![](/cs/camsoda2500.jpg")
0 views
Press right there to start video or
Room for live! sex video chat rileyleee
Model from: ca
Languages: en,es,fr
Birth Date: 1995-08-30
Body Type: bodyTypeAthletic
Ethnicity: ethnicityWhite
Hair color: hairColorBlonde
Eyes color: eyeColorBlue
Subculture: subcultureRomantic
Date: October 10, 2022
If you stay, you will be forever resentful. Also, that answer is kind of disrespectful.
The thing is, it's not your responsibility to prevent your husband finding out about the shitty things his parents say, it's actually his right to know imo.
Personally I would say to him in the most diplomatic way (so that no one can say that no one can call you controlling or a bitch): “Hey Husband, I know we have family time coming soon but I request not to go to your family as I can't bear to see them after what I heard, but that's not to say that you can't go or I would have an issue with you going solo. I overheard in the toilet that Mother said to xyz that 'I'm just saying if (husband) could be free of that vegetable, I could have grandkids' and it would make me uncomfortable having to look at her this holiday period”
Good luck.
Being the best partner you can be means wanting the best for each of you. That means being open to the possibility that you stop seeing each other at least romantically and let each other explore life separately. That’s particularly the case at your stage of life, being so young and not having made a lifelong commitment. It’s different when you have established yourselves and have committed to each other. But even then there’s a difference between working on the relationship vs letting go if you’ve just become incompatible and are meant to separate.
He video taped it. What the absolute hell. I'm just lost for words
Legality is irrelevant when it comes to child support, though. He’ll still be landed with that until the child’s 18.
Legality is irrelevant when it comes to child support, though. He’ll still be landed with that until the child’s 18.
Reading your comments you need to end your relationship with her.
Her cheating was the full thing, not an emotional affair, but full on sex with a stranger.
She blames being drunk, sorry but that is bull shit, alcohol removes some boundaries, it doesn’t make you do something that you don’t want to do. So she wanted to fuck the guy, and did it.
Couples counselling is for when there is a problem in the relationship, not a problem with a persons lack of respect and morals.
While you might be able to work through this, and have a semi normal relationship with her going forward, she will never be able to rebuild the trust and respect she has destroyed, and you will always be looking at her actions to see if she’s cheating again, causing you and her problems for ever regardless of if she actually does anything wrong or not in the future.
So additional hurt now, or rehashing the hurt later or damaging your relationship to the extent that you are the problem because of the lack of trust.
I think we all wondering about that age gap.
I gave him an ultimatum during the middle of our relationship about how if he ever watched it, I'd break up with him.
All this means you are breaking up with him right?
Or you are going to realize that maybe he doesn't have a porn addiction and that he is just curiously watching porn here and there and maybe it didn't heavy to affect the relationship?
Well good luck. I'm too old to deal either petty nonsense and gossip
After we became an item. Before he was still in the process of opening his clubs and getting his business off the ground
This can't be real life
That makes sense. That explains the lack of details. The user knows the details give people away. This person must have experience submitting fake post.
I've always wondered why people write fake post. What's in it for them? Is their life so sad and pathetic that they need to get attention from strangers? Even the fake post submitted to piss people off are sad. Those people seem to enjoy getting a reaction from people. They don't realize that only people that behave that way are people that feel completely powerless and insignificant in real life.
“Hey, I don’t mean to upset you but I don’t think I’ll ever be attracted to any women. I do have a boyfriend and when you’re ready I’d love for you to meet him as he’s an important person in my life. Please let me know when you’re ready.”
Dont tell her. I wouldn't mind knowing, but she sounds sensitive about that subject, so she may feel insecure. Just tell her you normally have worked out and that's part of the results. Don't tell her you worked out specifically to achieve this.
u/Dionaea-muscipula23, it looks like you're trying to post a throwaway submission. Your account is too young and/or your comment karma is too low.
The right way to do it is to create a brand new Reddit account that begins with ThrowRA.
Please create a new account that starts with ThrowRA in the username and try again. Please note that we will not make exceptions to this rule.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Omg he is a creep. Break up with him. You deserve better.
it'll take time to get used to more English but it can happen, so in the meantime, just keep on steady with your relationship.
You have a girlfriend… but think it’s bad she has feelings for you… like a girlfriend would… ?
Your boyfriend is not attracted to you, and it’s ridiculous to change your personality in order for him to want to have sex with you. I hope when you read this you realize how very weird it sounds (and is).
A partner should be attracted to your personality, of course some habits can change but not personality traits because he doesn’t like them.
She's paying rent with savings and her mom says she at most has a few months left assuming no crazy costs spring up
Same. And I’m thoroughly vested in my awesome friends finding awesome partners and making our group – you guessed it – even more awesome. If I had lingering issues with someone that weren’t resolved (like OP’s “friend,” though that isn’t my style) I’d want to clear the air before meeting the partner so I could be authentic. OP’s friend let this fester a long time. That can’t be good for their friendship, either, can it?!
Get custody and then deck the ex in her mouth
Hello /u/missrandomuser,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles use the following formatting:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
preferably after something says something helpful, unlike you
I send you so much love and positivity as well. Losing your mother is one of the unimaginably hardest things anybody can go through, especially to an uncontrollable terminal illness, it is so so scary. I truly wish you all the best as well ❤️?
You are being extremely ableist and assuming you had no clue he had NPD until he revealed it to you, it sounds like he has genuinely tried to not display narcissistic behavior and is trying to better himself despite the disorder. I know one cannot judge an entire relationship from a single post, but you have not given any example of harmful behavior from him prior to the revelation so I cannot help but assume you are demonizing him over a disorder he had no say in from the moment he was born, especially since you keep falsely stating that he is incapable of loving others.
Re-analyze how you treat people with mental health disorders, because this is not how to treat ANYONE. Also to say you'd be happier had he have some other debilitating disorder such as schizophrenia or bipolar goes to show you don't understand disorders at all.
The real monster is you for wanting to rip his children away from him because of his NPD.
So I do see this as a prejudiced response. Why is he drawing out Jacon's gender identity and the sexuality he assumes Jacob has (being trans and being gay are not the same thing). He is assuming that the results are due to a political statement.
I'd be very disappointed if someone in my life sent a text like that and I'd want to talk to them about it. You say in your comments he's not an ally (clearly) and does nothing to support LGBT people. For me, this would be an opportunity to talk to him and understand his view and hopefully help him understand the effects of his words and attitudes
After that “A woman says when sex will happen…” bullshit I would have just dumped her… She is mad dude…
IMO there is no chance for an LDR to succeed if you dont have a concrete timeline to close the distance, that works for both people. On top of that you absolutely need to have good communication, cuz its the only thing you have while being apart. If hes not on the same page as you about the future you might wanna consider moving on.
This is abuse.
He's an ex… and it's hot to say what is going on in his head.. My guess is he doesn't want to be committed to you, but when you're together, he gets caught up in the moment. Sorry 🙁
Hello /u/sassy_tin_foil_hat,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I’d break up with him for that double standard alone. Nope, girl. And you cannot continue in a healthy way with someone who cheats and also is not sorry. I know it’s hot, I’ve been there. But you have to put you first.
Thank you so much. That’s the thing, I’ll be civil with her, I’ll even be friendly, but it is making me so mad at him that he cannot see that it’s weird and wrong that he enables them by pretending everything’s perfect. They continue to be shitty to him and preach how perfect they are and he’s happy going along with it. He’s told me stories of his life and I’m appalled at how they’ve treated him sometimes but they think they’re perfect because my fiancé has never ever said a word. This spineless behaviour is a big issue to me, and he says it’s called keeping the peace
Honestly, yes. If he was sending those type messages then most likely she was too. He had every intention on seeing how far he could take it. As for “feeling wanted” if he didnt feel wanted he should have talked to u, not done what he was going to do b4 side chick tried to extort him.
It’s not worth staying with someone just because you’ve spent years with them. You didn’t waste those years. You grew during them and learned life lessons that you may not have learned otherwise. The real question is how many more years do you want to spend on a person that may do this again.
I mean honestly I’ve had several roommates and I never lived with them for longer than a year so the fact y’all have been going strong for 6ish years why would you threaten a healthy roommate situation by adding a pet she doesn’t want? I love animals, got a puppy for my son and he has wrecked my yard and my carpets it’s extremely frustrating at times. This is my last pet living with me because I work so damn hot for the shit I have and I hate seeing it ruined so quickly. My cleaning game tripled everyday since having a pet. Love my dog and will never get rid of him but lesson learned, gotta think of your roommate’s perspective.
Consider this
Your stomach hurts, you can't sleep, your lower back is just killing you. Really complain about that for a day. The next day, bring it up a notch, headaches and irretability. Day three, you noticed blood in your pee. Freak out and go stay at your families. If he gets it too, exclaim you have your period and then promptly break up.
He hates going, but he does love his family.
Your gf is a real one, don't let her go. But always remember that you are a dad with a girlfriend now, not a father with a convenient nanny. Good when the woman you aren't dating for a year is helping with the child, but she is not the mother.
Hello /u/AlexisStormborn,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She doesnt have secret bank accounts, but we dont have any joint accounts so it wouldnt be a need exactly. I dont believe in joint accounts, think its pretty stupid
Hello /u/throwra47383926,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Her response was that each ring became one earring because she wasn’t going to give my sister an engagement ring or just one earring.
And yet, your mom didn't have to give her earrings. She could have made one of the rings into a nice pendant on a nice necklace and still kept the ring she had promised you without breaking her promise.
Your mom is thoughtless and her excuses do not even pass a sniff test. I hope you have the opportunity to tell her so. I hope you keep maintaining the boundaries you've put in place given her obviously favoring your sister.
Hello /u/Acolyte__,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Girl, just stop. A burden? Just get over your shit.
Hello /u/Odd_Iron_8155,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I also have reason to believe their spouses do not know of him, as these two females conveniently don’t talk to him when their husbands are around and he’s even told me that.
Won't get married too young. Around 30 ig.
Hello /u/sugxmoon_,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Sleepy_cat-,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Lol… OK I feel a bit better, will say time and place though dude!
No? Brag about what? I said I’ve been in their shoes with feeling self conscious when I was 98 and sickly looking but I never projected that onto anyone or made them feel bad for looking amazing in bikinis.
I just forced myself to eat a lot, which usually ended with me crying in discomfort and trying not to vomit but I did it.
Wooden spatula and slap that bad boy when it rears its head. Or just be flattered and happy your bf is that into you.
If someone doesn’t make you feel good the majority of the time, the relationship is going downhill. He’s getting off on making you miserable. He knows you can’t change your past, which doesn’t even sound that dark. Even if he had a pure virgin who’d never seen a man before, he would find an issue with her.
Spare yourself the misery. “Since you can’t get over my “past,” it doesn’t seem we have a future together.” And get out.
Yeah I know , I love him unfortunately and am willing to do anything for him
I think you made this up.
You lied to him. You didn't want his feelings hurt but you lied. Then you told him you want to use a toy because he doesn't make you finish.
I can totally understand why he's pissed off and I think a lot of men can agree. If my girlfriend had fake Orgasms and then told me one day “You've never made me cum so I need to use a toy” I would feel horrible.
If you told him that it's very hot to finish during sex and using a toy would help then it would be a different story, but you lied to him and probably faked orgasms as well which is very hurtful.
You should really try apologizing in hopes that your relationship can come back from this.
That's just fine, I guess it's always best to be comfortable sleeping alone first. So maybe start there, happy being alone and comfortable and caring for your own boundaries.
LOLLLL sry dude, leave this girl. Hygeine is non negotiable
At the end of the day you have to do what's best for you, mentally, financially etc etc. You could try long distance if you really wanted to stay together but ultimately if you're wanting to move home and get into working in your field but decide to stay where you are you may end up resentful if nothing changes. Go where your heart is, despite how hard it may be.
Girl.. that man raped you. He tried to have sex with you in your sleep.. in your sleep??? And it was very obviously not consented in advance.
I highly recommend you leave him. He has proven he has no care for you. All he sees you as is a baby making machine and he wants to use you however he wants. PLEASE do not let this man get your pregnant. That poor baby would absolutely not deserve this. Don't do this to yourself. And please do not ruin a poor child's life with that man.
Jesus fucking Christ, every weekend? When does your wife ever get to see her family? When do you spend time together as a couple?
Also, the hilarity here. So just to recap: Your family raised you to hide your emotions, have no empathy for anyone else, have insanely misogynistic and warped ideas about emotions, and not understand hyperbole and other basic communication. Your dad straight up manipulated you against your mom when you were a child by talking to you about their arguments. You are now taking your resulting mommy issues out on your wife. You may have effectively killed your marriage over it. And you’re still prioritizing pleasing mommy and daddy over fixing your marriage?
Cut the damn cord and go to therapy, dude. Stop visiting every weekend and redirect that time and energy into fixing your marriage! Or just don’t tell your parents about going to therapy, if you can’t stomach not visiting once a week.
He is a rapist.
Simple as that.
Because I am a self-conscious idiot, obviously.
We eat fairly healthy at meal times. He snacks. A lot. And gets super defensive if I try to say anything about it. ?
“Unfair” in an interesting word choice.
Hello /u/anonymousloserman,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Excellent-Case-5706,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yeah the overthinking is kinda getting to me. I played it off saying I was just tired she knew I had sport earlier that day and she let it go and didnt say much about it. But you’re right I need to not overthink it.
I do have bpd so I'm aware that I do have attachment issues, I'm working on it with my therapist and hopefully I can form deeper meaningful relationships with future partners that don't stem from attachment
19 years old and dating for 6 years… it might be a good thing for you both to branch out a bit and try some new experiences with some new people.
Drop this friend like a garden tool she is, if she makes you feel like crap after talking to her, you gotta cut her off.
Talk to him. Tell him it's important to you to do plans together on new years
Your GF is abusive, leave her
Hello /u/Sanaekaaaa,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
That sounds a bit like my ex. Notice the part where I mentioned “ex”
Wow what a crazy family your boyfriend has, his mother is unbelievably manipulative and subtly hostile to you. I don't blame you one bit for blowing your top with his mother.
