told you she's not invested in this relationship as much as you OR worse she's not fully over her ex and all hence her thinking about the offer. Might be best for you to cut it off now, looks like the ex having those dinners “for the sake of the child” might not have been as innocent as they were portrayed.
Yeah I didn’t see it like that, it’s true, it’s just killing me to imagine myself hurting him by breaking up, he doesn’t deserve any type of pain, he’s a sweetheart and shouldn’t have to go through that, ever, especially after I broke up once. I know that staying is worse, I just don’t know how to do it.
She didn’t “make him” believe anything. She shared a belief that she herself had. If he wanted to be certain to never father a child, he should’ve worn condoms or gotten a vasectomy. Your phrasing is misogynistic.
Your girlfriend has an issue with boundaries. She has a need to be liked, or at least she is non confrontational and doesn’t want to anger this guy.
She isn’t still on Tinder now, right?
I'd suspect…
(a) that yes, this bad stuff is happening to you, and it's not fair
(b) I know that moving here helped make this happen
(c) I love and support you, and your feelings are important
(d) I'll be active in pushing back against people who treat you like an offender, and I'll support however you want to confront these people to make this stop.
Yeah, “a little put off” was definitely an understatement from my end. I think it's more of a difference of morals. If my friend stayed in a relationship with someone who we both knew had criminal history, history that specifically involved molesting a child, it would strike me as my friend not viewing sexual abuse as being as horrific as it is. As something permissible with time. Immediately cutting off a friendship over that with no conversation beforehand is a bit of a hasty decision, though, yes.
It’s because you’re unbothered. You’re not reacting the way he expects. You’re not in despair nor fighting to to keep him. His ego is probably bruised.
She's not yours anymore. She's found someone's she's interested in and wants to either guilt you into agreeing with her plan or making you break up with her. There's truly no point in moving forward even if she changes her mind.
If we're being honest, the average guy loses if they agree to an open relationship. Women have a way easier time finding someone than men do. It's not even gonna be close to “I get to sleep with other women, too” deal. Most threads here end up in the guy just ending up frustrated or regret that they agreed to an open relationship.
Yeah that was super respectful of his boundary… /s
I am a simple guy.
If a girl is into me then she isn't sleeping with other people.
I don't really care what point of the relationship it is. First date or months into it.
I call it “I'm the last dick rule”.
If we have slept together and another dick has come into the picture then I will never consider her for a serious relationship.
I would take screenshots and confront her directly. “So. I see you've been sexting this guy. You really think I'm stupid, eh? I want DNA tests on all the kids since you clearly don't cherish our wedding vows. This is cheating, no matter how you downplay it or try to excuse it.”
Divorce is better than staying with a cheater!
Drop the dud. Find someone who isn't creepy like your uncle was.
If he's actually diagnosed, and not just being accused by armchair therapists, then this is a serious issue you should consult a professional about because it means he has no empathy or feelings/care for others, including you. But based on your replies, it seems he has already manipulated you because you're not even willing to accept the reality of the situation.
I'm also willing to bet there's a lot more your mum has observed about your relationship that you didn't mention here because of said manipulation. Ordinarily, I'd say “you do you” but you're also bringing a child into this. You should act more responsibly but oh well.
Most likely he already has someone in mind that he wants to fuck, so he wants an “open marriage” as a license to cheat.
He treat you like a prostitute, worse you did it for free.
I agree. My red flag detector is definitely up about exactly all of the reasons you just listed. The job as a property manager is his second job, so he goes to work during the day and then checks properties at night. So I wonder if he’s just telling her that’s where he is. I honestly have no idea, I’m just getting a weird feeling from it. I have known this person for like 2 seconds so I’m not all that invested, but don’t want to start investing if this is what it’s starting out as.
Divorce isn't an option, and I don't want to force her to do anything. Thanks for your input, I'll look into it and let her know 🙂
That would’ve been reasonable. I can’t believe me asking a reasonable question is turned around to me making accusations. It’s not even the context of what’s going on. It’s how he’s treating me afterwards which makes all of this weirder.
