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Hello all, this has gotten rather long, I'm sorry…
I [30F] have been with my husband [30M] for over 10 years (high school sweethearts), married for four. We've been trying for a baby for years, no luck. Got tested and the problem is on my husband's side. Doctors told us IVF was our best (only) option. We just finished our 7th round of (unsuccesful) IVF. It's been mentally and financially draining, and also physically painful for me. Our relationship has never been stronger though. My husband is so supportive and makes me smile even on the worst days.
About a month ago, I told him that we should start thinking about alternatives (adoption, fostering). My husband was not thrilled but said he'd think about it. A few days later he told me he had one last idea: what if we used his brother's sperm instead?
So for context, my husband has an identical twin brother [30M]. They don't really look identical now (difference in weight/ hairstyle), but they looked absolutely the same back in high school. They have always been incredibly close. My husband had asked him to get tested and everything is fine with his sperm. I thought about it. The baby would have my husband's DNA and looks. So I told him last week I would be willing to do two more IVF cycles with his brother's sperm but if that didn't work we should seriously consider adoption. My husband got a little weird as soon as I mentioned IVF. Finally, he admitted he was thinking of a more "natural" approach.
I was absolutely shocked. So basically, my husband wants me to have sex with his brother whenever I'm ovulating until I'm pregnant. We had an endless argument about it, he said gems like "It's only sex", "It would happen only once – ideally", "It doesn't have to be passionate", "I'm just thinking of your pain (and our finances)"… What hurts most apart from that this feels like incest to me is that he would be totally fine with me having sex with another man. The thought of him with another woman makes me sick to my stomach, I wouldn't want that in a million years even if a baby magically came of it.
So that situation was last week. We didn't really talk for a few days, it was awkward and he tiptoed around me and didn't broach the subject again. Then two days ago, he came home very drunk after being out with work buddies. This is completely out of character (we both basically stopped drinking after a friend in HS died in a DUI). We got into a huge fight because of it that turned into a fight about the on-line action sperm donor idea. I don't want to go into the details, but at some point he said "It really doesn't matter, it happened before."
It took me about an hour to get the truth out of him: Apparently, at the very beginning of our "relationship" (we had an fwb thing going in senior year and got together at prom), he sometimes let his brother "have a night" with me. My husband was very popular/outgoing and the brother was a bit of a nerd/loner, and he "felt bad for him". This happened "maybe three times" in about 8 months. His brother just pretended to be him when I came over after a girls' night out (rather drunk). He also "shared" two of his ex girlfriends before me with his brother this way. I don't really remember this time too well, it's all a bit hazy, I was drunk a lot on weekends.
I left after that. I'm staying at my sister's. My husband has bombarded me with messages, saying he is sorry, how can he ever make it up to me, we weren't really serious back then, it's completely different now (is it though?). I feel so disgusted and sad. I love this man, up until a week ago I wanted nothing more but to have children with him.
I feel stupid even asking "has anyone been in a situation like this?" I know it sounds crazy, my world is falling apart. But has someone maybe found out about some horrible things in the early stages of a relationship a decade later? Does is matter now? Is there a chance for us to come back from this? I love my husband still. But I feel so betrayed, and I don't think I could ever be in a room with his brother again. I also don't know what to do about his ex girlfriends… Do they need to know? I'm actually still friendly-ish with one of them (smallish town, know her through work).
I would really appreciate some outside perspective. I can't bring myself to tell my sister, even though she obviously knows something is up. A couple years ago I posted here because of some family drama and the advice I got really helped so I thought I'd try again…
tl;dr: My husband and I can't get pregnant so he suggested to use his identical twin brother's sperm – but not as a sperm donor, rather "the natural way." In a drunk fight I found out that ten years ago (when we started on a fwb basis), he let his brother pretend to be him and have sex with me a couple of times. I don't know how to feel and what to do. Is there a chance for us still?
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Ohhh very good. Give him the receptionist attitude, outside smile and pleasantry but professionally distant, inside screaming and cursing and imagining painful punishments. You got this!
He wanted to sleep with her, now he got to and is trying to find a way to keep you both around. And he wanted to hurt you. Give him nothing.
