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Maya, 21 y.o.
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Date: October 30, 2022
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he broke it off
Just tell her
Trust your gut. Your husband was hitting on her and she rejected him. If it was a joke then he would tell you what the joke was and run it by you to confirm if it was offensive. Run into the woman and strike up a casual conversation and bring up the message. Let her tell her what really happened. Quietly keep it to yourself. Then plan accordingly to protect yourself financially and legally. Your husband is on the prowl for a younger model.
If she's very insistent on babies and marriage soon, then O.P needs to leave her so she can find someone that could fulfill that need for her. Seems like O.P and gf are in different parts of their lives right now. She has baby fever and wants to get married pronto and O.P wants to become established first before tackling any huge responsibility. It's not uncommon to be young and want to get married and have kids soon, but it's not uncommon to want to be established first. Both need to part ways before something happens. And I can say without a doubt that if O.P knocks up his gf, he's not gonna be too happy about the responsibility being put on him before he's ready.
You might not be his Father but for him you were his Dad. You break heart of that 5 year old kid.
Unfortunately for your family you have ruined everything, I strongly feel more problems for this kid once you have your own kid.