That's ridiculous how she gives you back a gift you gave her and its downright insulting to treat you like a afterthought when you're over for dinner, having this happen multiple times in your case is a farce.
If my son brought his girlfriend for dinner I'd be the one having leftovers or a sandwich or something else, I certainly wouldn't insult my son's girlfriend, I'd treat her like a proper guest and give her my dinner.
It sounds like a family with tons of major baggage and your boyfriend should be strong enough to call out his mother, especially after the incredibly insulting re gift she gave you.
I don't even know how your boyfriend can be normal and be related to that screwed up family. Your boyfriend may be a nice guy, but be very careful he doesn't have any of his families characteristics.
I had similar but different challenges with my in laws. I keep my distance from them most of the time and always let my wife be the go between with my in laws, so I never have to bring up issues or problems directly with them, it works ok. Mind you they haven't done the immature ridiculous things your boyfriends family has done. I know my wife is on my side and has been for 25 years.
That's the big thing to be sure of, If you decide to continue with your boyfriend is that he's is going to hang tough with you and call out this nonsense behaviour and tell his mother he's not going to put up with it. Give it time to make sure he's not going to wither under pressure from his family.
UpdateMe!
Leave. It’s perfectly right to have a boundary like that when you have a medical condition like you do.
His inability to grasp the seriousness of the situation is proof he doesn’t actually care for you.
Hello /u/Raindoclive,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Ah, the old “sex could be better and I know what I like so let's practice less and not talk about it.”
Works every time. It sounds like having a mutually satisfying sex life is a need for you. She appears happy getting everything else. My guess is that leaves you feeling used- like she enjoys her quality of life and status due to dating you (“out of her league”) but isn't into you, per se.
Be honest with her that you want to improve your sex life together. If she basically tells you she doesn't care how good or bad you are as long as you pay the rent and look good on IG, then feel free to break up. Not addressing this will not help, and not addressing issues is a totally legit reason to leave.
Get better. Put effort in. Listen to her. Dont expect sex from her all the time. Sometimes its ok to just cuddle and make out, and not going further. Take a step back and observe whether youre a good partner at all. Women loose sexual attraction for many reasons and a lot of them seemingly have nothing to do with sex itself. When i felt disrespected or ignored in a relationship, when i felt like i was doing most of the house chores etc i stopped wanting sex with my ex. It felt like another chore.
Hello /u/ThrowRAjanweneb,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Exactly. People very rarely end up with the best fuck they ever had. Surprisingly it is not always down to the person. There's current emotions location level of experience etc etc etc. Your goal should be to take her places she has never been. It can be difficult if she's had plenty of opportunities prior
You were his bit on the side.
He never had any intentions of splitting with her.
They are currently working things out.
He will not come back to you.
Learn from this. Don’t date older men because they can sweet talk you into being the side piece due to your naivety.
I’ve also done mdma lots of times and it has literally never made me feel uncontrollably aroused. That might be a you problem if you can’t control yourself on drugs.
The reason it’s called the “love drug” is because it increases the amount of oxytocin your brain, which is the chemical released when feeling love/affection towards something. Towards literally anything. Your mom, your bf, your dog, your child. A plate of spaghetti. It’s the chemical that’s released when you feel good. And it can INCREASE pleasure bc of chemical release during sex, it doesn’t cause sexual arousal.
…I feel like the fact that this is upsetting you so much and he’s not willing to end it fit you is a bad sign…does not bode well for a future marriage, sorry to say.
Have you discussed this with him calmly and told him that it’s making you consider leaving the relationship? You don’t have to threaten him, just be honest and forthcoming…hopefully he realizes how dumb he’s being and puts you first..
Hello /u/Heavy-Put-8052,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/TheBigStepper1212,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
This relationship feels zo bizarrely unequal and disrespectful towards you. I'm so sorry OP.
So she should just agree to have sex with him knowing she doesn't want to? Wtf.
Uh…some dude you've probably only met a few times doesn't get a say in your career.
Thank you so much
Birth control – not weird just because it is supposed to be taken at the same time every day, and I’ve known some women who are very careful about it and make sure they take it at the exact same time every day.
Good morning texts – not necessarily weird if it’s just one a day – I had a great first date with a guy years ago that was right before my law school finals started and I had no time to do anything. He sent me a text each day to say good morning and wish me luck, and I think it was just to emphasize that he was still interested, since sometimes when you have a great first date and then silence afterwards it can lead to second-guessing. The single text was a nice reminder.
Everything else – no that’s too much. Long conversations if they were going well naturally maybe, but it doesn’t sound like they were. The song thing is ? – that would be a big turn-off to me. I think you’d be totally justified in calling it off.
He probably won’t change.
But the behavior definitely can change. However, the desire to change has to come from the person needing change. It’s no different than addiction issues – if the reason for change is “my girlfriend wants me to stop drinking,” they’ll stop drinking for a bit, and then go right back to old business.
This guy can change. He just has no reason or desire to change.
Hello /u/Elastic_squirel0,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Because OP hasn't realised that they have grown into incompatible people and also because he believes that since he has made so many sacrifices she should be obligated to do the same.
so leave and when he pulls that shit tell him “okay just make sure to leave me your last will and testament so I know what you want in terms of funeral arrangements.” Show him that his emotional abuse tactics aren't going to work on you and watch how fast he goes from. “boo hoo poor me, I'm going to off myself.” to calling you every derogatory name under the sun.
Yes. Putting someone through that level of repeated emotional stress is not healthy or normal.
Thank you for taking the time to reply! I realise that if you enter a relationship you can still be attracted to other people. But, I would never even think of looking at others while I’m out with him. All eyes are on him. (Which is why it would bother me if he would look, am I not good-looking enough for him to only keep his eyes on me? Just like I do?) Are these expectations reasonable? I often hear that men are more visual creatures than women.
Hello /u/Fantastic-Ad4906,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I don't recommend taking back a cheater, but this looks like it genuinely was a one-time thing, she's truly remorseful, and she came clean. This is one of those rare cases where it's recoverable.
If you want to work it out, there have to be consequences and rules.
No more solo travel for her Write a “no contact” letter to the other man, then stick to it. Under no circumstances is she to so much as respond to a text from him, not even to respond to his response to the letter. The slightest breach is an instant relationship-ender. To that end, complete access to all her means of communication until such time as you feel you can trust her again. No more drinking. Couple's therapy.
But consider: it looks like she cheated on you on the very first opportunity she had. And drunkenness is no excuse; even hammered, your instincts should be not to cheat.
I agree
Actually it's a bit different. She'd be on the financial support hook for 10 years AFTER he gets his green card or until he becomes US citizen (which he'd be eligible 3 years after receiving a green card). However she's also show proof that she can be a sponsor – she needs to make over 125% poverty line to sponsor someone for a green card.
You can love someone while also recognizing that, for whatever reason, things aren't working. You can also love someone else, and yourself, enough to know when it's time to walk away.
Feeling hurt/grief is also normal. You love her, you had lots of experiences, and lots of different feelings, so nobody else gets to dictate what you feel, or for how long you feel it. Each relationship is different. A relationship that lasted a month may hurt for a long time, and one that lasted years may hurt for a short time.
Whatever you feel is based on your experiences with her, coping skills, your perspectives, and a million things. Whatever it is, you feel it – that makes it valid.
Don't diagnose yourself, and don't call yourself narcissistic – especially based on the internet's logic. People throw that word around more often than they change their underwear. It's annoying. (And most people are wrong!)
It's hot walking away when you don't want to, and it's very hot to essentially re-build your life. Acknowledging that is OK!
Situational depression is a real thing. Try to find a hobby, things you like to do, places you can explore.. Whatever keeps you occupied.
Good luck! ❤️
Just tell her that she's not enough for you sexually and you'd like to bring another girl into the bedroom that will hopefully make up for what she lacks.
it just really bothers me knowing he has to stay in contact and have some sort of relationship with a girl he slept with
If it bothers you now before she even has the baby, I imagine it's not going to be any better having to deal with it for the next 18 years.
Be civil but distant.
This isn't the first time he hasn't text me. He did eventually and he apologized for doing so. So lets say I move on and have a fwb with another guy. What happens if this guy comes back and wants to see me again? This is something that seems to happen with me. I was fwb with another guy and a year later he came back wanting to meet up with me again. I didn't meet up with him again. And then when I wanted to see him again he wouldn't meet me.
That is a good reply, thank you
You don't need closure from a pedophile. Move on.
Basically he implied with increasing firmness over the course of several conversations that my “aversion to sex was abnormal and concerning”.
As his mentions of this evolved and the firmness increased, he also included mention of things like how this was indicative that I would benefit from inpatient therapy.
I don’t want to get into my background or his background/connections/credentials, but, eventually I gave in because I know those details and I was afraid I was at risk of finding myself in a Britney Spears-esque situation.
Now, I feel sick about it because I feel like he preyed on me and I see that I could have protected myself by speaking up.
I’m also realizing now the extent to which he manipulated me. Ex: when he first kissed me, I was thinking “oh no, what just happened?” he said “I was hopeful you’d consent to me kissing you and I’m glad to see you consented to me kissing you consensually.”
At the time, I thought that was a strange thing to say. But he kept saying “consent” and telling me that I was “consenting” to him over and over and over again in this weird, overkill sort of way.
Since I broke away from him, I’ve learned there is a manipulation tactic called the illusory truth effect. Basically it works by repeating something over and over again so that a person convinces themself that it’s true.
You’re just not a good boyfriend. That’s what it is I’m surprised you need a bunch of strangers on the internet to tell you that. You don’t respect her time, you don’t respect the plans you’ve made with her, you don’t respect the sacrifices she (for some reason) has made for you. If your gf was posting this here everyone would be telling her to leave this absolute dumpster fire of a relationship. This is just sad for her I hope her self esteem improves and she leaves you
Of course it’s an issue now—she has someone getting her off whenever SHE wants and doesn’t have to do anything in return. Now she’s on someone else’s schedule so she’s losing her mind. Ugh.
you may end your relationship for any reason at all. He want something else with his body than you like, and that's enough
Hello /u/thejorisbohnson,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yup! He wanted this and was looking for a reason. Cheating is bad enough but the way he did it by leaving his kid with her and creating an argument to feel better about his actions is pathetic.
It sounds like he has either unresolved issues from his previous relationships or something else going on and needs counseling. He's not in touch with his deeper emotions or he's ignoring them on purpose so he doesn't have to confront them and do anything about them. Either way OP is better off leaving. I can't see any way of moving forward with her always in his life. Trust can't be repaired because he can't cut off his ex due to his child.
Just gets progressively worse?
Cause in my house with my siblings you’d get everyone else’s name but your own because that’s how it was. I just thought it was that and dipped and went home
Alright you kinda sound like you enjoy or are trying to get a rise out of him by taunting him with your past partners. You're in a relationship what is the necessity here that requires you to hang out with your exes?
Hello /u/ThrowRA346246345,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/ThrowRA-Jamesbrown1,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/BreRiff,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
people have different views sex. Some view it as an extremely intimate thing to do with someone and should only be done with people with deep emotional connections with. Other people view it more casually and can separate the emotions from the act. So some people care as they don’t want to be with someone who views it more casually (someone who typically has a higher number of partners).
She'll get over it. You did nothing wrong.
Carpe diem. Enjoy the day – old Roman proverb.
Rather then to to fear a brake up enjoy every day as much as you can. Be the best boyfriend.
Maybe she will change her mind and keep you long term – but do not calculate with it. Accept that you will break up – but ensure that your time together is something to remember.
She is with you now – why suffer for a future you do not if and when comes.
Wow. You really don’t get it. The amount of thought and consideration between an adult making a blanket and a child making a gift are probably the same. It doesn’t matter how long it takes. If someone pours their love and heart into a handmade gift they’re proud to give you because they genuinely thought you’d love it and then you say it’s inconvenient because your place is small and it’s just not right for you, well, if someone did that to me it would be incredibly hurtful. I’d NEVER do that. It’s just not kind. There are gracious ways to handle situations. This certainly isn’t it. But to be honest, a kid making a macaroni necklace and running home to give it as a gift probably put more love and consideration and thought into that than any gift I’ve given as an adult.
I’ll leave you with this. My son picked out a frog figurine for me on my birthday when he was about 4/5 years old. It’s cheap, I don’t collect frogs, and I wasn’t sure where I’d put it at first. But I made space for it on my desk at work, then when I switched jobs I brought it home and I’ve proudly displayed that frog on my dresser or nightstand for about 10 years now. It’s literally one of my most prized possessions. I still don’t collect frogs, it wasn’t ever all that convenient to keep packing up and moving, but I have done it numerous times through the years and if my home was burning that would be one of the few physical possessions I’d try to grab and save. I’d literally rather lose all of my clothes, furniture, and belongings than lose that frog. I value and treasure things people give proudly and from the heart. It’s about a whole lot more than a blanket here…clearly you don’t get that.
Understatement. He’s probably mad because this isn’t what he thought he’d get from this post.
One of my crazy Ex's was certain I was cheating on her with another ex girlfriend of mine. It was a soul sucking experience. You should run.
(Plot Twist: The ex girlfriend I was supposedly cheating with turned out to be dead.)
Hello /u/Mundane_Tadpole_4850,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
My conscious, rational mind fully agrees with the concept of toxic masculinity as an outdated social phenomenon, and that men can show strength by being vulnerable and in touch with their emotions.
But every once in awhile I see something so cringey and feeble that evolution triggers my subconscious and I feel the urge to cull the weak from the herd so the species can thrive. This is one of those times. Bleeeggghh.
Hello /u/Joyce-miller11,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Definitely a fake post lol
Hello /u/MavarickUK,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Well in short but it's kind of like give up man a fish or teach a man to fish. I'm sure there's other boundaries that are also too porous. But it sounds like you don't restrict enough to get some good quality benefit from your connection.
