You missed one call and your mom started calling your bf asking him about where you were and when you'll be home-I can understand why he wouldn't have appreciated being spoken to the way he was. Just because she's traditional it doesn't mean she has the right to speak to him like a child. I'm the kid of immigrants as well, so I know all about traditional. Also, your mother asked if he was just being white…you don't see anything wrong with that? And then you said yes, thats what it is, he was just being white. So you and your mom only like his Asian half…and don't mind saying it out loud. My partner is Mexican, would it be appropriate for my dad to ask “is he just being Mexican”? No, and my white European parents would never in a million years say something like that. I don't think think this is a sustainable relationship, you'd be better off finding someone who isn't half white so he doesn't contaminate any future children you may have.
Just focus on you OP. Especially at such a young age. You don't need the drama, you learn so much about yourself at your age and the adventures that you will go further yourself. Let her be and of she keeps at it just block her. She is not worth your time or memory anymore.
That’s absolutely something you two need to speak about and it’s not emasculating to tell him you’d like if he initiated and would love to know if he thinks right now it’s enough or if he would like to have sex more. But in a relationship sex needs to be a topic both can speak freely about. That’s super important to find a rapport. I don’t see how it could emasculate him (that’s a stupid notion anyways and to me just an excuse not to take your girls needs into consideration)
Ik it seems like it, but my grandma got married on a Tuesday, my mom too and my brother. I wanted to continue that little tradition. Originally, we were going to cancel the vendors but decided that partying would be better and followed the advice of other redditors. As for the two week vacation, you'd be surprised how much my rich friends spend without batting an eye. Traveling last minute is never as issue with them due to it becoming a habit (they go back and forth between countries at worst due to unexpected work stuff). They haven't got the tickets and are still looking.
You can share your insecurities and ask her for reassurance, just don't blame or shame her for something that is outside of her control.
I'm heading for my mid 30s and still waiting to hit the mythical 'expiration date' where random men will start losing interest and leave me alone, and I would say I'm average looking at best, if your gf is even remotely attractive she's going to get hit on..
It's tiresome and if you've dealt with it for the majority of your teens/adult life it becomes a matter of laugh or cry, laughing it off is preferable in my opinion. In a work environment it's often a no win situation – react in a negative way and you are suddenly the wicked witch of the west, can't take a joke, too difficult to work with etc., and management is not always supportive. It was an absolute nightmare managing working relationships with colleagues at some companies I worked for.
So a woman gets divorced and dates a 19 year old guy.
Flip the genders. It happens so often, society doesn't blink. Hell, Leonardo DiCaprio hangs out on yachts filled with very young women and everybody's cool with it, including those who see his movies.
Moving on…you said you don't trust Shane. But do you trust your girlfriend? That's the real question. Shane can try to move in all he wants, but if she's not willing it doesn't matter.
Not to belittle your fears but I think you’re making a bigger deal out this than you should.
Lots of people have rape fetishes woman included, CNC is fairly popular. Sometimes fetishes are deal breakers and that’s fine. But having searched that porn does not automatically make him a predator.
Besides being clean, what else have you done to show your change?, have you looked for professional help to deal with your addiction?
You need to realize that your word is worthless now, you have to show actions to show your change, go to counseling and propose couples therapy. These are the bare minimum.
he could just be “dumb” an not know the meaning everyone is saying historically this and that but like Not everyone knows the meanings of flowers other than it's just common for people to give roses it's like the “standard” flower you give people a lot of the time
I'm not saying it's not at least a little weird he gifted her flowers no matter the reason but it's also not entirely a lie because March is women's history month so he very well Could be giving her flowers for exactly that
You just explain that you now want to online with your boyfriend as a couple. You’re giving her plenty of notice to find something else. You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s your house and as long as you give her plenty of time, then that’s that.
As a fisherman who occasionally fishes salmon tournaments, it’s nice if someone wants to show up to a weigh in to support me but I’d never expect it. They should be interested in how me and my fishing partners do, but I’d never expect them to be up early enough for take off and fighting the elements unless they genuinely wanted to fish with me.
I really hope you don’t break up with your boyfriend because of this. Your brother is a racist jerk that needed to be humbled. Sounds like he hasn’t learned his lesson, but perhaps he’ll keep his ignorant mouth shut.
