37 thoughts on “Milli-Carter live! sex chats for YOU!”
Yeah i think I should move on if nothing changes, but I am not sure if I have the balls to do so. The thought is very scary. The fact that she might get another boyfriend, not talking to her every day etc.
You should block your ex and listen to your husband. Exes that text out of the blue are looking for some type of emotional or financial support. He could also be reaching out to be nosey on the under. You are the one who got away and his other relationships/situationships did not workout. Enjoy your beautiful marriage to your husband. I hope this helps.?
Your bf is disgusting for weaponized tour abortion. Your abortion is your private medical history- don’t feel the need to share it with anyone going forward – the only medical info you owe people is STI
Except to the wife, it sounds like her husband has never stood up for her against his family. He chose them instead of her by visiting them right after they got married even after how his new bride was treated.
If he's not going to stand up for her on their wedding day then he's just not going to stand up for her.
The mass-media narrative surrounding romance is skewed in a number of ways. For instance, they will always claim that the chase is important. This is partially because they also claim that effort is the only measure of success in a romantic relationship: if you try nude enough, you will get the person of your dreams. They don't have to agree to date you or flirt with you or even like you: they aren't actually a person, after all, merely a prop for your story. If you like them naked enough, they will become yours.
None of this is accurate, but that doesn't particularly matter in a mass-media setting because the story still needs to be entertaining. Compare what happens in a successful relationship: boy meets girl, boys attracted to girl, girl is also attracted to boy, they get in a relationship, there's no drama, they on-line happily ever after. This is a wonderful anecdote but a terrible narrative. And if the story isn't exciting for an audience, it's a bad story. So stories will lie, stories will exaggerate, stories will invent entirely new things in order to be entertaining. Which is great! It's great for stories to be entertaining! Just don't trust them.
So, to answer your questions:
How do I draw the line between courtship & being in relationship when we obv like each other?
In a healthy relationship, you don't… And that's the good part. When my wife and I first met and started dating, we fell in love quickly, and fundamentally there isn't all that much difference between our relationship today and the relationship we had 9 years ago when we first started dating. I mean, sure, we have sex less frequently, and there are more legal elements in place because we officially got married, and we have two kids who distract the hell out of us at all times because that's what kids do; but those are merely the details of execution. Before we had our first date, before we had even met in person, I had already noticed that there was a real possibility of our story ending in a Happily Ever After, or at least more realistic than there had ever been for anyone else I had dated. That's how clear our potential was, that's how obvious it was. And once we found that in each other, we went for it. So when we went official, it changed nothing. When we moved in together, it changed nothing. When we got married, it changed nothing. Those were just our outside circumstances catching up to the inner reality of what we felt for each other.
How do I keep the chase? ?
You don't. You don't want a chase.
I mean, think of it the other way around. Imagine if he was distant. Imagine if he was really busy. Imagine if you constantly had to work your ass off just to have a presence in his life. Imagine if you could never really have a happy relationship because you were too busy trying to make the relationship exist in the first place and had no energy left over to make it happy. That's “the chase.” And I think I've done a really good job of explaining why you do not actually want it. You're not looking for someone you have to catch: you're looking for someone who wants to be caught.
And, to be clear, so is he. So if you don't want to be caught, then you need to have a very serious conversation with yourself about whether you're actually ready to be in a serious relationship.
Now, there is a difference between what I'm describing and the general maintenance of a relationship. If you want him to get you flowers, that's something you can ask for. If you still want dates to be special occasions, if you don't want to spend every night having Netflix and chill, if you still want there to be some ritual and celebration in your relationship, that's fine. You can ask for that, and if he loves you, then he'll do it because he knows that it makes you happy, and there's literally nothing else that's more important to him in all the world. But that's not “the chase” either. That's a healthy relationship, where you have caught the other person but you still pursue them anyway because you want them to feel happy. “The chase” is inherently unhappy and inherently dysfunctional. “The chase” is a mass-media romance in real life… And it helps you understand just how broken and wrong those depictions are.
I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this, two weeks of being an arsehole vs 8 months of being honestly my best friend. I might give him another week and see if I can find out what’s really up.
I'm afraid to leave I moved abroad to be with him and in the process of being a resident in his country and gave up on my rights in my homeland.. I'm at my mom's now and I miss him and can't possibly imagine my life without him while knowing going back will hurt me and the next time it happens will break me for good.
And then she will divorce you, get half of your money (maybe more) and what will you be left with? It’s nude to believe you can’t see what’s happening here.
I've mentioned briefly what I did and she still thinks I'm hiding things and believes she'll only find the truth in my texts… She's not wrong. Do I still let her check my phone?