Over-restricting isn't the solution either. I want to reiterate that. But yes. I mean her behavior does nothing to reinforce the sanctity of your commitment. You have to look at where you react and she reacts. She doesn't react to protect the relationship enough. And I mean I suspect that she's cheated already. At least to the level of emotional affair.
I mean look at this situation. Someone who has the right reactivity understands that this is a situation to navigate with care. Someone with the right reactivity wants to prevent trespassing. They're going to go out of their way to not give the wrong impressions. Because the commitment is sacred. And they're going to want to go out of their way to make sure that you see that they are respecting the sanctity of their commitment.
First of all, this guy is too old to be this childish and all the things you’ve mentioned indicate this to be a terrible relationship. All the negative things he does he cloaks with sweet/innocent excuses so you don’t realise. It’s only been three months. Within a year he could be stopping you from seeing certain friends because he thinks they’re bad for you etc. it’s not a prophecy but it’s something to be wary of.
Second, I’d like to try and raise your spirits by telling you about the time I saw Hugh Jackman IRL. I used to work in a building directly above Leicester Square, London where they host all the UK film premieres. He was there for Eddie the Eagle. I was walking to work having grabbed a quick bite as he was being driven out of the square. We locked eyes through the windscreen just as I was shoving a massive Cornish pasty into my gob. So as it goes, you stand way more of a chance with him than I do.
I sincerely hope you find out what it’s like to be truly loved one day.
THIS!! And I came to the update thinking maybe he had come to his senses, yet he’s simply doubled down!
His mother ruined 2 weddings! Her being disrespectful simply isn’t a big enough deal to him and his family of enablers.
I’m glad his wife realizes she deserves a happy family and in-laws who wouldn’t treat her as these do, and a husband with a spine to be her partner.
Hot tip OP: she wants out of the house deal, SO she can completely disentangle herself from you. She is moving forward with 0 want of reconciliation. She’s said that and MANY other things, OP simply doesn’t care to actually listen.
Both your bf and his brother are creepy. An almost 30-year-old man has no business being with a barely-legal teen (not to mention you weren't legal when you started dating). They're both pervs. Run (from both of them), do some growing up, and don't look back. And please, learn from your mistakes.
Hello /u/Lila2002x,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Beautiful-Card-4458,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She’s probably rich or famous or both. I say keep going.
That doesn't matter. The house is uninhabitable and has been since you were a kid. That's illegal. If she was reported to the housing authority, she'd get in ton of legal trouble and the house would be condemned and your parents would have to move out. Of course this depends on the country you on-line in.
i was thinking the exact same thing. it’s always “you pissed me off so i had to hit you. if you wouldn’t have done x i wouldn’t have hit you.” like you’re adults, take responsibility for your actions! maybe if you’d learn to communicate or actually care about your partner you wouldn’t have hit them in the first place… even if i accidentally hit my partner, i apologize profusely and am more careful.
Hello /u/Actual_Improvement_4,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Annual_Assignment_65,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Offt I'm so daft . I always look for the good in people I need to dump her dont I, I'm happy it weren't much
Rehome the fiancé
Agreed, I just think it’s odd to go from accusing someone of making unwanted sexual advances towards you to groping them in under a minute.
Good for you! You don’t deserve that kind of treatment!
Hello /u/Some-Property-9350,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I hate how people get the most energetic needy breeds of dogs from breeders because they are “so smart and cool” and then disregard their needs like this. There are so many dogs in shelters who would be suitable to OP's needs and put down just because they can't be housed.
Hello /u/xthrowawayx897261,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
To keep it 1000 with you as some stranger that just stumbled across this by chance; you shouldn't. Not because you don't deserve him, but because it sounds like you're developing an unhealthy dependency towards him.
You're 19. He's probably not actually the love of your life. Go and push through the pain and figure out how to make life not-bleak and full of color without a romantic partner at your side. More romance will find you organically, maybe even this one again. Salute to you for being honest though and salute to your mother for encouraging you to be.
She didn't really do many chores at home – neither did I. A lot of it is anxiety based on her end, which I try to be understanding of, whilst also trying to defend myself when I feel I've been treated unfairly (because having anxiety doesn't give someone a free pass).
We've communicated about it a bunch, and we seem to resolve it only for something like this to occur again in couple of weeks.
I've asked her to make more direct requests, as a commenter said below I think for BOTH of us being more direct would've helped here. I feel like if she wants the bowls loaded now, then I'd really rather her say that as opposed to a broad hint that indicates there isn't a preferred time frame, which is pretty much what I ran with.
Sometimes I wake up and do shit that needs doing immediately, sometimes I leave it for a while. I prefer to be 'flexible' in that regard, but yes I do see what you mean.
Thanks for your input!
You need to be able to cook because ordering takeaway everyday isn't healthy. Even those “healthy” take out spots aren't so healthy mate.
If you ever have children you'd need to know how to cook. A child requires a very balanced diet and you won't get that ordering McDonald's.
Take this from a guy who eats more take out than he would like to. Home cooked meals taste better always. I get tired of eating take away. Sometimes I want a giant roast dinner, or a proper home made steak pie. You don't get that with take aways.
But saying all of this. Clearly you have a very well paying job. You handle all of your household expenses solo and sound like you could handle children on that single salary. With this in mind your partner really shouldn't be pushing anything here….
I know many women who would kill for a guy that could provide them this.
Bro.. run. Ditch insecure grandma and on-line love. Your 20s are your best years. Don't waste them on her.
Hello /u/svangen1_,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Winter_Atmosphere19,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Find out a reason, if it isn’t good enough for you or she won’t share you need to decide if this is worth staying in this relationship. May also want to talk options with her as well; will having an open relationship work for you and her? Is she going to be 100% sexually inactive (i.e. are blow jobs and hand jobs off the table) or just penetrative/penis in vagina? What are her expectations?
I just needed somewhere I could talk about it and get it out in the open a little bit and get other peoples perspective on it. I’m not trying to make excuses for him I know it was wrong what he did I’m just saying I’m also part of the problem and was looking for ways to move forward with it. I don’t want to leave him but I have told him if he does anything like it again then I’m leaving with our daughter and that he won’t be allowed to have her alone.
So you are cheating on him but can't breakup. Doesn't this automatically solicit a breakup? Is this fair?
Urgent and emergency aren't the same. I've driven a friend to urgent care before just to get a rash checked out.
Hello /u/Dianasurrealove,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Imagine if you were the one who was sexually assaulted and traumatized beyond words, and your husband went “Oh gee, it'll be awfully inconvenient to condemn the man who did this to you. Tell you what, you decide what to do and get back to me.”
Victims likely feel extremely vulnerable and terrified that no one will believe them. Even by simply being not absolutely outraged for him and passionately devoted to taking down his assaulter, you may be making him feel very unsupported. Express those strong feelings of support and disgust at your “friend” to your husband. Let him know you are on his side and don't care one bit about the inconvenience to you.
We sometimes even have a small burping competition at home. 😀
You already know he cheated, don’t you? It’s just hot to accept so you make excuses.
You’re pregnant with an STD. Get him to test ASAP! Clinics are not all that pain to deal with. They provide services, generally they also don’t turn people away.
Yep. Tryst is hot to earn but can be lost in an instant.
Like when you open your lunch box at work, in front of your co-workers and find what looks like a dirty diaper.
How do you save face at work when your wife did something so mean?
He will lead a life of financial instability with our without you. It's your choice to on-line like that, but he's not going to change, some people are wired to spend.
There's not much difference in the two parties, anyway. Both are right wing with little to no left wing representation. You might bond over how inept both parties are at anything but keeping the status quo continuing.
There's a reason that it is still bothering you, that's your sense of self preservation telling you that you are in danger. You need to take your daughter and get her as far away from that homicidal man as possible!
Hello /u/Appropriate_Swim_853,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I would try proving it to you but if I post a picture of her room I'll get banned
So, because you’re vegan, does that means you think veterinarians shouldn’t have the option of euthanizing a terminally sick and suffering animal? What if you are pregnant and the fetus hasn’t developed a brain? Or if you’re likely going to die or be permanently disabled if you carry the fetus to term? Anti-abortion means you won’t have a choice at all. And being pro-choice doesn’t mean you have to get an abortion, it just means you can choose. If I were you, I would make sure is politically for giving women the right to choose, and that he would just never abort himself (which is a super easy opinion for him to have since he will never be pregnant).
Getting in your own head is the worst thing you can do. Don't stress. Relax. Enjoy the vibes, laugh together, relax together, and if sex is gonna happen it will. If you have erection issues, she will likely appreciate oral attention if you get consent to do that for her. You could even look into generic Viagra if you absolutely need the confidence and performance boost: just take 1/2 the pill.
Your kid deserves the alimony and child support. It is literally the least the man can do after financially abusing you for so long.
Go talk to a lawyer.
Hello /u/gonenow94,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Complete-Lettuce-941,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
That's right, because guns only exist in the US…
I just get grumpy when only one of my middle names are used. It’s either both or none. Mum resorted to first name + 3 initials and surname in most cases.
It’s not unlikely. Stuff like this happens all the time lol
This is his coping mechanism. It's a shitty one, but it's understandable. Gaming is a common compulsion for people who feel like they lack real life achievements or accomplishments, so it's not strange that he's doing this after losing a job.
The issue is that you've communicated your feelings, and he hasn't made a change. I think you need to have one more conversation. Have the number for a therapist ready. If he listens and seeks support, great. If he doesn't, you need to go stay with your parents or some friends.
Didnt really amswer his question though
You are NOT making this too big of a deal, and there is nothing overstated about your situation.
No one deserves this behavior from a partner, OP. If it wasn’t bad enough he ignored your life threatening medical emergency, he now isn’t even decent enough to not go partying and spend time with you.
He doesn’t value you or respect you.
You and your husband have a serious communication problem.
As it seems from your post, you never had a real conversation about both your needs? You were “unenthusiastic” when he mentioned his fantasies years ago and now that he mentioned it again you were quiet to see how far he will take it? You never sat down and said, “that's absolutely not my thing, I don't want to do anything like it”? Your husbands fantasy isn't a bad thing. Some couples might enjoy it. Some not.
That he talked about it outside your marriage without your clear consent is not okay, but neither is you being just passive about it.
You are desperately in need of couples therapy to learn how to communicate with each other.
You need a couples counselor, because I heavily feel like both of you yell out things in the heat of an argument that neither of you mean. This calls for a mediator who can help you communicate your feelings better (and before the boiling point that sparks an argument) in the long run.
I see the point you’re making about how it’s perceived socially with a man vs a woman, however when a woman tries to press charges she runs into a lot of the same problems. There’s a lot of room for improvement for the way it’s handled legally in general
Obviously the age gap is a lot, especially going into it at 18. But it sounds like you guys have tried to keep it healthy and like you genuinely enjoyed being a stay at home parent. Also getting married, adopting the kid, having your bank account. All good steps. So I’m not going to harp on about the ages since there are those 1/10 relationships like that, that do it well. That being said maybe talk about taking a part time job you could work in the morning if most his appointments are after school? They should be after school if he’s having a lot of them. Then you’ll be able to pick him up and run him around as needed. If financially your boyfriend needs no help, maybe you could look into volunteer work? Gives you something to do and you’re helping people. Will still be able to be the primary parent handling those things as well.
She says in other comments that he isn’t “sweet to her” and doesn’t compliment her in everyday life. That’s the problem here.
I fail to see how you can consider someone you’ve met 3 times in 5 years a boyfriend.
Maybe if you guys actually did things together, there’d be something to post about. But you literally do nothing together.
And even if you did, being upset because someone isn’t putting you all over their social media is a pretty immature thing.
The man sexually assaulted your husband. He should count himself lucky if no charges are pressed. I don't understand how you could even question cutting him off. What would you do if it had been a female friend he assaulted.
OP. The time to leave is now. Not when you get a job, not when you have an apartment lined up but right now, like today. Start the new year off in a safe place. He already knows you're trying to put yourself in a position to leave and he's obviously willing to do a whole lot to stop that from happening. Please get out before he hurts you.
“It’s really not like her” – except…yes, it’s exactly like her because she’s been doing it regularly.
Hello /u/TheLegendOfLai,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/coolfoolshool,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Can you give us a link to check out the party? Sounds like great fun!
I would not let anyone treat my CT old like that! I would walk out and divorce him. If you don’t, you are just as bad as him.
He is not a good day if he is breaking her down and sexualizing her!!
His behavior gave me the ick and he would be someone I would put distance between me and my daughter.
If you already told him to stop and he’s insulting you in front of your children he doesn’t respect you and he is an abuser.
LEAVE
What are we doing next?
Tell your boyfriend that you're not going to tell him what he can and cannot do. But this issue has made you realize that you guys are simply incompatible as you have pretty wildly opposed ideas of what's acceptable behavior in a relationship. So you're not telling him he can't go, but if he goes then he's not the guy for you and you realize the relationship has fun it's course.
He could have expressed his desire for you in a hundred different ways that would be sexy and make you feel desired.
Talking about rape should never be a joke.
I asked my 20 year old son if he would say that to someone and he said wtf no that's the worst thing you could ever say to someone.
You could try but I'd be prepared for him saying no since he plans on moving no matter what. So adding feels could just make it harder for both if you.
I don’t think people understand how algorithms work. My TT is make up tips and left-leaning politics. And sometimes true crime and spooky stuff. ? I’ve never seen anything about opening a relationship.
I’ve seen this exact scenario in real life, but without the need for a restraining order, just regret. My friend was the “Jess” in that situation, though.
Hello /u/uryates26,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/External-Importance8,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Capable_Ad3571,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
POGO? LMAO
My husband still goes to his family's parties in the past whether or not I could come or not (usually I went, but if I was sick, I wouldn't go).
Sure, NYE, we're spending at home, but I remember he had to go to a few family functions, i.e. 4th of July BBQ, his family reunion (huge family reunion gathering–it's a party), etc, all by himself since I was sick for a few of those events…
I mean, I don't see why he should miss out partying with his family just because I'm sick… I don't need him to 'care' for me when I'm sick, heck, generally he doesn't lol, I mean, he lets me sleep..and most of the time I'd be alone by myself watching some comfort tv shows (like The Great English Bake-Off, etc) when I'm not feeling good and not want to deal with other people :p
She murdered your and her child. She obviously doesn’t want a family.