Just on one point in where you seem to infer your girlfriend is “easy” cos you had sex so quickly- I wanted to bang the guy I'm seeing ON SIGHT. haven't felt like that before, or since
If you do have BPD it can be very difficult to diagnose. And I know from experience some psychologists and psychiatrists won't even treat BPD because they don't believe there is an effective treatment for it. Some believe DBT can be effective but my understanding is it is ass effective as AA is for alcoholics. In that it has the highest margin for success but that margin is still very low.
However, you need to see someone to get a diagnosis before any of that. In the meantime, I would look into codependency support groups. Because even if you aren't borderline you definitely sound codependent.
It's not the act itself. If she couldn't for, let's say, medical reasons, I'd have no problem at all. Maybe I'd feel bad about it but I'd live happily without. What bothers me is that I couldn't imagine being in her place and deciding that I simply don't want to. There's nothing reasonable (ie, legal) that I wouldn't do if it could make her so happy.
There is no abusive. I have never touched him or threatened to take his children away. If our argument is about him not picking up the house or helping me clean he starts recording.
What is yt?
Also did he say the “….like other black people” part or are you adding that?
Also he sounds more prejudice than racist.
He's ridiculous. Not sure what you want advice on. If he prefers lighter eyes that is his preference. It doesn't mean he doesn't want to be with you.
Your partner is the one preying on younger people. You were 19!! when you started dating. Talk about projecting. Dump him before he starts gaslighting you for god knows what else.
I want a partner I can build a life with. Someone who can hold their own like I can and together we can be a great team.
Life is going to have its ups and downs. There are going to be times when disasters pile up and drain your resources. There will be times of weakness. Times when you get knocked off your feet and need a helping hand to get back up.
If you dunk on your partner when they hit one of these moments, that’s not teamwork.
I've already got my own place and lease…
So, before you were treating him like a child, doing things for him that he should be doing for himself. He liked it that way. And who wouldn't? Now, you are making him behave like. An adult and he isn't ready to, and probably never will be.
It needs to be made clear to him that this is the way things are now. He can step up or step out.
It’s more than red flags – it’s a flashing emergency exit sign
He seems to be a flake which isn't a good trait in an SO.
Be a big girl. If you want something with someone, be direct instead of beating around the bush. You're both wasting each other's time at this point.
Girl don’t divorce him and when he dies keep the money, it’s what you deserve.
Can confirm. Bigger doesn’t mean better, whether it be they don’t know how to use it, or it’s literally too big and hurts. I’ve slept w small peens who were good and bad, and big peens that were mostly bad lol
You handle it by walking. 4 years isn't a major age gap normally but when it's straddling 20….especially in his favour, it implies he's looking for a doormat. He wants to see how much of your dignity you're willing to give up for a compliment from him and he's going to keep making “jokes” every time. Leave before he does any more damage to your self esteem. And then PLEASE take the time you need to get right with yourself before trying again. Otherwise you're going to pull another predator like this.
Any experience in hiring one?
I am here to tell you what you should do with your life.
Leave her.
You have identified a pattern of behavior that is not going to change for the better. Most likely, it will get far worse over time.
I would move on. He’s not loyal or interested in the kind of relationship you’re interested in.
When you have kids, they can consume your life, especially when they're little.
Understand that a large percentage of your sister's time and attention is devoted to her kids right now, so having a relationship with her is probably going to involve talking about the kids some. However, every parent also needs a life outside of their kids, even if it's a TV show they watch a few times a week.
Let her talk about the kids for a little while, but also ask her questions about herself. Try to develop/nurture common interests you can discuss together. And know that this will probably get better over time.
“My husband treats me like a fleshlight, doesn’t respect my boundaries, is pervy about my friends, and lowers my self esteem, is it ok to leave him?” Yes girl please leave. I’ve put up with some shit from guys but this is a whole different level of disrespect
Promote him to ex
Honey. I mean this in the nicest way possible but you are naive and stupid. You cannot possibly know someone fully after 2 days or even a week. You seem to have really poor judgement because you absolutely shouldn’t move in with someone you don’t even know that well. And as far as your kid, it’s really dangerous to introduce him to an older man that you barely even know no matter how “good of a father” you may think he is. In any relationship it’s best to wait at least a few months before introducing children so that in case the relationship doesn’t work out (like in this case) the child won’t get attached and feel abandoned. You need to take a long hard look at your choices and really reflect on how badly you fucked up. Why did you think any of this would be a good idea? He could have been a rapist or a murderer for all you know. Make better decisions and look out for your child. He can have a father figure once you’re in a true established relationship after dating at least 6+ months.
