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Room for live sex video chat pleasureMyAss-
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Birth Date: 1995-12-01
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Date: October 8, 2022
We don't have a bathtub. I put on my swim trunks to give our 3 yo girl her shower, and then shower myself afterward, never removing my trunks. Problem solved.
I read it like it’s transactional as well. I mean to each there own with their boundaries. Even the sexual one seems reasonable with the amount of surprise babies. I don’t understand not being able to spend more than a couple nights at her place. That sounds like ‘if you want to spend more time with me you need to make it permanent’ that one is very odd to me.
INFO- OP why do you have these boundaries? Is it for financial and physical protection? Or is it to get someone to propose? Only you can answer this and you don’t even need to share it with us cause it’s no one’s business. But if it’s only to get someone to propose… well… you’ll miss out on a lot of fun things like sleepovers with your partner by limiting yourself to ‘wife’ and ‘not wife’ roles.
Oh, and she needs to apologise to you for making you feel bad ;). Get her to apologise 😉
First OP, there's absolutely no denying that your husband screwed up big time. And if it's an absolute deal breaker for you, that's fine, but please decide for yourself – and do what's best for you.
IF it was in fact a donation at a fertility clinic (and they have the paperwork), then that may (or may not) make the whole thing more tolerable.
And from there it seems like the betrayal of not discussing this ahead of time may be worse than anything else. As if you were on board, then the idea may not have seemed so horrifically bad.
So this is a difficult decision for you to make – but imho there aren't any absolutely right or wrong answers. And one option that you have is to take some time to decide – maybe taking some time away from him to think about it (and to see how he responds),
He didn’t abandon his family his ex left him actually due to his depression probably relapses but he’ll never tell me everything all he told me is that she left him because of that and it’s 50/50 because he’s lied before I don’t know what to say and how to trust certain things pertaining to that
Guy wants me to travel 2 hours to see him and get into a very hot tub on our first date…
Guy wants me to put in all the effort and get naked on a first date.
Fixed that for you.
This right her OP
I was your age when I got an abortion at 7.5 weeks, I was in a year long relationship at the time and I still knew having a baby wasn’t right for either of us despite the fact that at the time we were a good couple. You’re young and have so much ahead of you, if you’re having these doubts now then who’s to say they won’t be exacerbated if you do decide to continue with the pregnancy? I’m not saying you should have one as it’s entirely your choice, but by having mine it enabled me to get a degree and start travelling the world at 23. I don’t regret mine for a minute and it’s actually the best choice I ever made.
How’d you make the text so big?
You are not put on this earth to make him whole.
Say that as many times as you need to.
If he can’t make the changes on his own, then he needs to consult someone who he cannot manipulate or influence.
The biggest problem is that people in his situation are really bad at self-reflection and objectivity, which are the two really basic elements required to make significant change.
If he’s not interested in the accountability and schedule of seeing a therapist, he’s not genuinely looking for change.
EXACTLY THIS!!! If he TRULY thought there wasn't anything wrong with giving her sex toys, he would have just told his wife, since he told her about all the other gifts too!
At what age don't you need a chaperone?
Not sure why you need to meet her friends. Inviting you along will change the dynamic. Especially if they know you’re trying to assess whether or not she’s “allowed” to hang out with them.
Unless your wife has given you reason in the past not to trust her, I think you need to back off of this. She can’t tell the friend group that Ben can’t join because her husband says so.
This sounds very controlling.
What version of The 12 Days of Christmas is he working with?!
Yep. It’s shady. And no it’s not that she has friends of the opposite sex. Plenty of people do. But I don’t know about others but if I’m with someone it’s because I enjoy their company and want to be with them. Most couples tend to socialise together. At least in my circle of friends. Sure there’s the odd occasion or events where only one of the couple attends alone, but by and large that should be the exception, not the norm.
If your SO is going out regularly without you, with other males, single or otherwise then you’ve got to wonder. Add to that, that she dismisses/ignores his concerns and OP’s wife’s actions are suspect at the very least.
How do you know he won’t?
LPT: don’t date misogynists.
If you're still interested in getting to know her and possibly pursuing a relationship, it might be worth reaching out to her and seeing if she's available for a date. You could simply send a message saying something like, “Hey, I know we haven't been able to coordinate a date yet due to some unforeseen circumstances, but I'm still interested in getting to know you. Are you available to meet up sometime in the next week or so?”