Another part of being an adult woman in a relationship with an adult man is respect, and safety.
You're wrong. Saying you want to force yourself on your partner, is never acceptable, even as a joke.
I wasted a LOT of my younger years, when I was in the Army, drunk. I'd love to go back and reclaim all that time.
why does he need to understand that your dog is small to realize that slapping and choking a dog or animal of ANY SIZE is absolutely disgusting and honestly, just reading you defend him is making me so angry.
I didn’t read that in the op but yea I would do the same. I’ve been sick and had to look after kids bc hubby is working. 2 days – alone in a house while sick?? He’s fine. If he gets worse he calls. It might be different if he was immunicompromised. But pandemic or no a slightly sick person is totally fine being able to be left alone.
Well, no not every guy looks at porn, you can find a guy who doesn't. But most do, and as you unfortunately found out, even if you ask, a lot will just say they don't to avoid a confrontation over it. You're conflating some things here though. A guy looking at porn doesn't mean he doesn't love his partner for who she is. As long as you keep conflating those two things you will keep ending up unhappy.
Next time in that situation, you should initiate it then. If you want sex, go get it.
Omg, the comment section is messed up, i agree that this was a terrible descision from her, but it was not planned, it was nothing sexual, it was probably just to cheer up a good friend. This incident is something that you swallow as a careless act, or if you cannot get past this, leave up to you, I would definitely wont if my wife does this, if we got separated and she gives a peak on lip to a shared friend.
It’s my wife. Though my girlfriend might kiss you too.
Oh, dear. I know it's hot to contemplate losing your first love, but consider all of this valuable practice for future, healthier, happier relationships. Break up with this guy and don't look back. It's not a good relationship and it's not worth saving. Look into counseling resources offered by your college so that you can have a safe place to process this relationship and talk about what you want out of future relationships. But do not postpone the incredibly important first step of getting the heck away from this dude who is so screamingly obviously bad for you.
Hello /u/Farmand420,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Professional-Fig6761,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Keep the job and really consider if this relationship is worth it. Because he sounds like he wants to put you in a position to make you financially dependent. Keep the job and consider leaving, if you want, it’s none of my business, because you shouldn’t have to give up your dreams to appease some guy just to have a family. Me personally if someone wants me to be a housewife I would be gone in no time.
Paternity test, Paternity test, Paternity test!
That is a tough one. I feel like the only person who can answer this is your brother. Is there any way he would sit down somewhere private and have a discussion with you? You need to ask him point-blank how he feels and why he's acting this way.
Ah, I see. For me im okay with him talking with other girl because I also talk with other man. If the role are reverse , Im happy he does disclose it to me. As long as it is not after we commit
Your democrat is showing.
Regardless of the low personal blow you got on him, his behavior is that of a teenager. If his default position is being hidden in his room gaming, he is not an adult and he is not a serious husband. He needs to decide if he wants to join you in a real marriage or become single and game all day with no one else around in his life.
Sounds like the old “I don’t want to be with you, but I don’t want you to be with anyone else either” routine to me
This is a wild, wild comment. A paternity test? Holy hell. She has a journal where she’s writing down her feelings. She’s not rolling in late from work without explanation, going out at odd times, or anything else. She has complex feelings and sounds like she’s afraid of sharing a few things with OP.
I know SO MANY abused women who have internalized the idea that they're overreacting, being dramatic, whatever. It's a lie. If anything, you're wildly underreacting. You're not getting upset enough. And that instinct that freaks out when fucked up things happen? That's a gift. It's trying to keep you safe and alive. You need to embrace it and nope the hell out of there.
I wasn't really into people at 19, I was more focused on drugs at the time so I do not have an honest answer to that question.
In what ways are you suggesting/thinking?
LOL some of us guys are a little dense when it comes to a woman flirting with us. WE may not see it, but our Wife/GF will.
I got my wife into games. Now we play together.
This was exactly the advice I needed.
Thank you kind stranger.
Hello /u/Paladin-Leeroy,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Amazing that an 18 year has more sense than a 34 year old.
Hello /u/chickenwinner007,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Thank you! It is ok to just not want to be with someone forever… that is why people date, so they try it out and if doesn't work for whatever reason… you get to say it is over for you and the other person needs to accept and let go… doesn't always happen but we need to normalize just being able to break it off and be ok
Absolutely this. As someone who works in a hospital, the RSV/flu/Covid is bad right now. If you or someone you on-line with us sick- stay home!!
Who is this message for? Me? Because I don't understand your wording, can you write sentences more clearly, I am dyslexic.
She said she had an inheritance and it’s big enough for her to on-line off of it. The inheritance might have included the apartment, or maybe was all money. Most people, if they had a big cash inheritance and didn’t want to work, would try to buy a place outright. In many big cities, buying an apartment is the equivalent of buying a home in a smaller town.
She’s not a landlord if she’s not charging anyone rent!
Hello /u/Muchmoss,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You just described multiple bullet points for the clinical requirements of cannabis use disorder. You’re an addict and it’s destroying your relationships. Seek help. This qualifies for treatment under most medical insurance policies.
Hello /u/Weslee_J22,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He should see a therapist because she is lazy?!
Hello /u/Enough_Nail,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I feel like this is a communication thing on his part, especially if you’ve made it clear that you want to get to know his friends better. I have the feeling he’s trying to hide something or avoid something and so that’s why he keeps them at bay with you. Perhaps he’s always been the point of ridicule and is ashamed to let you know that? Or maybe there is something that they know about him and he doesn’t want that information to get to you. Is he embarrassed by you? This is a tough one. I’d pry your boyfriend for answers. Maybe he did something?
My sort of similar experience: I had a friend that was weird whenever he got a girlfriend. He’d disappear for months to even a year at a time without reaching out to anyone. Some would assume it’s the girlfriend, but it turns out this is just a thing he does for some reason. We could never figure it out, and it wasn’t like there was any rift or resentment between friends. Our theory is that he’s insecure about something superficial, like the perceived “hotness” of the girls he dates doesn’t match up to his own said expectations.
Again, this is weird. I hope you figure it out.
Well you don't get to tell your boyfriend how to feel.
Get therapy
Your boyfriend doesn't change his life because he is happy with the status quo. He has a place to on-line free, free food and do his gaming endlessly. He won't change as there is no incentive for him to change.
Hello /u/fAlacio02,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yep, narc speak. Deflect, word salad bs, not logical.
I love this! Put so much more eloquently than my reply but the same as I feel and think about romantic love.
Troll-ol-ol
Take your sister to the ER during psychosis, when she’s freaking out and can’t be calmed. Im wondering if your sister said something to your fiancé when you weren’t around…..like that she’s gonna Jill her or something.
Tell your husband to fuck off it his responsibility not yours.
It isn’t going to improve overnight. Given how long this has been going on, it may take weeks or months. This is what parenting is. You helped create this monster, you can continue to create it and watch it grow bigger, or you can start being a parent. Yes, it is going to suck and you are going to lose out on sleep-taking the easy way out in order to make your life easier in the moment is what got you into this mess in the first place.
Also, do you or your husband yell and scream at each other to get your way? Do you or he rush to placate the other to avoid an adult tantrum? If so, there is another reason this little boy believes tantrums are a good way of getting what he wants.
Hello /u/Render636,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
I would break up with you if I was her. This is totally unacceptable.
“Expecting partners to care for those we care for to the same level we do is a set up for failure expectation wise.”
No, it's not. You all are just really pathetic when it comes to taking on anything in life that is difficult.
You need to stop being so hyperbolic. It's been two months. The fiance hasn't withered in this amount of time. The sister is having her second round of medical appointments this week.
You are correct she can leave whenever she wants. After two months, when he is getting the sister help, his actions were fine, and doing it in the shittiest way possible makes her a shitty person.
Define “casually dating”.
She did nothing untoward. Her hands on his shoulders? Gasp. Not.
Pretty much confirmed it from her she begged and cried for me to not look at the test when it comes
I can promise you that most people commenting are overweight themselves so see nothing wrong with “normal weight gain as we age” (which 60lbs in 2.5 years isn’t)..
She spends a lot of time with the people that i spend time with as well, so would the outcome change if we all hang out, or should i ask her to hang out 1 on 1
Why is that wrong if it's done openly and consensually?
Hello /u/lesl0l,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Break up- you can end your romantic relationship but still be a friend to her during her difficult time.
update for everyone who was interested. the gaming and his frustrations with me were all a major front to hide that he wanted “me-time” more often because he was cheating on me with his coworker. as soon as i caught him, he fessed up, said he never loved me, and moved out of our home to go on-line with the other woman who also knew about me all along. good riddance & at least now i have validation that none of this was my fault.
Hello /u/ThrowRAtoof,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You definitely have ear bud and headphone mixed up.
With regard to your family not thinking much of him, who exactly is dating him? You, or them? If you're happy, you're happy. From what you say he's being a good partner. Your issues, though, are toxic and need to be dealt with in a healthy manner. I don't say that to insult you or to give a lazy “i hope he breaks up with you lulz” but because I have been on both sides of that toxicity in my life. I am, thankfully, past it now, but it destroyed several relationships because of trust issues. If you weren't dating, i'd say go work on you so you're ready for the trust, respect and communication that is necessary for a relationship to work. Given you're already dating, I'd say he'd support your choice to find a good therapist, or other support network, because if he's as good as you say, he'd consider it as you really caring about the relationship and wanting to maintain it.
But that's just my take
It’s your body, you have to on-line with the consequences of that choice. Don’t let your boyfriend pressure you into it. If he’s a “boob guy” he can find someone more compatible with his very shallow preferences. If you want to get breast augmentation for yourself, do it but don’t let him change your body because of his preferences.
People amaze me. Great guy wants you and is invested in you and you sleep around for money because you weren’t official. What do expect. Personally I think I’m the long run it’s doomed but keep trying is my advice I suppose
I just had to read your title and I can tell you this… Dump him.
thank you and congratulations on being married to your high school gf. i wish i could’ve had a similar experience.
He's lying to you
You can't change that it happened. You seem to logically accept that you were not (1) “official at the time,” (2) she did not initiate it and (3) even in her inebriated state, she seemed repulsed by it. You also seem confident that it is NOT it is indicative of future behavior.
So the real question is, what is it about this that you can't accept and feel the relationship can move on? Dig deep to see if this is really about your current GF or if you are projecting the misdeeds of your past partners onto your current GF.
My exwife had a very specific way she'd masturbate and I had some trust issues when we were first dating where it was difficult for me to orgasm from sex.
We both had to do a bit of a reset. For her it was physical and for me it was emotional. Once we got our issues resolved and got good at the coital alignment technique, we'd both orgasm at the same time about >90% of the time. I think we sort of both got conditioned to where we when either of us would be getting close, it would start to push the other one over the edge as well. For example, if we were doing doggy, then either I'd reach down and lend a hand, or if she was in the mood for having her hair pulled or something, then she'd lend herself a hand. And again, whenever one of us was getting close to orgasm, the other would catch right up. At that point, it really was a conditioned response for both of us though.
Best of luck!
Hello /u/rchnbrg,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
She doesn’t have to stay child free. She has another option: don’t marry this asshole.
Hello /u/kairosdes,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Call her and tell her to buzz off and stop talking to your husband. And if she doesnt tell her you would go to her family and husband about her past relationship with your hubby. If she is a muslim her family and husband will definitely flame her for it.
I would say do all you can to protect your family. Right now they are close to being emotionally cheating with each other. I for one dont believe in being friends with ex, ESPECIALLY those with sexual history.
Hello /u/scorpionowl,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yea I would bang just about anything personally I’m not too picky but that knife shit would make me run for the hills I don’t blame you bro
Hello /u/Tough-Stop-9017,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
You lucky bastard, others are paying good money to get such a pair…! I would say that washing yourself and not changing or having sex and not washing is a problem.
You lucky bastard, others are paying good money to get such a pair…! I would say that washing yourself and not changing or having sex and not washing is a problem.
You lucky bastard, others are paying good money to get such a pair…! I would say that washing yourself and not changing or having sex and not washing is a problem.
You should check out BoRU. It's one of our favorites.
OP, you are not wrong at all. There’s a lot of toxic comments in here telling you in essence that your GF is traveling the world in order to get laid. That might be how some people are, but I think you would not be with her if she were that kind of person.
I think it’s perfectly fine to stay in a committed relationship AND to stay flexible, depending on how the relationship seems to be going. Long distance texts and letters can be very romantic.
I also think that part of your feelings about this are about you wanting to have an adventure of your own. Why not start saving and planning for your own trip? It’s easier than it’s ever been to travel cheaply.
I think you did the right thing, I am actually impressed that you got those words out. I don't blame you. And if this is how she feels, it's for the best that you not date her. It would be a minefield of terror every time you touched her.
She's certainly entitled to her feelings, but you don't have to date her under these circumstances.
Nah fuck him. Tell him to get a dick job.
Do you on-line in the US? If so, is your state enrolled in ACA? Since your sister is unemployed she should qualify for state health care. Not all states took the federal ACA funding though so just Google “X State Healthcare Enrollment” and research options.
Is it possible for her to on-line with your father?
A friend of mine from high school was diagnosed with schizophrenia and it’s been a constant battle for their family to get him treatment. It’s very, very difficult to get someone involuntarily committed.
You need to be going in with her next appointment so you can make sure she’s telling the doctors the truth. None of this does you any good if she’s lying to the doctors. Otherwise it’s a waste of time. You need to emphasize the suicidal sentiments and have them chart it — it will help if you need to go down the involuntary commitment route.
Regarding your fiancé — I understand both perspectives. She didn’t sign up to be a caregiver to your sister and I’m sure living with her and watching you struggle financially along with her isn’t easy.
However if you guys are going to be married she also needs to weigh the resentment you will feel if you’re emotionally blackmailed into abandoning your family.
