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Robin Redhead, 25 y.o.
Location: England, United Kingdom
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Date: December 12, 2022
Yeahhhh, this is why I loathe the “if he said that to ME he'd be in the hospital and I'd be in jail” comments that proliferate live (and in real life)…like the assumption is always that the affronted person is going to win the fight, for some reason.
Not really a contradiction. They date barely legal women because they can't measure up to women their own age.
I excited to buy a house with my SO. We will get a house 'prenup' drawn up, but it will be voided if we marry. You should consider the same. Marriage is a communal thing, without that it's just, well, less.
idk if approval Is the right word but if I had an ex id for sure want to show off on them
Correct me if Im wrong, but this man has been sick for 2 months and that somehow lead you to the conclusion that he is cheating ? He needs a fucking doctor.
When I am 70 years old, I hope there’s a guy like you around
I thought maybe so but I asked when we spoke about things and she told me she wouldn’t do that to me, she’s too busy to focus on more than one person
You answered your own question in your post. It feels weird and you’re hiding it. Break it off.
Just report (and repeat for each time they post)
It sounds like you are feeling very overwhelmed and hurt by your girlfriend's behavior. It is understandable that you may be feeling worried and unsure if she is losing interest in you. It's important to keep communication open between the two of you, so that you both feel heard and respected. Talking to her about how you feel and asking her what she needs in order to feel comfortable and supported in the relationship could help to rebuild the trust and understanding between you two. Above all else, be understanding and supportive of her. Remember that relationships require time, effort and patience from both parties.
Emotional and physical abuse only escalates, you and your children at risk from her. She can only keep her behavior in check for a short time because controlling it is exhausting. Her default position is violence and aggression. She is trying to fool you that she has changed and one of the strategies she is employing is coercion and blackmail. Do not fall for it she will not change. As a victim of this sort of behavior my advice is cut all ties, go to court and get full custody of your children. Document every incident, photograph any marks. Go to the police keep reporting the assaults on you. Protect your personal safety and guard your children.
So a first time grandparent doesn't usually get their first grandchild a gift for Christmas? I'm not saying I'm expecting a bunch of toys, but a single gift for her first grandchild seems reasonable
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1)you follow through. Decide you're no longer into her. She feels otherwise. You bring a new girl home. She takes offense. Is rude to other girls you bring home.
2)you fall for her. She doesn't. Above scenario flipped.
3)you actually decide to be in a monogamous relationship. Break up. Still stuck in a lease.
4)have sex and one of you regrets. Things are incredibly awkward.
Unless you feel the risk of any of the above is worth sex with her, don't do it. I get it. It's so convenient but…yikes, you're stuck with her dude when it goes south.
As someone who had an ED about 20 years ago, one thing I will say is eliminate triggering foods she feels contribute to her body insecurities right now. This way she feels more secure because those foods are not in sight and she won’t feel as tempted to munch on but instead eat healthier foods as substitutes.
Approach asking her if she wants to do a resolution for no sweets, sodas, bake goods, & candy. Like an eliminate processed sugary food from the living space! Both of you would be committing to this and it can be the one thing to help her feel happier. It actually has great benefits besides physical reasons.
My mom dropped 10lbs alone many years ago (6 years ago) when she stopped drinking soda. It’s all the sodium in soda that retains water weight and the sugar contributes to bad sleep patterns, oily skin, break outs, feeling more irritable, and just overall health problems. A can of soda has three giant table spoons of sugar! One can!!!
When we do this, we improve our moods and mindset a bit more. It also helps with our energy levels, because processed sugar makes us more lethargic.
So try to see if she would be down to do a three month detox of processed sugary foods and drinks.
Oh and only sincere compliments about her looks, don’t just compliment to compliment. Compliment something you truly find desirable physically that makes you feel physically excited when you look at her. Sometimes this can boost confidence and help her feel more flattered about her figure.