I think a lot of commenters are being unfair to OP by characterizing him as a predator for dating an 18 year old at 23. If anything is weird it’s how bent out of shape ya’ll get over adult women being able to have consensual adult relationships.
I can definitely see how you got the impression he liked you. he was sending out everything but smoke signals. It's a good thing, though he came clean, he could have taken advantage of the fact and ended up sleeping with you. You need to tell him he needs to not be so flirty if he's only friends with somebody. You don't hold their hand and invite them out constantly. nothing wrong with saying hey wow that's really nice dress or something like that, but if he's constantly complimenting you and giving you little gifts yeah you can think hey this guy likes me. So you did nothing wrong. you can retreat and just give yourself some distance for a little while. But you definitely need to let him know he's got to take it back a few notches if you're only friends.
You sound like a real winner. Where do I sign up?
Have you tried using a squirt bottle?
That's what I got him to see it's equal between us or it won't work out. I asked h this morning to do something he'd have to compromise to do and he flat out said no. So now I won't be doing anything till I get the compromise. I need to hear.
I don’t personally believe what the original commenter was implying, so I was asking them if that’s really what they meant by saying by “only drink with female friends” and trying to challenge that sentiment. I understand your concern though.
I just want to be at peace. This has been eating me up for years i tried to look past everything and be father but i can't anymore. I keep feeling a pit in my stomach being around him.
Was she ever consulted about the price of the second home? Can she afford it?
Your arrangement, unless made legally binding, is worth nothing. She owns her house and you own yours. You pay rent to her and now she shall to you. Based on how you describe her, you two won't get married. Adjust to that. Charge her fair rent.
Her spending was on once in a lifetime things – a tattoo that stays on your body forever and graduation gift. Should I even ask what have you given her for graduation? Regardless, from a legal perspective, she'd be paying towards your mortgage with no claim for equity. It doesn't sound like you consulted her about the purchase, she may not be able to afford it and perhaps she does anticipate that the two of you will not last together.
No need to feel salty about paying 50% of her expenses when living for 600 bucks. Totally different money. Likely still a deal on your end.
That might logically happen. But unless it’s blatantly obvious that he’s “old” (I’m 36 lol so this is sort of funny to me), there’s no reason for it to come up in conversation early on.
Age isn’t usually an initial question from parents. So he’d be meeting them before it comes up.
You sound very divorced. Like the most divorced person on Reddit. Lol.
Engagement really doesn’t mean a whole lot.
You can be engaged for years and years of finances don’t pan out.
You don’t even need an expensive ring to be engaged. You can always upgrade, or re propose with a better ring down the line.
All engagement is, is a further commitment to exclusivity. Nothing means anything until it’s legal.
I made an edit explaining!
Thank you for the advice.. I have a lot to think on. I think I will delete my post as ultimately I need to make this decision for myself and should have a few conversations with my bf before I even make this decision. Thanks again 🙂
What you feel is that Essentially he is not ‘getting you’. This is one of your biggest values and biggest priorities – to have your partner not understand…. I dunno it’s more than frustrating. I also dated someone like this. I’m still unsure about the damage it caused me
Just ask you boyfriend to be direct and ask him if partners are invited.
He may be like ‘well of course!’
He may have only addressed your partner as he’s a fellow guy, but he’s assuming you know you’re invited too. This kind of thing happens sometimes, it’s not because the guy doesn’t like you, it’s possible he was just making more of an effort with your bf as he’s a fellow male. Maybe all this guys closest buddies are male for instance.
Virginia would like a word.
This daft habit of not telling the people who you want advice from.
We don't know her own morals and therefore what level the offence could be. We honestly have no clue.
Nobody can really give genuine advice unless they know what it is.
I always think these posts are fake. Becuse why omit it? What reason or benefit is there. Doesn't seem like they really want advice.
We are definitely talking soon and will share how she could have better supported me, but I would also want to know how affected she was by the whole situation. I just assumed because she wasn't close to my mom that the effect was minimal especially that I wasn't sad and crying around her.
Tell your boyfriend, I would either cut contact with her or go very low contact from now on, she let herself get feelings for someone she can never have this is on her, I'd also tell my boyfriend say she admitted it and think subsequently he should let her know they will never happen with or without you around, it's not being mean I think if he let's her know he ain't interested never will be yada yada will help her move forward, but even then I'd keep my distance.