Have a conversation with her away from your sister and come up with a plan and a timeline and a budget for how much help you can realistically provide. Your sister cannot live! with you. I don’t think your relationship will survive that. I would strongly encourage you to convince your father to allow her to move in with him for now. By whatever means necessary. If you have to lay on the biggest guilt trip of your life than do it.
Also reach out to Adult Protective Services and any other federal, state, county, and city mental health resource. She is unemployed and has no money — she should qualify for quite a few resources. Enroll her in EBT as well. She’s not on your lease so she’s technically homeless. Do not count your income on the applications — she isn’t legally part of your household even if she does on-line there for now.
Gather up all this information and give your fiancé a timeline. A month or six weeks. Sooner if you can get her to your Dads. Hold off on selling the car / refinancing for now — maybe your dad can take over your part of the loan to get it out of your name. But right now there’s too many variables so wait until you figure out where your sister will be staying & what resources she can get before selling it.
But I suspect what your fiancé needs most is to hear that you have a plan and this isn’t going to be the rest of her life or the next decade or the next five years.
That being said hopefully she does have some empathy because two months isn’t that long. Family health crisis are a given as you get older — not everyone can just up and abandon their family as soon as someone gets sick. But get on the same page as to what level of support both of you are willing to provide. This is an all hands on deck situation so reach out to literally anyone and everyone you can think of for help.
Honestly if you want to try and make things work with her further down the line, your best move is to break it off with her now. Don't just be the needy boyfriend waiting for her at home while she goes out and experiences life without you, she will get tired of that quickly.
Let her go and see the world while you move on, enjoy life and meet new people. When she gets back, maybe you two can try again. But for now, you're not any kind of priority to her.
You're a star! It's hot to look at it from another perspective other than mine or hers and having you as a third person viewpoint makes it much easier to understand. Even now I feel like I've warmed up a bit to the idea though I'd still prefer to do it together, thank you so much.
Hello /u/ThrowRA202983,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
First of all, dont blame yourself for anything; you’ve been doing the best you can in an extremely challenging situation. Second, your fiancee is at breaking point; let her go; she needs to rest and recuperate and see things from a distance before you two can talk again.
Your sister is extremely lucky to have you. I am not in the US, so cannot give helpful advice. I do think this is going to take longer than you think to become manageable. Im not sure your sister will be fit to work for a long time (maybe ever) and you need to look at her being financially supported by the government.
Hello /u/Front_Green_4672,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
He is trying to be encouraging . You are in an impossible spot but he is trying.
I just Dont think this is a fight you should pick.
Hello /u/Fuxkbro,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Hello /u/Icy-Stick186,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
A 27-year-old using using immature language would be a massive turn off for me too.
Two months is too soon to be having these arguments, you’re meant to still be in the honeymoon phase. Cut your losses and move on.
She’s not emotionally mature enough for a relationship, you did the right thing by ending things.
They’ll be at the same school, he’ll just love seeing her at parties and going out with other guys. Then be angry and guilt her. Don’t let him, don’t be available to him.
Also, I hope his great plan backfires on him. He’s under the impression that guys can get action a lot more than they do because they are in college. Not saying it never happens, but more often a girl can, but guys not so much.
Hon, seems he has made his decision, and if you have to be convinced it’s not the right one for you. Personally, I would end it now. The longer you stay together knowing when it ends what he plans to do, you won’t be happy. Be ready though, he will most likely start this “college experience” sooner. I’m sure it will be painful, but you can get through it.
Dude what?
She's just not that into you. This relationship is over.
Get a new boyfriend like if he doesn’t make you feel safe then why be with him
How is it coercion, its her choice weather to carry the baby or not, its his weather he wants to stay or not, should he not tell her what he wants to do?
Awesome, thanks. Whoever is the one for you will love you as you are, and be confident you can do better. ♥
She is using you and it’s a comfortable life for her. She’s happy to have a roommate to help share the bills and help her family, instead of breaking up, be the “bad guy” and have to on-line with someone she doesn’t know.
You can part on good terms now, and both of you go enjoy college, or you can wait until you resent each other or he cheats on you.
There's nothing wrong with breaking up. Almost every relationship ends in a breakup. It isn't something to be ashamed of. It isn't a waste. Just move on. You're starting college and you have nothing but opportunity in front of you.
Time to move on…
Date someone else whose needs and dating style are more compatible with yours.
Hello /u/Shoddy_Bake_7187,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Trust your gut.
Talk to ur wife. “I am uncomfortable”.
Talk to your friend. “Back up from my wife please”.
You are allowed to feel things and I encourage you to step up and express yourself.
Especially in matters regarding the integrity of your family.
Welcome to dating in adulthood. Communication is key. She doesn’t sound ready to communicate her wants and needs in an adult way.
Oh well. Moving on.
Plenty of more relationships ahead of you. Enjoy 🙂
Both of you need to compromise or cut things off. You need to communicate to her that she is sufficient to satisfying you (because she clearly doesn't feel like she is), and you need to accept that sex isn't going to be consistent thing in your relationship (which it sounds like you already sorta have). If these are things that neither of you are able to do, then you're better off separated than growing more and more bitter towards each other staying together.
Never hide stuff. Let light shine on it. She cheated, she can deal with the aftermath.
She doesn't seem very remorseful, not sure there is anything left to save.
Well i'm just there thinking “was she peeing while a guy was standing there looking at her???” And to me that's more disturbing than anything else…
Sounds like drugs, and when they kicked in her behaviour changed.
Moral of the story, never go to the bathroom
The is norm is a man 2-3 years older not 12 ?
She wants you to make her feel special.
Absolutely. Actually planning a crime is a crime.
Hello /u/Throwaway26897431,
Your post was removed for the following reason(s):
Your title did not include at least two ages/genders or was not formatted correctly
Posts must:
include details about the involved parties including ages, genders, and length of relationship, and
request advice in real situations involving two or more people
We are enforcing the two rules listed above by making all titles start with ages/genders in the following format:
[##X][##X], [## X][## X], or [##-X][##-X] where ## is the age and X is the gender (currently M, F, T, A, NB, FTM, MTF but more can be added). You can have more than two ages/genders listed, but you must have at least two at the beginning of your title. Here is an example:
[34NB][88-F] We are two people in an example post
Please resubmit with a corrected title.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yep
So if your fiance cheats, most people would break up. Then catching someone in the act is A LOT WORSE than just knowing about it. You might let it go if you just know but how can you not remember that moment again and again? Then it was with another man, which might not be a bad thing but it also might be bad. And then it was is COUSIN? Where are we? Alabama?
If you got him into your family bussiness I would try getting him out of it. You can tell whoever runs it what happened.
I would break up for sure and do it fast and cancel all contact. I would also think about asking for the money back that you gave him for his college depts but I doubt you have a legal right to getting it back. If his family comes asking why I would tell them what happened.
That's the thing, if you read her other posts and comments, it's clear that he's abusive and he makes her feel like her, for example, normal desire to talk about her problems with her family is unreasonable. He also gets angry for small things then makes her feel like his huge reaction is her fault when normal people would see it as verbal abuse. They were joking around before getting pedicures and she said he had Shrek feet and he cancelled the trip, left her to go out and then texted her that he didnt care if she ended up dead in a river among other things because of that one statement.
The abuse is the big red flag but gaslighting is being used to make her feel like what he's doing is rational and normal when it really isn't.
I hope everything works out for you
You really think you can't do better than this? Really?
If this is the best you can do, you need to be single and improve yourself to a point where you get access to a better dating pool.
If you couldn't get it up to satisfy her, would you seek medical help specifically to satisfy your girlfriend? Has she done that? If she hasn't gone that far, she's too selfish for a relationship.
Honestly, does she even view it as a problem?
Yep its over
Thanks man, I'm encouraged.
U know what fuck all this, I'm gonna follow my heart. Life isn't that naked.
I'm sure it did break your heart. She may eventually get over her ex. Unfortunately, and sadly, it's pretty clear that you won't be the guy to get her there. You're not going to get any hotter than you were the day you met her. She has opted to settle for you, probably because she has given up on ever finding everything she wants in one man again. But it isn't good to be settled for. You should call it a day.
Do you think they could be cheating together? They both don't seem to have an issue with hiding it. I would be pretty up set with his response and have to have a very serious conversation with posable ultimatum.
Don't let him fool you again please.
So if you lose 40 lbs he'll find you attractive again? But how will you ever trust him? What if you got pregnant? Or sick? Or if your thyroid quit? A relationship doesn't have a weight requirement. Either someone loves you for you, or they don't. Nah. Break up and find someone who loves you for YOU, not for what you look like.
Am I an idiot for wanting to get back with her?
Yes.
I know the alcohol was the main contributor to her actions
Plenty of people get shitfaced drunk and don't assault their partner or call the cops. Alcohol might explain her actions, but it does not excuse them.
what if the police would have believed her side?
You'd have been arrested.
my heart tells me to give her another chance if she agrees to quit drinking
Honestly, best of luck to you trying to get a 19y/o to quit drinking altogether, I personally wouldn't bother either way.
My brain on the other hand is scared for what might happen if I do give her a chance.
Listen to your brain, not your dick.
I once knew someone like that. It was weird going out in the sun with them — they were like the human version of those glasses that turn into sunglasses.
100%
Idk why but I'm getting lots of notifications but the messages seem to get deleted real quick? It's weird.
Someone asked what would stop her getting controlling if he gave in and demanding he stop platonic relationships. Absolutely she would then be in the wrong, but according to the post that's not what happened. Your partner asking you not to communicate with someone who is romantically pursuing you is rationale and pretty standard practice in most monogamous relationships imo. It has no correlation or causation with abusive control.
If you have emotional problems that are affecting your relationship, you either address them like an adult, or lose your relationship. No one is obliged to tolerate your uncontrolled emotions because you “don't want to”.
Ouch OP that's emotional abuse. Be needs therapy and you need to move on. That kind of talk has no place in a relationship and you'll always be 2nd place to his ex.
I don't know what you wrote because I can't stop laughing at the title.
Tansitioning
You ruined your relationship when u cheated. Kudos to you for doing the right thing but the fact you regret doing the right thing is gross. Don’t listen to this person OP, do the right thing and let your bf make his choice.
Hi. I lost my first husband almost 12 years ago, to the day. I loved him very much. I'm married again. I found this beautiful, kind man who adores me. And I love him to pieces. I love him differently- I love him with all the knowledge of someone who has loved very deeply before, and has learned painful lessons from losing someone. I don't know if you have children, but it's very much like that- I love both my children, completely, but in entirely different ways. I loved my first husband. I love my second, but in a different, equally intense and amazing way. I hope you find a lady to keep you company. I hope you get to experience love again, the way I have- it's just as sweet the second time round ☺❤
Did you read the rest of the comment?
Your work has NO jurisdiction to fire you over blocking coworkers on your PERSONAL phone when they cross a line. Literally, read up on your law before you brandish such a shit claim.
Would you give your phone to your work to look over your work colleagues messages? No? Exactly. Scratch up on your employment law if you think that your work can make you use your phone as a work phone and force you to keep in contact with people who make you uncomfortable.
Where do these people come from? She is 29F and showing so much disrespect to you. What did she say after you broke it off?
I think you should absolutely under no circumstances meet you ex without talking to your wife about it first. She will likely not be comfortable with it, in which case you should not go.
Do Not Meet Up With Your Ex.
No that’s playing with fire and you know it. You mention you’re going through a rough patch…even worse
That literally doesn’t matter at all. It doesn’t need to be about him for him to find it harmful.
Your “fiancée “ has not issue with someone cheating and is actively stopping you from helping the other party dead ass leave tbh is relationship bro
there was never any physical or emotional abuse. I believe that couples can work through a lot with proper communication, and to the part of growing up for a man that just isn't the case. he may be older than me but he had just as much growing as I had to do. I've made mistakes towards him as well and we worked through it. me being with him wasn't the topic of this discussion
Likely he’s cheating.
Did he take the phone with him? If so, he deleted all the evidence.
Sounds like he does shrooms a lot.
You need to take a complete break from her for a while. Exes shouldn't be seeing each other regularly right after a break up, there's no space to move on or acclimate to life without the other person.
Yeah, I’m pretty blunt anyway, just don’t want to be rude and not sure how to approach the situation. I don’t want to cause a scene and I only see him at social functions.
Exactly
BF needs to drop the rope! If he doesn't see his mom is a problem, then you need to decide if he is worth the stress.
I think this is the most compelling argument I’ve heard so far. If we’re starting anew and rebuilding trust, doing something behind her back like this could break or irreparably damage everything we do to rebuild.
I’m sorry that all happened. I’m sorry you are having to deal with this with a young baby. But, your husband is a danger to you and your child. He didn’t his you by accident, and he didn’t hit the baby by accident.
He may not have actively intended to hit the baby, but it wasn’t an accident. An accident is slipping on ice, not slamming a door in your wife’s face while she’s holding a baby.
And your husband made a choice to hit you. And it wasn’t an accident.
And once an abuser feels comfortable with physical violence, the violence will continue and will escalate over time. Neither you or your baby deserves that future.
You need to leave. If you have friends or family you can go to, go there. The sooner the better.
You didn’t make him behave this way. He chose to, of his own free will. If you could control him that easily, you probably would have used your powers of control to get him to clean up after himself.
Your husband is abusive. You are in an abusive relationship. And the fact that your husband doesn’t believe he did anything wrong only proves the point that you aren’t safe.
I think this means that he was off his tits when he wrote it
She is the outsider though. You and your children are the established unit. It can be awkward for people to try to find their place in that. Have there been any attempts to include her in activities? To plan a family day with her involved?
How was she around your kids prior to moving in? How do they feel about her?
