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You are overthinking this. You are indulging a deep thread of insecurity. Did you know he was with other people before you? If so, why are you this concerned with blatant evidence that he was, in fact, with other people before you?
It's not my intention to put you down or disregard how you feel. I mean to say, if you love him so much, and he is your best friend, then you suddenly feeling “turned off” or “not attracted” to him anymore.. well, it sounds like a You problem. I know this sounds unkind, but it isn't meant to be.
Be who you are, as you are, let go of your jealousy and insecurities, and go love your best friend. The one who is with YOU. Not his ex.
You need to communicate what you're feeling. Especially regarding her being in control, that's not healthy. If she is unable to see your point, move on.
Can you give us an example of said behavior or a situation where they didn’t like it
How long has she been a single Mom? Maybe she can't afford printed pictures of him or multiple pairs of shoes?
But also you simply could ask to see his picture. I don't think that's weird.
Because being monogamous to one person matters a lot to me.
More than likely they had sex. Do not sign the birth certificate. Get a DNA test.
I'd say move on then. Find someone closer who's willing and able to give you the attention you need.
Agree to disagree I guess? I guess my thought is that if her history bugged this guy he now knows he needs to ask before continuing a relationship for 1.5 years. I don't think he's wrong for thinking this is a deal breaker, I also don't think not spelling out your sexual history for someone who didn't ask is “lying by omission”
After all the shit she spewed in the comments, she's staying with him (look at her update).
Ugh…I need out of this thread.
yes
It really sounds like you need to remove yourself from the situation and move out, whether or not you stay in the relationship. He’s made his high maintenance dog entirely your problem with zero consideration for you – the fact that he’s irritated you don’t get up in the middle of the night when you’ve been cleaning poop all day long is beyond disrespectful.
Move out and force him to face the situation head on without any support from you. And then once you’ve got some physical distance, I think it’s worth reevaluating how much of this is a dog problem and how much is a boyfriend problem.
I've got 3 degrees and I work as a museum curator so am by no means a dumbo. I don't understand the interstellar time thing.
Mainly because I just can't be fucked to think about it. Perhaps she's the same?
Do her a favour and let her go. She doesn't need to be with someone who thinks she's beneath him.
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People ghost. It's a very very very common practice with Tinder. All anybody knows for sure is that ghost you he did, which means he didn't want to see you again and didn't want to explain why.
I'm just going to state the obvious here, but you need to make a decision: Do you want to continue letting your best friend dictate your life or do you want to actually live! it and do so for yourself?
You clearly have feelings for her, but you let those feelings be known and she made it clear that she doesn't want to date you. As complicated as that situation may feel to you, that really is all there is to it.
She doesn't get to have her cake and eat it too. If she doesn't want to date you, then she needs to accept that you are inevitably going to date other people and that your “friendship” is going to have to be dialed back.
What you can do for yourself is to dial it back already now even though you haven't started dating yet. You're using your friendship just as much as an emotional crutch as she is, just for different reasons because you are probably still hoping that she will one day change her mind, and that isn't healthy for either of you.
Does your soon to be girlfriend know your and her married friend are flirting with each other? This is all so messy ?
Everyone's already commented on the drinking so I won't get too into that, but I'd definitely work on finding other ways to relax/relieve stress.
What I would like to focus on is why you're working 10 hours a day and doing 100% of the cooking and 70% of the cleaning? No wonder you're feeling stressed! If your partner is so worried about your health, maybe he should step up and take some of that load off your plate. How many hours a week does he work? Because the chose distribution doesn't sound very fair towards you.
This isn’t a relationship. It’s enabling. He’s sick: mentally and physically. Do not waste any more time in a relationship that is going nowhere. HE pulled a gun in you?! Call the cops, get a restraining order and get him out of your life. He needs serious mental health help. You have to do this for you both. There is jot future here that ends well.
Most pressed pills labeled as MDMA aren’t actually MDMA and can have a very wide range of other drugs in them. I highly doubt she did a reagent test before taking it like you should, it could very well prove fatal the first time you take it. Always test your drugs people
Your boyfriend is a colourist. His colourism isn’t even internalized anymore, he’s really comfortable saying it to your face.
Sorry that he’s a piece of shit who’s only dating you for your white skin tone.
Maybe I'm wrong and this might be an extreme example but I think most guys would have an issue with their gf traveling to spring break in Cancun with their single friends. Just a food for thought.
I would.
But I like your suggestion.
26 is young, U have so much to do and explore life !! U got a whole life ahead of u, I got so many friends my age and even younger are getting married or engaged but that doesn’t mean I’m old or missing out on life! Everyone’s got a different story u know. U need do chill and enjoy life.
See a lawyer and do what they tell you
Clearly the solution here is witchcraft.
Then let the man enjoy his Saturday morning train ride without a fuss. He got his hand cream, he got what was probably a chill ride and a good walk in. Leave him be.
Oof, the streets called and she answered…and you followed her down the block.
If you can't handle your partner doing ho shit, don't date a ho.
Yup.
I love Futurama!! I didn't know that was where it was from.
Could you imagine all the issues that would appear if you proposed and the two got married?
He is abusive. He is a user. He is treating you terribly.
I’ve dated a lot and there have been many assholes and no one has asked me to pay for their every day living expenses.
This needs to be said more!
If these issues only impact one domain of your life, then it’s not something like ADHD. I think you just need to focus on your partner more and actively listen when she’s around.
If you aren’t ok with him having relations with sex workers then breakup. Simple as that.
Especially considering he's gone 3 weeks a month.
Some people just don't think you should be looking through their phone. I have private conversations with friends and family that my significant other doesn't have the right to read. Not only that, but I'm very firm on trust. Either you trust me or you don't. Either I trust you, or I don't. If we need to look at each other's phones. There's no trust in our relationship, and that relationship is over. I'm 36 years old, not 15. If you think I'm acting funny or possibly hiding something, you come to me, and we discuss it. If what you come to me with has merit or if you if you just need reassurance because youre insecure (this one is a touch harder for me bc your insecurity should NOT BE projected onto me), I can offer proof any way I can that nothing is going on. If you go snooping behind my back, you've violated my trust, and our relationship is over. Some people just don't like to play games like this. I'm one of those people. There are others with views just like mine.