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Onlyfans / stellababyhayes, y.o.
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Date: October 16, 2022
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Do it in person, after 1.5 years your owe her that. Just lay out the facts “I can’t continue this relationship. I thought that being a step father is something that I can handle, but I now know that’s not the case. You owe it to your kids to be dedicated to their time and interests, but I feel I need a partner who can devote some time to me as well, and I don’t think that’s possible with how I’ve seen that this family needs to operate. I also can’t deal with the drama that your baby daddy brings to the table any more. The way I want to deal with that man doesn’t help your co parenting relationship, and I feel I need to take myself out of the equation so that I don’t get in the middle of how you and him deal with each other. I’m sorry that I didn’t realize this sooner and that it may have an effect on your boys, but I don’t feel I’m up to the task of being involved with this family any more, and I hope that you know that it’s not a criticism of the life you’ve made for yourself, it’s about me and how I want to structure my life.”
You’re not a bad person for needing to back out. The step parent life isn’t for everybody
Send her an Outlook invite. That’s what I do.
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quit being a cheap sob and help your partner out.
I’m thinking he has done some questionable things to women in his past, and he doesn’t want a man like him treating his daughter in that manner.
Some reason it’s easier for him to think about his daughter being dominant and “slaying puss” like her old man. It’s hard for him to imagine her being glazed head-to-toe by a few dudes on a wild night.
It is messed up that us American men think this way. Hell, from 12 to 30 I thought about fucking everything I looked at. It’s how we’re conditioned. Maybe if a nipple/nudity was casually shown television and sex was discussed normally. Everything in this country is so polar. Our education is either “Never have sex until you’re married. Don’t worry about how it works or pleasure.” or watching porn alone at 11 and thinking that’s a healthy relationship.
Really appreciate the feedback and sharing your experience being pregnant. Something I perhaps didn’t convey well in the post is that these low energy periods have been going on for a few years now. To put it in perspective, her mum calls me from now and then to check-up on her to see what her energy is like. She’s just moved into her second trimester and I have no doubt that’s not helped with the recent wave of low energy, but her energy levels are not any worse now than she has been in the past. To your point on regret, I think the past with her has been fairly good in terms of opportunity spent. This is in part because as soon as we had the money and time to do proper travelling the pandemic had started. I perhaps do resent the pandemic for taking a couple of ideal traveling years from us, as I’m sure many do. It’s more the future that worries me. In terms of travelling, she is has to do a week away for work ~twice a year. I’d plan on going during these periods so we not missing each other more than we would anyway. Ironically I think she doesn’t want me to go for a fear of missing out, despite her not wanting to go. The idea of a babymoon is a good idea. I’ll suggest it. Thanks.
Based on how you described how he makes you feel, he's probably not a person you want to be friends with.
Your past actions lead him to believe he can have it all: you at home for easy sex and splitting costs/housekeeping, an affair partner, and freedom to do as he pleases with his friends or whoever.
Nope. It is not.
Thats… Strange. Sometimes in the BDSM scene a sub will refer to themselves as “this one” as a submission item (with discussion and consent and all of that). Is he hinting, or just super weird? If he IS hinting, I would caution heavily against doing anything with someone that cant negotiate about it openly. Although it sounds like that's not where you head is at anyway.
I don't want to divorce her, I love her. I just want the bullshit to end. And I only agreed for her. I thought home would be better. I did it because I loved her. And yet she just ignores my issues. She basically tells me to toughen up and ignore it, as if it's so easy. Why don't I deserve any love or any fucking support?
I've been with her for 12 years, i love her. I have no intention to leave her. I don't blame her. I know it's not her fault. I just want her to stop pretending it's so easy.
You need a special kind of therpay
How is this even something that you need to ask advice over? If that's the support your bf can expect from you, and that's the type of racist shit he has to deal with (with no support from you even though it is your family that's racist), I feel sorry for him
Time to remind my myself Reddit isn’t real life and this likely isn’t a real story.
If it is, either your relationship with your bf is over, or your relationship with your brother is over.
I don't think there's anything to “ruin” in this relationship any further ?
I think as soon as you guys have sex he’s going to leave, so leave now. Mega creepy ?
i don’t, ig what really bothered me is how easy it was to speak down on be to his friend when his friend only actively talked good abt his gf
Its not your job to know if he dropped it. Its not your job to fix this for him or hold him accountable.
If he is 21, he is capable of dealing with his issue.
I say this as someone who found out my under 10 child discovered porn via youtube – it popped up in one of the side bars when he was watching some minecraft crap (when i thought he was watching a cartoon). Then he went back and searched for it using words appropriate to his age in google. It made me physically ill as a parent to find out that my young child was exposed to it because I screwed up and didn't have the parent controls on my device. It made me sicker to discover he searched it out and how bad the stuff was he actually saw. We now have all devices locked down. So, I get how he easily could have stumbled on it and how it triggered something to become addictive.
But it is NOT your repsonsibility to fix this for him.
It IS your responsiblity to live! your life with self respect and dignity and to uphold your very appropriate boundaries. Do not allow him to try to rope you into some co-dependent crap.
You are 20. You don't need mind games or manipulation.
Thanks I think I need to do this. He's definitely naive about trauma and recovery. I think we need to have a session with the therapist because I don't think he realizes the effect my past trauma has on me now (and has been having on me this whole time). I truly think he thinks since I didn't do anything about it for so long that it wasn't that bad/bother me that much. But it's because I have been so ashamed for so long I could barely admit these things happened.
Also a 40 year old man here.
I agree 100%. The way he talks is also objectification of you, its wrong from all angles.
I think she was talking to a coworker about a student. Not talking directly to a student.
Your partner did not want to have sex with you, she put up with it.