Hon, you can downvote all you want, it’s not going to change anything. I respect you want to help this girl but no good will come of it.
William s Burroughs wasn’t a perfect man by any means but his quotes on-line on for a reason. “Here are a few admonitions for young and old… never interfere in a boy and girl fight…”
From your description he comes across as a bit unreliable and calculative. Hardly a romantically mature person. Good on you for standing by your principles and what makes you feel alright, keep on doing that!
I think you’re only threatening to divorce him because his daughter is upset about you trying to hog her 18th birthday party and you might not get your way. You’re an entitled brat and while I think that you and your gross ass husband deserve each other, these kids don’t. Get the divorce before you and the Dorm Creeper add more children to this dumpster fire you call a marriage.
This really is the only one I’ve witnessed. Other than that he opens car doors, carrys me when it’s raining so my shoes don’t get wet, is attentive and responsive, etc… That’s why I was so caught off guard with this one and wondering if I maybe I’m just overthinking or overreacting
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I would consider her both a friend and my sister, but perhaps it's one sided? We talk often and hang out. Also go out of my way for her when she needs me.
Growing up I always let her hang out with me if I had friends over (even though teenage me didn't always want that). I also always took her out with me so that she wouldn't be home alone all the time. That caused us to really bond as we got older. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and if always at any of my birthday celebrations. My friends know her and get along with her as well.
One the other hand, my sister never invites me to spend time with her and her friends. Not a big deal, just want to point out the differences. She did not include me in my wedding party, which was painful but I understand that it's her wedding to do what she wants. I never complained and was happy. A friend of hers, who's my age, was in her bridal party and introduced herself as her sister during the speech. I couldn't help but feel like I was being replaced. It's was hard to hear that but I have a friend who I would consider a sister, so it get it, but it still stings…
I totally understand and acknowledge that she's her own person and might not always want me around but it doesn't help the hurt I feel when it happens. It was just so odd, like why was my brother-in-law so sneaky about it? Why ask me to plan the party and then come up with a lame excuse. Ugh
You're right though, I should just bring it up but perhaps on a different day since we're celebrating her birthday tomorrow.
Sorry for rambling I'm just trying to process my emotions, perhaps I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. Thanks again.
No offense i don't mean to sound condescending but yeah.. don't have a fiancé at 18… you guys are literally still teenagers learning what u want from life and getting to know who you really are. You just learned she isn't faithful and she just learned she isn't ready for marriage because like any young person she is gonna doubt getting married that young and being with 1 guy as his WIFE when she's barely lived her life.
Marriage is a big fucking commitment and alot of stress and hardwork. Coming from a married woman.
i was 25 when we got engaged and we got married when i was 26. And we both had our lives sorted out, work, car,living situation, studies. Now we are having a kid and I'm 29!
OP there is absolutely no goddamn reason to rush into marriage unless you are just doing it for the military benefits or because your families think it's what's best/ you just love each other!
And that's not exactly a great longtem thing that will sustain a healthy marriage. Communication,respect and especially loyalty are important.
She's already cheating and she's honestly a kid that made a mistake bt should u marry her? NO!
Yall both have alot of growing up to do. And literally just living in general. Why are u rushing to marriage when you are so young.
This shit isn't easy! Be a young person! If you guys go through with this or attempt to fix and and get married she's definitely gonna wake up in a few years wondering where the hell her life went.
Stop letting yourself get emotionally blackmailed. You're with a pillow princess. The relationship is a year old. This is as good as it'll get, tail end of the honeymoon phase.
The cynic in me wonders if she's not getting any on the side from a guy she actually IS sexually interested in, but you're the most stable candidate financially and mentally around.
Yeah i think I should move on if nothing changes, but I am not sure if I have the balls to do so. The thought is very scary. The fact that she might get another boyfriend, not talking to her every day etc.
A month from now, after performing oral on your wife, tell her that her boyfriend needs to eat more pineapple.See how she reacts.
I think you are hanging around with the wrong kind of women, sorry mate
You should block your ex and listen to your husband. Exes that text out of the blue are looking for some type of emotional or financial support. He could also be reaching out to be nosey on the under. You are the one who got away and his other relationships/situationships did not workout. Enjoy your beautiful marriage to your husband. I hope this helps.?
Also prosthetic tubes. Mmhmm. Sure.
Your bf is disgusting for weaponized tour abortion. Your abortion is your private medical history- don’t feel the need to share it with anyone going forward – the only medical info you owe people is STI
Except to the wife, it sounds like her husband has never stood up for her against his family. He chose them instead of her by visiting them right after they got married even after how his new bride was treated.
If he's not going to stand up for her on their wedding day then he's just not going to stand up for her.
All solid and reasonable explanations. Bravo. ???
