That’s funny as hell and I can respect that bro, but now that you’ve wasted that time with no repercussions to her, it’ll give her less respect in you as a fwb, she might throw you into the “too desperate” pile and lean on you as a last resort. I’d keep some dignity with me man, I’d stick to porn, get your nut in real quick, no hassle, and saves money.
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She was into me sure. It's just that our sex life was never like burning naked. She's always been particular about when and how we have sex. She isn't terribly adventurous or spontaneous
To be clear, what I'm going to say isn't about beating yourself up or making you feel bad. It's about acknowledging what happened.
Your friend was talking about how her partner is in bed. That's already a topic you should think about. I'm not saying never do it, people need to open up with their friends sometimes, but it's a sensitive area that should be treated appropriately. Maybe it's not great for idle gossip and your reaction should be supportive and not to start sharing the details of your own relationship for the sake of “bragging”?
Think about whether it's a good idea to be bragging about your partner. It's opening up for problems because some people aren't going to want you telling other people about things like this even before the pegging thing. If your friend is trying to express an issue they're having then throwing out that your partner is way better isn't a great way to help.
Some people are very open about these things, and that's fine, but it has to be properly discussed before you go about it. You don't just start bragging to one up a friend. It's not being a good friend or partner.
Again, to be really clear, it's okay to talk about things with your friends. It's okay to talk you out you about people you trust, but clearly it's dangerous if you aren't careful.
You have to go about it in a mature and sensitive way because it sounds like it was more like idle gossip to you and you were showing off. In which case, the way to stop it happening again isn't to promise really, really naked. The way to stop it happening again is to acknowledge the attitudes and behaviours you had that led you to doing it. Otherwise you'll get the same feeling again of wanting to show off and we'll be right back here.
I'd say you also want to be careful about who you trust. Your boyfriend trusted you, you trusted a friend, your friend probably trusted her boyfriend who probably trusted his friends and now everyone knows. Can you be any more angry at them than yourself? If someone puts confidence in you then it's your responsibility to hold to that standard. Otherwise everyone tells “just one person”.
No one on Reddit can diagnose your bf as a narcissist or anything else. Only a therapist after personal interviews with your bf can do that. What you describe is some anger management problems if he is blowing up over little things or always has to have things precisely his way. This could be caused by different personality issues. So it's naked to say what issues he actually has.
Your issue is if you want to stay with someone like this. It does not sound like you two have a healthy relationship, especially if you are afraid of him when he yells. Also you can not express yourself and your needs to him. His punishing you with the silent treatment is abusive and manipulatory. I think you need to break up for your own sake and for your sow mental health. You can text him why afterwards if you really need to, and after it is clear that it is over, but you should really just protect yourself and get away from him.
For the past 4 months most nights she doesn't come home.
I shouldn't but I beg and pled for her to come home, she never answers calls or text.
Sorry but she's already checked out of your marriage and sounds like she's already in a relationship with the other guy hence spending nights with him.
I'm to the point of leaving.
That's the only way out. The more you'll beg the more you'll disrespect yourself.
For the betterment and wellbeing of those animals. Put your foot down and take them to a shelter.
You are being a good person by dealing with them getting pissed at you, for them to freely neglect those animals is disgusting. They shouldn’t have them if they aren’t going to take care of them.
Shelter the current pets and refuse to ever allow any back into the house. Be as firm as you can be and stick with it, no animal deserves to be neglected just because someone wants a fuzzy critter for a few hours before getting bored of it.
I am sorry, but it sort of sounds like you're your own worst enemy here.
They invite you out (as friends do). And them expanding the social circle by inviting other people such as B, it makes you feel left out.
I think you should go and participate in these larger gatherings. And then take the initiative to organize smaller group settings where you're more comfortable.
If you refuse to go to this bigger gatherings on a regular basis, you will probably be invited less because you always say no. And then what? You feel even more isolated.
It really sounds like you are and always have been asexual. That isn't something you can fix because there is technically nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately, if your husband won't accept a sexless marriage, you two simply are incompatible. You need to have a conversation about your options. Whether it is divorce or him having a partner outside the marriage to fulfill his sexual needs, that's up to you two. But please address this soon. It's unfair to either of you to go on like this.
I'm brown and we make terrorist jokes with my friends all the time but depending on context, I can tell the difference between a joke and harmful language. Surely I don't appreciate the latter. I'd say definitely bring it up with her but do it in a non-confronting and peaceful way and make your intentions clear. Also it's important that you initiate it because if you leave it up to her, she might keep it, build it up and misinterpret it in a lot of ways and then fire it right back at you sometimes later.
It sounds to me like you aren't listening but rather already on to what you want to say next.
Trust me she knows you are doing this.
You need to LISTEN, respectfully, to your partner.
At first I was thinking it could be an ADHD thing that I struggle with, which is abrupt conversation changes but it isn't that. It's that you aren't listening and instead just talking over her with whatever you want to talk about.