Honey. Your girlfriend isn’t a high school virgin toying with the idea of sex for the first time. She is a full fledged grown woman and was around a man who you said she had chemistry with and for whom she ran away from home for. She and this guy did not just smooch and cuddle on the couch. That couch saw a ton of dirty shit.
Get tested (this isn’t the first time she’s cheated) and get OUT of there. Have some self respect.
This makes zero sense. Why would the presence of a man in the porn make any difference? It’s not like he’s looking at the man, he’s looking at the woman (unless he’s bi but you get my point). You’re being really silly and controlling for no real reason. Stop snooping and leave him alone.
I am not score keeping. I have been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and complex post traumatic disorder. I experience paranoia about everything in my relationship and other areas of my life. I Google everyday if I overate something, if I do everything in my life enough or too much. I have been abused in all of my past relationships including family and romantic relationships. As a result I suffer from relationship anxiety. I look for signs subconsciously that I am not enough or I will get hurt again or that there is something fundamentally wrong with me.
Why can I not see the comments?
I think I'm on a roll for a relationship_advice trope bingo…
You got married way to young and way to early in your relationship.
You both work in jobs that have very unfortunate reputations for spouses cheating on their partners: 1 in the medical field, 1 in some kind of military branch.
You can't communicate, personalities clash all the time by the sound of it so it's mostly arguing with each other and not listening and processing what the other says.
Projecting usually means there's something more going on.
All in all, man. All in all it sounds like you've finally come out of the honeymoon phase and you're both realising that you're not compatible. Just finalize the divorce and get it over with. And be glad there are no kids, pets or real equity involved.
super important doctor at age 24
Is this a reading exercise for this sub? How can anyone buy this story lmao
As another perspective to all the people saying your ex is a manipulative bitch etc etc, she might be immature and not know how to handle the situation. When I was growing up my siblings literally thought my ex boyfriend was their uncle. Kids don't really know any better. They would kept asking to see him and why he wasn't coming around anymore. If you were the only dad like figure the kid has known since he was 7 months he's probably very attached to you, even if you were like more of a fun uncle he probably misses you. She might have sent the video because she's manipulative, or she might have sent it because she didn't know if you would believe her if she sent a text instead. It's up to you if you want to visit the kid, but yeah this is what happens when you date people with young children and are around the kids. They get attached.
It appears they condone the other friend’s behavior because she said the friend group asked OP to forgive the friend trying to steal her bf. Pretty crazy
Why are you trying to convince him with articles and letting this man dictate your function in the gym? You are grown woman. Go for a swim if you want to go for a swim.
If he gives you pushback about you needing to be his gym accessory bimbo or who can and can't perceive you, tell him to stop being backward and controlling. He's behaving like a child. You don't exist to prop him up, you're both there for strength, health, and recovery.
You have agency, use it.
This sounds so suspicious to me. Maybe you should ask him where he’d like his things sent, because if he goes on this supposed “bachelor party” he won’t be living there anymore. That’s just ridiculous!
There was a column here that kind of said how often do you have sex and it ranged anywhere from 1 to 4 times to every day. Every couple is different. And there are people that will match your libido style better so that your sexuality level will be more what you want it to be. But if you’re with somebody that has a high libido yeah they’re gonna want it may be every day and I’ve known a couple of guys that want it more than once a day. Are used to get those when I was young two I stopped getting them once I hit 30 but in my 20s I got them often and I wasn’t quite sure why. I would try the cleanliness thing. There’s a whole bunch of other things you can do that are intimate that you could do almost every day that I don’t wanna go into over here that couples do that are married that are playful fun that our needs are met and so actual penetration that you’re talking about is different. I almost suggest you look around and I will try to look around for the column that said, I think it was on ask Reddit. About how often is normal for sex or something
Live and learn bro. Thats it
There are apps where you can do the same thing with virtual phone numbers. This would be good too if you didn't want to let anyone know where you were for a while. You could give everyone numbers with different area codes. I highly suggest keeping your location with only one or two people for a while.