Well, of course, your boundaries are “dumb”. It doesn't let him openly lust after other women.
Would he be okay with men painting their bodies and dicks and serving alcohol to you?
He didn’t just betray his wife. He betrayed his family. That includes OP.
How do I keep the chase? ?
LOL.
The mass-media narrative surrounding romance is skewed in a number of ways. For instance, they will always claim that the chase is important. This is partially because they also claim that effort is the only measure of success in a romantic relationship: if you try nude enough, you will get the person of your dreams. They don't have to agree to date you or flirt with you or even like you: they aren't actually a person, after all, merely a prop for your story. If you like them naked enough, they will become yours.
None of this is accurate, but that doesn't particularly matter in a mass-media setting because the story still needs to be entertaining. Compare what happens in a successful relationship: boy meets girl, boys attracted to girl, girl is also attracted to boy, they get in a relationship, there's no drama, they on-line happily ever after. This is a wonderful anecdote but a terrible narrative. And if the story isn't exciting for an audience, it's a bad story. So stories will lie, stories will exaggerate, stories will invent entirely new things in order to be entertaining. Which is great! It's great for stories to be entertaining! Just don't trust them.
So, to answer your questions:
How do I draw the line between courtship & being in relationship when we obv like each other?
In a healthy relationship, you don't… And that's the good part. When my wife and I first met and started dating, we fell in love quickly, and fundamentally there isn't all that much difference between our relationship today and the relationship we had 9 years ago when we first started dating. I mean, sure, we have sex less frequently, and there are more legal elements in place because we officially got married, and we have two kids who distract the hell out of us at all times because that's what kids do; but those are merely the details of execution. Before we had our first date, before we had even met in person, I had already noticed that there was a real possibility of our story ending in a Happily Ever After, or at least more realistic than there had ever been for anyone else I had dated. That's how clear our potential was, that's how obvious it was. And once we found that in each other, we went for it. So when we went official, it changed nothing. When we moved in together, it changed nothing. When we got married, it changed nothing. Those were just our outside circumstances catching up to the inner reality of what we felt for each other.
How do I keep the chase? ?
You don't. You don't want a chase.
I mean, think of it the other way around. Imagine if he was distant. Imagine if he was really busy. Imagine if you constantly had to work your ass off just to have a presence in his life. Imagine if you could never really have a happy relationship because you were too busy trying to make the relationship exist in the first place and had no energy left over to make it happy. That's “the chase.” And I think I've done a really good job of explaining why you do not actually want it. You're not looking for someone you have to catch: you're looking for someone who wants to be caught.
And, to be clear, so is he. So if you don't want to be caught, then you need to have a very serious conversation with yourself about whether you're actually ready to be in a serious relationship.
Now, there is a difference between what I'm describing and the general maintenance of a relationship. If you want him to get you flowers, that's something you can ask for. If you still want dates to be special occasions, if you don't want to spend every night having Netflix and chill, if you still want there to be some ritual and celebration in your relationship, that's fine. You can ask for that, and if he loves you, then he'll do it because he knows that it makes you happy, and there's literally nothing else that's more important to him in all the world. But that's not “the chase” either. That's a healthy relationship, where you have caught the other person but you still pursue them anyway because you want them to feel happy. “The chase” is inherently unhappy and inherently dysfunctional. “The chase” is a mass-media romance in real life… And it helps you understand just how broken and wrong those depictions are.
Well, caring a lot is a really good trait to have, but when and how you care, it makes all the difference.
Explicitly tell him. If you can’t tell him to bring condoms point blank you’re too immature to have sex.
I’m having trouble wrapping my head around this, two weeks of being an arsehole vs 8 months of being honestly my best friend. I might give him another week and see if I can find out what’s really up.
I'm afraid to leave I moved abroad to be with him and in the process of being a resident in his country and gave up on my rights in my homeland.. I'm at my mom's now and I miss him and can't possibly imagine my life without him while knowing going back will hurt me and the next time it happens will break me for good.
She was cheating for a while, and the guilt suddenly got to her. The open relationship was to ease her guilt .
She was cheating for a while, and the guilt suddenly got to her. The open relationship was to ease her guilt .
Whelp, I think you know how this might end, OP. Do you really want to take the chance?!
And then she will divorce you, get half of your money (maybe more) and what will you be left with? It’s nude to believe you can’t see what’s happening here.
I've mentioned briefly what I did and she still thinks I'm hiding things and believes she'll only find the truth in my texts… She's not wrong. Do I still let her check my phone?
Okay then end it and get into therapy. Focus on yourself and don't date until you've worked though this. Doesn't matter if it takes a long time.