Have you heard of the grey rock method? It’s usually about dealing with narcissists and making them lose interest but I bet some of it can also be applied to deal with an ex you have to live! with that intents to hurt you.
You’re not wrong. This is weird.
Thanks for taking the time to reply, I really appreciate it. The end game would be the same whether I did “great” or merely just “good” on the assignments. Hence he feels that I'm wasting my time trying for “great”, when I could settle for “good” and use that time to travel.
I don't know how odd it is but we've never combined finances. Our agreement is to split everything 50-50 (e.g. meals, utilities, airfares) except when if we make very large purchases (e.g. downpayment for a house).
We didn't argue the whole time about the decision to stay longer in our home country. In fact, we never talked about it for months until we had this argument. I'd long assumed it was water under the bridge. He saw it as a broken agreement, so an apology wasn't enough – I had to make amends. Part of which involves being enthusiastic about all travel. Saying that I'd do a hack job on my assignments upset him because it wasn't enthusiastic enough, and grudging amends are no amends at all. At least, that's what I think he feels.
You can do what you like but he’s allowed to leave if he deems it a big enough issue. You have to weigh up what you want more.
I would absolutely recommend staying away from dating until you heal. You need to find your own strength of voice and learn how to lay down boundaries with people. You have a child now and she will emulate the examples you show her; if you want a better life and future relationships for her, then you need to show it in action by setting these things by example yourself. Show your child how to live! with confidence in her own self and make her feel like she can command her own future in life.
I know it sucks that things didn't work out with the dad, but he was never a good guy to begin with. Focus on developing a civil relationship with him that is based on child visitation and keep contact between you and him formal and in email writing so that if he does ever abandon you both, then years down the line when your daughter is old enough to have conversations about these things you can show her the proof that you tried your best and things weren't your fault.
Don't ever trade visitations for sex, or mix sex in this relationship ever again. Also get yourself tested for STD's as you can't trust this guys dick and where its been.
Plus, OP says he’s number 6. The only way that could happen is if the ONS and the other guys she didn’t originally tell him about are not the same person.
If you tell someone over and over again about how you feel, and they don’t change and refuse to listen, it’s because they don’t care.
If it feels like she’s being controlling and doesn’t care about your feelings…well. Sometimes it’s that simple.
Do you think its up to you to decide it? You are pressuring them in breaking up otherwise they won’t see you anymore. Could be me but that’s quite selfish.
I mean it's up to you, if you don't feel like it, he shouldn't force you in any way, or make you feel bad for bailing, and you should communicate that to him (“There are times when I don't feel like doing this for you, don't make me feel bad for it if”) or something like that.
The other thing is make sure he's actually giving you as much as you are giving him. Does he go down on you as often? Does he give you pleasure as often? Even if you have a lower drive, there are surely things he could do outside of sex that could make you happy – is he doing those? As long as both of you are happy it's fine, but it doesn't seem like you are fully happy so fight for yourself and fix this situation.
If you can't divorce him for yourself, divorce him for your kids. They will see how he treats you, how it fucks with you, and think it's okay. They will think this is normal. Set an example for them, show them this behavior is not acceptable, that they do not treat people this way nor should they allow it to happen to them.
Don't forget to report these clearly tr0lling posts.
I’ll look if we have a store like this in Australia
you're right. check your messages for some practical advice.
It’s taking too long????? LOL.
I hope she dumps you and find a real man who loves and treat her like a queen.
I just want her to stop bothering me and leave my GF and I alone.
Tell your GF that she sexually assaulted you, and that you want her friend to move out.
I do think there is more to it. You put it well, trickle truth.. I have the feeling he only confessed a tiny bit, to relieve some of the guilt. It’s very hot to believe he blew up his whole life just because of a Hj. I can’t look at him the same after this
This is called rape. You were raped.
You know what is going on man. I'm sorry and best of luck.
8 months ago we started dating, 6 months in a relationship. It was more me not dealing with her bad days, so when she’d snap i’d take it personally and leave the room when I should’ve comforted her. But yeah pretty much correct. Her mum knows how to deal with her outbursts and it was there she found comfort after her little boy passed away (his ashes are there).