Thank you. I didn't think I did anything wrong, but our friends have told me I'm an asshole. It's like no one else sees how fucked up things are with these two and I don't understand it.
If he hasn’t “let” you meet her after seven years, I don’t think it’s ever going to happen. Don’t you ever wonder why he’s keeping you so far away from his personal life despite him being your best friend…?
This response is concerning.
I am encouraging her to make her own stuff, she used to make her own stuff and was very successful with it, but stopped. I try to encourage her to start again but she doesn’t want to do that. She had been selling antiques and has a huge cache of them that she is supposed to be focused on selling to make room to expand our home.
You are a booty call. Simple as that. You just need to let that one go. Sorry
If you’re on and off again and have a lot of issues to work through WHY ARE YOU HAVING A BABY?????? If this mess is too big to get married I’ve WHY ARE YOU BRINGING A CHILD INTO THAT??
Very fair point. If my gf caught saw something that was weird. My first instinct would to not be mad. I would either explain the truth because i have nothing to hide or be confused. Maybe i am different though. Thanks for helping
so what should I do now considering the people on this post and in my dms are basically telling me I'm making a big deal out of nothing.
Are you sure it is the dog? It could be mold in ventilation system or dust mites. Most common allergy. Also it could be gas fumes from stove if lacking proper ventilation. Older Apartment houses also have shared ventilation from apartments with smokers etc.
Um, being in love with someone isn't synonymous or about having “nothing to dislike about them”. Love isn't an absense of dislike, nor is it something earned or traded.
You've been together for a year now. If your BF felt genuine chemistry & love for you, both of you would know by now.
Housemate or not if she is not comfortable with you doing it, then it’s hypocritical for her to expect you to be okay with it.
So you either tell her that you are okay with it, but she is hypocritical. Or you tell her no, as it is hypocritical of her to say she would not be okay with it if the roles are reversed.
Your compromise of him staying with you is a good one, so try that again, if you still get no traction with that request, then maybe a different conversation needs to happen, like why she is so hell bent on him staying with her?
Thanks a lot for taking your time and replying to my post. I appreciate you. I am not obsessed with my ex to the extreme where I would cyber stalk her, re-read our old conversations, look through our pictures etc. It's only that she pops up in my mind every now and then and I question myself with good ol' “what if?”. I still didn't enter into relationship with the girl I'm dating so I guess that also makes difference? I do agree with you that more time could have passed before I start dating again, but then again, as you said, I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I should continue with my life despite of intermittent melancholy I feel; otherwise I'll stay trapped in the past which is detrimental.
I haven’t said my trust issues are not impacting our relationship. But I don’t express them in ways that are abusive and you shouldn’t throw that terminology around. I have not given any context as to why he said he panicked or what more he said on the matter, or how I responded to that. I’m self aware enough to know that I have shit to work on and as a team, we are working through it and making progress. I didn’t ask for advice on my trust issues or whether I should be in a relationship. We’re happy together and have been for years.
Does he have an iPhone? If yes and his location settings are turned on, you may be able to see his “signification locations” which are logged unless you turn the setting off. Might give you some more context to the locations you found
Ah, you're definitely more mature than me. I just broke up with my girlfriend of four years because I found out about her cheating on me, but for me that's the worst form of betrayal imaginable in a relationship, probably because it's still pretty fresh. You must be a therapist with patient info, that's definitely understandable
You did nothing wrong. You called him out on his bullshit and now he's mad.
Honest question and I’m asking you to really self reflect here – is your home really a safe place for an infant? That is, could mother be using other words to say your house is unsafe, your house is not set up for a child? Because she doesn’t want to have a fight over your home situation specifically.
Sometimes people don’t have a realistic view, their own living situation with regard to introducing a child into it and so that’s why I’m asking you to honestly consider it.
I’m not saying or assuming that’s the case, but just checking because it didn’t come up in what I’ve read so far.
Fuck off already omfg!