She called me tonight I was planning to end terms this night. When she called me she had tears in her eyes and going down her face. We talked about our days a little bit and she asked anything you want to talk about I said what’s there to talk about she just started tearing up again became completely silent was crying on the floor steering at my face trying to hide it then crawled up in a blanket and cried herself to sleep. This is hurting me way too much because I think she rushed it, and she never thought about what would happen if I actually left her life. I think she’s finally coming to terms with it one way or the other. I was just silent the whole time cracked a couple jokes the silence seemed to hurt her a lot. Why rush with someone if you’re not over me. There’s more to this than being let on. She woke up at 8 pm called me two hours after she woke up, and wanted to talk all night . Id think if you had a boyfriend you’d be doing it with him. Very confusing in all
This is ridiculous, you cant control what exercises he does or doesn't do in cheer. He's not suddenly going to decide he wants someone else. You wouldn't be crying if he touched someone while doing another sport. This is all on you.
It means he ain't the brightest candle on the cake
>cobb salad
I have zero idea what a Cobb is, or a Cobb salad (my computer is autocorrecting it to be capitalized).
>yolked just means i looked like i ate a lot of eggs(protein) because i was very muscular
I have no idea that people who are muscular look like eggs or something. I don't know.
>2 or 3 is out of 10 on the rudimentary, personal “subjective/objective attractiveness scale”
So you're quantifying qualified data? That's not possible.
> all my therapists give up because i poke holes in everything.
You didn't get the right type of therapists.
Some skeletons get stinkier the longer you leave them in the closet. (This sucks I know)
But it's to say that I think you should talk to her about it. She has a problem and she needs to recognize she has a problem and fix it, it's not your responsibility to tell her boyfriend but it's yours to tell her.
It could cause distraction but it can also be a trigger for her to better herself.
Also DON'T DRINK A DRIVE.
She's a screwed up chick.
Do what you are doing and ghost her
Find someone close to home and no stupid ass guy friends
If they have many guy friends, stay away.
Either it's a kind of tick or more likely it's a manipulation tactic. Looking at you to see you're reaction and if it's working to just get you to comply with what she wants.
I had a fight with one person in the group, and so they all sided with that one friend
So there was a post awhile ago where OP’s sisters boyfriend made a move on OP. OP went straight to her sister but the BF twisted it, made it sound like OP just wanted to break them up and sis believed it, everyone turned on OP and things went badly. What I’m saying is try to get some sort of proof before telling Mia incase Rick tries to do the same. Mia might be especially vulnerable due to her trauma and mental health issues, and the fact that she likely will want to deny what Rick has done due to her finally having the life and possible family she has always dreamed of. She needs to know but you need to play your cards right.
This is excellent advice. As the gf, I would want to know this sooner rather than later, and I would want to hear it from my bf and not from someone else. This is a good step-by-step way of telling the story.
Thank you for the advice
No, this is not salvageble and it SHOULDN'T BE. HE TAMPERED WITH HIS CONDOMS! Is this the kind of person you want to spend your life with? Someone who blatantly disregards your wishes and even resorts to abuse (yes, this is abuse) to get his way? Because he was told you DO NOT WANT children. And yet he went and tried to impregnate you anyway?! Hell, no, you should not be with him. No one should.
I don't think your “mistake” was so much a mistake towards him than towards yourself, because if you truly do not want children, whether you are infertile or not, the result is the same. But what he did is despicable. If he changed his mind about wanting children, he should have talked to you like a normal person and when you maintained you didn't want them, you should have broken up because that makes you incompatible. For your next relationship, maybe let them know from the start. If you actually do want children, depending on where you on-line and your finances and you and your partner, maybe you can consider adoption or surrogacy or something.
Good luck, OP, and please don't get back with him and don't be sad for not being with him
She full on cheated which your heart recognizes. But likely you are used to lesbian sex being treated as entertainment for men which explains the erection. That's not what happened though. Nothing about this was to arouse you, it was about her cheating on you.
I'd move forward as if she had sex with some random Steve she met.
(Some may complain that your attitude is biphobic in not treating bi sex like it's as valid as straight sex. Which is correct, but besides the point. Realizing that she hax straight up regular sex with someone might help though.)
That’s unfortunately what I’m worried abt, that he expected me to be the fun young gf and I’m not fulfilling that role by having problems
Probably something you should work on with a therapist then. Sounds like it could help you feel supported
How is it obvious
I totally get it. I know I am the one to blame. I am not really good into relations and people, I wanted to validate that this is really what I should resolve this. Breaking up is rational, I just know we both will be devastated.
I might have used a wrong wording when it comes to “all this stuff”. She cares for me as much as I care for her. This is what I've meant here, and you might got the impression that the relationship is one sided. She is just at another emotional level, I care for her as much as I can.
What do you want to do about it? If it was me, I'd want to at least be a co-parent if we didn't get back together. It sounds like your options are return to her, or run and hide.
I do agree that she should share it. But only because it means that he doesn't have to worry about her getting pregnant so much. And when something goes wrong with birthcontrol it isn't that big of an issue.
But she shouldn't have to tell because she might change her mind.
Why would anyone do this to themselves if they aren’t 200%.
It's entirely possible, but…
Do you want to stay friends with someone who chooses to stay friendly with a guy like that when she has a credible source saying he's abusive?
If that's the way it goes, it may hurt, but you're better off free of both of them than attending events with him for years and trying not to lose it
“Good you need it”
You wanted her to say: no don't do it, you don't need it?
Now raising her voice (no slightly anymore?) is the problem, well she was not yelling at you?
Dig at you? – you agreed that she's right..so why it's a dig at you? Why are you playing a victim now?
You didn't do anything about the habit yet!
You see how I can be annoying when I'm like you? That's how she feels!
Your narrative does not fit everyone’s. There is a lot of drama associated with dating your friends exes. Obviously they’re apart but it caused fucking issues, how hot is that to understand? It’s a betrayal to your friends trust. I’d rather keep a quality friend around that I’ve known for years over risking losing that friend for his bimbo ex
How long was he gone?
Swingers shooting their shot ? I guess I can kind of understand why your husband would initially question your behavior / whether you somehow alluded to such an offer being on your mind. But, with a track record of 6 years of platonic friendship and ZERO instances of anything similar happening, it’s obvious (to me) you weren’t “in on this”. I’d ask your husband what reason you’ve ever given him to not trust you now. As far as the awkwardness, I feel that’s something everyone will need to get over in their own way. Knowing someone’s down to fuck you changes the dynamic of your friendship but isn’t the biggest deal in general. I’m sure the neighbors understand you aren’t interested and will likely never make that sort of remark to you again.
And you’re not going to catch gonorrhoea from someone who has it and didn’t wash their hands after the loo. It does not transfer that way. Doesn’t matter how horrid the loo is
They also just had a break, I'm wondering maybe she is pregnant but it's not his.
?
I used to have a friend from high-school. We were pretty thick in high-school, and even stayed in touch after. But my life started falling apart after I started college. I eventually joined the military, and left my hometown behind. Even still, I stayed in touch with my friend and even gave him access to my social media's while I was away so people wouldn't worry about me, because I trusted him that much.
After being in for a year or two, I came out to him that I had a crisis of faith while I was in and that I had become an atheist. Then he totally ghosted me. For like nearly 6 years.
He got married a few years ago, and invited me to the wedding and apologized and told me that he ghosted me specifically over my crisis of faith. So, I forgave him and accepted his invitation, I felt out to the wedding (I lived a few hundred miles away at the time and had to fly out and take vacation days.) I got him a nice gift and even dressed up.
He didn't invite me to the reception, his father, who I had known since I was a young teen, told me that he hoped I understood, that it was close friends and family only, and they didn't cater the event with the expectation that I was coming.
After that I tried staying in touch, but, it was hot, and our conversations were hollow and meaningless. He wasn't trying and neither was I.
Everyone else he invited lived within 50 miles. He went out of his way to apologize to me and invite me as a token gesture to alleviate his guilt for not being there for me during a couple of dark episodes in my life. He never expected me to come to the wedding. Apparently everyone was shocked to see me there. I guess my gesture of rekindling our friendship was cringe and unwanted.
Don't waste your time with friends who won't even call you. Don't worry about them, they aren't worried about you. Maybe they got busy, maybe they have reasons, but life is too short to worry about a relationship that you have to keep alive by working very hot on your end, and you get a limp-wristed reception on the other side.
There are better people to spend your time with, use the time you were keeping your dying friendship alive to go and find them.
Exactly. Are OP and her boyfriend sex obsessed and attracted to everyone of their opposite gender so that one on one time with someone means they're inevitably going to end up interlocking their genitals? Not to mention the narcissism that has to accompany it by assuming the other person is interested in them
I'm mentally ill and I think in time he'll completely understand. Sometimes we make our problems our whole world and forget the effect it has on people we care about. After the initial shock and introspection I'm sure he'll see why it had to be done. You really shouldn't feel bad
Don't think about her as your daughter, think about her as a person without any ties with you. Would that be a person you would like to have in your life? I don't think so.
We can go no contact with any person that causes us harm, even if they are family. We usually see kids going no contact with their parents because of trauma, but a parent has every right of doing the same.
She already said she is the same person and has no intention of changing. Believe her.
I understand this take. I've been single for a long time, hadn't had sex for 11 months. Started talking to an old flame, just talking, not even meeting in person. After a few weeks of talking, I hooked up with an ex and realized it was a mistake and I never wanted to do it again. Was that a betrayal of the guy I was just talking to? For all I know, he might get bored of talking and ghost me tomorrow.
Why would you even want to entertain the thought of marrying him? You'd be better off single. He plans to baby trap you and drain all of your finances. There is no way in hell I'd stay in a relationship with a guy like that. He isn't the only guy out there.
This post has reached one of our comment/karma limits. The text of the post has been preserved below.
My boyfriend and I are planning to get married, but he hasn’t proposed to me yet. He recently separated and divorced his first wife, which was a long, drawn out process.
I know that married couples manage their finances and money differently and I am interested in hearing some opinions about this.
My boyfriend has a ton of debt from his previous marriage and from his divorce, so when we on-line together and eventually get married, he will have virtually nothing in his checking account and the only equity that he will have is his house, which is valued at 160K.
I have a considerable amount of money, which I began saving during early adulthood to make a down payment on a home. I also have a pretty large family inheritance of around 400k.
My boyfriend and I argue every time that we discuss this, because I have told him that I would feel more comfortable having my own separate bank accounts when we get married, and we can create a joint bank account together which we can both deposit money into, in order to pay for our living expenses. He thinks that I am being unreasonable for asking for this and he says that it’s a sign that I don’t trust him or care enough about our relationship.
He is basically telling me “Once you get married, you stop being an individual. You need to have a marriage mindset and not a single person mindset“. I told him that I don’t feel comfortable turning all of my money/life savings and my family inheritance into a marital asset by putting it in a joint bank account with him. We discussed the possibility of creating a prenup to protect my money (so he can’t turn around and divorce me and take everything from me), but he doesn’t like that idea either. He says, “A prenuptial agreement is starting a marriage off on the wrong foot, because it already shows that we don’t trust each other and we’re not on a united front“.
I’m also concerned that my boyfriend likes to be in control of everything and he micromanages things. He even creates spreadsheets of monthly monthly expenses and everything that he spends money on while living with a partner. So, if I’m coming into the relationship with much more money, I feel like he’s going to micromanage it and not allow me to spend my own money because then it will become “our money“.
He is expecting us to try getting pregnant within the next six months, and he wants me to see a fertility specialist to see if I can have more than one child during the pregnancy because of my age. He wants four children, but I don’t know if that’s possible (or healthy) for me to do. I talked to him about how pregnancy (with multiple babies) might destroy my body, and I told him that I would want to have a tummy tuck procedure afterwards if I have loose skin on my stomach afterwards. He doesn’t seem to approve of this, and he stated that plastic surgery costs “too much money” and also it’s “selfish“ of me to expect him to pick up child care responsibilities while I’m recovering from having such a surgery. So I already feel like I’m not being allowed to spend money on things that I would need to do in the future for my mental health.
The vibrator is an excuse. He was looking for one and that's the best he was able to come up with.
It's not wrong to try your hand at dating, but it sounds like you're not quite ready yet, and you're still hurting.
The grief and pain is going to make it more difficult to really open up emotionally, let your guard down with somone new. Which is, unfortunately essential to feeling a sense of connection and attraction to somone else.
Give it a few more months.
Racist, ignorant, and idiotic.
Why are you with him?
Yea I think at this point she’s just kind of jaded. Because she’s checked out, I think even if make some changes, I think she’ll still be done with the relationship. Good luck
Hmm, this sounds like assault to me. Time to cut your bf out of your life.
Thats fucking psychotic, and is completely violating your bodily autonomy. Leave, and honestly report this to the police just to have a record of his actions towards you in case he escalates in the future.
If when she says “what are you doing?” she is actually saying “what do you think you're doing?” I'm with you man. Seems like she's trying to make you use sage without asking it directly, so that when you do you cannot later claim it was something you did for her. Seems shocking to me that not enough people are getting it this way.
You think it's suspicious, he thinks it's not. Suspicious is a matter of opinion. Debate settled.
I thought so too and then rereading it, is she paying the neighbors in popcorn for feeding her cats? Is popcorn the currency?
“i should let a man be irrational at times” im sorry but if he wants to maintain such a ridged mind view of how you should be feminine then he needs to maintain the stoicism of his masculinity and part of that is making sure he keeps control of himself and his emotions and not be “irrational”. This is coming from a Redpill guy who does subscribe to women being feminine and men being masculine but he needs to maintain his side if he wants the same from you.
Break up with him.
Would you rather go in a vacation hurt because a relationship ended and have an change to unwind or would you rather have a relationship end right after a vacation wondering if the person didn’t break up first so they could scam you for a free vacation?
You should have kept the relationship ended the first time. You need to be sure it stays ended this time.
Grow up and take the lead here.
If you're talking sex addiction, it sounds like you recognise you have a pattern. She must be aware of some of it already, but best to be honest with her.
I would guess that he's looking for a reason to be mad because he's cheating, and needed an excuse to not sleep with you. Either that, or as others have said he's been using you from day 1. In either case, he sounds unhinged, and possibly dangerous. I would take the baby, find a safe place, start the divorce process and stop the visa process if you can.