She didn’t think I was emotionally strong enough at the time but wants me to speak to someone about my issues whilst she works on hers. She gave me a timeframe of 6-12 months to see where we’re at.
Honestly looking back I hate myself. I wrote her a letter two days ago about wanting to be there for her and highlighting my past mistakes which got her to call me and speak through things. She seemed a lot more easy going than last Friday.
She said my actions don’t meet my words. How often should I reach out? I don’t want to seem overbearing but I don’t want to look like I’ve stopped caring again. I was thinking once a week, but unsure
Stop lying lol
No.
You were not in a relationship with her then, you are not in a relationship with her now.
IF you get into a relationship with her in the future, then IF you both decide to tell each other about what you did while not in a relationship, then you tell her as it would be lying if you didn’t.
Yea I definitely can’t even look at him. I’m so grossed out ?
This is a really good distinction that I’ve never put together before. Privacy is healthy; secrecy is an issue.
If you don’t stand up for yourself, people will absolutely treat you the way you allow yourself to be treated.
Notice how the moment you took control, she offered to come back to blow you.
I totally agree. I have sympathy for a kid in that situation but I want no part of it.
You and your friends are probably right. He has a midlife crisis and pits you down to lift himself up. It's so sad how often young girls fall for this… Leave the guy behind and find someone that lifts you up
Brother, this is game over. Now you get to show your kids the right way to respond to abuse from their partner: pack up & get yourself and the kids away from her as soon as possible. Keep records of everything and act as quickly as you can.
Everything about this is icky.
You have no control over him or her so you can't stop anything. She is only 20 years old and is in that stage of life where she is trying to figure out what she wants.
All of you working together, her living with you AND your father, it's all so gross.
No one slaps people in the face lovingly. Keep trusting that you deserve better, even though this is common in your experience. Go to the hotline dot org for more info
Open your own bank account.
And ob gyns are notorious for gaslighting women’s concerns. Many people struggle with their birth control. Quite a large percentage actually but it’s seen as a necessary inconvenience.
Proud of you OP!
Check op’s post history. She cheated on him (the “hiccup” she mentioned).
What is the point of this post? You already tried therapy and said it didn’t work, you don’t want to leave your marriage… what advice are you looking for?
When your wife decides she doesn't want to go anymore, she's saying you and your daughter aren't worth her time or any effort.
Don’t date someone that wants to hurt you. Don’t deliberately say things to hurt someone you are dating.
This relationship won’t last because you both do.
So he was creeping around campus for no good reason, looking for a young woman to turn into his servant and part time mommy, and he hid the fact that he had 3 kids until he had you locked in. Ugh, get out before you have a kid with him and are really trapped. He's gross.
OP specifically says in the first sentence that her husband knew these guys from their wedding and that she slept with “some of them”. Also, these weren’t friends husbands, these were the friends. I definitely think it needs to be discussed. Because if not, something like this happens and it can be relationship ending. This applies to if OP was a man or woman too. At least that’s my thought.
I mean i have no problems with it and you can get yourself hidden from these records if there are security concerns
Your husband does not care about your pleasure, and actively engages in a sex act you do not like, after telling him you don’t like it. He does not care about you. Talk to a lawyer. He’s 51, will not change, and has shown you how little he values you and your needs.
Does money trump everything?
If she is a gold digger, then yes your net worth would have been very important to her. Thankfully for you (and your bank account) you were not as rich as her target so you get to enjoy your life.
I work shifts and my partner has a regular schedule job so we aren't on the same schedule half the week but this doesn't cause issues for us. It's strange he doesn't want you to touch him do you not cuddle or have sex often?
Or rather like the concept of the relationship, sorry
Couples counseling isn't for this. If you stay you risk losing your children to CPS.
Get her to move out and file a police report.
OMG! It really is that same obnoxious person, who HAD to have the party on her Stepdaughter’s 18th birthday because she has this “flashy” job & only got another day off 2 months later. Don’t believe she learned anything from that post, just think she’s here just for the karma since that post was deleted.
