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Date: October 4, 2022
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Buy a washer/dryer. You can get all-in-one units that are portable, and only need a sink and a power outlet. (I had a Japanese washer/dryer like this to the about 10 years of studio apt life ) If you've got a laundry area (as opposed to a small apartment), you can hit the used appliance store and get a washer/dryer set for a couple hundred bucks.
So your question is how do you approach your wife, in that you want her to block him and go no contact with him.
I would ask her to imagine that you were attacked and nearly killed by someone you were both friends with, that you saw them point a shotgun at you and that was majorly traumatising and you want nothing to do with them ever again.
But she has maintained contact with this person and is talking about seeing them.
Because this is the root of the issue, you have seen the worst of him, over and over, and you want nothing to do with him ever again, so any contact she has with him hurts you and keeps what happened fresh in your mind so to speak. It is a betrayal of support for you.
Again the problem is that she has been trained to forgive him time and time again. That if she doesn't do what he wants he gets annoyed and angry and MIL wants to keep him calm and placate and will drag your wife into this mess because her refusal to go along is seen as causing problems. If she only gave in then there would be no problems to fix.
It is called rocking the boat in that MIL is keeping the boat steady for her son to be in control because he is the one she wants to keep calm, you and your wife are in your own boat and by refusing to get back into their boat is the problem.
The only fix is to go no contact or low contact with extreme boundaries with them all, MIL is the one guilt tripping your wife into keeping contact for her own needs, it is MIL that needs a serious time out.
Given that this situation has involved you preventing a death of her father, this isn't a mild case of MIL interference in your life, it is literally having been attacked by him and you want nothing to do with him ever again. Either your wife is on board with that or you have to decide if you can continue with people who chose to ignore and support him.
From my own experience of a serious life threatening attack of a family member towards another family member – moving away helps a lot. Distance helped to deal with any questions of contact.
You are already cheating on Bob by having an inappropriate relationship (aka Emotional Affair) with Sean.
All your actions and communications with Sean are a choice, and your choices are setting in motion the very things you say you want to avoid. Having an EA with Sean is not the way to fix your self esteem issues.
It's basically shorthand for 'I agree with this' or 'this statement is correct'.
Bullet status = dodged.
when we think back, we tend to remember the good parts and neglect or minimise the gross parts, or the parts that led to the breakup in the first place.
probably better to leave things be. I just don't think any of the things that drove you away from her have changed in five months.
Ok I assume your currebt bf cares about you and you feel guilty for not loving him enough. Go to therapy or perhaps psychiatrist first. I amnot mean I wish someone told it to me much earlier in life.
And what if he is on the Autism spectrum? Is this an insult? I don't get the point of your comment and it's hella rude.
For me the biggest part of this is OP saying “it’s like me watching two movies in the next room.” How is their actual connection? As you said, do they have date nights? Do they have conversations? Or does he just stay in the house and goblin mode in a different room when he’s not doing his required chores?
Seriously?
OP may still be very shut down. Not everyone has a powerful traumatic response to rape, but it may just be that she's not able to process yet.
It was prob just a joke.
A really insensitive and shitty joke. You deserve and apology.
Snooping through each other's things doesn't scream “we're great together”.
Get some couple's counseling and individual counseling.
She is probably already having sex with other people and you've already lost her. Keep your dignity and just break up with her, there is no coming back from this
Breakup and never look back. Fuck her friends, fuck her, fuck anything to do with her. You are whats important king.
You completely went off birth control? Sorry if this is tmi but did you just stop having sex or what
Idk I survived through a war as a child in the Middle East, was abused by family members and strangers, went through literal hell as a kid but I was still immature in my early twenties compared to now in my thirties. I wanted to be numbed out and the best way was to ignore feelings mine and others included so that’s not always the case as it is with your partner. It took me getting older to really understand my situation and accept it. That’s great she was able to move forward more quickly.
Maybe it’s easier for some to get through and become more matured at a young age from it but just cause you go through shit doesn’t mean you’re automatically going to be mature and put together. I had to take my time to get there. Everyone is different.
I think what OP wants is for his gf specifically to already get to a point of maturity that she’s just not interested in and I think he just wants her yo figure it out but it might take a lot of time and many years.
I’m with you. Good job! You need some new friends.. ?
…this is a real post. Thank you for the questions.
He is living rent free and doesn’t pay any bills. That little boy better have the house spotless and take care of all your needs! No grown man should act like that. He didn’t want to go he could had order it to just pick it up or it be delivered. Do yourself a favor dump him and never look back.
I think you burned that bridge and the Haitian guy, if he’s that violent to a stranger he’s not safe. Just forget the night happened and move on completely.
So they don't care that he hurt you, could have given you a life long STD, and/or or got the other woman pregnant?
In that case you may just need to suffer 2-5 days a month, and be “busy” 2 months a year!
Do not.
Not only that, your relationship only started because they swiped back on you. Not because you set it up.
Do not tell anyone that. Take that secret to your grave that you were interested enough to make the profiles, because the way you’re wording it sounds super predatory. Don’t do that.
That’s pretty fucked up that anyone would ask you to change your personality. Run away!