I would guess that he's looking for a reason to be mad because he's cheating, and needed an excuse to not sleep with you. Either that, or as others have said he's been using you from day 1. In either case, he sounds unhinged, and possibly dangerous. I would take the baby, find a safe place, start the divorce process and stop the visa process if you can.
What other reason would a middle aged man have to search out exclusively girls young enough to be his daughter and barely legal?
This is still turning stuff into a ‘let’s argue about who is right.’
Sometimes you just say ‘ok honey, if you want to take the train, then we will take the train.’ Split the decision making and control 50/50. Then support her, even if her decisions don’t always go well.
Sharing, supporting someone, letting them have things their way sometimes are much more important in relationships than always being right. You will both be really wrong on occasion, but you will have each other and you’ll get through it.
I’m a 30yo woman and love the “two pump” chumps because to me, it makes me feel powerful and desired. Don’t let her or anyone else make you feel like it’s an abnormal thing
Agree with this. Get couples therapy before you regret anything.
If you haven’t talked to your wife openly about your concerns then you are just being lazy.
Yeah that was my first thought too, esp the eye contact thing. Im 28 & that’s still how I manage eye contact. Cant help it. ?
Sometimes it's manipulation and sometimes it's low self esteem where you feel attacked. Not everything is manipulation or a narcissistic person (who makes things about themselves). People are complex and in general I feel it's best to look at the whole picture, people's history, their relationships, all that jazz before just saying “oh yea classic manipulation.” And frequently men and women cope with situations differently.
Thanks for the insight 🙂
I “right” thing to do was to not cheat on your wife.
Get a life and let your wife find someone better than you, won’t be that hot.
But why? Laziness or cost?
Embarrassment makes people laugh. It seems that its the elephant in the room if we are to believe OP, so it seems not unreasonable that she would be embarrassed, relieved, weirded out that they were finally talking about it. Not a in a bad way, just in a taken by surprise way.
You idiot, you bafoon, you've been got by the oldest trick in the book. Come on man, your gf is no longer into you, accept that, and leave.
That might be necessary and I have plenty of male friends to stay with
I can't understand how he has the nerve to be mad. What did he expect to happen. You pull his jeans down, find what's NOT there and just carry on? You can be as accepting as hell but in this circumstance that waw not what you signed up for…
Wife or fiancee? Title says wife, post says fiancee. You dumped her because you assumed she liked some guy she was texting? You have kids together? There has to be more here. You must have been ready to dump her before this and this was an excuse.
I just read this entire conversation and want to say I agree with you. During your conversation I thought that a good comparison is when lawyers do this. They start a rapport with a witness, stepping around the question they really want to ask and toeing the line until they gotca.
The outcome is different sure, she's not fully trying to trap him in a lie or slip him up but it's similar.
Some people are also overlooking how tiring this would be if it happened constantly, which considering she does it for something so small as changing a spice in a recipe she's obviously going to be doing it for a lot of other things. They're getting so caught up with OP overreacting to this one tiny incident and not realizing that that's why OP is so annoyed. This would be happening all the time, even in such insignificant conversations like this.
Red flag
I'm sorry I don't believe her and I think she is playing you with calling the cops to get you to stay, and SHE SHOWERED, she washed all the evidence off. I personally would set her free and not look back.
If he's going to dump you over this you should be fucking furious. Motherfucker wasted three years of your life to spring this bullshit now?
Fuck right off dude.
That's what you need to discuss with her. Forget the cats and the pills for a second and get her into a discussion as to why she thinks it's okay to break your trust after you both came to an agreement. Damn, maybe even show her your post. She needs to understand that she can't operate like this if she wants to share a space with someone else.
The only way to resolve these feelings is divorce
For exactly the reason she’s sad. You can feel really upset because you wanna be with them or they look really good or they’re really nice but you just don’t have the feelings. And then you feel kind of twisted because you feel like you’re hurting somebody. So clearly she’s sensitive. But you know her and you’re probably right she’s probably got some depression and other things that she’s just not capable.
Came to say this. Like OP, I have an impeccable memory, down to remembering the temperature and what everyone was wearing the day X happened.
But that say absolutely nothing about my knowledge on any given topic. I am a regular at the library because I am so aware of how much I don't know.
I feel like OPs Tl;Dr should have been “I mansplain all the time and was shocked to find out I was wrong.”
I am really hoping that when op grows up, he finally figures out how stupid he was when he was 27…
Cut your loses and dump her. This might be the first time she asks for money, but it wont be the last, and the amount will surely increase
They want his details in case something happens to me, like if he hurts me and stuff.
I talked with him about dating and he said we can do it, step by step.
I know I'm allowed to have relationships they don't know about, but they don't understand that unfortunately.
It does sound like you are walking away from your marriage. You do talk about you and you. Your husband seems like a burden to you and your future.
I do not think your marraige will last. You might want to consider getting a D. and let him find someone that wants to be in a relationship with him.
You spelt ex bf wrong.
And before you leave, swap the lube he uses to masturbate with for something spicy, say puréed ghost peppers, or superglue, so when he uses it after you leave he strips something of himself.
I think this goes against the grain here. However, if the person genuinely wants help, try to help them into Rehab or local programs to help with addiction. They’re not dating safe but that doesn’t mean you can’t help someone from an arms length.
I think this goes against the grain here. However, if the person genuinely wants help, try to help them into Rehab or local programs to help with addiction. They’re not dating safe but that doesn’t mean you can’t help someone from an arms length.
Your roommate seemingly loves to create drama and hurt. Not someone I would willingly associate with.
Internet mom here. No. Just no. Can you imagine if you, a man, did what she did? Absolutely no difference. She’s lucky you didn’t press charges. Send one text. Please do not contact me again. If she violates that consider a restraining order. Seriously. She’s not right.
It doesn’t sound as if he’s asking you to match his effort. I was the athlete in my marriage. He was overweight. We had a lot of problems but I never expected him to match my efforts and it wasn’t even a little part of why our marriage didn’t work. Breathe. He loves you.
You don't become a crazy cat lady until you have at least 5. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
But may I suggest finding someone whose values align more with yours? And also who says what they mean instead of being “nice”.
yep, when you get to that, “whats the use” type mentality, its not going to end well.
Its not a mature way to handle it, but when you're young and immature, it happens.
Same way with an addict, if you expect them to go do drugs eventually, and treat them that way, it can happen.
Jesus Christ I should not have looked at the profile. Regret reading this whole thing now lol
I can on-line with that, but I only disagree in the sense that I do feel for the OP. she's between a rock and a very hot place, and there is no easy answer, I can definitely relate to feeling at the end of my tether as a mother, its just there is no easy solution where everyone is happy here. She needs help, lots of help, emotional support, and physical real life help.
He’s a fucking child. You should be the one sitting down while he does these things. And for him to have the audacity to be upset that you’re not spending time with him??
You should edit your title. He’s not a partner at all.
Run.
It's not abusive
Only she truly knows why. Maybe she's an asshole that loves wasting guys time, or maybe, as she said, she was overthinking it.
100% agree what she did was incredibly disrespectful.
Ok, so that’s the pattern, you prefer being chased, which is understandable, as then you get to decide how you feel about them, with out having to worry about rejection. BUT as you notice, the harder a man chases, it becomes off putting, as then you feel pressured that they need you, rather than just want you. Three possible solutions, maybe risk more vulnerability and try mildly chasing yourself. Two, look for men who are mild chasers, pay attention to acts of kindness rather than acts of interest, build friendships, and see where it leads. Three, look for relationships that build reciprocity, they give a bit you give a bit, anyone that gives a ton of attention or interest too quickly with out you reciprocating, be wary of that. Lastly google attachment style, sometimes understanding your attachment style can help you understand your dating patterns in a way that give you more insight on how to tweak it to best meet your needs.
You have no idea what you’re talking about. At all. Tell me. Are you acting like this to everyone here? Or just me? I could be totally wrong. I can admit that. Can you?? You don’t know me if what I’ve been through. Stop acting like you do. Lol.
THIS!!!
Is this satire? A joke post? If it is, it isn't very clever. Your joke just comes off as rather plain and uninteresting. But because this is Reddit, on the off chance this isn't a joke: don't be disgusting.
-You're not a pull out King, that's just gross and doesn't need to be shared with the internet.
Your wife is well within her rights to go on birth control because she doesn't want more children. It has nothing to do with sleeping around, it's probably because she doesn't want to put her faith in “the pullout king” ?
Women are allowed to change their minds and try new things without being branded as unfaithful. I've applied to get sterilised, and I never wanted that a month ago, but I looked up the benefits and thought it was definitely more convenient for me. It doesn't mean I'm cheating on my husband.
Go apologise to your wife for being so silly.
Sit with him for 5-10 minutes and give him all your attention.
This kind of happened to my dad who was often too busy when I was growing up. At some point he realized he missed everything and wanted to catch up. It’s kind of sad really.
Again, give him 5-10 quality minutes. Maybe have a question ready everyday for him to expound on his views about life, marriage, friendship. Then, announce what you are going to do next; ie homework, shower, whatever.
By the way, you will have to do the same for a young child until they are around 12…then poof, they don’t want to talk to you anymore.
Follow this advice! He's less likely to act up if he's in public with lots of witnesses, and that adds a level of safety for you. You could also have a friend be waiting in a car close by that you can jump into if needed.
Except that condoms have a higher fail rate than vasectomies. From what I can glean from a quick google search vasectomies fail less than 1% of the time. Condoms have a typical use failure rate of 13% and perfect use failure rate of 2%.
Most humans are not perfect, so it’s pretty likely that the typical failure rate would apply to this guy and his girlfriend. I’m not saying condoms aren’t useful, I think they’re a great tool. But they aren’t perfect.
It’s cool if you’re okay with the risk involved, but that doesn’t mean everyone feels the same way.
It sounds like she didn’t give you the full details about her because she didn’t think it was relevant. Do you have an agreement to tell each other every person you’ve dated or slept with? Now that she will see this person she’s being very transparent, which I think is respectful. Feeling a little jealous or surprised isn’t always a signal something is wrong. Sometimes it’s just a normal reaction to thinking about your partner with someone else. A blip and then you move on.
If you don’t trust her to see this person in a platonic context that’s a different story. You can either be honest about your insecurity, or you can accept that you’re early on and you still need time to learn how she handles being around exes and if you’re compatible in that way.
Points to her for bringing this to you and trusting you to communicate your needs.
If it is CP or anything remotely resembling it or sexual… then leave and go no contact. If it is other crimes like financial, drugs (there is victims in that) or whatever then you have to decide if you morally can support it. Because by staying with him then you are accepting it, not approving but accepting.
If it is CP or anything remotely resembling it or sexual… then leave and go no contact. If it is other crimes like financial, drugs (there is victims in that) or whatever then you have to decide if you morally can support it. Because by staying with him then you are accepting it, not approving but accepting.
If it is CP or anything remotely resembling it or sexual… then leave and go no contact. If it is other crimes like financial, drugs (there is victims in that) or whatever then you have to decide if you morally can support it. Because by staying with him then you are accepting it, not approving but accepting.
Yeah I agree. I’ve been there too and also disassociated from the assault. I was 22 in college and extremely intoxicated and had been put on a friend’s couch to “sleep it off” for about an hour. So I was both drunk and completely out of it when I came to and found that a guy (who ended up being my older cousin….I know, gross) was now on the couch with me but even then I felt like fighting would only escalate the situation. He was big, he played football at his college. I then went through a feeling of disassociation where I wasn’t even connected to my body. I was aware of what was happening but it didn’t make sense to me and I didn’t have the wherewithal to get myself out of there. I was going in and out of consciousness but the windows of being actually aware of what was happening have stuck with me for 20 years, 8 months and 14 days. Thankfully a person walked in and been aware that I had been placed there earlier because I was so drunk. He recognized what was happening and pulled me out of there. I am forever thankful for him.
That’s a tough spot whether he is doing it intentionally or whether just the way he is. And tough to watch I’m sure.
Cariño, voy a confirmarte tus peores miedos: tu novio terminará por dejarte. Pero no por tu belleza o tu falta de ella sino por tu inseguridad. La belleza está en los ojos del que mira. Hay hombres mucho más guapos y objetivamente más atractivos que mi novio pero es él quien me encanta y su olor, su esencia me vuelve loca.
Yo no soy fea (tampoco soy la leche) pero estoy gorda y siempre lo he estado. Hay mujeres mucho más atractivas que yo y que se arreglan mejor que yo. Las veo día a día. Trabajo con ellas. Y son mis amigas.
Tu novio te quiere. Te ha elegido. No está contigo por pena. Si hubiera querido estar con su amiga algo habría pasado pero te eligió a ti. Disfrútalo.
Mi consejo es que vayas a esa quedada, que hables con ella, que la desmitifiques. Que veas sus imperfecciones, sus poros, lo que la hace humana. Y si es maja pídele consejos de maquillaje (aprender a hacerme la raya superior del ojo ha cambiado totalmente mi atractivo).
No dejes que unos gilipollas que te hacían bullying definan tu relación con tu cuerpo. Seguro que si postearas en toastme habría un montón de gente que encontraría cosas bonitas de ti que piropear.
Cuídate ? Ve a esa quedada y nos cuentas. Seguro que va mucho mejor de lo que crees ?
Prison changes people. Especially if you're talking about years. It can be positive (they learn to keep structure), but also negative (dealing with certain types of people, hardening to survive, etc).
The most important thing now is, can you forgive him for doing something illegal, which may not only change his life, but also your life?
You broke a huge promise you made to her while she was recovering from delivering YOUR child. You're an idiot and you have really damaged your relationship. It looks like you're trying to downplay what you did.
The fact that she was in recovery from giving birth makes this 10000x more horrible.
I imagine that people who would leave their husband who they have kids with because they caught them watching porn once probably have a lot more than “one dealbreaker”
There should be a seperate sub for age gap garbage
I'm the same way with multiple alarms. I have sleep apnea and a CPAP, I also weight 180 lbs and sleep fine.
It's just hot to get out of bed in the morning, always has been.