She's the right age for it. My parents are around that age; old enough to appreciate snail mail, but young enough to be able to text / maybe even do social media.
It sounds like you want to open the door to a relationship so invite her to add you on social media (if you have a family safe account), or text or email in response with the number / short link. Neither Mum or myself are big phone people either. This way you can share photos and snippets from your lives and hopefully get closer.
If she doesn't respond you know you've at least thanked her properly. Maybe ask her to message when she gets it and let you know if she wants to message and get to know each other again that you'd like that opportunity.
Wtf
I think a big part of what you need to do to feel better about this is realize that 1) nothing was hidden from you out of malice and 2) it’s none of your business anyway. It’s his life. Given the overall wording of your post and your reaction to this information, you clearly never healed from the loss of your mother and I wouldn’t have told you right away either.
I lost my mother in 2016. I was 19 years old. I know how hard it is, but you need to allow yourself to move on. You’re still here. You have a whole life. Don’t waste it dwelling on what you’ve lost. You’ll never get to live! that way.
Have you ever been afraid of your husband previously? Does he scare you? If no then I have to wonder why you're thinking of divorce.
Red flag that he doesn’t answer the question too – was he dropping off another young girl because picking up someone young and naive was his goal. Who doesn’t mention their kids – wow
??? I feel like I’ve been trying to ignore that this is true
I have moved on tho, started dating other peope. Yeah with the awkward part your correct. I generally tends to keep interactions to bare minimum to none. Although things will get a little tense if we are put into clubs without our knowledge by university. I also tends to move away from those clubs.
Maybe i have not made my intention or advice clear above, it was also specified by another comment. This is my first time here and maybe i haven't did it right.
Thanks for the reply.
You know what it would look like? You couldn't have used your imagination before?
What the hell is this thread?
Wait till you see him doing it again, then say “hey this is me holding you accountable for staring at other women, we’re done” and never speak to him again
I think because he seemed to disclose the things that could be thought of as more common. He also said in another comment he didn't say because people have left before her when they found out.
Wow, you mean if the circumstances were entirely different people would respond differently? What a radical idea
Scat and watersports are extreme fetishes and are very hot boundaries for most people. When you say fetish, most people are thinking feet, latex, bdsm, doctor\patient, size queening…lots of things, but not excrement.
This is so far outside the norm for most, it should have been fully disclosed. It's a deal-breaker for everyone I've known in the scene.
Right now, you've just got to let her deal with it. You know that she's disgusted. She'll let you know if she can look past it. You have to be prepared for this relationship to end over this. I'm sorry.
Ahh. Gotcha. Well I would just be super clear with him on how you're going to do things and that he shouldn't expect you to change. Good luck!
Now you know why the rent is so reasonable.
He doesn't drop jobs like that, though yeah – he drops his min wage ones pretty quick. He doesn't like being treated like dirt he says, which is fair. He got those jobs from his parents but to be fair, I also got my first job with my parents help. It was just also min wage.
Also Actually LMFAO (both figuratively and literally XD)
Get that money then leave. Now that you’ve opened your bank account, he’ll just keep asking for more. Sounds like he’s not great with money, don’t let him drag you down with him.
Of course, and please do! Feel free to DM me, if you ever need to talk.
Ah shut up, another controlling male, you “don't trust the men she works with” next it will be her friends and family you want her to cut off because of “trust”
That's past red flag
You’re both each other’s rebound. Move on and co-parent. Don’t ever consider reconciliation ever again. You’re both obviously not good for each as a couple or partners.
You can quit but you won't work again.
Whether or not it counts as cheating is up to each couple to decide. Some people think it is and some don’t so coming to a consensus on it is important. Your GF said it bothered her so that should’ve been a conversation you two had in the beginning. Obviously she felt it was more of a dealbreaker than she let on, as she is now choosing to use it to justify her actions, or she is just using the porn as an excuse because she got caught.
WTH? This is crazy and absolutely going to wreak havoc on the marriage. Playing devils advocate, why wouldn’t she take the hall pass to do the same “research”? The whole idea is nuts.
So many things I’d do instead: MC, IC, king weekend away without kids, institute date nights, etc.