I mean…facts are facts. They contribute a fee thrusts and a teaspoon of sauce and think they’ve done 50/50.
That's what my gut is telling me. It's just scary thinking she'd end her life over this
Hahaha “ after we posted you all agreed with him but idc I’m not standing up to my parents so we are breaking up”
People are wild
Thank you, I've asked him to start writing his own notes like why am I giving him orders. Funny thing is he's an engineer and logical guy, he helps me put with housework so WHATS THE PROblem.
Do you have kids?
I wouldve blocked him.. but i guess make him plan it n pay. Jesus.
UpdateMe!
Gave up looking for a comment that mentions that irrespective of who cheated, do you OP realize that if he chooses to be a part of the child’s life and marries this woman, she will also be a part of your child’s life as long as they’re together. And if they have kids, your child will also have connections there.
Some people don’t realize even if they choose to be a single parent, a child will have more than one connection if all parents are involved and a blended family is a lot, even when you like each other. Good luck.
Honestly, if this was for something superfluous, like a new TV or a wedding, then I'd probably mock-up some formula, like the following, to try and isolate objective and subjective variables and make a more sound decision.
=SUM(1- (ME_WORK_HOURS / COMBINED_HOURS)) \ (( 1- ME_STRESS ) * 2 ) * (ME_INCOME + BF_INCOME)*
But this is housing we're talking about. A basic-need. Both of you should be contributing everything you can to securing it, regardless of how to split it, even if that means that you and he own different amounts in the end. The per-month payment shouldn't be crossing either of your minds, all that matters is that it's paid and how much each of you have paid.
Splitting bills 50/50 is one thing, because of the perpetual-payment aspect it's very hot to get a sense of shared scale with collaborative earnings and the answer is 'just agree how to split it'. Housing isn't that, it's a big purchase that's paid-off over a finite amount of time, and that makes it easy to plan.
TL:DR; you and your BF need to put-away all spare money until you both, together, have enough to complete the mortgage (including interest). Pay the mortgage from that saving account and keep a note of who's paid-in how much. When the house is paid-off, you'll be able to work-out the ownership-split, and if you'd like you could then work-out a plan on equalising the payments between the two of you.
The arguing can wait for when its relevant. You've got a house to secure.
Good point.
thank you, this has been the approach I've adopted but its very hot, I miss her.
Right? This is the worst possible advice you could give someone, smh.
„Babe“ every man in your entire life is trash.
Well he is cheating now so he is trash like your father, brother and grandfather like every man in your life. Why do even you care so much? What would it change if you find a reason? Why don’t you ask him why he became a POS who is betraying his whole family? Why do you still want to contact him when you know that he is cheating on his wife with you?
Reddit can’t answer your question because again, there are a lot of reasons and only your POS ex can answer you that. Defending cheating is disgusting.
Thanks, I think looking back she was happy because the situation worked for her but not for me and she tried to keep it going despite knowing how I felt. Funny what feelings do to you!
I don't vent to my family or regular friends about major arguments that my fiance and I have. If it is just my best friend and me, we tend to talk a little more about these things but they never go farther than between us. We also have an understanding that there will be no judgement towards the others spouse if such things are discussed.
I don't discuss these types of things with my family as I don't want them to ever think badly of my fiance. I am not sure if your BF knows or understands this. In all honesty if you are having these blow up arguments only a year in and he is griping to his family about it, that isn't a good thing. Especially because he told his version of things to them, who knows what he really said. It may have been some trumped up version of the argument where there was no possible way he could be wrong, thus his family can only see you as the bad guy/crazy GF.
You can try communicating with him but I fear that he may just take the same path he has already taken, avoidance and then discussing it with his family. I feel like this is a no win scenario for you. You may wish to take a step back and evaluate if this is how you want all of your major arguments to go and if this is the relationship you really want.
I don't vent to my family or regular friends about major arguments that my fiance and I have. If it is just my best friend and me, we tend to talk a little more about these things but they never go farther than between us. We also have an understanding that there will be no judgement towards the others spouse if such things are discussed.
