Me(37F) and my husband (57M) had a fight and he told me that I need to be malleable and work around him, and also said if I battle him, I’ll lose.

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My husband and I had been struggling in our marriage (married for almost 3 year) due to several things, but mostly because he is getting more religious than before and because he has hidden big purchases (he calls them investments) without even mentioning anything to me, when I confronted him weeks ago, he said that was his money and he doesn't have to tell me when he spends his money. I pay our mortgage, and housing bills, he pays for his warehouse rent, where he works all day long (comes home around 10.30pm), he makes at least 3 or 4 times more than me, I don't know the exact number cause he keeps me in the dark. I suggested therapy, he said we'll do it, but also said therapy was going to make things even worse between us, and that if I really want to fix this, I need to be malleable and work around him. He also told me that if we separate, I'll be lost and there wont be any chance to getting back together, and that if I battle him, I'll lose. How to navigate this? I don't even want to go to therapy anymore, not sure that will help my marriage…

BTW: he bought 4 classic cars that he intends to keep as investments, making a total of 7 cars that he owns now, and he refuses to buy a house. We online in a 500sq condo, I've asked him to get a house, even if it is small, but he says houses are a liability at the current market.., and that we wont do it until a crash comes and makes the houses prices go down… I've told him that according to many statistics and research, I've found out the housing market is only going to higher prices.. he still thinks a house is not a good purchase now. I am bit tired of living a condo when I know we together have the income to get a normal house… it is getting very frustrating…

submitted by /u/Academic-Act6296
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Date: April 9, 2024

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