There shouldn’t be a marriage yet because you both sound too immature, not that this fact has stopped anyone before, mind you
You were studying. Not giving specisl attention to another person, but learning academic material to prepare for class and ultimately prepare for exams.
Sorry you are upset, you dodged a bad relationship. If he calls that cheating, he has major issues. He needs counseling. He is very controlling. He did a favor to you by showing his true nature and leaving.
Good riddance. You don't need that behavior from someone who supposedly loves you. Get out there meet new people and have fun. You are only young once.
He being abused and clearly deep into it so there isn’t going to be much you can say to him unless he wants to talk. Your sister is a POS who needs some serious therapy. Is your family the kind that can speak to her and she will listen? It needs to be clear to her that she is currently being the worst version of herself that she could choose and that it needs to change. Poor John needs some self esteem and really should be telling your sister that he won’t be with her til she can keep her entitled frigging hands to herself.
?oh plleeaaseee…he thinks you're an idiot. Google does not back pics with the wrong dates. If he has locations on, you can tell where the pic is from as well.
What else did he not tell you about? You are young. Don't stay with a liar. You can do better. Respect yourself because he sure as hell Doesn't Respect You!
I’ve been reading posts on this app trying to get to understand him because he asked me to it. but he fails to see how this affects me, and refuses to. I thought there could be a “we” in this matter for us to fix. I guess not. Thank you for your comment 🙁
It's time to look at the practicalities of marriage and finances are one of the very top spots. It sounds like you two aren't on the same page there and unless you can both get on the same page about what reasonable spending with shared finances look like then it's going to cause a lot of difficulties in a marriage. It's one of the top reasons couples fight
And? So fucking what? You raise your hands to anyone be prepared for them to do the same. It’s one of the reasons that there isn’t more male on male violence, because we understand on a basic level that if we resort to violence the outcome can be much much worse than expected. And that difference in size between you and a man will go badly for you if you hit the wrong guy.
Also, who are you to tell your boyfriend of three weeks to ditch his grandmother for you? Why couldn’t you wait until the following day? You should be happy that you’ve got a guy who loves his grandmother enough to follow through on his promise to help her. Never mind that you’ve got a guy who didn’t hit you back.
With a bit of luck, he’ll talk to someone who’ll help realise he’s dating a psychopath and dump your unpleasant ass.
Just because many others are struggling (including those chronically ill) doesn't mean he doesn't have the right to vent. Being a caretaker, a parent, and working full-time is incredibly taxing.
He doesn't sound unempathetic to me at all. He's aware of his 'dark thoughts' and is looking for advice on how to be a good husband. You wishing he becomes bedridden one day, now that is a fine example of a lack of empathy.
Why not join them both? If they deny you, just leave her.
This. So much this.
My husband and I can’t keep our hands off each other and have been married 12 years and have 3 kids (6,8,9). Idk what other relationships are like. Our only slumps have been pregnancy, birth and birth recovery related. We are adventurous and like to try new things, new toys.
Men seem to like like variety so I try to be open to what he’s craving. I can always tell when he’s thinking about doing something new but hesitant to do it for whatever reason. I don’t say anything but I’ll slowly encourage him to go for it. I give him opportunities and reward him via moans (1 of his biggest turn-ons). He gets to work toward something and feels gratified when he gets it. I could definitely communicate it with words but this way is more fun and gratifying for him.
The pandemic ended up being awesome because work from home meant we got to be together more. I feel bad for couples who don’t get along or felt stressed seeing their SO so often. All day long we’re patting each others butts in passing or squeezing other areas (when the kids aren’t around). Our free time we usually hang out and watch comedies, then he games or yo-yos (he’s always got some weird hobby going on and I love that about him), I read or write, and we’ll watch another show before sex and bed. We used to have sex every night, but around 40 we both developed problem skin that gets rashy if we indulge too much. Now it’s usually every other day.
It sounds like you have FOMO, but I warn you that “what’s out there” is a lot of trash and very little treasure. If you can’t find value in your partner, by all means break up, but don’t expect it to be easy to find what you had. It’s likely to bite you in the ass, where you feel like you blew up your life for some cheap sex with people who suck as companions. My husband and I both sowed our oats, dated duds and also nice people who weren’t a match for us.