I don't discuss these types of things with my family as I don't want them to ever think badly of my fiance. I am not sure if your BF knows or understands this. In all honesty if you are having these blow up arguments only a year in and he is griping to his family about it, that isn't a good thing. Especially because he told his version of things to them, who knows what he really said. It may have been some trumped up version of the argument where there was no possible way he could be wrong, thus his family can only see you as the bad guy/crazy GF.
You can try communicating with him but I fear that he may just take the same path he has already taken, avoidance and then discussing it with his family. I feel like this is a no win scenario for you. You may wish to take a step back and evaluate if this is how you want all of your major arguments to go and if this is the relationship you really want.
There's no reason a married man should be exchanging numbers with a woman.
This is ridiculous. I’m not saying it was right or wrong in OPs instance but generalized and absolute statements like that don’t work in real life and sets up unnecessary expectations for couples which only worsens their relationship further. For instance, I am a single guy and I just exchanged numbers with a married female friend of my best friend (also female). Why? Cos this other friend is from a different city and here on a gig and doesn’t speak the local language AND doesn’t have any friends here. Please don’t pass on your own insecurities in the name of advice!
There's no reason a married man should be exchanging numbers with a woman.
This is ridiculous. I’m not saying it was right or wrong in OPs instance but generalized and absolute statements like that don’t work in real life and sets up unnecessary expectations for couples which only worsens their relationship further. For instance, I am a single guy and I just exchanged numbers with a married female friend of my best friend (also female). Why? Cos this other friend is from a different city and here on a gig and doesn’t speak the local language AND doesn’t have any friends here. Please don’t pass on your own insecurities in the name of advice!
You are really infuriatingly gaslighted into believing that getting with that guy was a goid idea in the first place!
What did I tell you, when you said: “It's over.”
I told you: “No way he will let you off the hook!”
And what happened? Oh, he wisened up.
Yet still….. YOU have to apologize?!
NO WAY!
He is manipulating you into submission.
Get therapy! Urgently!
This is dangerous and your behaviour is concerningly manipulated already.
Tbh I don’t think there’s enough to really confront her about it but you could see if the way she’s acting changes around you. You could also ask more questions about the night like what took the taxi so long or something like that to get a better idea of what happened between 3 and 5.
I think it’s fair to be a little suspicious here but not enough in it. What made you want to look at her phone btw? Do you do this often?
This really sounds like her depression is acting up AND you are trying to make things right in all the wrong ways for her.
You keep talking about what you are doing for her, but it doesn't sound like she is getting what she actually needs in support to help her through her mental health issues.
I strongly recommend a couples therapist for you guys, in addition to some individualized therapy… Because this sounds like a complete misalignment of your intentions and needs…
Didn’t mean to say there was a massive conspiracy, OP. Only that you’d left out some details in your original post.
All in all, marrying someone you don’t know that well, without having met their family, plus having this whole money discussion sounds a bit iffy in my view. Trust, but verify.
consulting with your boyfriend is a lot different than asking permission. wouldn’t you want to know about a trip your boyfriend is planning too?
Sigh . . . . . Another pos partner out there. OP you're underreacting to this and his entire controlling, dismissive behavior. When's the last time he planned a date for you that you loved? Did something nice for you with no gain for himself? Why did YOU have to help your son? You couldn't share your password to the account and he help the son get added? Are you the only capable adult in your relationship? We see this time and again where men like him mean what can you do for me when they think of love, not what they can do for their partner. He sounds like a really shitty husband who is giving a great example to your son of how not to be. Do you want to live like that forever??
consulting with your boyfriend is a lot different than asking permission. wouldn’t you want to know about a trip your boyfriend is planning too?
That’s fucked up.
Deal breaker once she changed plans for the ex.
My 0.02, though not that long, at 1.5 years I don't think it is unreasonable to ask to go with her. If these are important friends, you should probably know them too. That or ask her to keep her original plans.