She treats yoy, like you exist for her sake. She needs her feelings validated, and is frustrated you dare to have some feelings and needs of your own.
This is not someone you want to be with.
Hon, you can downvote all you want, it’s not going to change anything. I respect you want to help this girl but no good will come of it.
William s Burroughs wasn’t a perfect man by any means but his quotes on-line on for a reason. “Here are a few admonitions for young and old… never interfere in a boy and girl fight…”
From your description he comes across as a bit unreliable and calculative. Hardly a romantically mature person. Good on you for standing by your principles and what makes you feel alright, keep on doing that!
As for the guy? Naahhh, don’t think so.
he deleted his whole account…
Is she suffering empty nest syndrome? It’s real.
Honey, why are you accepting this as what you deserve? Being alone would be so much better.
Please love yourself enough to break up, you never deserved any of this. I'm so sorry.
A good therapist can help you through this. You deserve to feel loved and supported by your partner at all times, even when you say no.
I think you’re only threatening to divorce him because his daughter is upset about you trying to hog her 18th birthday party and you might not get your way. You’re an entitled brat and while I think that you and your gross ass husband deserve each other, these kids don’t. Get the divorce before you and the Dorm Creeper add more children to this dumpster fire you call a marriage.
This really is the only one I’ve witnessed. Other than that he opens car doors, carrys me when it’s raining so my shoes don’t get wet, is attentive and responsive, etc… That’s why I was so caught off guard with this one and wondering if I maybe I’m just overthinking or overreacting
I actually don’t understand your problem here.
I thought it was going to be something personal or sexual he’d told them.
Why are you obsessed with your ring? Does it look like a diamond?
Who is going to care?
Sounds like a weird thing to get hung up about to me.
Thanks for the thoughtful response. I would consider her both a friend and my sister, but perhaps it's one sided? We talk often and hang out. Also go out of my way for her when she needs me.
Growing up I always let her hang out with me if I had friends over (even though teenage me didn't always want that). I also always took her out with me so that she wouldn't be home alone all the time. That caused us to really bond as we got older. She was a bridesmaid at my wedding and if always at any of my birthday celebrations. My friends know her and get along with her as well.
One the other hand, my sister never invites me to spend time with her and her friends. Not a big deal, just want to point out the differences. She did not include me in my wedding party, which was painful but I understand that it's her wedding to do what she wants. I never complained and was happy. A friend of hers, who's my age, was in her bridal party and introduced herself as her sister during the speech. I couldn't help but feel like I was being replaced. It's was hard to hear that but I have a friend who I would consider a sister, so it get it, but it still stings…
I totally understand and acknowledge that she's her own person and might not always want me around but it doesn't help the hurt I feel when it happens. It was just so odd, like why was my brother-in-law so sneaky about it? Why ask me to plan the party and then come up with a lame excuse. Ugh
You're right though, I should just bring it up but perhaps on a different day since we're celebrating her birthday tomorrow.
Sorry for rambling I'm just trying to process my emotions, perhaps I'm making this a bigger deal than it is. Thanks again.
If she's lucky it'll just be her career.
No offense i don't mean to sound condescending but yeah.. don't have a fiancé at 18… you guys are literally still teenagers learning what u want from life and getting to know who you really are. You just learned she isn't faithful and she just learned she isn't ready for marriage because like any young person she is gonna doubt getting married that young and being with 1 guy as his WIFE when she's barely lived her life.
Marriage is a big fucking commitment and alot of stress and hardwork. Coming from a married woman.
i was 25 when we got engaged and we got married when i was 26. And we both had our lives sorted out, work, car,living situation, studies. Now we are having a kid and I'm 29!
OP there is absolutely no goddamn reason to rush into marriage unless you are just doing it for the military benefits or because your families think it's what's best/ you just love each other!
And that's not exactly a great longtem thing that will sustain a healthy marriage. Communication,respect and especially loyalty are important.
She's already cheating and she's honestly a kid that made a mistake bt should u marry her? NO!
Yall both have alot of growing up to do. And literally just living in general. Why are u rushing to marriage when you are so young.
This shit isn't easy! Be a young person! If you guys go through with this or attempt to fix and and get married she's definitely gonna wake up in a few years wondering where the hell her life went.
I think she shouldn't have read the diary. Sneaking through your phone is more acceptable lol
If this happens this early on you should just leave him.
God doesn't help those that don't help themselves. It's an old saying, one you need to understand.
Stop letting yourself get emotionally blackmailed. You're with a pillow princess. The relationship is a year old. This is as good as it'll get, tail end of the honeymoon phase.
The cynic in me wonders if she's not getting any on the side from a guy she actually IS sexually interested in, but you're the most stable candidate financially and mentally around.