I wish everyone could have experiences before finding their person. We both had a ton of experience by 25 when we met. I’d had 2 3-year and 2 1.5-year relationships by that time, and while my husband wasn’t as good at keeping relationships going, he amassed a much higher body count than I did. We knew what was out there and it was mostly trash. I was lucky. I always got whatever man I wanted, I never dated “bad boys” and STILL it was mostly trash. Cheater, liars, herpes… it’s a gross world out there. I’m happy to be taken but would probably have FOMO if I didn’t know the truth (That the majority of people are mostly awful or disgusting).
Honestly this is all about attitude. Are you still playful or do you only reserve that for a new partner? Do you make jokes that only the 2 of you understand? Does she? Just now my husband got a frozen burrito out of the fridge, kissed it and tried to make me jealous, and then we teased each other about his “having my way with a burrito”. as he walked out of the room he tickled my ribs and made me giggle more. Our days are full of interactions like that.
Ok, I’m out of time to ramble, hopefully something I said is helpful. Take care.
Jeez you sound exhausting.
Have you tried a custom size? Is it too tight?
If it's just “factual observations” then he wouldn't object to a taste of his own medicine, would he?
Your boyfriend is supposed to be your most trust person. Someone who would do anything to protect and would never hurt you. If we accidentally hurt the person we love, we should be doing everything in our power to make sure it doesn’t happen again and apologize profusely.
It sucks to find out you accidentally hurt someone you love and negative reactions are to be expected to some extent(shame, sadness, maybe even confusion), but for him to turn it on you and refuse to acknowledge it is a HUGE red flag
Have you attended the wedding of couples who engage in premarital sex? Have you attended a wedding where alcohol is served? What about pork?
If you have been to any wedding where these things take place, you’re not avoiding your friend’s wedding because you believe him to be immoral – you’re avoiding it because you’re homophobic and you’re using religion as a shield. Him being gay isn’t a choice. It’s how god made him. So either god makes mistakes – and an awful lot of them- or your god is a creature of incredible cruelty, creating people in a way you believe he says they should be punished for.
You should have a serious conversation about him and about why he’s being distant and who that other person he likes her social media posts .
Then your stupid
He is calling you a bitch, nothing makes him innocent here.
She's always going to keep putting it off. She has to admit she did something horrible and her relationship is going to be over.
Telling someone they're being cheated on is the right thing to do, but if you're going to face significant social reprecussuons for it, I wouldn't do it.
That is one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. He's totally manipulating you
That sounds good.
People don't show you how much you can count on them until you actually have to count on them. In the best of times people will show you a side of them that's easy but when things get very hot that's when you find out whether the person's really worth being around. You just had a major life event and your husband proved to you that the only thing he cares about is his penis.
I would not have a child with this man.
I would not stay married to this man.
I would not age around this man.
I would not go through the rest of my life knowing that my partner was going to drop the ball and think about his penis every time shit hit the fan for me.
Let yourself heal, get some therapy for YOU to handle ALL the different things that just occured. Then either consider couples counseling to teach your husband some empathy, or Gtfo.
That is name calling, no my husband has never called me a bitch or said anything like that in the decade we've been together.
That last part of your comments just let's me know that you are white y'all are so soft
Probably for the best, he was treating her like shit.
God people are so thoughtless sometimes.
Is postcoital dysphoria the same as post nut clarity?
They do value it… in like 5-8 years. My best words of advice is put a hold on relationships there are still ton of goals I'm sure you have, 22 is quite young to settle down. I'd focus on my career, working out, being the best you, that you can be, and maybe that person will fall into your lap while your doing so. Relationships tend to be more meaningful once it's from genuine friendship and evolves over time, it'll have a stronger foundation and will be more likely to last.
Info – what was she texting these other guys? Because it sounds like you don’t like her to talk to any other guy. And also go through her phone a lot. Was she actually flirting/ cheating? Or was it just the act of talking to a guy that your upset about?