What has she told you when you brought up that you weren't super comfortable with her going on this trip in the first place?
And I said they'd be justified in making her, but either way, this is the cutoff where she can't deny being a mooch if she wont contribute
My husband and I each have our separate accounts, I cover rent and he covers all grocery shopping
This isn't far off from the arrangement I have with my SO. His disability pays for rent and utilities, his bus pass, and the last $100ish goes to wherever is most important that month. Everything else is from my employment income (which is, on average 2-2.5× his disability cheque). If I run short on hours, we negotiate how much of his cheque gets diverted to higher needs (eg food)
My ex used to do this to me all the time, and gave me the same bullshit “thats a you problem” response when I begged him to stop. He never stopped, in fact it actually got worse as the years went on. I'm so sorry to have to tell you this but not only is he not going to change, nor does he want to change, but he might actually be enjoying the fact that you don't enjoy it. I know leaving a 9 year relationship feels like failure, and it might up-end your life for a while but getting out is the best thing you can do for yourself.
That isn’t your problem, it’s her problem. She needs to figure it out. You need to talk to a lawyer asap and get your ducks in a row. Then do it.
You could go to a therapist together… I think some people are afraid of initiating therapy, so going with someone you trust feels safer.
Clearly, she’s under a lot of stress and pressure from school. Make it about that—and less about her having a “problem”. If you approach the subject with an interest of seeking help together to better find tools so you can both manage your stress and lives better as a team, she’ll be less likely to reject the idea.
Once shes comfortable going to therapy with you, she may feel more courage to seek therapy on her own for her childhood trauma.
The main thing is getting in the door and breaking some of the stigma and fear of going. And if you propose something from the angle of “teamwork” she’ll feel less judged, less self-hatred for her struggles.
A final thought: My sister is on the high functioning autism spectrum. Sometimes suggestions she views as fair or neutral-fact in her effort to help, tread over my sensitive feelings. Sometimes her cool-headed reactions leave me feeling like a hot-mess in comparison. But I know its not her fault, or her choice. Things can be lost in translation between people on the emotionality spectrum. Which is why me and my sister have worked so very hot to make sure we understand each other. She tries to leave room for people to react to stressors naturally, to ask questions and listen, and offer solutions consensually. And I remind myself that if she’s blunt, it isn’t on purpose, and to not self-loath because I’m more outwardly emotional than she is. I also need to keep in mind that though she doesn’t show it, she internalizes stress and it doesn’t mean it isn’t affecting her (it manifests physically in her case). We both apologize when we accidentally offend the other. And she knows when I’m stressed and emotionally reactive, that intense phrasing can really hurt me. We’ve come a long way.
OP, I wish you the best of luck! I hope she makes it in to therapy. We all need it sometimes.
At this state he was in definitely he can't have a family he claims he wants.
As I said I did recommend to him counselling but he didn't agree. I can't explain it I felt a chemistry between us
The person who lived in my apartment before me smoked inside. I moved in in July, so 9 months ago. I washed all the walls when I moved in, bought an air purifier, and change the purifier and apartment air filters regularly. I was out of town for work last week, came home after several days, and the apartment smelled like stale cigarettes. Guess I just don't notice anymore – I ended up putting out bowls of vinegar and opening all the windows, but I'm not sure what else to do.
No it’s not. You can add a third person to a room. He just doesn’t want to.
Either that or grab a receipt after she tosses it from her table. Every restaurant I've seen has the servers name on it
Bet for 15 years she just sat around hating on this kid.
Sounds like your ex-best mate has some serious issues and should be left in your past.
You celebrate when she gets back. 34???
You celebrate when she gets back. 34???
It all smells fishy. Wouldn’t be surprised if ex friend said something like “keep this between us because XYZ”.
Then the very hot couch part. That’s a bit off too. Blackout drunk. Got hard. I dunno. Unless she sleeps in hard.. why not go lay in bed.