If these are US based laws, these are state by state so, OP should read up on local residency laws, state/city/province etc.
Its crazy man! The OP is literally always downvoted to hell in the comments, half the time for no reason.
It's an absurd situation, it doesn't deserve an answer. If you just murdered your partner's whole family, and they ask why you did that, what would you say?
It is also just as likely that the therapist was parroting back the feelings she heard from this girl as she understood them and asking if her assessment was correct — and equally likely that the wife heard what she feared was the case. Being given directives (“tell him _____”) is unfortunately extremely common, even when they'd totally upend someone's life, but I kinda question this one for a few reasons. Namely because the wife shows extremely manipulative tendencies based on this post alone
Her comment isn't helpful whatsoever, & not even on topic, so don't mind her.
I do think he's a verbally & emotionally abusive father who seems to value money over this own troubled, & won't even encourage her but insults her efforts.
Be there for her, you can do this!
When I was pregnant with my second, we told my MIL and she looked me up and down and said, “I know. I can see.” (I wasn't showing yet!) I don't believe FIL ever acknowledged my pregnancy, but he would take my husband aside and tell him how I was going to cheat on him when we bother reached certain ages… yes, after having been married for ten years, and already having a child – not sure what FIL thought my husband was supposed to do about it… lock me in a room? Divorce me? Who knows. We went no contact shortly after that, for many reasons. Most peaceful time of my marriage.
It’s ok to have boundaries and go no-contact with your parents. Pregnancy is stressful enough, don’t let them make it worse.
You aren’t losing anything by cutting off toxic parents
Sucks for him ig lmao
Fucking exactly this. Is she suffering from any sort of mental illness you are not aware of, OP?
If she doesn't stop this ASAP and commit to therapy, I'd say pack your bags. This is not how you want to live life.
wow some men are foul … don’t stand for that shit .. what a weak piece of sht
Is he comparing you to his tightly gripped hand?
Also weight does not, as far as I know, change the size of your vagina.
Terrible idea. You'd be better off just cutting contact with her and moving on instead of drawing things out to get revenge for a perceived slight. Why did you even start talking to her again if you obviously haven't gotten over the breakup.
That’s exactly why I asked him, but that’s the result … thank you for your understanding and for taking the time to reply 🙂 really appreciate 🙂
Clearly all made up. Doesn’t make any sense to have a personal assistant in your early 20s – especially one that is likely the same age as you and is related to your friend. Just screams (poorly thought out) fiction.
I would like to. I have tried though — he just gives short answers 75% of the time.
No, I’m not with Pete.
Yeah, it honestly doesn't matter if you can't prove he's cheating. He's gaslighting you and making you the crazy one when you know they were there. That's a huge red flag and can you ever truly trust him?
What do you mean you agreed your feelings were not romantic or sexual?
I asked what was going on in her head…She said she was caught up in the moment. But recognized it was wrong.
And the fact that you feel unable to tell your own wife what happened says a lot…
It does. Normally, this would be something we talk about. I have shut down post coming out. That is on me.
I second this.
I've never asked any of my partners how many people they've slept with. It's irrelevant.
I've found out how many people from a couple of them because they mentioned it, and I didnt care. I cared that they were with me.
Anyone who thinks differently is either worryingly insecure, or manipulative. (Or both)
ITOYA makes a really good poster holder (they come in different sizes). My husband has a poster addiction, and we've run out of wall space. Now we have these books that hold a great deal of posters so we can swap them out. I think he might want to display them as large coffee table books.
red flag? dude this is fucking insane. she is physically abusing you. just because she’s a girl doesn’t make it any less bad. leave her before she takes it further.
This just sounds like youre dating an asshole, sorry.
It sounds like you did what was right for you. I'm glad you didn't leave it up to the people of Reddit to decide. Best of luck to you both.
I don't think so, as long as you are upfront and let her know you want to be taken seriously. Just text her in a way that let's her know this is important to you. So maybe a little differently than how you might have texted her before. Be direct.