If she's to the point that she is ready to leave, she's brought it to you a plethora of times and you haven't cared enough to make an effort to change.
It’s funny because no one said anything about her being fed up or upset in any capacity. She was very understanding and even admitted how it looked a bit off. This is the first occurrence of me having any doubts concerning her or the relationship. Clearly you’re not here to offer any useful opinions or insight.
After having done the roomate thing with a couple, if you are paying 50/50 they DO NOT get two votes in a conflict! Seriously, it gets really old knowing you are paying for half of everything, but NEVER getting a say in things like the temperature of the thermostat, where furniture should go, or what intenet/game services can be used in the main area.
I’m not going to give you relationship advice because this situation sucks all around (see what I did there).
However I will address the part where you say she looks like she was genuinely having fun. I took a beginning acting class and acting for film. Basically there’s no way she was genuinely having fun unless she finds acting itself fun. There’s so much going on with filming and so much to remember – you’re basically trying to get so much of your body language on camera so the audience can follow the story that you’re in unnatural positions that you’d never be in real life. Nobody actually holds a cup of coffee as close to their face as they do in a close up. Two people don’t have a conversation where they’re both facing the same direction more than each other. And people don’t have sex that’s visually appealing where you can actually see faces and body parts and what’s going on. She might be a good actress but I find it naked (there I go again) to believe that any actors and actresses in porn are genuinely enjoying themselves.
Have you both changed your passwords to your Messenger accounts? Do either you or she have any idea how someone could have gained access to either of your messages?
there are people who say they don't watch porn, and people who will say they will give up watching porn, but the people who actually truthfully mean it are 1 in 10000… sure not a trillion I was exaggerating for effect, but seriously, its like saying “you can't fantasize about anyone other than me” … and if someone agreed they would just be lying.
Is this post real? I can’t believe someone would voluntarily do something this bizarre.
That’s funny as hell and I can respect that bro, but now that you’ve wasted that time with no repercussions to her, it’ll give her less respect in you as a fwb, she might throw you into the “too desperate” pile and lean on you as a last resort. I’d keep some dignity with me man, I’d stick to porn, get your nut in real quick, no hassle, and saves money.
It means the minute he finds a blond blue eyed 6' tall 22 tear old he is going to suddenly decide that it's not working anymore.
Many people want their kuds to look like them but they won't go as far as describing their partner a problem in their way.just think about that.
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It's fascinating that it's totally “normal” for a girl to call him Daddy but it's a red flag when he call her Mommy.
But I think the answer should have been “I'm going to make you a mommy.”
Just need to clear my head. Give me your thoughts
You need to leave. She’s making it clear where her priority is.
She was into me sure. It's just that our sex life was never like burning naked. She's always been particular about when and how we have sex. She isn't terribly adventurous or spontaneous
I only needed to see your ages to tell you this is a red flag
To be clear, what I'm going to say isn't about beating yourself up or making you feel bad. It's about acknowledging what happened.
Your friend was talking about how her partner is in bed. That's already a topic you should think about. I'm not saying never do it, people need to open up with their friends sometimes, but it's a sensitive area that should be treated appropriately. Maybe it's not great for idle gossip and your reaction should be supportive and not to start sharing the details of your own relationship for the sake of “bragging”?
Think about whether it's a good idea to be bragging about your partner. It's opening up for problems because some people aren't going to want you telling other people about things like this even before the pegging thing. If your friend is trying to express an issue they're having then throwing out that your partner is way better isn't a great way to help.
Some people are very open about these things, and that's fine, but it has to be properly discussed before you go about it. You don't just start bragging to one up a friend. It's not being a good friend or partner.
Again, to be really clear, it's okay to talk about things with your friends. It's okay to talk you out you about people you trust, but clearly it's dangerous if you aren't careful.
You have to go about it in a mature and sensitive way because it sounds like it was more like idle gossip to you and you were showing off. In which case, the way to stop it happening again isn't to promise really, really naked. The way to stop it happening again is to acknowledge the attitudes and behaviours you had that led you to doing it. Otherwise you'll get the same feeling again of wanting to show off and we'll be right back here.
I'd say you also want to be careful about who you trust. Your boyfriend trusted you, you trusted a friend, your friend probably trusted her boyfriend who probably trusted his friends and now everyone knows. Can you be any more angry at them than yourself? If someone puts confidence in you then it's your responsibility to hold to that standard. Otherwise everyone tells “just one person”.
YTA for heading in sick, he’s the criminal for false imprisonment. Boy things are true, please don’t have children.
we have spoken to each other, she is very shy.
No one on Reddit can diagnose your bf as a narcissist or anything else. Only a therapist after personal interviews with your bf can do that. What you describe is some anger management problems if he is blowing up over little things or always has to have things precisely his way. This could be caused by different personality issues. So it's naked to say what issues he actually has.