Many I dunno’s.. phone check is valid.
No way this is real
Thats not a miscommunication, that's just him being an AH.
The reason why I don’t click likes on her posts is because it’s not important to me. The actual relationship itself between us is the most important. And I barely click likes to any posts by anything anyway.
Personally, I think you need to be single and work on yourself. If you got married a year into your relationship, that means you were engaged within just a few months of knowing him. Now you’re sobbing over this man and taking him back in the same breath/two hours after he said it was over. Also, just because he regrets what he said doesn’t mean he didn’t mean it. There was definitely truth behind his statement “we got married too fast.” There seems to be a lot of co-dependency in this relationship on both sides.
are you Saitama? cuz that was one punch LOL… he never even really replied to my response or elaborated further
He used to, but doesn't now. My issue with it is that it's seemingly excessive in that his friends do it all the time and I'm not sure that he'll fall back into it one day. I also think that who your friends are is very important because you inevitably end up being like them. I don't want to punish him but also kinda just don't want to be around all that.
He used to, but doesn't now. My issue with it is that it's seemingly excessive in that his friends do it all the time and I'm not sure that he'll fall back into it one day. I also think that who your friends are is very important because you inevitably end up being like them. I don't want to punish him but also kinda just don't want to be around all that.
Yeah entering the working world is a scary thing for college kids and the commitment of a long term relationship is adding to that I think — so our “normal” working life seems dull and someone at a rave seems exciting.
But it’s not gonna last and I think she realized that after we talked; she’s chasing attention like a lot of people do when their life gets mundane.
I'm oldish now and have some life experiences that allow me to say that when you have a big unexpected tragedy like that it is very common to fixate on everything that happened prior and nitpick it apart. Because the mind just doesn't know how to cope with that kind of loss and the mind likes things to make sense. I suspect you are fixating on what she said because there is probably a small part of you that thinks finding it to be true would make you angry at him and then the loss would hurt less. But anger doesn't really help, anger is exhausting. Over time you learn to live with the grief. It's always going to hurt, but you get used to it.
I’d felt it was exclusive too, he told me he wasn’t on tinder or dating anyone else early on and I definitely wasn’t, we just hadn’t labelled it at that point.
No everything, we’ve had intimate make out sessions before but when i try to kindly processed forward she doesn’t continue it, she’ll say no
dump him. spelling your name wrong in is phone just shows how little he cares about you.
He gets mad if you open the wrong drawer? Why do young girls put up with this nonsense? He’s told you he’s verbally abusive, argumentative, rude, he treats his parents like dirt, but he’s charming? No he’s not, it’s a face he puts on. You can’t fix anyone. That’s not your job. You can’t be with someone because of who they might become. If he’s upsetting you over a drawer- run! Abusers aren’t always awful. They are lovely. Until they aren’t. Then they are super lovely again. Then they aren’t. Learn what a good relationship looks like. This isn’t it. If he wanted to change he would be appalled at his actions and in therapy. He isn’t.
OP – In contrast to other people replying, I think it's okay to tell her how you felt about this. If you don't reply, or reply amusingly, she is going to potentially comfort herself with the fact that this was no big deal and that her actions weren't that bad. Empowering her to do it again next time she goes on break with this ex.
OP – did the ex dump her, or did she dump him? Or was it supposedly mutual?
I wouldn’t respond a all. She doesn’t really deserve one.
Even it if wasn't. someone who manipulates another person and plays with their emotions pretending they're more interested than they are so they can use the person if they need to is a grade A, 100% pure piece of shit. She's worthless on human level if she can be so cruel to people whose only mistake was caring about her. Why would you want to ever be with someone like that?
No I think he is upset that you did a thing you didn’t want him to do. He’s not upset about you following guys back he’s upset that you are doing similar things that you would get mad at him about. Following back a guy on Instagram is similar to liking a guys picture. If he followed back a girl would you be upset? He doesn’t care about the following he cares about the slight hypocrisy