Dude. Dude. You are actually going to break up with a woman because she is too beautiful, too smart, and too fun for you? She loves you, don’t be an idiot.
I do all 3 of those. I'm guessing I should've put more details in the post, but I didn't want to write a full on novel. I've already checked my mom and made sure she knows not to come out of line with my wife again, and she has had four or five spa days since the baby was born but its like I have to literally force her (pack the spa bag, buy the pass, drag her into the car, to get her to do it.) Its not like she has to leave me with a list of things to do to take care of the household- she wasn't on formal bed rest after birth, but I wasn't going to let (or make or make her feel like she had to) do chores when she just went through all that.
I know for sure I can do better on the night feedings, but when I set an alarm to do it she was annoyed. She felt like the baby crying was alarm enough. But somehow I just sleep through it.
If I offered to just sleep in the nursery for now on would that be better? Not joking, I seriously considered this, but my wife is a cuddler when sleeping so I'm not sure how she would feel about it.
The right girl will be patient with you while also bringing out that more outgoing side to you. Don’t let someone’s impatience mess with your growth. You need to grow at your own time. I changed for the right person but he was also patient with me….and vice versa
Yeah you're right, its the first time I go through something like this and I gotta wrap around it all, thanks for your advice drunk avacado lol
You're right that everyone handles stress differently but you may also consider that different people are good at different things. Just because you both do the same kind of work doesn't mean he's as good at this particular thing as you are. It sounds like he's generally miserable from this kind of work.
Instead of you talking about it and being frustrated from his poor attitude you can frame it like, you noticed he's having a hot time and you want to help. You don't want him to have to resort to taking his frustration out on you or at home. If you come from a place of frustration he may be defensive because to him he may just be doing his best (even if it's not really his best).
Perhaps you can both find a way for him to transition into different work. It could be transferring to a different dept in the same company or finding a new job altogether. Just make it clear that you understand his frustration and you want to help, not critisize.
Time to have the classic “what are we” conversation lol.
Maybe she wants to be in the child’s life now.
Maybe she wants to co-parent. You have to ask her.
Time to start asking questions my dude.
Invite her to your place to watch a movie. Have dinner before the movie. After dinner before the movie sit down and talk. She should not feel offended. She may feel the same as you but doesnt know how to start the talk.
After 6 years you want him to change? Too late for that. He's gone on this long without having to shit, he's not about to start now.
Attempts at creative writing. If they can't fool Reddit with how fake it is, no point putting it into a story.
It will also hurt your baby long term. They will see a terrible example of a relationship and will feel the unease of the relationship until it inevitably ends much later.
You just do it. Be prepared to serve eviction papers as well
I read it as they're moving in together soon, but not planning on buying property together for several years.
Read that back – you are making yourself sound even worse… I do hope she never goes back to you. You need to seriously reflect on your behaviour – it’s appalling. You cannot threaten to leave someone because you feel they should apologise. That’s abusive
I wouldn’t waste my time guessing and you shouldn’t either. Talk about it and insist that it happen.
That is what i thought as well. The only reason i was not 100 percent sure is because he changed a lot of his behavior that makes me uncomfortable and is seemingly very caring towards me. But i guess that doesnt really mean anything. I guess i should either break it off or try to brush it off?
You can't “sign parental rights away” unless a second parent is stepping up to adopt.
Children have the right to support from both parents, and a right to a relationship with both parents. Parents have a right to relationship and an obligation to support. Neither the mother, nor the father, can actually waive the child's right since it's not theirs to give up.
A pair of parents can come to an understanding between the two of them, but nothing denying the child's rights will be enforceable if either parent changes their minds.
Respectfully, being bisexual wouldn't help with what you are dealing with here.
A cis-gendered woman and a man wanting to be a different gender than the one he was born with are two separate types of people.
Like it was said in other posts, you are not compatible in terms of what sort of relationship is comfortable for you.
Also, unlike other woke posts, I disagree that you would be the asshole in regard to being sensitive toward your partner's gender fluidity.
Neither of you discussed how to console each other in case of tragic events without coming off as hurtful toward their gender identity.
It’s gonna depend on where y’all are at in life. My husband and I are 6 years apart. I was 24 and he was 30 when we got together. I had a more prestigious job than he did at the time, and actually made more money. We both had our own apartment, car and friend group. He didn’t have any sort of control or power over me.
I’d say as long as he isn’t controlling, you’re probably fine. Don’t let him tell you how to dress, how to spend your money, or what friends you can have or anything like that. And if you guys hit it off for a while and want to get married, make sure you’ve been together for a loooong time
Same here.. OP has basically been an afterthought to him in all this
yep see ur on the right track. just make sure when u do u say “check mate” then kiss the tip and say “ have a amazing day at work” and go back to sleep
That in addition to the “holding weapons against there body” is a very scary combo.
OMG- I had to look at the rules to see if I broke one- lol!
You seem to be a mature lady who is able to put things in perspective, so you should be able to handle this ok. The sex probably caused you to have feelings for this guy too early given how he turned out to be and the stage of the relationship, so you are still dealing with those, but your eyes seem to be open about him.
Honestly I think your post is really sweet. It seems like you're really understanding of why the situation is like it is, but you just miss intimacy with your wife.
I don't really have any advice (no kids yet), but I just wanna say you're really not wrong for trying to improve your sex life. Even after kids, it's part of a healthy marriage and it deserves attention.
Honestly I think your post is really sweet. It seems like you're really understanding of why the situation is like it is, but you just miss intimacy with your wife.
I don't really have any advice (no kids yet), but I just wanna say you're really not wrong for trying to improve your sex life. Even after kids, it's part of a healthy marriage and it deserves attention.
Based on what? People congratulated them about their engagement at the wedding. They announced the wedding date a week after. How long does OP and his wife expect the world to revolve around them?
I lied and said he did.
Yeah yeah. It’s pAtriAch issue. Wtf. Yeah 30’year old man. See you even reading what she wrote peanut galore ? You are so clueless , it’s not even funny.
“You want to make out ? Oh how long “. Didn’t know rudeness was libido issue kid. Jesus Christ , learn to read and pay attention.
It’s pAtriAChy….. wtf moment in history
I know it’s hot to see but you dodged a bullet. A big cheating bullet. No divorce. No alimony. You lucked out. She’s a trash cheater. You win.
When my wife and I started dating I paid for most dinners but she would pay for some as well. When I said she didn’t have to do that she would say that she invited me to dinner or why should the guy always have to pay? Made me love her all the more especially since my previous wife never made the offer even once. To this day we take turns paying for stuff, especially dinners. Usually it’s a case of someone had a long day and doesn’t want to wait on a cooked dinner.
He isn’t a great person and the help can NEVER come in a world where you have an idea of you being together in the future. Get it through your damn skull right now. You can’t rehabilitate abusers and put them back with the same partner. It’s quite rare that you can rehabilitate them at all.
Unless you are perfect, you are not good enough in her eyes. Rough? Yes. But true. She may grow out of this shallow mindset, she may not. And until she does, do you really want to be put in a closet every time you have a blemish? She only took care of you with the ankle because it wasn't ugly and she could play up nursing you to her “fans”. Are you really willing to be second fiddle to that?
I’m wondering if you’re 100% honest I counseling or if you edit your sharing to protect your husband.
If you stay with her, you deserve to be with her.
songs** they are a band
what do you think being separated means
he started crying and asking how I could do this to him…
Exactly, he clearly only cares about himself, he doesn’t deserve OP.
It sucks that some people in her life have turned on her, but they kinda sound like assholes anyway.
On the bright side, OP will be so distracted by all the new good things going on in her life, she probably won’t notice them gone!
Don’t light yourself on fire to keep others warm. Don’t make this decision for others’ benefit OP, give yourself a chance at happiness ?
It’s not like he says “you’re cheating of me” what about those men who raises children that are not theirs. Why not do it to be sure? It isn’t such a big deal in the end.
Girl she is not your friend. Someone dating someone I love makes them immediately off limits. Dump her
Flowers to start send them before you get home. On the card how she is the most beautiful woman in the world to you.
Everybody is weird in their own ways, that is what makes us interesting.
Find someone who appreciates your quirks, this guy sounds like a dud!
The is a joke troll post right? Working on your creative writing skills? You are really this clueless? You are not going to have this girlfriend for long bro. I already left you after reading this and we are not even dating! You are mega selfish and rate everything except using your girlfriend for sex above her.
Good lord man.
He essentially wants to act single when he goes out with friends. If he truly prized your relationship, he wouldn’t be so quick to go with them without you and proceed to forget about you/put his relationship at the back of his mind. He doesn’t want to let go of the single party lifestyle.
He doesn’t care about your feelings or else he wouldn’t have been dancing/hooking up with girls in the first place. It’s even worse that now you know what he is up to and you are clearly hurt, but he refuses to stop. People like him either lack perspective-taking skills or are incredibly selfish. He either can’t understand or is pretending to not understand why you are upset, why it might take a long while to process and let go, and why you don’t want him to go. This isn’t a problem with you being controlling, but him not being able to consider and prioritize someone else’s feelings over his own. You can’t change/control him, so let him go. He isn’t someone who is willing to do the work when taking accountability.
I think there’s a lot you are not saying. Why does your wife expect to be in a relationship with you? What did you tell her when you went back? You sound at best untruthful. Why do you want to say awful things to your wife? What a mess you have created. Go with the one you are inclined to. Make it clean and stop messing your wife about.
Don’t be a parrot. Neener neener.
Thank you, I might try something along those lines, maybe just switching up the way we do things will help
We met up in person and spoke and it seemed optimistic. He said he's worried this would be a 'band aid' for a bigger issue.
And
He said he was worried we were doing this at a bad point in our relationship, I said that I thought we were in a bad point in the relationship because of this.
I agree with your statement.
You're burnt out and feeling like there is no light at the end of the tunnel for the relationship.
You need to feel like the relationship is going somewhere and is thriving. Having a relationship feel stuck… is challenging to navigate.
Are you throwing away a good thing? Possibly. But you're not getting what you need out of your relationship and that is critical. It's dying on your end.
I understand that LDRs can be unavoidable, sometimes you transition into one. But I will never understand how people willingly sign up for one as a starting condition. They are so hot to balance and find fulfillment in.
I completely agree with your position though. Something needs to change. You need to have each-other in your everyday life. And if 4 years doesn't seem like its been enough time to move in… when will that bridge be crossed?
Really… at minimum, the two of you should be living in the same city by now, regardless if its a shared living space or not.
He is the problem and thd only way to go is out.
This is pretty much the line n the sand I’d draw.
Agreed! Thank you
Well, that ship has sailed. If she didn't “mean” it, then she shouldn't have said it.
She really needs to talk to her doctor about how she is feeling, because she may have PPD and will benefit from treatment if she does.
Girl you are too young to throw away your time on this laser. Your commitment isn't strong when he's the one who couldn't keep it in his pants for what 2 weeks. You can do and deserve better than someone who has shown he really doesn't care. I'm sorry he sucks.
Try engaging a therapist to help you figure out what other areas of life are being impacted by your inability to commit. You've made a lot of mistakes including this one. Learning from them gives value to the experience and prevents repeat performances.
You say you are broke but you still have money to spend on booze and weed. Maybe if you sort out your god damn priorities your life might not be such a f’ing mess
Anal rape is certainly worth ending a relationship and, in fact, worth a call to the police.
Boom!
I think he has a porn addiction. It reduces the sexual drive of the males.
So you had had a discussion that sex with someone else was cheating, but sexting was not? Sounds like you caught him cheating and he's not got you believing it's your fault. Next you'll find out he got a bj from someone and it'll be “you said no sex, we didn't have sex sex”. Come on. 4 months in and he's already cheating.
I wonder how he’s going to feel when he’s going to need insulin to survive his chocolate milk addiction that will eventually catch up to him.
Did you slap him in school?
FWIW, I wouldn't put up with that, either.
Sucks when you feel like you don't exist in your own relationship. It's even worse when it's because that attention is going elsewhere right in front of you.
If you've communicated it and let him know how much that hurts and he doesn't want to change, I'd head out. You accept it, and it's pretty much what things are gonna be like between them, going forward. Would like to make clear, nothing wrong with having a friend of the opposite sex, it's when that person is so high priority, it inadvertently affects your other relationships.
I will definitely do that, thank you!
Sounds like your wife has a frenemy, enemy, or maybe someone you know is infatuated with you.
I wouldn’t take random anonymous messages seriously. It’s like the texts I get saying I’m locked out of my Netflix account but click here to get back in. Don’t click.
This is not going to end well. You are fucked either way.
Has your partner always been like this, or is this a more recent development?
Get yourself and the child out of there. Stay sober.
Literally how did this man hear “if this doesn’t change, I’d rather be alone” from his spouse…and proceed not to change the thing??
Seems to me he’s due some consequences to his actions (or lack thereof).
NTA!
You didn’t steal something that was out in the curb! It was going to be taken to the landfill. You found it. It’s been cleaned. You have something in your hose that you love! If you do get asked, you can say that it came from Target. Using this phrasing says where it came from originally, not where you found it.
If she lacks emotional intelligence and seems pretty heartless at times, why did you value her so much as a friend? Is she actually worth the effort, mental turmoil, and ego bruising you've already suffered while trying to regain her friendship?
You do you, OP. But I'd stop casting my net for this particular fish, and look for better friends in the local community. You shouldn't rely on your old post-college group as your sole social outlet, especially now that those friends are no longer as close-knit as they once were.
Her parents are literally gonna think you are a fucking creep dude. Would u want your daughter dating someone 12 years older than her? Ew
They're right. You're way too old for her. She's fresh out of high school, and you're nearly 30. The gap in maturity and life experience is too big.
Perfectly rational reason for getting mad if he is not even trying. I would be mad too.
Why is he getting an orgasm before you? You cum first, then he can his
You're not far off a teenager, with those stars in your eyes and being so easily manipulated by a guy old enough to be your daddy.
No offense, just laying down the objective reality.
RUN!!! Enmeshed family girl was the absolute worst relationship I ever had.