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  1. I know this has been said in a couple of other comments, but I'm going to reiterate this one:

    Stop. Doing. Things. For. Him.

    Do what you need for yourself. He does not see your invisible labour, and he doesn't care how much it affects you as long as his needs are met.

    You have talked to him, repeatedly, and he claims understanding, yet nothing changes. He will not change unless he is inconvenienced. Stop making life easy for him at your own expense.

    Do your own laundry, get him his own basket. Cook the meals you want, only cook for him if it's convenient. Behave as if you are the only person who matters in the relationship – which is what he is doing. Look after yourself, stop going the extra mile.

    One of two things will happen. He will pick up his act, or the two of you will realise that you are not compatible as a couple. The only other option is you keep behaving as his servant – and you are clearly over that. But you do need to be decisive about stopping.

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