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Try to compromise. Make her feel secured. She wants her around her.. so tell her to find some activities you two can do together. Ask her to write down 10 things she would like to do and you also do the same..then compare and see if there's any common interest.
She probably doesn't like how she looks and she's afraid you'll leave her so that's why she's controlling you. Try to reassure her that you doing things on your own doesn't mean that you will leave her, it doesn't mean that you don't love her. Try to negotiate in order to have a couple of hours a week for yourself.
Ask her why she's upset and listen to her. Try to figure out what is she really saying. Don't accuse her of anything, don't confront her, don't put her in a situation that she gets defensive. Don't let her use “blame shifting” on you (saying that you are a liar… You hide what you are doing and don't let her make you feel bad about yourself)
Obviously she's making you miserable and if she doesn't want to understand it then she doesn't love you. Her love is not healthy.
I think you two need a professional help. You can't make her change who she is.. she's the one that should work on herself but right now she doesn't need to because you are a weak person and she can emotionally manipulate you.
She's using “intermittent reinforcement” on you. When you do what she wants you, she's happy and she's making you feel good about yourself. When you try to do what you want she's punishing you and making you miserable until you give up and behave.. it's toxic but you can't tell her that and hit her with the truth because she can't accept it.
Understand that is also your fault that you let her do this to you, acknowledge your mistakes and don't resent her and try to blame only her for your unhappiness..
Try to compromise. Make her feel secured. She wants her around her.. so tell her to find some activities you two can do together. Ask her to write down 10 things she would like to do and you also do the same..then compare and see if there's any common interest.
She probably doesn't like how she looks and she's afraid you'll leave her so that's why she's controlling you. Try to reassure her that you doing things on your own doesn't mean that you will leave her, it doesn't mean that you don't love her. Try to negotiate in order to have a couple of hours a week for yourself.
Ask her why she's upset and listen to her. Try to figure out what is she really saying. Don't accuse her of anything, don't confront her, don't put her in a situation that she gets defensive. Don't let her use “blame shifting” on you (saying that you are a liar… You hide what you are doing and don't let her make you feel bad about yourself)
Obviously she's making you miserable and if she doesn't want to understand it then she doesn't love you. Her love is not healthy.
I think you two need a professional help. You can't make her change who she is.. she's the one that should work on herself but right now she doesn't need to because you are a weak person and she can emotionally manipulate you.
She's using “intermittent reinforcement” on you. When you do what she wants you, she's happy and she's making you feel good about yourself. When you try to do what you want she's punishing you and making you miserable until you give up and behave.. it's toxic but you can't tell her that and hit her with the truth because she can't accept it.
Understand that is also your fault that you let her do this to you, acknowledge your mistakes and don't resent her and try to blame only her for your unhappiness..