Figures. I guess this explains why for 3 years, she just sat and listened to him talk about his ex and never once questioned him. I don't understand why woman do this to themselves
Why are you turning him down if you don't even know him? Give him a chance. Go on a double date with H and C…. Online and laugh and see if you can love and if not then at least you made a friend.
Yes the internet mocking him… I guess he doesnt care about it. 19 is adult. Yes, it would be better if she would be with a 19 years old guy and they would have a family and stay together for 70 years but she can make her own decisions.
This hypetethical girl most likely wont find a lifelong partner in her early 20s anyway so why not spend some time with a 55 year old succesful man, why would it be better to hang out with a 22 year old dude?
Sorry to break it to you OP, but, this is something for you to worry about.
Doesn’t matter if you are the more “masculine” one. If you want to be a mother then you should be able to be a mother and enjoy the full pregnancy/birth experience.
You and your partner are due to get married, and she comes out to say that her family wouldn’t love the child the same if it wasn’t biologically hers?! And “bad genes?!” Really?! You could have “the greatest” genes and still give birth to a disabled child. Or your child could still become a sociopath. You never know. How come only your “genes are bad”. What about the donor?
Is it to say she would feel the same as her family?!
Sorry about that, but to me this is a red flag. All she said sounded like a petty attempt to make excuses for not wanting a child that is not biologically hers.
You are immature and on able to have a real relationship. I think you should just tell your girlfriend that she’s right and she should break up with you. Maybe someday you’ll finally get to the point where you’re mature enough to actually be in a relationship right now you’re not
“hey, I am not into your family tradition and want to name OUR son something else” there you go, that should start the conversation..Why wait even longer to bring something up that is bothering you? seems kinda foolish
I think i wrote it wrong he didn't post anything and honestly i don't have any problems with that i post pictures with my male friends too.. He made her a reel for her insta id… It's just the effort and the thing with lying that gets me
You missed one call and your mom started calling your bf asking him about where you were and when you'll be home-I can understand why he wouldn't have appreciated being spoken to the way he was. Just because she's traditional it doesn't mean she has the right to speak to him like a child. I'm the kid of immigrants as well, so I know all about traditional. Also, your mother asked if he was just being white…you don't see anything wrong with that? And then you said yes, thats what it is, he was just being white. So you and your mom only like his Asian half…and don't mind saying it out loud. My partner is Mexican, would it be appropriate for my dad to ask “is he just being Mexican”? No, and my white European parents would never in a million years say something like that. I don't think think this is a sustainable relationship, you'd be better off finding someone who isn't half white so he doesn't contaminate any future children you may have.
or open the relationship up
Just focus on you OP. Especially at such a young age. You don't need the drama, you learn so much about yourself at your age and the adventures that you will go further yourself. Let her be and of she keeps at it just block her. She is not worth your time or memory anymore.
Or he's having sex but just not with her.
I'd rather actually be alone than with someone who makes me feel alone.
You’re honestly just a piece of shit
That’s absolutely something you two need to speak about and it’s not emasculating to tell him you’d like if he initiated and would love to know if he thinks right now it’s enough or if he would like to have sex more. But in a relationship sex needs to be a topic both can speak freely about. That’s super important to find a rapport. I don’t see how it could emasculate him (that’s a stupid notion anyways and to me just an excuse not to take your girls needs into consideration)
Ik it seems like it, but my grandma got married on a Tuesday, my mom too and my brother. I wanted to continue that little tradition. Originally, we were going to cancel the vendors but decided that partying would be better and followed the advice of other redditors. As for the two week vacation, you'd be surprised how much my rich friends spend without batting an eye. Traveling last minute is never as issue with them due to it becoming a habit (they go back and forth between countries at worst due to unexpected work stuff). They haven't got the tickets and are still looking.
Both are toxic. No justification for violence and don’t scream about people.
You can share your insecurities and ask her for reassurance, just don't blame or shame her for something that is outside of her control.
I'm heading for my mid 30s and still waiting to hit the mythical 'expiration date' where random men will start losing interest and leave me alone, and I would say I'm average looking at best, if your gf is even remotely attractive she's going to get hit on..
It's tiresome and if you've dealt with it for the majority of your teens/adult life it becomes a matter of laugh or cry, laughing it off is preferable in my opinion. In a work environment it's often a no win situation – react in a negative way and you are suddenly the wicked witch of the west, can't take a joke, too difficult to work with etc., and management is not always supportive. It was an absolute nightmare managing working relationships with colleagues at some companies I worked for.