Who says he even having sex with them. Asexual people kiss and hug and are lovey but don't want the sex there's a good chance it isn't what your thinking. And your over thinking a lot of this, you'll have to find a way to make peace with this and move on. He sucks.
It's not your job to hand him off to someone else, and his mental health and finances are his issues to deal with.
Break up. If he threatens suicide call 911 (or your equivalent). If he's manipulating you he'll see you don't take those threats lightly, but still are breaking up. If he's serious you'll be helping him. Then block him, go no-contact, and move on.
I understand that you feel the need to do something because it’s affecting people you care about but in this situation you literally have to accept the mentality of “this isn’t my problem”. You need to recognize that these are grown adults who are perfectly capable of making their own decisions. Your sister in law chooses to live! this lifestyle. Your mother and father in law choose to enable her. It’s not your job to create and enforce boundaries for other people.
Go on R/deadbedroom and see if this is what you want for the rest of your life.
It’s a thing.
just move on
Your opinion vs mine. I won’t change your mind and you won’t change mine.
Like I explained in the post, I wasn’t “examining” her underwear. It’s my kink I’ve been open about from the beginning, which she participated in herself. I guess what I didn’t explain properly is that she knew what I was doing the whole time. Finally, as I said, the last time was by happen stance because I was doing laundry. I see what you’re saying tho, and it would be valid if that were the case.
ITT: Redditors without jobs explaining work culture norms to people with jobs.
Agree with everything you said and want to add one thing. I think she's playing the husband too. The husband will also pay for that apartment and the money OP pays will go straight to her pocket.
You just say, “No. This isn't something I am looking for in a BF relationship. I am ending it. “
Find someone behaving in a way that makes you happy.
Fast, clean and simple.
You are certifiably entitled when it comes to the things your daughter has done for herself and how badly you treat her. I'm betting you don't have the fortitude to call her and be for her forgiveness because it's all about what you want not what she needs from you.
SHE DOESNT NEED TO SUPPORT YOUR SISTER YOU DAFT MONKEY.
You invited your sister in. That burden falls on you ALONE.
You tried to force her to let your hobo sister drive her car because she doesn’t have one. She didn’t want to because it’s her baby and she has that right. You then tried to force your daughter to sell her beloved modded car and instead buy a family car which she would be sharing. She didn’t want to because it’s not her responsibility to provide a car for you or your sister which you also LIED ABOUT BUYING BACK FOR HER. Because you just wanted to manipulate her into doing what you want.
So then when that doesn’t work, you kick her out of her room that she pays rent for. To “teach her she needs to help your family”
I’m sorry but what are YOU doing to help them? What are YOU sacrificing? Absolutely nothing. Your putting it ALL on your daughter’s shoulders.
Of course she left. I would have done even worse than she did when I left.
You’re taking advantage of your daughter and she’s had enough. She doesn’t have to help you. Figure it out.
She sounds like she needs therapy. It is not normal to call you that many times. She is toxic
I never thought about it tbh He’s very funny, sweet, and caring. He also never followed any new girls or interacted with them since we got together since we’re almost always together when I’m at his place. I thought that I can put an exception to him since he’s all this but somehow, it took the toll on me and I’m not ready for that break up convo yet honestly
“he was not a bad guy” yes he was. you’re in denial now, but he is a fucking awful person
You are clearly their meal ticket. I dont understabf why you even need to ask live! what to do. Your family is toxic AF and will ruin this relationship for you. I bet every interaction your boyfriend has with them makes him wonder whether the relationship is worth it. Imo you need to decide what matters to you and go for it cause if you are undecided your boyfriend is bound to decide its not worth the hassle. Your family sounds like the kind of people who absolutely would take advantage of you both forever if they could. Likely the reason they dont like him is cause he gives off “you cant control me” vibes.
Of course! Whatever works for you, but it's definitely not going to be a commonly held opinion.
UTIs are gross but the guy needs to chill a bit
Going to the strip club for a bachelor party is kind of fucked up. Why would you want to play single for one night? When marriage is so bad you think you need one night to be single and wild again, why do you marry? I can’t wrap my head around that.