On one hand, you’ve only been dating a short amount of time. On the other hand, you’ve been sent a clear signal that this is a messy situation.
If it was me I would remove myself from this situation and simply advise her that you don’t want to be an unclear choice for her. She’s welcome to take some time to sort it out (max 2 weeks or so) and come back to you with clarity but otherwise you need to be in a non ambivalent romantic situation for your own emotional and mental health.
I’m generally very accepting of criticism but did you even read my post? Where did I justify anything? I was simply stating that I believe it when my wife said she thought this girl was 20, because I did too. That’s not justification, at all. It doesn’t change that my wife who is in her 30s has the capability of having an attraction to someone she believes is 20, and entertain the ideas with actions. It’s still disturbing, and unethical, even if she was 20.
Engage your husband and try and help him discover his sexuality and maybe find out that his nuanced sexuality actually works within your marriage…
Or just bail and validate the reasons why he's in the closet in the first place
Your choice
On one hand, you’ve only been dating a short amount of time. On the other hand, you’ve been sent a clear signal that this is a messy situation.
If it was me I would remove myself from this situation and simply advise her that you don’t want to be an unclear choice for her. She’s welcome to take some time to sort it out (max 2 weeks or so) and come back to you with clarity but otherwise you need to be in a non ambivalent romantic situation for your own emotional and mental health.
I’m generally very accepting of criticism but did you even read my post? Where did I justify anything? I was simply stating that I believe it when my wife said she thought this girl was 20, because I did too. That’s not justification, at all. It doesn’t change that my wife who is in her 30s has the capability of having an attraction to someone she believes is 20, and entertain the ideas with actions. It’s still disturbing, and unethical, even if she was 20.