Maybe you should grow up and stop thinking you're entitled to other people's privacy
So a woman gets divorced and dates a 19 year old guy.
Flip the genders. It happens so often, society doesn't blink. Hell, Leonardo DiCaprio hangs out on yachts filled with very young women and everybody's cool with it, including those who see his movies.
Moving on…you said you don't trust Shane. But do you trust your girlfriend? That's the real question. Shane can try to move in all he wants, but if she's not willing it doesn't matter.
Not to belittle your fears but I think you’re making a bigger deal out this than you should.
Lots of people have rape fetishes woman included, CNC is fairly popular. Sometimes fetishes are deal breakers and that’s fine. But having searched that porn does not automatically make him a predator.
What about the hookups part.
What about the hookups part.
I hope you’re able to get therapy for yourself. Your husband sounds extremely immature and egotistical
I am only half way through but dude, your wife cheated on you. Full stop. It’s not okay.
Besides being clean, what else have you done to show your change?, have you looked for professional help to deal with your addiction?
You need to realize that your word is worthless now, you have to show actions to show your change, go to counseling and propose couples therapy. These are the bare minimum.
He could either be into her
Or
he could just be “dumb” an not know the meaning everyone is saying historically this and that but like Not everyone knows the meanings of flowers other than it's just common for people to give roses it's like the “standard” flower you give people a lot of the time
I'm not saying it's not at least a little weird he gifted her flowers no matter the reason but it's also not entirely a lie because March is women's history month so he very well Could be giving her flowers for exactly that
You just explain that you now want to online with your boyfriend as a couple. You’re giving her plenty of notice to find something else. You’re not doing anything wrong, it’s your house and as long as you give her plenty of time, then that’s that.
As a fisherman who occasionally fishes salmon tournaments, it’s nice if someone wants to show up to a weigh in to support me but I’d never expect it. They should be interested in how me and my fishing partners do, but I’d never expect them to be up early enough for take off and fighting the elements unless they genuinely wanted to fish with me.
I really hope you don’t break up with your boyfriend because of this. Your brother is a racist jerk that needed to be humbled. Sounds like he hasn’t learned his lesson, but perhaps he’ll keep his ignorant mouth shut.
Figures. I guess this explains why for 3 years, she just sat and listened to him talk about his ex and never once questioned him. I don't understand why woman do this to themselves
What do you mean Instagram and nudes? Anything even approaching that is banned into oblivion. Or do you just mean scantily clad?
Why are you turning him down if you don't even know him? Give him a chance. Go on a double date with H and C…. Online and laugh and see if you can love and if not then at least you made a friend.
Yes the internet mocking him… I guess he doesnt care about it. 19 is adult. Yes, it would be better if she would be with a 19 years old guy and they would have a family and stay together for 70 years but she can make her own decisions.
This hypetethical girl most likely wont find a lifelong partner in her early 20s anyway so why not spend some time with a 55 year old succesful man, why would it be better to hang out with a 22 year old dude?
I would have dumped it on his bed, left, and blocked him permanently.
Sorry to break it to you OP, but, this is something for you to worry about.
Doesn’t matter if you are the more “masculine” one. If you want to be a mother then you should be able to be a mother and enjoy the full pregnancy/birth experience.
You and your partner are due to get married, and she comes out to say that her family wouldn’t love the child the same if it wasn’t biologically hers?! And “bad genes?!” Really?! You could have “the greatest” genes and still give birth to a disabled child. Or your child could still become a sociopath. You never know. How come only your “genes are bad”. What about the donor?
Is it to say she would feel the same as her family?!
Sorry about that, but to me this is a red flag. All she said sounded like a petty attempt to make excuses for not wanting a child that is not biologically hers.
You are immature and on able to have a real relationship. I think you should just tell your girlfriend that she’s right and she should break up with you. Maybe someday you’ll finally get to the point where you’re mature enough to actually be in a relationship right now you’re not
“hey, I am not into your family tradition and want to name OUR son something else” there you go, that should start the conversation..Why wait even longer to bring something up that is bothering you? seems kinda foolish
That’s fucked up.
I think i wrote it wrong he didn't post anything and honestly i don't have any problems with that i post pictures with my male friends too.. He made her a reel for her insta id… It's just the effort and the thing with lying that gets me