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  1. Oh, the answer to this is easy, but will take some effort on your part.

    Before any of this you have to get your wife to agree to it. But read on for the plan.

    You have your wife invite her friend over for lunch (or whatever) while you’re at home. You both let her know that you know, and that you haven’t told him but you want to help. Work with her to come up with whatever plan you can to influence your friend to fix his fuckups. She’s clearly already tried a lot and has sort of given up hope, so she may need convincing that it’s possible with your help.

    If she outright refuses or can’t be convinced then she is already (mentally) out of the door on that marriage and you absolutely need to spill the beans to your friend.

    If she agrees to the help, then you get her to promise that she will cut off contact with her ex and no more cheating and focus on the marriage until it’s dead in the water. And if it gets to that point, that she calls it off with him before speaking to any other men.

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