Your issue is if you want to stay with someone like this. It does not sound like you two have a healthy relationship, especially if you are afraid of him when he yells. Also you can not express yourself and your needs to him. His punishing you with the silent treatment is abusive and manipulatory. I think you need to break up for your own sake and for your sow mental health. You can text him why afterwards if you really need to, and after it is clear that it is over, but you should really just protect yourself and get away from him.
Wishing you the best.
For the past 4 months most nights she doesn't come home.
I shouldn't but I beg and pled for her to come home, she never answers calls or text.
Sorry but she's already checked out of your marriage and sounds like she's already in a relationship with the other guy hence spending nights with him.
I'm to the point of leaving.
That's the only way out. The more you'll beg the more you'll disrespect yourself.
For the betterment and wellbeing of those animals. Put your foot down and take them to a shelter.
You are being a good person by dealing with them getting pissed at you, for them to freely neglect those animals is disgusting. They shouldn’t have them if they aren’t going to take care of them.
Shelter the current pets and refuse to ever allow any back into the house. Be as firm as you can be and stick with it, no animal deserves to be neglected just because someone wants a fuzzy critter for a few hours before getting bored of it.
I am sorry, but it sort of sounds like you're your own worst enemy here.
They invite you out (as friends do). And them expanding the social circle by inviting other people such as B, it makes you feel left out.
I think you should go and participate in these larger gatherings. And then take the initiative to organize smaller group settings where you're more comfortable.
If you refuse to go to this bigger gatherings on a regular basis, you will probably be invited less because you always say no. And then what? You feel even more isolated.
It really sounds like you are and always have been asexual. That isn't something you can fix because there is technically nothing wrong with you. Unfortunately, if your husband won't accept a sexless marriage, you two simply are incompatible. You need to have a conversation about your options. Whether it is divorce or him having a partner outside the marriage to fulfill his sexual needs, that's up to you two. But please address this soon. It's unfair to either of you to go on like this.
I'm brown and we make terrorist jokes with my friends all the time but depending on context, I can tell the difference between a joke and harmful language. Surely I don't appreciate the latter. I'd say definitely bring it up with her but do it in a non-confronting and peaceful way and make your intentions clear. Also it's important that you initiate it because if you leave it up to her, she might keep it, build it up and misinterpret it in a lot of ways and then fire it right back at you sometimes later.
It sounds to me like you aren't listening but rather already on to what you want to say next.
Trust me she knows you are doing this.
You need to LISTEN, respectfully, to your partner.
At first I was thinking it could be an ADHD thing that I struggle with, which is abrupt conversation changes but it isn't that. It's that you aren't listening and instead just talking over her with whatever you want to talk about.
If she's to the point that she is ready to leave, she's brought it to you a plethora of times and you haven't cared enough to make an effort to change.
It’s funny because no one said anything about her being fed up or upset in any capacity. She was very understanding and even admitted how it looked a bit off. This is the first occurrence of me having any doubts concerning her or the relationship. Clearly you’re not here to offer any useful opinions or insight.
???
You're welcome. I know it sucks but better is out there- I promise. But always advocate for yourself.
r/relationship_advice please approve. 🙂
He must think you were born yesterday. He's engaging in repeat behaviour.
After having done the roomate thing with a couple, if you are paying 50/50 they DO NOT get two votes in a conflict! Seriously, it gets really old knowing you are paying for half of everything, but NEVER getting a say in things like the temperature of the thermostat, where furniture should go, or what intenet/game services can be used in the main area.
OP, where is the update? I hope you got to the bottom of this issue.
I’m not going to give you relationship advice because this situation sucks all around (see what I did there).
However I will address the part where you say she looks like she was genuinely having fun. I took a beginning acting class and acting for film. Basically there’s no way she was genuinely having fun unless she finds acting itself fun. There’s so much going on with filming and so much to remember – you’re basically trying to get so much of your body language on camera so the audience can follow the story that you’re in unnatural positions that you’d never be in real life. Nobody actually holds a cup of coffee as close to their face as they do in a close up. Two people don’t have a conversation where they’re both facing the same direction more than each other. And people don’t have sex that’s visually appealing where you can actually see faces and body parts and what’s going on. She might be a good actress but I find it naked (there I go again) to believe that any actors and actresses in porn are genuinely enjoying themselves.
masking isn’t controlling it except for when you want it that way.
Maybe it wasn't roofies the first time and she just didn't want to take responsibility
Quit using they, your partner is a woman
Have you both changed your passwords to your Messenger accounts? Do either you or she have any idea how someone could have gained access to either of your messages?
I agree with the last sentence, but those aren’t shallow reasons to want kids.
there are people who say they don't watch porn, and people who will say they will give up watching porn, but the people who actually truthfully mean it are 1 in 10000… sure not a trillion I was exaggerating for effect, but seriously, its like saying “you can't fantasize about anyone other than me” … and if someone agreed they would just be lying.