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Date: October 16, 2022
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Thanks. I think what’s holding me back is what other people will think and I hate that I even care.
Both of you are drama queens ☠️
Do you really want to be with somebody who claims that “activities with you around aren't fun”?
Lol just the way you worried this makes me think he’s right and has been slighted so many times but keeps quite becoming he doesn’t wanna with the arguments
the problem is he barely pays attention to me as it is
You have bigger problems than him wanting to sleep with other people that should be addressed well, well in advance of this – though it's only a symptom of the wider problem.
We do have set boundaries, but I still don’t feel okay with it and I don’t want to give Alyssa any ammo (she most definitely has feelings for Josh)
So hang on – Josh has spoken to her, has feelings for him and he is the one talking about sleeping with other people? You can see how this is looking, right?
so how do I tell him that I don’t think it’s a good idea without it being able to be twisted to sound like I’m the crazy insecure girlfriend?
You tell him – “Josh, neither of us sleeping with anyone else, kissing anyone else, holding hands with anyone else, period. You want to do these things, we are done, you can go do whatever you like then”.
But being real here? You shouldn't need to say this anyway – you aren't crazy, insecure or otherwise because couples don't sleep with other people unless they both discuss it in detail and both agree to go ahead with it.
I would be 100% clear with him, like goddamn purest crystal glass, that this isn't happening. If he isn't already aware, make him that Alyssa clearly has feelings for him and there is an absolute need for him to be on the understanding that they aren't sleeping together unless you and he aren't together and you aren't alright with any extra-relational intimacy or otherwise.
You both need to get your relationship sorted and straight – have date nights, speak with each other, have quality time and acts of service, understand each others needs/wants and y'know actually be in a happy relationship and wherever it is that you feel he's lacking, work on it together.
Maybe talk about your relationship and how you feel she treats you differently? And about sex. I might be completely off base but maybe her family gave her an inaccurate idea of you/men?