I know, it's just difficult for me to really accept I guess. I never really thought I would find myself on the opposite side of all these stories I hear about relationships.
I just really love him and we agree on a lot of other things…except for this. And I'm just mad at myself I guess for thinking I could be happy for even a moment in my life
Your ex wife sounds like a nightmare. Not only is she a catastrophic attention w-word, but she's also incredibly dense and equates a man putting a tattoo on himself to women's rights. I would be praising god daily for the fact that he removed that evil spirit out of my life
I see everyone telling me that she’s using me and i know there’s a chance you guys are right. But i’ve known this girl for a long time and i’ve also done some messed up stuff to her. To me it seems like she found someone who actually made her happy, happier than I did but is willing to throw that away to give me another chance. She’s acknowledged how much she’s fucked up by lying and that she knows she doesn’t deserve me at times. She’s also been honest about how she does really like him and doesn’t want to commit to another relationship just for things to be good for a little and then we go back to shit but i genuinely believe i’m actually putting my all into this, this time. I’m definitely scared to just say goodbye considering she was my first everything and i believe i ruined the relationship.
I assume you are both working full time? What is the current split of chores?
This is what you want for the rest of your life? THIS? You only live! once and you want to feel this way forever? Until you die?
I've read your comments. GET OUT NOW WHILE YOU STILL CAN.
I agree and honestly I felt as if the prerequisite for being “official” is more of a deflection for him not to be tied down yet. Especially since we are in college. At least that’s how I took it. And on the kiss I didn’t exactly give signals or so I thought and I didn’t kiss him back but I didn’t exactly stop it either. I had just met the guy who kissed me that day and that’s why I feel so guilty. It’s like I threw something meaningful to me away for something that meant nothing. I don’t consider it cheating since we are “together” but I just don’t know how he feels about what we are doing. Also I have conspired in the past that he is with other people too.
Nope. We are just seeing each other casually, so I don’t mind him talking about other women, but going on about my best friend very hot after I had just told him she’s the only one that weirdly enough gets me jealous made me really.. sad
Oh you’re definitely not wrong, he sucks. And sure if the friend is someone you trust, I think that’s alright. It’s very hot because you don’t want to be in a position where you wished you should have said something and didn’t. You’ve done your part already if that’s what you’re worried about. But you’re def not overreacting, I don’t even know the girl and I want them to break up.
I'm sure she was just talking trash. She chose to have 3 kids with you dude, she probably likes you.
Wasn't she like this when you met her?
You have to find yourself someone else, you are not in a position to interfere in her life
If you need to change people, you have to change yourself.
What should you do?
Date someone local I real life because long distance is pointless.
Date someone who is grown up enough to understand that when you’re at work, you’re there to do a job. Your boss won’t expect you to be on the phone for the whole shift.
Basically don’t date a student with no sense of reality.
You and your boyfriend should have a beautiful, private engagement. You’re nearly 30. Your mom needs to accept that you’re a grown woman and no one is going to ask her for anything anymore.
Pretty shit. I'm struggling to reconcile the person I thought she was with the person she might be.
Oh my god. Like, no offense, but come on !!!!!!!
“Ever since then I find my self fantasizing at least once a day about leaving”
Leave!!!
Longtime college instructor here.
Don't forget that you really hold the power in this situation, and it's important you maintain that power. This means not surrendering it to some other authority. For instance, I worked with a teacher in a similar situation–in that case, three boys flirting with her during class–and she called campus security to have them removed. Of course, there was no recovering her class, and another teacher had to take it over.
Standing too close? You can tell people where to stand, or to sit, or whatever.
Asking the same question? Say, “Hey, you keep asking me the same question. I need to you write down the answer to every question I answer for you. If you need accommodation of any sort, I can direct you to those resources. Reanswering the same question is not a good use of either of our time, so you need to figure out how to be more proactive about learning this without my constant involvement.”
Staring? ehhh… nothing you can really do about that. The armor you put on when you enter the classroom will grow with experience so that you can comfortably ignore it.
Good luck!
She's literally taking you for granted pal and you're letting her. Break up with her, she offers you nothing.
Most of your removed details were about your girlfriends mental health which really just paints her in a poor enough light for any of this to seem justified. You both need therapy.