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  1. Please don't move in with him. Get yourself a roommate to cover costs if necessary, and when he has his shit together he can move in with you. I'm sympathetic to his situation but I don't see it getting better if he moves in with you.

    When did you realise he wasn't saving and was in debt? Has he been keeping this from you?

  2. What is your nationality? Where are you living? What nationality of foreigners are you dating? Are you the one rejecting them or are they rejecting you, and what are the reasons given?

  3. u/ProblemSG7, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.

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  4. i went to a family thanksgiving after 2 dates. OP doesn’t state ages but if they’re college aged things like that happen all the time.

  5. Hello /u/Altruistic_Ad_3771,

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  6. Of course it does. When someone is being given advice and instead of everyone dissecting their behavior, they look at the other party who was on the receiving end of the physical abuse, there is no growth. What sense does it make to give dumb advice? You have to point out the hypocrisy in order for people to grow and learn from their actions. If a man came home to his nagging wife, does that give him free reign to hit her like OP did her boyfriend? Would you all still be championing him if the genders were changed? Didn't think so. It's really simple, do onto others as you would have them do to you. You can't be a component of equality and change if you just want it for one side.

  7. Hello /u/throwwawayy1122134,

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  10. We had discussed the possibility of getting back together, yes. That was a possibility. I just don't know what to even make of the whole situation.

  11. You can certainly bring it up and discuss it, but again, what logical reason would he have to disclose that to you? He didn’t need to. If he was being shitty, he logically wouldn’t have brought it up. There’s absolutely no benefit to him for doing so.

    This really seems like a situation where something odd happened and he wanted to tell his partner about the odd occurrence. I’m trying as hard as I can to find some sort of reverse psychology situation here but it’s just not a thing.

    I fully understand your hesitation given his past. To be honest, if you came here then, I’d have fully advised you to run. But you stayed. When you decide to stay, you stay having to allow yourself to trust your partner again (if they show they deserve it). I feel like in this situation you’re projecting the past onto it and assuming the worst. He had nothing to gain by telling you what he told you. To me, that’s the statement of someone who’s just trying to be transparent.

  12. Recording and playing it back to them might give them a clue.

    It’s too bad that kids don’t come with a parenting manual when they’re born

  13. No one that loved you could ever do those things to you. 100%, absolute fact, he does not love you.

    Would you ever do that to someone you loved? Is there anyone you hate enough that you would do that to?

    He's going to kill you. He does not and never did love you. He's not a good person who snaps sometimes. He is always a violent, dangerous person.

  14. It's probably only a matter of time until he does the same thing to Ellie, tbh. You ever heard of the saying about when a mistresses gets promoted to wife, there's a new vacancy? He has a lot more experiences and memories with your sister, I'm not sure why Ellie thinks she'll get more loyalty from him.

    Cheating is caused by the cheater. A loyal person could turn down hundreds of attempts, no problem. Ellie is extremely naive if she thinks that she will magically be the one to change him. In a way, he disrespected her too, but she may be too dense to realize it. Proud people want to announce their partner to the world, as they're proud to be with them. Hiding someone in the shadows is the polar opposite of that.

    Your sister can do WAY better in terms of a partner, and you can do WAY better in terms of your friends. Feel free to happily ignore Ellie if she ever tries to whine to you about him cheating.

  15. What you do is you get tested for STDs. Personally, I would dump him just on principle – the sex industry is really exploitative and he’s cheating on you.

  16. Just block her. She just stay in contact with you to hurt you. She was an awful person in the relationship and now is even more awful. You deserve better.

  17. What does your partner think? Does he want to be included? If yes, then you go to bat for him and say there’ll be two of you or nothing. If he doesn’t want to be included, then keep the status quo.

  18. If you have to go to couples counseling to resolve a problem before you are committed, then you don’t have a relationship. You have one or both people being dependent on the other

  19. You need to have a talk. If she is getting sick every single weekend for years and years, she’s going to come across some serious health problems soon. You should talk to her about your concerns. It’s not healthy for her to continue doing this. I’m 25 and guilty of partying too hard sometimes and my boyfriend ran into a similar issue (I wouldn’t want to leave the bar until it closed). What worked for us was having a discussion before we went out about what time we were going to leave. This helped a lot. Your girlfriend might need some medical or professional help though since it sounds a little extreme and its been going on for a while. Just have a genuine discussion and tell her you love her but are concerned about her health and want to come to a solution.

  20. talk to him! we all have different expectations and needs. let him know youd feel cared for if he reaches out a bit more/with questions or engagement, and see if you can find something in the middle that doesn't feel artifical to him and does feel rewarding to you. a conversation will be so much more helpful than asking us.

    also, personally, I expect no texts during the day. those are work hours. but are you talking about in the evenings after work? maybe see how he feels about chatting on the phone once a week between seeing each other? some people don't engage well over any sort of social media, and that's useful to keep in mind.

    it seems very likely he does care about you, and you just need a little bit more contact with him to feel that. best of luck!

  21. This seems easy. Invite Bob as groomsman, don’t let him bring Sarah.

    If he brings Sarah anyways, kick her out immediately upon entry.

    Let Bob choose between being your groomsman and keeping Sarah happy. That’s not the choice you should have to make, it’s his.

  22. You sound like the kind of idiot that would make the same mistake twice. Move on and let her do the same.

  23. Do not have a child w this person. They are obviously selfish and would make a horrible parent. You need to rip the band aid off, friend. File for di once and move on. You're 36 plenty of te to meet someone e that appreciates you. Dead bedroom almost never gets better. Having a child w her ties you to her forever Run and consider yourself lucky she showed herself before you were in to deep.

  24. Health nuts don't “cut out soft drinks” … they never had them in the first place.

    It's possible he means she's becoming one, in an effort to lose weight (and good for her if she is) but yeah, no health nut drinks soda, lol. It's basically pure sugar in a can.

  25. You spent twice as much time making that jab as you did arguing your point. Brevity is the soul of wit, love.

  26. Holy shit that is accurate. Nightstand covered in mostly drank cans and dirty dishes. We alternatively call it her “nest” or her “doom corner”

  27. And he can use this as a way to start fights and storm out aka go to his gfs house and not answer the phone because he’s mad at you and “just went to a buddy’s to cool off “

  28. Well first off, there’s nothing wrong with not hooking up on a first date. Don’t feel pressured to do anything with his dick if you feel too uncomfortable. There’s nothing wrong with taking it slow and just making out or getting handsy. If the dude puts too much pressure on you there’s nothing wrong w walking away. But, if you like the guy and want to go there, just let it flow naturally. He’ll let you know what he likes. He may take your hand and put it on his dick, that generally means you’ve got the go ahead to give him a handy. Doesn’t mean you have to give him a handy til he gets off either, that’s the beauty of foreplay. You can get him good and hard that way then proceed to the next step if you’re feeling it. I dated a guy once that took forever to cum, a lot of it was just nerves, and like my arm would get exhausted if I had to jerk him off long enough to get him off😂 so it was usually a warm up step, then we’d proceed to the sex, or the oral, however it happened.

    If this is your first time ever real-life seeing a dick, I mean congrats cuz I didn’t know that was even possible, but just take it slow and don’t feel obligated. Bring condoms, let him take the lead and let it progress naturally. That’s the best you can do. If you end up with a mouthful of dick and it’s more than you bargained for but you still want to have sex, then do that. If you’re about to have sex and change your mind or if it hurts (it will hurt your first time) then stop and maybe try a bj. On your first time there’s no real right or wrong way or order as long as you both feel pretty comfortable.

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